|Undergraduate [25,738] - page 67 of 429|
|The Transcendence of a Stage - transition from childhood to adulthood
5 - Nobody knew that I (no comma) being a classical piano playerpianistcompletely in a complete different ballpark from modern day...
Undergraduateyazoo - Aug 23, 2014 / dumi - Aug 24, 2014
|How does USD stand out amongst all of the other colleges to which you are applying?
3 - Well, I find your response does not give much solid reasons as to why USD stands out other choices....
UndergraduateIyeshaferguson - Aug 17, 2014 / dumi - Aug 24, 2014
|Supporting statement for exchange semester in Australian university, game technologies
3 - Hi Kevin, thanks first of all for your extensive feedback! Your challenge got me on the right path and...
UndergraduateStevie - Aug 17, 2014 / Stevie - Aug 23, 2014
|My family environment and it's affect on me. They have helped me to become who I am
UndergraduateZunera - Aug 6, 2014 / dumi - Aug 22, 2014
|"PERSPECTIVE" - gazing vacantly into the distance. Place where are you perfectly content.
2 - ... well, I get confused with the latter part of this sentence. Who expected your to be closer...
Undergraduatenassimahmadi - Aug 21, 2014 / dumi - Aug 22, 2014
|Merging both medicine and business; doctor - person you dream of becoming - Syracuse Supp
4 - I dream of being a person that helps to shape the future of health care by merging both medicine...
UndergraduateSteezed12 - Aug 21, 2014 / dumi - Aug 21, 2014
|"I'm just a circle" Common app essay, review desperate!
3 - Thank you! This is my first draft, and I'm glad that without the common wording, things look okay. Do...
Undergraduatelazypanda - Aug 16, 2014 / lazypanda - Aug 21, 2014
|'joining the fire department as an emergency medical technician' - meaningful experience
2 - This is nice essay which appropriate to the prompt. I just do minor corrections. Clearly stated, What kind...
UndergraduateMed - Aug 13, 2014 / SHanafi - Aug 21, 2014
|Common App: The serenity of Blue Lake
NEW - I have always been fascinated by the perseverance of nature, the way the great landmarks of the world seem...
Undergraduatejmilla13 - Aug 20, 2014 / — -
|"Limitless" - experiences or accomplishments that have helped to define me as a person
4 - My experiences, the hardships, the achievements, the highs and lows--they do not define me. I think you should put...
Undergraduatephoebedominique - Aug 10, 2014 / EF_Kevin - Aug 19, 2014
|'I KIND OF JUST WANT TO GO AS FAR AS POSSIBLE!' - MY REASON FOR ATTENDING
2 - I consider myself lucky when it comes to the question, "What do you want to do with your life?"...
UndergraduateIyeshaferguson - Aug 19, 2014 / jmilla13 - Aug 19, 2014
|"fly, crash, repeat" - Common App Essay - The RC Field
2 - This is definitely amazing, and i picked up on your major right away which is great. Comments: Try...
UndergraduateRyanF121 - Aug 17, 2014 / Iyeshaferguson - Aug 19, 2014
|"What, are you kidding? I'd never get in there" - Vassar supplement
2 - Great use of imagery! When reading about places and how the writer views a particular place, getting the imagery...
Undergraduaterobby04321 - Aug 17, 2014 / EF_Sheri - Aug 19, 2014
|A mix between a "central identity" story and "challenging an idea" - Common Application Essay
3 - Thanks for the advice. I definitely agree with your suggestion in terms of deleting the first paragraph, as well...
UndergraduateTh25cc - Aug 16, 2014 / Th25cc - Aug 19, 2014
|Hey Roomie! First things first- peanut butter: Stanford essay
2 - Hi! First, Thanks again for helping me with my essay... Comments: I think this is absolutely hilarious, you...
Undergraduatetdshah1 - Aug 18, 2014 / Iyeshaferguson - Aug 18, 2014
|'I gather some tips on how Hollywood stars talk, act, and present themselves' - MIT essay
2 - Well, after reviewing, I can't say that your first objective has been fulfilled, i think you should spend more...
Undergraduatetdshah1 - Aug 17, 2014 / supreeth97 - Aug 17, 2014
|"My father was a great man, I looked up to him" - Common App Essay 2015
Undergraduatesupreeth97 - Aug 17, 2014 / supreeth97 - Aug 17, 2014
|What is the best piece of advice you have ever received? Why is it important?
2 - There itThis is (remove comma) the most outstanding piece of advice I have ever received. Well,...
Undergraduate2015senior - Aug 16, 2014 / Pahan - Aug 17, 2014
|Raised in a typical American family of four children and divorced parents - cultural backgrounds
3 - There is something blasphemous about a teenager expressing an opinion about an important issue, like affirmative action. : )...
Undergraduatebschaefer - Aug 13, 2014 / EF_Kevin - Aug 14, 2014
|CourtTV / Aspiring Physician / Biology - Upenn supplement
2 - I think it might not be helpful to suppose that the television shows they watched with you expanded...
Undergraduatechocolate108 - Aug 11, 2014 / EF_Kevin - Aug 11, 2014
|'crutial moment to take the right decision' - essay to apply to Ritsumeikan APU in Japan
3 - Thanks a lot for your suggestions. Really appreciated it and trying to edit as per your advice....
UndergraduateAirborne Ranger - Aug 11, 2014 / Airborne Ranger - Aug 11, 2014
|'At a younger age, the idea of me doing well in school was unheard of' - SOP for UT in Austin
2 - My academic history was not something I amwas proud of, yet... Throughout my life I've witnessed my parents...
Undergraduaterjai0972 - Aug 6, 2014 / EF_Susan - Aug 10, 2014
|"Golden Spiral" - challenge a belief or idea
Undergraduateroysar - Aug 10, 2014 / EF_Kevin - Aug 10, 2014
|"Eco-Challenge" - Adventure Racing essay
2 - Sometimes, the people who read these essays are sticklers for grammar. Every grammarian will tell you not to...
Undergraduatebluewaves343 - Aug 7, 2014 / EF_Kevin - Aug 9, 2014
|To tweet or not to tweet?" This is one tough question to answer
2 - This is an interesting piece of writing. The title is a reference to Shakespeare. To be, or not to...
Undergraduateqiao2014 - Aug 6, 2014 / EF_Kevin - Aug 8, 2014
|"I didn't deserve it" - GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT!
UndergraduatePereirar - Aug 4, 2014 / Pereirar - Aug 7, 2014
|"Typhoon Haiyan" - significant experience for ADMU Essay
4 - Definitely not. Just combine them in one paragraph. An introduction is typically presented in one paragraph....
Undergraduatenathaley - Aug 4, 2014 / niesaysi - Aug 7, 2014
|My friends are the people who changed me. My enemies are my motivation.
Undergraduatemostdowpe - Aug 7, 2014 / — -
|Nowadays some professions such as doctors, lawyers... can become very rich. Is it right?
UndergraduateKerryliu - Aug 5, 2014 / florszi - Aug 6, 2014
|I'm just a young woman trying to reach my full potential - UT - Austin Transfer Essay A
Undergraduatehcr_91 - Aug 5, 2014 / izhar - Aug 5, 2014
|For Those Who Can't; accomplishment or event that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood
2 - There is absolutely no feeling that compares <(compares to what? You shouldn't start off with a short sentence, you...
Undergraduatekeellyross - Aug 3, 2014 / cpuissant - Aug 5, 2014
|Creative Spoof - Madison Application Essay
Undergraduatecpuissant - Aug 4, 2014 / Jwala - Aug 4, 2014
|Fun and Pranking Essay -- Caltech
2 - There isn't much to criticize here. This is fabulously written. Two things though. Put some comas in: "From classics...
Undergraduatedjgvolt - Aug 4, 2014 / cpuissant - Aug 4, 2014
|'NOT YET'; any experience or accomplishment that defines me? (College Entrance Essay)
3 - Generally speaking I think you have to mention your own story, do you attend any workshops regarding writing your...
Undergraduatethaaatgirlll - Aug 2, 2014 / EyadBosy - Aug 4, 2014
|"smart" is not enough for people to be successful; SOP for Univ. of Washington - software developer
Undergraduatehuyenluv - Aug 3, 2014 / huyenluv - Aug 3, 2014
|'Helping other is my passion' - Hartwick Supplement - Describe some aspect about yourself
2 - Helping others... overall good read.. You could also start with lines on more broader aspect like I always want...
Undergraduatevc859 - Aug 2, 2014 / sky2586 - Aug 2, 2014
|"As soon as you trust yourself, you will learn how to live" - experiences that defined you
2 - Good Job! I'll just give some suggestions, for example, instead of saying " I give my gratitude to God",...
Undergraduateqwertyddam - Jul 31, 2014 / Gulnar604 - Jul 31, 2014
|'My father introduced me to the C programming language' - SOP UT Austin computer science
Undergraduatethounumber1 - Jul 30, 2014 / niesaysi - Jul 31, 2014
|"CHILD HAUS" - ESSAY FOR ATENEO APPLICATION FORM
UndergraduateyoureGANAmissme - Jul 28, 2014 / Hiruni - Jul 28, 2014
|Who I am ; U of M - My community and place within it
3 - I walk into the temple. I see men in turbans, women in their salwar kameez, a traditional modest ...
Undergraduateasaraan - Jul 15, 2014 / dumi - Jul 27, 2014
|'I'm a control freak' - Common App Essay - "environment where you are content..."
7 - I'm a rising senior this year, so my app isn't due until January of 2015. I'm also an American...
UndergraduateLBM - Jul 23, 2014 / LBM - Jul 25, 2014
|Looking back on your high school years - Essay for Ashoka University
2 - If you don't mind, could you please review this last one as well? Prompt - Mention the fondest...
Undergraduateheythere11 - Jul 20, 2014 / heythere11 - Jul 25, 2014
|Finding about me, if you're interested and have nothing better to do
Undergraduatelouisa216 - Jul 23, 2014 / emonabin - Jul 24, 2014
|'Stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean' - Background / Story Central to Identity
2 - hmmm... you should probably eliminate the sentence fragments especially at the beginning n turn them into sentences. also reduce...
Undergraduatelancelot12 - Jul 22, 2014 / dchege711 - Jul 23, 2014
|"It's nothing but a cult!" - Essay for Ashoka University. Need to cut at least 150 words!
NEW - Prompt - Tell us about your academic journey, your inspirations, hardships and how you have overcome them. 2500 characters....
Undergraduateheythere11 - Jul 23, 2014 / — -
|"edit our profile" essay explaining why you don't wish to complete this assignment
8 - I think you can go with 'My Dad'. Unless the professor has specifically asked you to use third person....
Undergraduatecomet2000 - Aug 28, 2010 / heythere11 - Jul 23, 2014
|'The three major artists and designers' - Two short essays for Art center Pasadena
3 - thanks!...
UndergraduateAlexturt - Jul 22, 2014 / Alexturt - Jul 23, 2014
|What I Want - a lot of things from life; Penn Supp. Essay
Undergraduateshoobidoo27 - Jul 21, 2014 / niesaysi - Jul 22, 2014
|"What do I want to do when I grow up?" - Peace Corps Volunteer App
2 - This was the one question I could never fullygot difficulty to answer. The best answerresponse I have ever...
Undergraduatesarx8172 - Jul 18, 2014 / niesaysi - Jul 22, 2014
|What happens in Hardee's: CommonApp Essay
2 - From school, my twin brother and I stopped at a fast food restaurant. Suddenly, an elderly gentleman with...
Undergraduateswj97 - Jul 20, 2014 / niesaysi - Jul 22, 2014
|automobile enthusiast from childhood; SOP for masters in motorsports engineering
4 - my revised sop...please gimme suggestion if there is any fault present.... Being an automobile enthusiast from childhood, my...
Undergraduatevyasv21 - Jul 14, 2014 / vyasv21 - Jul 21, 2014
|PS - There are two ways to be happy: improve your reality or lower your expectations
Undergraduateseppukkku - Jun 24, 2014 / dumi - Jul 18, 2014
|Convey your interest: visual, theatre, arts, sports, music, gourmet, cooking - UA&P Entrance Essay
2 - You need to search for personal statement formats to get a better idea of how the paper should be...
UndergraduateyoureGANAmissme - Jul 17, 2014 / daylou93 - Jul 17, 2014
|'BIGB Lessons' - Who or what inspires you the most and why? Ashoka University
2 - He played basketball, and a couple of years later, I joined my school's basketball team. He played at...
Undergraduateheythere11 - Jul 16, 2014 / malsackey - Jul 16, 2014
|'Dear Mankato Admissions Board' - Personal statement to Mankato University
Undergraduatemalsackey - Jul 15, 2014 / malsackey - Jul 16, 2014
|UIC Prompt: Giving education a new focus using history.
NEW - This is one of two prompts that an reach up to 32,000 characters. No. Don't worry. I did not...
Undergraduatefoxyh - Jul 15, 2014 / — -
|'I found someone with shared values and motivation' - Honors College App. Essay
4 - When searching for friends or even a soul mate, I believe onetowe should look for someone that holds true...
UndergraduateBellacorrr - Jul 9, 2014 / dumi - Jul 14, 2014
|This accomplishment of mine really made me get to know myself even more.
3 - Every experience that I have had made me a better person and it helped me know myself even morebetter....
Undergraduatecharlene1699 - Jul 12, 2014 / dumi - Jul 14, 2014
|'What do you want to be when you grow up?' - Yale supplementary essay
Undergraduateivyaspirer - Jul 10, 2014 / dumi - Jul 13, 2014
|Amherst Supplementary Essay: stereotyped beliefs; power to dictate who you are
2 - Hi ivyaspirer, In my personal opinion, you're being too direct here. Instead of instantly stating out-of-nowhere that you're...
Undergraduateivyaspirer - Jul 8, 2014 / Ulaai - Jul 13, 2014
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