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|Japan, American job, and Russian Cinema - Brown
2 - Your first essay is good, but maybe try to incorporate a little more about what you personally will do...
UndergraduateHDMX - Jan 1, 2014 / mclark13 - Jan 1, 2014
|30 Hr Famine- an event that marked my transition from childhood to adulthood- Common App
Undergraduatean_nie - Jan 1, 2014 / maddi - Jan 1, 2014
|bustling streets of NYC - College Supplements: work experience/why vassar?
Undergraduatexxnina22796xx - Dec 31, 2013 / SMINICK975 - Jan 1, 2014
|Common Application: How I Came to Leave the Church through Confirmation Classes
NEW - I can honestly say I found my Confirmation classes to be thought-provoking. However, I cannot say those thoughts were...
UndergraduateJoeyCamposinos - Jan 1, 2014 / — -
|"Hosanna" UVA supplement - What work of music surprised you?
3 - Kondite " it was the revelation to me that the song and lyric itself can do the healing effect,"...
Undergraduatedyl95 - Jan 1, 2014 / dyl95 - Jan 1, 2014
|"Aria and music" UVA College Supplement
3 - yea, replace Pagliacci with the name of the composer/writer. so it would be like ""Vesti La Giubba" by Ruggero...
Undergraduatejleck95 - Jan 1, 2014 / blazerd123 - Jan 1, 2014
|Church Street Marketplace - Barnard and Tufts Supplement, Similar Questions?
3 - I like your essay too. "...no matter where I am." Touching. I suggest that you check again to...
Undergraduateessie88 - Dec 31, 2013 / BachChaconne2 - Jan 1, 2014
|personal ego - Yale Supplement Short Answer
Undergraduatekgc123 - Dec 30, 2013 / aaamonicaaa - Jan 1, 2014
|Stanford roommate (prayer for chocolate) / what matters to you (bandaids and hugs)
4 - thank you so much! and I completely agree with your criticism. And of course I will look at ur...
Undergraduatespark - Dec 31, 2013 / spark - Jan 1, 2014
|"Chess is central to my identity"; UIUC - Get to know you better
3 - Thanks for your help :D I made the changes necessary and made a few other little tweaks and submitted...
Undergraduateakhilles97 - Dec 29, 2013 / akhilles97 - Jan 1, 2014
|the photograph on my piano - Common Application Essay- Story or Background
Undergraduatemaddi - Dec 31, 2013 / an_nie - Jan 1, 2014
|Vanderbilt Question; Sunday School isn't what you imagine it to be.
NEW - Vanderbilt supplement question: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. I have been...
Undergraduateblazerd123 - Jan 1, 2014 / — -
|Growing up with strict immigrant parent; NYU supplement
2 - Try to take out sentences or phrases that aren't completely necessary to your prompt. Ask yourself if you're questioning...
Undergraduatewhathesteph - Jan 1, 2014 / an_nie - Jan 1, 2014
|The creative minds - BARNARD COLLEGE SUPPLEMENT
3 - wow this reeeeaaally needs some work. Your sentences are all over the place, hardly making sense. I used...
Undergraduateana523 - Dec 31, 2013 / hazelhoff - Jan 1, 2014
|Stanford supplements - leave a mark, crying in movies
4 - I love that you used friend actually. I feel like everyone will use adjectives to describe themselves and a...
Undergraduatedorbaruch - Dec 31, 2013 / rianhawaiian - Jan 1, 2014
|God loves me unconditionally - Stanford - What matters to you and why?
Undergraduatekh28698 - Dec 30, 2013 / kh28698 - Jan 1, 2014
|student inspired by Mahatma Gandhi -Electrical Engineer - Johns hopkins Writing supplement
NEW - i m an international student applying for Johns hopkins (only few hours left please help me ) can you...
UndergraduateSciencetransmit - Jan 1, 2014 / — -
|Nepal Journey - DAVIDSON - EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY OR WORK EXPERIENCE
Undergraduateimpatient101 - Dec 31, 2013 / Sciencetransmit - Jan 1, 2014
|A reputable business school and college search - My UPenn/Wharton Essay
UndergraduateSilverKnight - Dec 30, 2013 / Sciencetransmit - Jan 1, 2014
|My UChicago Essay: You are you and your beliefs
3 - I think you have written a good essay. I liked the second part where you gave an example about...
UndergraduateSilverKnight - Dec 31, 2013 / enashley13 - Jan 1, 2014
|Post graduate essay for masters in Public policy: Competencies to be gained at the school
3 - Thank niesaysi for the feedback! I will work on your suggestions. also, is the essay replying the prompt well?...
UndergraduateRiddi - Dec 11, 2013 / Riddi - Jan 1, 2014
|never go sky diving - Why Brown supplement too creative?
Undergraduaterianhawaiian - Dec 31, 2013 / rianhawaiian - Dec 31, 2013
|The CyberPatriot team - FAILURE
2 - Overall its a good essay but just a couple of tweaks would make it even better (Refined Draft Only)...
UndergraduateThe_Geek - Dec 31, 2013 / OccamsRazor - Dec 31, 2013
|Penn Supp - specific academic, service, and/or research opportunities
3 - A lot of your sentences begin with "I." While it is a first person essay, I'm pretty sure that...
Undergraduatecicijolee - Dec 30, 2013 / SilverKnight - Dec 31, 2013
|Orphaned kids in Ethiopia - My Common app Final essay
3 - What about this Out of all of the things that I absolutely detest, waking up early for something...
UndergraduateMikysoulss1 - Dec 31, 2013 / Mikysoulss1 - Dec 31, 2013
|"I thought I was the only one!"- Harvard
UndergraduateN_Campbell - Dec 31, 2013 / quanny - Dec 31, 2013
|'It's hot. My skin is melting.' WILLIAMS COLLEGE AND COLUMBIA U. - what meaningful to you
3 - Thanks!! I had more description with the second one and the car but I thought it was a little...
UndergraduateBilboLinda - Dec 31, 2013 / BilboLinda - Dec 31, 2013
|'cruelty of human nature' Beloved by Toni Morrison - UVA SUPPLEMENT
Undergraduateaaamonicaaa - Dec 31, 2013 / boston1002 - Dec 31, 2013
|The word "yes" has the power to create and change - UVA Word Essay
2 - You can work on making it more intricate so that it flows better in between ideas. Perhaps towards the...
Undergraduateaaamonicaaa - Dec 31, 2013 / Chetan96312 - Dec 31, 2013
|I love economics and Careers In - UofChicago
NEW - Hello guys! I'm new to this, Please take a look at my UofChicago essay for the first writing supplement....
UndergraduateChetan96312 - Dec 31, 2013 / — -
|I am not exactly sure what matters to me; Stanford
8 - I definitely think the starting sentence needs to go. I don't know the word limit but if you have...
Undergraduatedarketernaly - Dec 29, 2013 / Silverfern - Dec 31, 2013
|'My obsession for ankle length socks' Mount Holyoke Supplement - Never Change/ Fear
4 - I liked it! However, I feel like there is definitely room for improvement. I would include more of a...
Undergraduatecantabile - Dec 31, 2013 / aaamonicaaa - Dec 31, 2013
|First-generation Somali-American - STANFORD-WHAT MATTERS TO YOU , AND WHY?
2 - I really like your essay. I can see that you are passionate about your roots and your family. Maybe...
UndergraduateHass95 - Dec 31, 2013 / BilboLinda - Dec 31, 2013
|'has many quirky yet attractive qualities' Yale's Supplements; SHORT QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
2 - the perspectives of ur essay is fresh, and i think it shows ur growth and identity. Good luck for...
Undergraduatebelieveinwaves - Dec 31, 2013 / quanny - Dec 31, 2013
|Chapter in Geography - expanding MIT essay. Critique and commentary.
3 - As for the things I'm passionate about, I've already pretty much covered in other essays. Would the challenges I...
UndergraduateGervin101 - Dec 31, 2013 / Gervin101 - Dec 31, 2013
|'established so long ago(1839)' The mouth watering prospect - why BU is a good fit for you
UndergraduateTaherj725 - Dec 30, 2013 / aaamonicaaa - Dec 31, 2013
|Cluttered life - What matters to you, and why? 250 words or less
2 - Feel free to completely disregard what I say! I think your topic is a little broad and maybe be...
Undergraduate14apatton - Dec 31, 2013 / spark - Dec 31, 2013
|Equarithmophobia - UVA Quirk Essay
3 - The essay is very unique and interesting. It grabbed my from the beginning! However, I think that you...
Undergraduatehgood - Dec 31, 2013 / aaamonicaaa - Dec 31, 2013
|COMMON APP ESSAY - MEDICINE, DEATH, ART, SURGERY
5 - i agree with garmin that u can make the opening more attention-grabbing. maybe less telling. other than that, a...
Undergraduatehazelhoff - Dec 22, 2013 / quanny - Dec 31, 2013
|burning congee - YALE SUP ESSAY
Undergraduatequanny - Dec 31, 2013 / quanny - Dec 31, 2013
|'...brilliance, wit, and passion for the world. Just like me' YALE SUPPLEMENTS
Undergraduatehazelhoff - Dec 28, 2013 / quanny - Dec 31, 2013
|Meliora motto - R.I.T. ( ROCHESTER ) - Describe what's leading you to apply.
2 - I am not really sure if you are an international student or native. But you MUST re-read your essay!...
Undergraduateana523 - Dec 31, 2013 / anvarashurov717 - Dec 31, 2013
|Common App Essay- My Friend Alice (Topic 4) - place or environment
2 - It's a great essay. Interesting read and definitely tells the reader a lot about you. Fantastic job!...
Undergraduatecantabile - Dec 31, 2013 / garmin610 - Dec 31, 2013
|University of Pennsylvania Supplement - "Why you are a good fit for your school choice"
9 - An excellent essay overall but I was thinking providing more structure to the essay through a proper introduction and...
UndergraduateOneiromancer - Dec 25, 2013 / OccamsRazor - Dec 31, 2013
|What do watches have -Bioengineering department -UPENN Supplement: why you are a good fit?
2 - WOW, FEEL safe to submit, it is very detailed and personal. i like ur analogy at the end haha...
Undergraduatearchanimal890 - Dec 31, 2013 / quanny - Dec 31, 2013
|Calling myself a vampire - Common app essay critique
3 - ^Thanks. I noticed some grammatical errors that I am correcting, but can anyone give specific on particular sentences...
Undergraduategarmin610 - Dec 31, 2013 / garmin610 - Dec 31, 2013
|I express myself through my cakes; When Curiosity Led to Baking
10 - I really like how you wrote about something that not a lot of people would think of since wen...
UndergraduateChristianB - Oct 11, 2013 / cocamb - Dec 31, 2013
|I've got a golden ticket! - 'try something new'
2 - ...there was another layer. Curious, I pull a shimmery, gold slip of paper out from under the chocolate...
Undergraduatea_foster - Dec 31, 2013 / hgood - Dec 31, 2013
|Stanford short answer Collabo(societal challenges, and EC activities)
7 - thanks for the help guys, and i appreciate it but, i actually do speak like this. I never once...
UndergraduateHass95 - Dec 30, 2013 / Hass95 - Dec 31, 2013
|'I want to change the world' Politics and Camp Becket - Yale Supplement
3 - I agree with routman, add a little more focus to the future. I really liked the anecdote though, it...
Undergraduategetmeincollege - Dec 31, 2013 / mclark13 - Dec 31, 2013
|'Dora the explorer' - the world you come from; your family, clubs, school, community, city
2 - This is what you have: Every important lessons of my Life I learned from Dora the explorer... I grow...
UndergraduateAlekaAlika - Dec 31, 2013 / 14apatton - Dec 31, 2013
|Critique Stanford Writing Supplements-Intellectual Vitality,Future Roomate,& What Matters
UndergraduateXtalClear - Dec 31, 2013 / XtalClear - Dec 31, 2013
|Claremont McKenna who would you invite to speak at the school essay 300 word limit
2 - Your response is written very well, however it doesn't show who you are but mainly focuses on the speaker....
Undergraduatemsc123123 - Dec 31, 2013 / cocamb - Dec 31, 2013
|'Without technology, I would not be here' MIT Essay- Describe the world you come from
Undergraduatemituser - Dec 31, 2013 / Gervin101 - Dec 31, 2013
|'president of my school's Newzpaper, The Flame' Stanford extra curricular Elaboration.
UndergraduateAkuhah - Dec 29, 2013 / Akuhah - Dec 31, 2013
|"What are you doing? Go away!" Personal statement- Relationship with brother
Undergraduatelilly1218 - Jul 18, 2013 / BachChaconne2 - Dec 31, 2013
|COLUMBIA SUPP ESSAY. Hearts and Not Family
2 - "advice"- advise "art"- "artistic" (?) Overall, the first essay is very well written. I really liked the repetition used...
UndergraduateBilboLinda - Dec 31, 2013 / cantabile - Dec 31, 2013
|Being given 1500 - Transition from Childhood to Adulthood
Undergraduatemaddigirl - Dec 31, 2013 / Akuhah - Dec 31, 2013
|UVA Essay: If you were given funding for a small engineering project, what would you do?
Undergraduatesteak - Dec 31, 2013 / cantabile - Dec 31, 2013
|The Trial; For as long as I can remember, my biggest fear has always been failure.
3 - I think it worked with the prompt. You failed to become a prefect...that would be failure. So yes, I...
UndergraduateAkuhah - Dec 31, 2013 / maddigirl - Dec 31, 2013
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