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|'Leadership is the most appealing characteristic' Need help with revising FSU essay.
Undergraduatepoweraids - Jan 12, 2014 / Est2k - Jan 13, 2014
|Scripps College - Why Scripps? - Graffiti Wall
4 - .... I like the way you begin your answer, this is different from what others begin their answers...
Undergraduatewinginger - Dec 29, 2013 / dumi - Jan 13, 2014
|Michelangelo's Last Judgment; UVA - Work that unsettled me
3 - Michelangelo's masterpiece work, the Last Judgment, is the one that I experience the most unsettling and thought provoking...
Undergraduatestemerson - Dec 19, 2013 / dumi - Jan 13, 2014
|A SHORT STORY STARTING WITH" I felt so excited when I looked at the envelope"IN 120-180 W
Undergraduatemika1998 - Dec 15, 2013 / mika1998 - Jan 13, 2014
|"I am a debater." (Communities Essay) - University of Michigan Essay #1
UndergraduateMyNameIsSlimS - Jan 9, 2014 / dumi - Jan 13, 2014
|Transformed - a decision that serves as a turning point to define the rest of one's life
4 - Hmm... I truly appreciate both of your advice, though the only point I'd beg to differ would be that...
UndergraduateLogophile - Jan 8, 2014 / Logophile - Jan 12, 2014
|Lafayette college - My work experience in my school TV station
3 - Thank you for your advice! Any more suggestion? This essay is really important but I was stuck now....
Undergraduatedorothyoy - Jan 12, 2014 / dorothyoy - Jan 12, 2014
|'beautiful hill town of Darjeeling' - Boarding School essay
2 - I think your first paragraph is good. It sets the scene and time of your essay. However, your second...
UndergraduateKesangla12898 - Jan 9, 2014 / travisl - Jan 12, 2014
|'I'm 13 years old, Grade 8 Student' The Path to My Future -TOPIC OF YOUR CHOICE
2 - dont use abbreviation like isn't in your essay, you should put the complete words like is not....
Undergraduateisoe - Jan 10, 2014 / Qammer - Jan 12, 2014
|Our greatest glory is not in never falling,but in rising every time we fall;Virginia Tech
NEW - Hi this is my first post to the forum because Im currently filling out college applications and would like...
UndergraduateEnzo11 - Jan 12, 2014 / — -
|Undergraduate Essay: Topic- change from childhood to adulthood - Moving states
2 - Not to be brash, but how is this a transformation into adulthood? This is a super common story. Hundreds...
Undergraduatemadisonjz12 - Jan 10, 2014 / admission2012 - Jan 12, 2014
|The Mountains Of Nepal- Common App Essay- Environment where you are perfectly content
Undergraduateazogthorin - Jan 11, 2014 / dorothyoy - Jan 12, 2014
|Franklin & Marshall -Who is a Diplomat to you? 'I and my colleagues'
Undergraduatezadocky - Dec 29, 2013 / kathmandu123 - Jan 12, 2014
|I will never feel lonely; Why Carleton ?
3 - Your essay does not really answer the question. You need to talk about what is it about Carleton that...
UndergraduateLiangWu - Jan 11, 2014 / Jinglejingle - Jan 12, 2014
|Common App: ~My dog-eared volume of yellowing papers holds my adventure in life
3 - Thank you! Other than choppy transitions, did my essay's meaning make sense? Also, do I ever sound pretentious? Thanks...
Undergraduateelizabethan998 - Jan 5, 2014 / elizabethan998 - Jan 12, 2014
|'Mom was born in a small village in China' Common Application Personal Statement
UndergraduateHanaEJ - Jan 11, 2014 / — -
|No child can survive on their own without their parents;childhood into adulthood
Undergraduatedsullivan7 - Jan 8, 2014 / dumi - Jan 11, 2014
|Research, CMB/BME, Diversity (Why UofM?) - University of Michigan Essay #2
4 - I agree with twinkinstar. Also when you begin with "while we know so much about it" it better...
UndergraduateMyNameIsSlimS - Jan 8, 2014 / dumi - Jan 10, 2014
|Cornell's CAS Supplement - your current intellectual interests
8 - Thanks! I'll try and incorporate your suggestions. I will review your essay in a little bit; just pulled an...
Undergraduatethenewdude - Jan 9, 2014 / thenewdude - Jan 10, 2014
|"What is it like being a triplet?" REVIEW MY COMMON APP ESSAY! What should I change?
2 - Personally I feel you have a strong essay. I'm not a triplet but I have friends who are twins...
Undergraduatebellbros - Jan 10, 2014 / ravenleighann - Jan 10, 2014
|My hardwork & dedication doesn't receive enough credit;UW Madison-Something goes unnoticed
2 - Sorry I just skimmed this but I really feel you should vary your sentence structure. I see a lot...
Undergraduatechelseascheu - Jan 8, 2014 / Logophile - Jan 10, 2014
|'Grade 8, obstacle race, lineup!' ; Common App essay on failure
Undergraduatecitylights - Jan 9, 2014 / citylights - Jan 10, 2014
|Student from East Asia, Statement of Purpose
2 - With his efforts, numerous product lines were created; those product lines produced things... The unique experience makes me believe...
UndergraduateMichealty94 - Jan 7, 2014 / niesaysi - Jan 10, 2014
|Economics interest + how to pursue at USC--USC supplement
5 - LiangWu Hey! Yeah, when I read it again, I realized that you had in fact talked about USC extensively...
UndergraduateLiangWu - Jan 9, 2014 / thenewdude - Jan 10, 2014
|'I want to develop Apparatus' CCNY app - Grove School
Undergraduateyuankevin123 - Jan 7, 2014 / Utau4928 - Jan 9, 2014
|Writing, music, film... - influence on person I became. Virginia Tech Applicant Statement
2 - I think that slash (/) should not be used in formal writing. Focus on your goal and objective...
UndergraduateOptimist - Jan 7, 2014 / Utau4928 - Jan 9, 2014
|Cornell Suppliment - Physics, Philosophy, Experimental Theatre
UndergraduateShilay - Jan 9, 2014 / Utau4928 - Jan 9, 2014
|'As a student of Corning East High School' Georgia Tech Essay - Contribution to community
3 - Thank you so much!! And yeah I wanted to talk about their research programs and dance teams too, but...
Undergraduatesunny0122 - Jan 9, 2014 / sunny0122 - Jan 9, 2014
|McCormick School of Engineering's NORTHWESTERN SUPPLEMENT: UNIQUE QUALITIES
7 - I agree with MyNameIsSlimS that that fragment is too generic, especially when the rest of you essay is very...
UndergraduateKristoria - Jan 7, 2014 / Shilay - Jan 9, 2014
|Have been taking an ESL course - GAP ESSAY
Undergraduatefiftyskye - Jan 7, 2014 / fiftyskye - Jan 9, 2014
|"Reporting like Ron"; Pepperdine Suppl
4 - I think you answered the prompt very well! I really love the originality and creativity of your answer! I'm...
UndergraduateHen - Jan 5, 2014 / MyNameIsSlimS - Jan 9, 2014
|'innate curiosity of mine' NC State statement about major choice
6 - I took out household tools and electronics in order to save space as this is exactly 500 characters. Is...
Undergraduatesokomov - Jan 8, 2014 / sokomov - Jan 9, 2014
|FRANKLIN AND MARSHALL SUPPLEMENT..LEARNING BY DOING !! NEED HELP
2 - I will be able to change this for creating [to create ] a more sustainable environment. I will...
Undergraduateimpatient101 - Jan 9, 2014 / grey_form - Jan 9, 2014
|"The Bull Within Me" - UC Prompt #2
4 - plee24, thank you so much for your advice, it's invaluable. I will make the changes you provided, and also...
UndergraduateGokuKetchum - Nov 28, 2013 / GokuKetchum - Jan 9, 2014
|HARD DECISION; U of M Common App Transfer and Community Essay.
2 - As the year continued, I realized that staying home may not have been the best choice after all. ---...
Undergraduaterainswor - Jan 6, 2014 / matsumelrose - Jan 9, 2014
|'not 2+2=4 but 4=2+2' Cornell Supplement- Why Biology for College of Arts and Sciences
3 - You have really good ideas in the essay and it does flow nicely. I saw you were missing words....
Undergraduatebg32 - Jan 8, 2014 / kesangla - Jan 9, 2014
|'Everyone has great potentialities' 200 words significant challenge - Appl. of univerisity
UndergraduateMisska - Jan 9, 2014 / Pahan - Jan 9, 2014
|Bryn Mawr Supplement - "I don't want to go to college."
6 - 9muses Hey. Could you please tell me what is the word limits for both the Bryn Mawr supplements?...
Undergraduate9muses - Dec 20, 2013 / citylights - Jan 9, 2014
|Jerry, I said I wanted to learn how to play keyboard;MSU-Describe a significant experience
Undergraduateim4 - Jan 8, 2014 / im4 - Jan 9, 2014
|Lehigh supplementary essay - Freedom of expression
2 - I enjoyed your essay. The only thing I would note is the conclusion, try to refrain from the word...
UndergraduateGviper3101 - Jan 6, 2014 / bg32 - Jan 8, 2014
|Essay about struggle to fit in a new place and my experience with bullying (help)
3 - ur essay tells the reader about a girl who's bullied n comes out of the unpleasant experience wiser n...
Undergraduateanimecomics - Jan 7, 2014 / twinkinstar - Jan 8, 2014
|'Sitting in my first conference I was nervous.' Common App Essay: on Failure
Undergraduatekuhrect - Jan 8, 2014 / Kristoria - Jan 8, 2014
|Cornell Engineering: Brain Research, Chem/BioM
2 - Here are some corrections: The human brain has one hundred billion neurons, each connected to thousands of others which...
Undergraduateancoraimparo - Jan 7, 2014 / chelseascheu - Jan 8, 2014
|Why Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering? contribute to national development
3 - Are you talking about the scene at the exhibition or something else? Not very clear :( You are...
UndergraduateUlaai - Jan 4, 2014 / dumi - Jan 8, 2014
|'my mom is my hero' CommonApp essay Prompt # 1 - Central background and Identity
7 - Thanks for your opinion niesaysi. By the way, do you think I have been able to show enough of...
Undergraduateelectrolyte - Jan 5, 2014 / electrolyte - Jan 7, 2014
|American Muslim - Rutgers Diversity
Undergraduatetheshdw - Jan 2, 2014 / dumi - Jan 7, 2014
|Muslim pray to Jesus. I have chosen to study in the United States - Essey
2 - I have a few admin requests for you - First, you should have a meaningful title in the subject...
Undergraduaterouteman - Dec 31, 2013 / dumi - Jan 7, 2014
|'When I was eight, I found my safe haven' Playing Volleyball; Columbia - Single Activity
4 - Well, I think you have not answered the prompt well.... You keep telling about your passion about volleyball, but...
Undergraduatechelles - Dec 31, 2013 / dumi - Jan 7, 2014
|The day I turned fourteen; UC boulder admission
Undergraduatejamman2k75 - Jan 6, 2014 / — -
|I had moved to Hawaii from China..Essay about a powerful event in my life and its effects.
Undergraduaterandomtricks - Jan 5, 2014 / jamman2k75 - Jan 6, 2014
|Event and life experience that has had the greatest influence in shaping my character
3 - Quick revisions here (colored): I have realized that there are certain factors that have Drawing inspiration from factors such...
UndergraduateChigozie - Jan 3, 2014 / Cascara - Jan 6, 2014
|"Personal Connections: Architecture and Campus Landmarks" - GWU Supplementary Essay
UndergraduateCascara - Jan 3, 2014 / Cascara - Jan 6, 2014
|'new millennium entrepreneur' Career goals and a community and professional impact, ABD
3 - I like your rich vocabulary :) ____________________________________________________ This legacy entails achieving, working in a desired career path and...
UndergraduateChigozie - Jan 3, 2014 / Cascara - Jan 6, 2014
|"Try not to become a man of success, but a man of value"; Attribute of Personality-MIT
NEW - Please give any feedback you may have, negative or positive, about the essay! If you want me to check...
Undergraduateaof_khristophor - Jan 6, 2014 / — -
|'This is my journey..' Recovering addict that has built a successful life - transfer essay
4 - I really appreciate your thoughts and critiques. I know this topic is number one on the "do not mention"...
Undergraduateflcdn5454 - Jan 3, 2014 / flcdn5454 - Jan 6, 2014
|'I always knew... what I wanted to do...' Motivation Letter for Research Summer School
Undergraduatemancho - Jan 5, 2014 / Cavinstrivehard - Jan 6, 2014
|'Stellar celebrities...' Common Application Essay Prompt 5: Behind The Beauty
NEW - I am an international applicant so I REALLY need help on this essay. Please feel free to critique this...
Undergraduateiamalice - Jan 6, 2014 / — -
|Cornell will be absolutely amazing; Cornell Arts and Science
4 - It is way too general. The idea behind your essay is nicely personal and already gives a little sampling...
Undergraduatereluctantmuggle - Dec 19, 2013 / OMGreeny - Jan 6, 2014
|Want to get into the Soccer team; My Queens Personal Essay
Undergraduateaseru - Jan 5, 2014 / SreeSam - Jan 6, 2014
|I can picture myself doing things I love; Why Tufts Essay
4 - doing anything? or doing things you longed for? Tufts University is a place that I can picture myself...
Undergraduatemadroved - Dec 29, 2013 / dumi - Jan 6, 2014
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