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|'Beyond the walls of my safe haven..' Chinatown restaurant - CENTRAL TO IDENTITY
Undergraduatexxnina22796xx - Dec 31, 2013 / cicijolee - Dec 31, 2013
|'I finally got to see the Hogwarts dining hall' - Yale supplement
12 - thenewdude thanks! Do you think you can look over my Upenn essay? And already looked over your lafayette...
Undergraduatecicijolee - Dec 30, 2013 / cicijolee - Dec 31, 2013
|Chinese exchange students - BARNARD SUPPLEMENTS
2 - About your "If I could meet any historical figure essay", The essay is very well done. The only issue...
Undergraduatexxnina22796xx - Dec 31, 2013 / Musicpro - Dec 31, 2013
|The CELLO seemed to be a perfect match for all types of music;Yale
NEW - From the moment I danced my fingers on the fine metallic strings of the cello. In a crowd, group,...
UndergraduateHippocratesx - Dec 31, 2013 / — -
|Penn's course catalog - Why Penn - My chance to research
2 - This essay sounds like you just looked up stuff in their catalogs. ANYONE can write about the colllege. You...
UndergraduateJYClassof2018 - Dec 31, 2013 / Musicpro - Dec 31, 2013
|life is just a game where we can be winners or losers -attribute of personality -MIT essay
8 - The supplement is alright. It seems rushed. You should use more concrete details and elaborate on certain points within...
UndergraduateBuja51 - Dec 29, 2013 / boston1002 - Dec 31, 2013
|Dream China train journey - I want to transfer to MSU - transfer essay.
NEW - Michigan State University recognizes that an assortment of interests, viewpoints, and life experiences are important in student learning and...
Undergraduateseraphliu - Dec 31, 2013 / — -
|bland sandwich - 'to know about you' Yale supplement
14 - sorry, I totally misinterpreted your essay. Well, whatever the meaning is, it is a good essay. I always think...
Undergraduatejohntasker - Dec 29, 2013 / maddigirl - Dec 31, 2013
|Columbia University Short Essays: Lions, Shakespeare, Writing (Oh My).
Undergraduate221aj - Dec 27, 2013 / 221aj - Dec 31, 2013
|The island greets me with a gush of the warm Caribbean air; Perfectly content
2 - Hmm, I would definitely not use "responsibilities" throughout your essay. You come across as sort of lazy and it...
Undergraduategogreaves - Dec 30, 2013 / sammk33 - Dec 31, 2013
|my red school blazer - MIT CHALLENGE ESSAY
Undergraduatequanny - Dec 31, 2013 / quanny - Dec 31, 2013
|Military Service - Background / Central to identity
Undergraduatekhedeeve - Dec 30, 2013 / dorbaruch - Dec 31, 2013
|"We buy your sh#t and sell it back to your for a profit"; St. Olaf - Interim Course
14 - Hey Grace! Thank you for your comments. Yeah, I actually like using those questions, so I think I am...
Undergraduatethenewdude - Dec 27, 2013 / thenewdude - Dec 31, 2013
|'learning by rote the ready-made solutions' Common application essay - dyslexia melons
UndergraduateShilay - Dec 30, 2013 / Shilay - Dec 31, 2013
|EducationUSA advisor in Dubai; MIT essay/ Most significant challenge
5 - I changed the essay, could you give it another look. Thanks in advance! About three months ago, my...
UndergraduateAliTaha - Dec 30, 2013 / AliTaha - Dec 31, 2013
|Lawyer or computer scientist - NYU Supplement for College of the Arts and Sciences!
3 - Thanks so much for the feedback I will definitely make some changes! That makes my essay sound a lot...
Undergraduatescatano81 - Dec 31, 2013 / scatano81 - Dec 31, 2013
|Communicating with customers - SYRACUSE SUPP/ work experience
Undergraduatedeeisawesome - Dec 31, 2013 / Hass95 - Dec 31, 2013
|books/films/newspapers/websites -STANFORD SUPPLEMENT: WHAT MATTERS TO YOU AND SHORT ANSWER
Undergraduatemclark13 - Dec 31, 2013 / Hass95 - Dec 31, 2013
|I have dreamed of working in the aviation industry; Motivation Letter - Exchange program
Undergraduatemhw353 - Dec 30, 2013 / mhw353 - Dec 31, 2013
|My school is unique; Tufts essay: "Let your life speak"
2 - I think that you're on the right track, but maybe you can discuss more about your career goals and...
UndergraduateMrDoodleFace - Dec 31, 2013 / deeisawesome - Dec 31, 2013
|plastic water bottle - BOSTON COLLEGE SUPPLEMENT
Undergraduatemclark13 - Dec 31, 2013 / mclark13 - Dec 31, 2013
|Ones that help Eeyores grow into Tiggers; Tigger or an Eeyore?
Undergraduateswiftyrose - Dec 30, 2013 / marzmarz - Dec 31, 2013
|Affairs of UN member countries - Vanderbilt extracurricular essay! Model UN experiences
2 - Nicely written! Maybe you could add more personal anecdotes about how your MUN experience was unique?...
Undergraduatekgc123 - Dec 30, 2013 / marzmarz - Dec 31, 2013
|The auditorium is dark, but I know they are watching me - FAILURE
Undergraduatecherikka96 - Dec 30, 2013 / rianhawaiian - Dec 31, 2013
|2001: A Space Odyssey - A book that has greatly impacted me. Carnegie Mellon Essay
3 - By saying "the three books" you kind of imply that those three are what you exclusively read all year....
Undergraduaterbuttar14 - Dec 31, 2013 / rianhawaiian - Dec 31, 2013
|SHY BOY; Background/story central to my identity
Undergraduaterianhawaiian - Dec 31, 2013 / rianhawaiian - Dec 31, 2013
|Major in Physics or Mathematics-Statistics; U of Rochester
Undergraduatethekid96 - Dec 27, 2013 / rbuttar14 - Dec 31, 2013
|Diferent Ambition - Harvard Additional Essay REVISIONS
7 - If you somehow change your mind and do want to include this, please fix your tenses! For example, "I...
UndergraduateN_Campbell - Dec 31, 2013 / rianhawaiian - Dec 31, 2013
|Why do we sleep?; Pomona - Title of the class,contents & why chose it/
6 - The class sounds like another science course. I would just restart and think of the most absurd class you...
Undergraduatecicijolee - Dec 30, 2013 / rianhawaiian - Dec 31, 2013
|Being in Shanghai - NYU Prompt #1- NYU's Any Revisions
2 - Your first paragraph with your longings of studying out of state and praising New York makes it seem like...
UndergraduateN_Campbell - Dec 31, 2013 / Kondite - Dec 31, 2013
|Video games make me want to do Engineering. Brown Academic Interest short essay.
2 - Your paragraph is kind of confusing because it gives off the assumption that you have never played video games...
Undergraduateacewashere - Dec 31, 2013 / Kondite - Dec 31, 2013
|This isn't the story of the valedictorian or athletic all-star who made the winning goal.
Undergraduatea_foster - Dec 30, 2013 / AlekaAlika - Dec 31, 2013
|I fell in love with the campus at CMU ; Carnegie Mellon Admissions Essay
Undergraduatehaayounglee - Nov 27, 2013 / haayounglee - Dec 31, 2013
|I am no soccer prodigy; UC Essay
UndergraduateGoonerTH14 - Dec 30, 2013 / cicijolee - Dec 31, 2013
|Education - but most importantly the ability to attain one; What matters & why-Stanford
Undergraduatemlozano11 - Dec 30, 2013 / mlozano11 - Dec 30, 2013
|'routine cardiovascular exercise and a well-balanced diet' Obesity At Large; Health Essay
2 - I think you should take out "tasting bad" in the sentence about cafeteria food because it's unrepeatable to the...
Undergraduatekjstoddard16 - Dec 28, 2013 / boston1002 - Dec 30, 2013
|I saw myself as a snail riding a leaf which drifted in water; Background/ Identity
4 - Overall this is really well written and I think it's fantastic that you were able to communicate your story...
UndergraduateMrDoodleFace - Dec 30, 2013 / mclark13 - Dec 30, 2013
|Activity/Favorite Musical artists/Significant Challenge/ Summer/ Favorite event; STANFORD
NEW - Stanford - Describe an activity: The same way you hold a dollar bill to the light to verify its...
Undergraduateadatiger96 - Dec 30, 2013 / — -
|Brown - Study areas/ Music community/ Why Brown?
Undergraduatecicijolee - Dec 30, 2013 / cicijolee - Dec 30, 2013
|Yale short answers - Philosophy - Physics - woman
UndergraduateShilay - Dec 30, 2013 / Shilay - Dec 30, 2013
|Stanford Supplement Essay- What matters to you, and why? MY BAG
2 - JoseCollege What matters to me? My bag matters to me. Why does my bag matter to me? Simply put,...
UndergraduateJoseCollege - Dec 30, 2013 / calpride - Dec 30, 2013
|'I want to do everything' NYU Supplement - Why I make a good match to NYU/ Gallatin
3 - I really enjoyed reading your essay as I feel like you incorporated a nice personal touch into it. I'm...
Undergraduateash0lex8 - Dec 28, 2013 / haayounglee - Dec 30, 2013
|I've been facing some difficult issues; Yale SUPP
6 - Thanks, it helps a lot! I already wrote my common app essay about my mother disorder and how it...
Undergraduatekekaaas - Dec 29, 2013 / kekaaas - Dec 30, 2013
|Research Group; UPENN / Activities I'd Participate
2 - I can see that your essay is well-written and is without grammatical errors. However, what seems to be missing...
UndergraduateKanyinqt - Dec 29, 2013 / SilverKnight - Dec 30, 2013
|'I'm still not sure..' What matters to you, and why? Wrote about photos and home.
4 - What do others think? Does it give off a vibe that the admissions officers would not want to see?...
Undergraduatecollindching - Dec 30, 2013 / collindching - Dec 30, 2013
|Once I turned seventeen, I was I felt pressured from school; NYU SUP
2 - I would re-read the first sentence, it sounds a bit awkward. "I only really enjoyed the colorful scenes...
Undergraduatenewyorker - Dec 30, 2013 / Hen - Dec 30, 2013
|I love to solve problems; Northwestern Supplement: Why Northwestern?
2 - The essay is short and sweet. You went straight to why you liked each aspect of the school and...
Undergraduatechasetrox - Dec 30, 2013 / Hen - Dec 30, 2013
|Yale speaks to me, I want Yale--- Yale short answer
3 - I like the beginning of the why yale answer. Especially the "I can't hear the words but" part. Though...
UndergraduateOryx97 - Dec 29, 2013 / cicijolee - Dec 30, 2013
|Food/ Baking/ Bioengineering; MIT; Central to Identity/Pleasure activity/ Major
8 - bump!...
Undergraduateplee24 - Dec 27, 2013 / plee24 - Dec 30, 2013
|Stanford Supplemental Essay- What matters to you and why- Toilets
2 - I'm not going to lie; this made me laugh. Seriously, good job with thinking up an unconventional essay topic....
Undergraduatedkhan - Dec 30, 2013 / iamnicholas1 - Dec 30, 2013
|MY WORLD AT THE TOP OF THE HILL; WHY HAMILTON COLLEGE?
3 - I agree with routeman. In order to make this a stronger response, you need to establish what the "hill"...
UndergraduateNabgyamfi - Dec 30, 2013 / iamnicholas1 - Dec 30, 2013
|financial aid workshop - New York University supplement
5 - Oh okay Thank you! Do you think I should cut down on some sentences in the beginning that may...
Undergraduateazmain1217 - Dec 23, 2013 / azmain1217 - Dec 30, 2013
|"Without an Expression"- CENTRAL TO IDENTITY
Undergraduatejleck95 - Dec 30, 2013 / Zackjam1 - Dec 30, 2013
|the daunting challenger - MIT where I come from
NEW - The prompt is "Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town....
UndergraduateBiinary - Dec 30, 2013 / — -
|MADNESS; UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA- FAVORITE WORD.
UndergraduateiPreo - Dec 30, 2013 / iPreo - Dec 30, 2013
|Which version of my "MIT: describe your world" responses is better?
3 - In general, I can see how this situation affected you, but not how it shaped your dreams and aspiration...
Undergraduateplee24 - Dec 29, 2013 / dorbaruch - Dec 30, 2013
|Chemistry, calculus, English - Vanderbilt Supplement Essay
3 - I like the specific example "Cole" but I think you could have used more examples exemplifying this activities importance...
Undergraduatekgc123 - Dec 30, 2013 / jleck95 - Dec 30, 2013
|Bookstore and café - CommonApp Essay (favorite place prompt)
15 - Thank you everyone for looking over my essay! and sorry for the late reply thenewdude: I'll look over...
Undergraduatecicijolee - Dec 26, 2013 / cicijolee - Dec 30, 2013
|Additional Comments Essay: Math has never been my cup of tea
Undergraduatecocamb - Dec 30, 2013 / cocamb - Dec 30, 2013
|My passion for the human body - Johns Hopkins Supplement
Undergraduaterbuttar14 - Dec 30, 2013 / cag18 - Dec 30, 2013
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