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|Reasons why you wish to attend APU - STUDYING ABROAD
5 - Being able to live in Asia and still be connected with all types of different cultured people from around...
UndergraduateAnosha29 - May 20, 2014 / Pahan - May 20, 2014
|This is my personal statement prompt 1; My grandfather Lee
5 - Elderly man told us that nine years ago, he hasn'twasn't feeling longelylonely because there arewere more than 500 pieces...
Undergraduatekaitong - May 20, 2014 / Pahan - May 20, 2014
|ready for a new start ~ readmit essay
2 - Having just graduated from high school, I thought I could handle a full 18 hour course load as well...
Undergraduatemustanglove - May 20, 2014 / Pahan - May 20, 2014
|CommonApp: The softening harmony of laughter gives me a state of comfort
3 - This is great feedback :) Hope you pay attention to the points that Didgeridoo has stressed upon. My point...
Undergraduatebrijirowetz - May 18, 2014 / dumi - May 20, 2014
|Common App Transfer - Arriving at Equilibrium (Communications Major)
5 - Thank you so much! It is so uplifting to receive positive feedback. However, I am having difficulty trimming down...
UndergraduateMSKnicks91 - May 12, 2014 / MSKnicks91 - May 19, 2014
|Study Abroad Essay- Study Statement; As a person of French descent...
4 - By experiencing another culture and being placed outside one's comfort zone, studying abroad can allow one to grow as...
Undergraduatecollegebound28 - Mar 29, 2014 / Pahan - May 18, 2014
|UCHICAGO PERSONAL ESSAY - overcoming myself and growth. [COMMENT FOR COMMENT]
2 - My name is name here, and I am a current waitlistwait-listed candidate for Fall 2014 at the University of...
Undergraduatekonaren - May 2, 2014 / dumi - May 18, 2014
|'Dutch - my mother language' - Application Essay for University of Cincinnati
4 - Ever since I had learned the basics of Dutch vocabulary, my mother languagemother tongue, at the age of two;...
Undergraduateveggiebunny - May 11, 2014 / Pahan - May 17, 2014
|Room 209, where I studied Commercial Art and Advertising, was my sanctuary
3 - Well, I find all these things tell more general stuff and nothing specific about you. Your admission guys...
Undergraduatenate297 - May 15, 2014 / Pahan - May 15, 2014
|WHO AM I? 'dream to work as a game developer'
6 - Here some edits: When I am with my friends, I describe myself as an outgoing person if compared to...
Undergraduatemaryjane - May 12, 2014 / eddies - May 12, 2014
|Rutgers Transfer Recommended Acceptance Essay
4 - you could also possibly include why Rutgers will help you pursue your career goals compared to your previous college....
UndergraduateLindaFerraz - May 11, 2014 / collegewoman - May 11, 2014
|APPLYING IN TURKISH UNIVERSITIES, why should I choose turkey?
Undergraduateecneics - May 1, 2014 / maheenatiq - May 11, 2014
|US College application essay. check my essay for mistakes.
4 - I would like to get an Associate in Arts degree in Business major at [US College] for transfer to...
Undergraduateemtnd - Apr 19, 2014 / Pahan - May 10, 2014
|Gracious App - University of Wisconsin / Computer Science
Undergraduatewhatsgoodintern - May 6, 2014 / niesaysi - May 7, 2014
|Personal essay; I completed three years toward a bachelor degree in economics
4 - Thank you for your comment. I mentioned my husband because this is how my story started .He was the...
Undergraduateskalem - May 6, 2014 / skalem - May 6, 2014
|UC Davis waitlist - clinical opportunities I can bring??
3 - UC Davis is my top choice for pursuing undergraduate studies in the field of Biology, as well as dedicating...
Undergraduatenmadjid - May 5, 2014 / Pahan - May 6, 2014
|MIT essay, Boston; 'I do volunteering job in Boston with Arabs for Altruism'
9 - excuse me I think there is something wrong you said " it has became/ becomes part of Department of...
Undergraduatealmawadxp - Mar 29, 2014 / almawadxp - May 3, 2014
|USC PERSONAL ESSAY & SUPPLEMENT; "read my human"
5 - Although you didn't mention the actual prompt of the essay, I think that the syntax and subject matter is...
Undergraduatebobisweird - Mar 30, 2014 / konaren - May 3, 2014
|Reason why I attend APU essays; 'my dream - manager or business related career'
3 - I came to know about Ritsumeikan Asia Pacific University (APU) from my cousin who is currently studying there....
Undergraduatezjkk - Apr 23, 2014 / dumi - May 3, 2014
|Personal Statement Essay for UCAS for a Nursing Degree
UndergraduateSamantha1111 - Apr 28, 2014 / Samantha1111 - May 2, 2014
|SUMMER CAMP ESSAY: Why do you want to attend the summer course?
6 - Thank you guys all. I took into consideration most of your replies, however, I refined it and sent it...
Undergraduateyannis2307 - Apr 22, 2014 / yannis2307 - May 2, 2014
|My teacher want paragraph about a good OR a bad childhood experience i had ,,
UndergraduateMaoon - Apr 7, 2014 / ecneics - May 1, 2014
|Three ways to Transfer to University; study plan, support system, skills network
Undergraduatekrlx1900 - Apr 29, 2014 / Pahan - May 1, 2014
|Personal Statement, MPH Environmental Health
2 - I never knew exactly how my grandmother's experience would ultimately affect me. I think you should use Past Participle...
Undergraduatecurban2009 - Apr 26, 2014 / Daniel_LEE - Apr 26, 2014
|Application Essay 2, Challenged faces and Avid learning; University Singers
Undergraduatetimmy0110 - Mar 28, 2014 / eddies - Apr 22, 2014
|Application Essay 1, Free from Gen Ed requirement
3 - Commitment, confident, initiative, and determination were four qualities that demonstrated leadership. Leadership, defined by the pioneer of Leadership Study...
Undergraduatetimmy0110 - Mar 28, 2014 / eddies - Apr 22, 2014
|UC Davis Appeal Statement; Wild Campus and The Afterglows
6 - I believe that UC Davis can offer me a unique learning experience( What do you mean by the uniqueness?...
Undergraduateapple1123123 - Mar 28, 2014 / eddies - Apr 22, 2014
|Are we preconditioned to prefer certain types of Music? an inquiry essay
5 - WhileI am used to listening toviolent and angry music(a comma)it has now broadened to include calmer/tranquil music. ...
UndergraduateNiaboc - Mar 28, 2014 / eddies - Apr 22, 2014
|"labor experience" - The ProTrack Engineering Co-op program option!
4 - But you as a recent graduated of thefresh graduate /font] university don't have the experience that the employers are...
UndergraduateAndrea1215 - Apr 16, 2014 / dumi - Apr 22, 2014
|The Broken Boy / CommonApp Essay - Background
7 - Amazing essay. Some thoughts: -Watch out for fluffy, meaningless phrases like "a discovery that changed my life forever"...
UndergraduateImClueless - Apr 5, 2014 / Discipulus96 - Apr 21, 2014
|Why I want to attend the Naval Academy Essay
5 - Here are four ways to improve your essay: -Transitions - Your essay is lacking sufficient transitions between sentences and...
UndergraduateUSNAWilson - Apr 10, 2014 / Discipulus96 - Apr 21, 2014
|SOP "The only thing permanent in life is change" Computer Engineering - my major
Undergraduatetotappa - Apr 17, 2014 / Eva Novita Sari - Apr 18, 2014
|Common application - Tinkerbell
6 - So I have another question I used for the attention getter at the beginning "All you need is Faith...
Undergraduatecutestchloe - Sep 24, 2009 / mschreck - Apr 17, 2014
|Hiking is rewarding; University of Washington transfer personal statement
Undergraduateesereadmyessay - Apr 16, 2014 / esereadmyessay - Apr 16, 2014
|PURSUE A BUSINESS DEGREE; A statement addressesing reasons for transfer
2 - Besides my academic goals, this transfer may help me step out from my comfort zone and grow as...
Undergraduateglamiex - Apr 13, 2014 / dumi - Apr 14, 2014
|from a waste to house - replacing cement Portland by waste brick in housing
4 - thank you very much. However I want my writing to be more specific, because mostly, housing problem happens in...
Undergraduatekikiliyik - Apr 13, 2014 / kikiliyik - Apr 13, 2014
|Quick question, Transfer essay: What would be a better word to use for "aspects" ?
5 - With the incredible amount of diversity this school displays, I hope to partake in various social and cultural...
Undergraduateyyhh0211 - Mar 27, 2014 / Pahan - Apr 12, 2014
|Georgia Tech Supplementary Essay; 'build the skills I need to be an Engineer'
4 - Well, these are most of the general stuff that many students say when they answer this question. Take...
UndergraduateGuest - Apr 10, 2014 / Pahan - Apr 12, 2014
|Philosophy essay topic: Heidegger: Dasein, Digi-Sein and Being in The World.
2 - Thesis statement is strong. Love how the body paragraphs have supporting details/evidence to back it up too. Conclusion is...
Undergraduatenikaynik - Apr 7, 2014 / Guest - Apr 10, 2014
|Personal Statement; 'Life is full of challenges'
Undergraduateqaisnaderi - Apr 7, 2014 / dumi - Apr 10, 2014
|Nursing School Application Essay - 'I want to make a difference'
Undergraduatechelseyjean - Mar 26, 2014 / dumi - Apr 10, 2014
|What is your strength and weaknesses? -- "I am always saved by the last minute!"
4 - I am also a good and convincing speaker, as I am able to express myself well. I enjoy delivering...
UndergraduateUlaai - Apr 1, 2014 / Pahan - Apr 9, 2014
|'being a jerk for no apparent reason' I am highly competitive; NCSSM What make you Unique?
Undergraduatelwbecker98 - Dec 25, 2013 / lwbecker98 - Apr 9, 2014
|Penn State Personal Statement about gaming, how it can lead to success at uni.
Undergraduatenikjojo - Apr 7, 2014 / nikjojo - Apr 7, 2014
|university essay admission: A journey towards what I am made of
4 - Overall, you write well. I just have few changes It is through participating MOE teaching internship that( a comma)...
UndergraduateAlexis111 - Mar 27, 2014 / eddies - Apr 5, 2014
|reasons why i choose APU and how i intern to approach my studies
2 - students from nearly 100 countries can share their own culture and ides. Are you meaning "ideas"...
Undergraduatebeka gogeliani - Apr 3, 2014 / BINGBINGLIANG - Apr 3, 2014
|Statement Of Purpose for SCAD for undergraduate degree in Industrial Design
3 - Thanks for your help illustration computer is like graphic design but it's just with computer not hands so in...
UndergraduateMohammad Sadegh - Apr 2, 2014 / Mohammad Sadegh - Apr 2, 2014
|Purdue writing supplement; Great plan of study will be substantial for my career
2 - In my opinion you should elaborate more on your 'life goals'. What are your life goals? After that you...
UndergraduateZackjam1 - Mar 31, 2014 / Ulaai - Apr 1, 2014
|UCF: Burnett Honors College Personal Statement: The Computer Room
2 - You have not mention much about your uncle, it would be more captivating if you emphasize that your uncle...
Undergraduateseanlh - Mar 28, 2014 / sandipsinh - Mar 31, 2014
|APPEAL ESSAY FOR UT - My love for art is defined in my pieces
2 - Include the prompt of the essay so you are easy to have relevant and reliable feedback from other readers....
Undergraduatebecks15 - Mar 30, 2014 / eddies - Mar 30, 2014
|Transfer Essay from Community College; 'Cervial and Breast Cancer study'
3 - I apologize for the meaning of colors (that I should have told you), and some information that I forgot....
Undergraduateunwritten53 - Mar 29, 2014 / sntinn - Mar 29, 2014
|Semester at Sea Application Essay! 'effects of diversity and the sociological perspective'
2 - You repeat the "raising" part couple of times in these two lines and too frequently. I feel you...
Undergraduatemayapettes - Mar 26, 2014 / Pahan - Mar 26, 2014
|Stanford intellectual vitality essay! 'Learning is not a momentary process'
Undergraduateunnatch - Mar 24, 2014 / unnatch - Mar 26, 2014
|NYU Transfer; Fox 11's Good Day LA; 'exploring your academic interests'
4 - I'm loving the way that you tied in the NYU professors. That looks solid and it makes you sound...
Undergraduatexolysssaa - Mar 25, 2014 / judas - Mar 26, 2014
|Home stay program in Japan - My hobbies, culture activities, sporting activities
7 - months can be a plural noun here. Write 'my 18-month homestay program' Faulty Parallelism> Write '...
Undergraduatetienhd1k52 - Mar 7, 2014 / eddies - Mar 26, 2014
|Questbridge College Prep - your community; what would you change and why? 'Segregation'
6 - Could you, please, give more explanation on whom you will send your essay to. I mean another school ?...
UndergraduateSalomeA - Mar 24, 2014 / sntinn - Mar 25, 2014
|Synthesis essay about Teaching English as an International Language
2 - ismailjunaid09 As culture develop with the language usage( Native languages are used to have feel of our culture, it...
Undergraduateismailjunaid09 - Mar 25, 2014 / sandipsinh - Mar 25, 2014
|Discretionary Admission Essay for NUS (LAW); History
2 - Hello, The prompt specifically asks you to talk about ONE thing. You blab on about this and that...
Undergraduatecavalier - Mar 25, 2014 / admission2012 - Mar 25, 2014
|APU application essay: Write the reason(s) why you wish to attend APU.
2 - We all know that every child in the world dreams about his future profession (from his very early times.)...
Undergraduateshaxa95 - Mar 24, 2014 / sandipsinh - Mar 24, 2014
|BYU SOAR PROGRAM ESSAY #1: provide a biographical sketch that highlights experiences..
3 - Thank you so much I have been worrying about my essay. Would you mind looking through my other essay?...
UndergraduateJennaflirt - Mar 22, 2014 / Jennaflirt - Mar 24, 2014
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