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|The only option I see (College Personal Statement)
6 - Here is an idea, rather than going into great detail about your mother's wedding, why not discuss a comparison...
Undergraduateiyabazar - Oct 1, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 1, 2014
|'obsessed over Crime TV shows' - Rutgers transfer essay
2 - blove, you are looking to become a criminal justice lawyer right? So mentioning shows like CSI, wanting to become...
Undergraduateblove2 - Oct 1, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 1, 2014
|My life goal is to have a Computer Engineering degree and go to North Texas University
6 - Thanks :-)...
Undergraduateswatleader617 - Sep 29, 2014 / swatleader617 - Oct 1, 2014
|'Whenever you plan, you should always start early, since anything can happen'; CommonApp essay
Undergraduatehpharsh5 - Oct 1, 2014 / hpharsh5 - Oct 1, 2014
|New Orleans crossed through my mind - Why Tulane Essay
7 - Hashim, the comment that you read about personal experience was from the blog of one admission officer. That is...
Undergraduatehashimsyed17 - Sep 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 30, 2014
|I am many things and Black is one of them - Personal Statement for UT Austin; Essay A
Undergraduatetexasbreed13 - Sep 23, 2014 / EF_Kevin - Sep 30, 2014
|"Hey man, you should check out Baylor" - supplement essay
4 - Hey so I think for this essay you need to really consider your audience and discuss why Baylor will...
Undergraduatesupreeth97 - Sep 29, 2014 / texasbreed13 - Sep 30, 2014
|the children full of hope (COMMON APP ESSAY)
6 - Great essay, thanks for sharing here I had never found any correction, I love the way that you had...
Undergraduategodlover - Sep 21, 2014 / JessieCarpenter - Sep 30, 2014
|"Cut us all in half, we're all the same" - the exhibition; this work of art struck me like an arrow
Undergraduaterestinpizza - Sep 29, 2014 / sa1na - Sep 29, 2014
|'questioning all that you have stood for' - College application essay
2 - While I commend you for your strong faith the bonds of family, I believe that the essay became under...
Undergraduatenicksimkins - Sep 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 29, 2014
|"Irrational Rationalism" - Pomono Course Creation Essay
3 - thank you, I appreciate your feedback. I am considering redoing the essay using a different approach...
Undergraduategclough - Sep 28, 2014 / gclough - Sep 29, 2014
|"Life moves pretty fast..." - review my Villanova University Supplement Essay
2 - Supreeth, your essay is heading in 2 different directions at the moment. Making it difficult to find the focus...
Undergraduatesupreeth97 - Sep 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 29, 2014
|"BEST BUDDIES", significant event in my life- college entrance essay
Undergraduatesiegelkp - Sep 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 29, 2014
3 - Your paper could benefit from greater usage of vocabulary words. Although your vocabulary is within the average range for...
Undergraduatesa1na - Sep 29, 2014 / supreeth97 - Sep 29, 2014
|Opportunity Program / Computer Science / Last day fixes before submitting
2 - something that changed my life happened - something happened that changed my life and I wasn't able to go...
UndergraduateRaven_Chant - Sep 28, 2014 / sa1na - Sep 29, 2014
|Things To Do For Joy - MIT Essay
3 - You like to learn try to elaborate on what type of courses interests you, do you only take up...
UndergraduateMMUTHIAA - Sep 28, 2014 / nikhil333 - Sep 28, 2014
|How to be Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable
UndergraduateSamMorgan - Sep 28, 2014 / nikhil333 - Sep 28, 2014
|UC Prompt 2: A Wrong Gone Good
Undergraduateann158 - Sep 28, 2014 / ann158 - Sep 28, 2014
|'The New Teacher' (the struggle of having an uncommon name) - Common App
6 - I loved it. It's touching and heartbreaking and extremely relatable. (My full name is Neelambari Madhusudhanan, so you can...
Undergraduatejwajwa - Aug 21, 2014 / xigogondaki - Sep 28, 2014
|From Kenya to Stanford ED! :-) Letter to roommate supplement
3 - thanks for the advice Xigogondaki! I was a bit on the fence about that Kiswahili paragraph, haha...Hope we both...
UndergraduateChela - Sep 28, 2014 / Chela - Sep 28, 2014
|My name is Camp Horseshoe Scout Reservation - common app essay
5 - This was a really different and interesting approach to writing the essay. I liked how you aligned your perspective...
Undergraduateruffruff999 - Aug 31, 2014 / xigogondaki - Sep 28, 2014
|"You don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have" CommonApp Essay
7 - I was practically crying. This was so amazing and it really brought out the struggles so many face. I...
Undergraduateerinnicole - Sep 17, 2014 / xigogondaki - Sep 28, 2014
|Autobiography of myself as a reader - Syracuse University Common App
Undergraduatesagewise - Sep 25, 2014 / xigogondaki - Sep 28, 2014
|"freaking awesome" - Why Swarthmore? Supplementary College essay
Undergraduatemmurray4242 - Sep 27, 2014 / mmurray4242 - Sep 28, 2014
|Experiences / difficult situation / way of fun / contributing - STEM Application
3 - Honestly, from a view of non-native English speaker, I cannot really comment on grammar. But about contents, For the...
Undergraduatesa1na - Sep 27, 2014 / psm9619 - Sep 28, 2014
|"Limitless" - MIT Essay; I come from a family who thinks a human limit exists
3 - You have actually written a very interesting essay. However, you need to clarify what you mean by a human...
UndergraduateMMUTHIAA - Sep 28, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 28, 2014
|The trip to a football stadium turned out to be more than an exciting experience; Common app prompt
UndergraduateCaptainCook - Sep 21, 2014 / CaptainCook - Sep 28, 2014
|'As any self-made man, I am man of work, and my entire world is built on it'; MIT essay
2 - There are some punctuation errors : before and you need a comma(,) when counting more than 2 things. The...
Undergraduateironhand - Sep 28, 2014 / sa1na - Sep 28, 2014
|"Wrong but Right" - a memoirs about your experience in the past and its effect on you today
5 - thank you...
UndergraduateTbontb - Sep 27, 2014 / Tbontb - Sep 28, 2014
|Moving to another state - my parents sent me to California to live with my grandma and uncle
5 - Hey, i feel like these sentences sound repetitive. you are constantly saying that you have to leave everything...
Undergraduatekev80 - Sep 27, 2014 / CaptainCook - Sep 27, 2014
|'I want to gain a great experience for the future' - Why USA? Why Global UGRAD?
UndergraduateHusniya - Sep 27, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 27, 2014
|Change for the better - melting pot adventure
7 - Vinny, I have a suggestion for the content that I hope you will consider. I am stating it below...
Undergraduatevinnymj - Sep 26, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 27, 2014
|Among the academic cream of American universities the University of Chicago is most convincing to me
2 - first paragraph should be about you, not about the school. it's a narrative essay, so talk about something about...
Undergraduateprofes - Sep 14, 2014 / kev80 - Sep 27, 2014
|Fashion Institute of Technology Admissions Essay - Breaking Expectation
2 - I think that we need to create a focus for your essay in order to remove the redundancies and...
Undergraduateveb080 - Sep 26, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 27, 2014
|I Am a Mirror-Questbridge Biographical Essay
Undergraduatesummerlilac - Sep 21, 2014 / summerlilac - Sep 26, 2014
|'journalism and media' - USC Supplement for Academic Interests in Journalism
6 - What do you mean by this? Absolutely they have. Journalism is not my field, but I worked on it...
Undergraduateemilyc28 - Nov 25, 2012 / peyman_np - Sep 26, 2014
|Body Twist - extracurricular activity under 75 words - Bryn Mawr essays
Undergraduatejojo159 - Sep 26, 2014 / jojo159 - Sep 26, 2014
|Little People & Little Things - QuestBridge Essay
3 - Linda, I really like the way you presented the part of the essay about your cousin and his experience...
Undergraduatelindabrown1997 - Sep 26, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 26, 2014
|Using Engineering to design and build machines which transform the way we live - Automotive Eng. SOP
2 - There are some commas problems revise it .For instance I would like to continue my learning process further in...
UndergraduateYatish - Sep 26, 2014 / Vns9x - Sep 26, 2014
|'I signed up to volunteer for the Special Olympics' - Common App Essay
2 - - This portion of the essay prompt clearly indicates that the place must be somewhere that you frequent...
Undergraduatelbhux13 - Sep 25, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 25, 2014
|Father in jail - UCF Personal Statement: Overcoming an Obstacle
Undergraduatenairobi01 - Sep 25, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 25, 2014
|A New Journey - leaving behind the very lax live in Philippines
Undergraduateenzomentos - Sep 25, 2014 / lbhux13 - Sep 25, 2014
|The best day of my life. Virginia Tech Essay
5 - It would be good if you kind of explained somewhere in the essay exactly what you were doing or...
Undergraduategum101 - Sep 25, 2014 / lbhux13 - Sep 25, 2014
|'I have always been self-reliant' - First Draft Undergrad CommonApp Personal Statement
2 - This is a wonderfully written personal statement. Your sentiments, thoughts, and emotions are perfectly represented within the paper. I...
Undergraduatenaomimartinez - Sep 25, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 25, 2014
|Seizing the future! ~UC Freshman Prompt
2 - SeniorPeach, while I like the hook that you created by using the story that your mother was reading...
UndergraduateSeniorPeach2015 - Sep 24, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 25, 2014
|The Importance of Diversity - Cultural Food Day (Questbridge Prompt 2)
6 - I think the essay is good overall. There are a few grammatical errors but the ending sentence- "And it's...
Undergraduatesummerlilac - Sep 21, 2014 / BlueRose99 - Sep 24, 2014
|'emulate every aspect of my mother' - UC Personal Statement: the world I come from
6 - I can't seem to find a coupon code anywhere on the internet, but I really wish this post could...
Undergraduatemsi - Sep 24, 2014 / msi - Sep 24, 2014
|ApplyTexas Essay B - Circumstance / Conflict In My Life
4 - I like that your essay is personal however I feel it's a little debbie downer in the beginning, so...
UndergraduateNightTimeRain - Sep 23, 2014 / texasbreed13 - Sep 23, 2014
|The little boy- Stanford Supplement
8 - It will help you demonstrate that you are really serious about this but you will need to tie everything...
Undergraduategodlover - Sep 21, 2014 / admission2012 - Sep 23, 2014
|Since its opening, I have always considered Snow Mountain as a place of comfort; common app essay
Undergraduateasi677 - Sep 14, 2014 / asi677 - Sep 23, 2014
|"Life's a Gas" - this song really affected me in an unsettling way
2 - One nice thing is that the vanishing you mentioned can be considered the only real salvation. Here we are...
Undergraduatelbhux13 - Sep 23, 2014 / EF_Kevin - Sep 23, 2014
|Acidity/ pH Williams Special Supplement Essay:
3 - it's an application essay (Williams Suplement) has nothing to do with IELTS. Please give some ideas to deal with...
UndergraduateRevtZ_hh - Sep 22, 2014 / RevtZ_hh - Sep 23, 2014
|Technology Addiction - University of North Carolina
2 - Dubby, you have created a very interesting essay here. It is a discussion about a theme that is very...
UndergraduateDubby - Sep 22, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 23, 2014
|The computer's world does not show its power until you start to understand it; Collage Application
4 - Sa1na, content wise, the essay is alright. So let's just work on cleaning up the grammar and sentence problems...
Undergraduatesa1na - Sep 21, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 22, 2014
|'being trapped within the confines of anxiety and fear' - UC Personal Statement
3 - foxysogirl, in addition to what Nicole has said, I would like to add that you can also try to...
Undergraduatefoxysoxgirl - Sep 21, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 22, 2014
|'emotion, unlike any other, struck my body like an arrow' - Villanova Essay
2 - I LOVE LOVE LOVE the beginning it completely catches my attention. "My family was in Atlanta visiting the...
Undergraduatelbhux13 - Sep 21, 2014 / Iyeshaferguson - Sep 21, 2014
|"Reflection in the Darkness": Common App Essay
Undergraduatedjgvolt - Sep 18, 2014 / godlover - Sep 21, 2014
|Born into a conservative Indian family of engineers and doctors; SCAD Statement of Purpose
4 - Since SCAD is indeed an art school, I would think taking an artsy approach to your essay would be...
Undergraduatetheroy17 - Sep 21, 2014 / lbhux13 - Sep 21, 2014
|If you created a Flash Seminar, what idea would you explore and why? (UVA)
2 - particularly the worlds that exist within our oceans My family and I were visiting the Georgia Aquarium. As...
Undergraduatelbhux13 - Sep 21, 2014 / theroy17 - Sep 21, 2014
|"Meissner effect" - My world view was mostly shaped by my school - MIT
12 - HI. Sorry for long absence; everyone who checked my essays without feedbacks - please, forgive me m(._.)m. I completely...
Undergraduateironhand - Aug 16, 2014 / ironhand - Sep 21, 2014
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