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|I was drawn towards the University of Waterloo for 2 main reasons.
3 - @TJLuschen Thanks for your correction on some of my mistakes in the paragraph. I've done a renovation of said...
Undergraduateiccuwagn - Mar 11, 2018 / iccuwagn - Mar 17, 2018
|My childhood and overseas experiences - self introduction for exchange program
2 - Hi, I think for your conclusion you need to tie these experiences into how this new program will help...
Undergraduateji young lee - Mar 13, 2018 / TJLuschen - Mar 16, 2018
|Drawing - my one constant love. SCAD statement of purpose (sequential art major)
2 - Gabi, this is a pretty good WIP. You may want to consider explaining why you took some courses twice...
Undergraduatestrop - Mar 5, 2018 / Holt - Mar 10, 2018
|THIS IS ESSAY ABOUT ME, AND FOR MY ASSIGMENT
Undergraduatenabilana26 - Mar 7, 2018 / nabilana26 - Mar 8, 2018
|'intellectual tenacity' - Transfer College Essay for UW-Madison
2 - Ian, for an essay with a title like "Intellectual Tenacity" , there was very little discussion of how you...
Undergraduateiankonradjohnson - Feb 27, 2018 / Holt - Mar 1, 2018
|University of Miami transfer objectives essay - my reasons for choosing UM and the major psychology
2 - Selin, your essay fails you where you require it the most. That is, in the academic reason for your...
Undergraduateselintanriverdi - Feb 26, 2018 / Holt - Mar 1, 2018
|My road to computer science. Motivation Letter for Undergraduate Degree - Applied Computer Science
Undergraduateangelasky - Feb 25, 2018 / Holt - Feb 28, 2018
|The meaning of life. Need Opinions on my personal statement for pace !
4 - The meaning of life: Since the beginning of times, humans are wondered about the meaning of their existence. Many...
Undergraduatejbright234 - Feb 23, 2018 / Unadelllano - Feb 24, 2018
|Hook em' Horns! Statement of Purpose - transfer into UT Austin essay
3 - Max, don't open the essay with a reference to a young age. Simply indicate that you grew up in...
Undergraduatemaxiemuss - Feb 21, 2018 / Holt - Feb 22, 2018
|Tell me about yourself (family, hobbies, dreams, strongest and weakest points)
5 - I do many things for entertainment such as playing games, reading books, listening to music,and so on. However, but...
UndergraduateGia Huy Cao - Jan 24, 2018 / Ulfaidrus_flip - Feb 16, 2018
|Queen's Commerce: Most important lesson you learned from a mistake you have made? (300 words)
2 - Chenlei, the first sentence is a throw away. It is not necessary to create a prompt restatement in this...
Undergraduatemorninghana - Feb 15, 2018 / Holt - Feb 15, 2018
|Personal statement Application for Physiotherapy - an achievement or lesson lerned
2 - Vikhram, simply getting an invitation to join this society is not an academic achievement. An academic achievement is either...
Undergraduatevik0905 - Feb 13, 2018 / Holt - Feb 14, 2018
|"Magic tricks" inspiration - Stanford (intellectually engaging idea)
2 - @Demyann I would not consider this particular activity an intellectually engaging idea. This veers more into the area of...
UndergraduateDemyan - Feb 12, 2018 / Holt - Feb 13, 2018
|I am the last of 6 siblings who went to college. This is dream my transfer essay
3 - Be careful of trying too hard to make your essay a full feature-length film of your life. The best...
UndergraduateJzuniga - Feb 4, 2018 / Moony2136 - Feb 9, 2018
|UT Austin Transfer Essay A (Apply Texas) - Help on statement of purpose (Theatre Major)
3 - Ben, I think your essay is coming along well. I think, as far as organization goes, you could...
Undergraduatebenglassy - Feb 9, 2018 / Moony2136 - Feb 9, 2018
|Yale Young Global Scholars - Essay titled "The Cry For Justice"
UndergraduateBremners - Feb 4, 2018 / Bremners - Feb 5, 2018
|Waterloo AIF - Goals and interests in the Global Business and Digital Arts
3 - Joshua, in the first question, remove the reference to "attorney, though". Use a period after attorney and then begin...
Undergraduatemilk - Feb 3, 2018 / Holt - Feb 4, 2018
|Choose one of the communities to which you belong, describe that community and your place within it
3 - Like Holt said, your initial question of "why the hell am I here" wasn't actually answered by the rest...
Undergraduatefads - Jan 31, 2018 / milk - Feb 3, 2018
|Previous academic experiences and explanation for desire to transfer to Maryland
4 - Hello!! Like it's said above, there are many grammatical errors. So, I would suggest you go through it...
Undergraduateisaacabe - Jan 30, 2018 / DoctorWho - Jan 31, 2018
|A new flyover. Common App Essay - Undergrad Transfer
2 - Fahad, paragraph 4 which deals with your criteria for choosing a university is misplaced in this essay. After all,...
Undergraduatefadddy - Jan 30, 2018 / Holt - Jan 31, 2018
|Dental hygiene application essay brainstorming
Undergraduatefluffymissy - Jan 30, 2018 / fluffymissy - Jan 30, 2018
|Something you might not know about me: essay topic for college of Maryland
3 - thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it. You must start a new topic for a new essay (useless comments...
Undergraduateapply18 - Jan 24, 2018 / apply18 - Jan 26, 2018
|Undergraduate Application for Physiotherapy Personal Statement
2 - Vikhram, your essay contains too much unnecessary information. Your response should focus directly on the questions provided since this...
Undergraduatevik0905 - Jan 25, 2018 / Holt - Jan 25, 2018
|Briefly describe a time that your efforts have fallen short or a goal was not accomplished
3 - I see where you're coming from. I've been trying to think of another topic and been really struggling with...
UndergraduateTdkohlert - Jan 24, 2018 / Tdkohlert - Jan 24, 2018
|UIUC transfer essay - Computer Science - goals fulfilled in the intended program of study
2 - Fahad, start your essay from the current second paragraph. Since this is a word limited essay, you need to...
Undergraduatefshaikh - Jan 21, 2018 / Holt - Jan 21, 2018
|SUPPLEMENTAL APPLICATION ENTRANCE ESSAY ON POLARITY
UndergraduateSalena - Jan 19, 2018 / Holt - Jan 20, 2018
|business as a lucrative idea Umich essay- Unique qualities
4 - Kene, I was granted special permission to come back and give you advice for the correct prompt as you...
Undergraduatedaredevil - Jan 17, 2018 / Holt - Jan 18, 2018
|My Alcoholic Father - College admissions Essay
Undergraduatemthao007 - Jan 18, 2018 / Holt - Jan 18, 2018
|Information form (AIF) - University of Waterloo - Reasons/interest/goals
2 - Jelany, when the statement is this limited in character count, the reviewer expects you to deliver the direct responses...
UndergraduateMoomin - Jan 17, 2018 / Holt - Jan 18, 2018
|Where is Waldo question for UChicago's application process
3 - Sorry for the extremely belated response. Thank you for your corrections! I see your point. Unfortunately, however, I...
Undergraduatesmaa - Jan 7, 2018 / smaa - Jan 17, 2018
|My ability to quietly influence others. UBC Personal Profile Question
3 - hai sagedragon, overall when I read your writing, it is closely related to your hobby not personal description...
Undergraduatesagedragon - Jan 15, 2018 / agustina - Jan 17, 2018
|UBC Personal profile "Tell us about who you are" & "What is important you? and why?
3 - hai Premal, let's improve together.... here I find some gramatical errors let me show you 1. My goal...
UndergraduatePremal - Jan 14, 2018 / agustina - Jan 17, 2018
|I was taught to accept life-changing situations with open arms - 'understanding of yourself' essay
Undergraduateaapear - Jan 16, 2018 / Holt - Jan 16, 2018
|State why you wish to leave your present college and attend Virginia Tech
2 - vincent, you are not presenting compelling reasons for your transfer to Virginia Tech. It sounds more like you are...
Undergraduatevvo22181 - Jan 15, 2018 / Holt - Jan 16, 2018
|In your personal statement include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why
Undergraduateadottde - Jan 15, 2018 / segun2700 - Jan 15, 2018
|UBC Personal Statement - What I have learnt about myself as a leader and a team member ............
2 - Jaanvi, before you can polish the grammar of this essay, you first need to make sure that your content...
Undergraduatechoco2503 - Jan 15, 2018 / Holt - Jan 15, 2018
|UBC personal profile - I surprise people - answer for the 'Tell us about who you are question'
Undergraduatearsingh - Jan 15, 2018 / arsingh - Jan 15, 2018
|I'm a persistent and hardworking individual. UBC Undergraduate Applications / Personal Profile
2 - Kaili, you can use a collective statement to respond to this essay because each member of the specific community...
Undergraduatekaili013 - Jan 14, 2018 / Holt - Jan 15, 2018
|Explains why you chose your program of study-What interests you the most about this major?-UIC essay
3 - Jaanvi, one of the major reasons that an applicant loses his slot as a potential student candidate is when...
Undergraduatechoco2503 - Jan 14, 2018 / Holt - Jan 14, 2018
|Sharing a religious, cutural or family tradition - Colgate Prompt Short 250 word Essay
Undergraduatezer0leet - Jan 14, 2018 / zer0leet - Jan 14, 2018
|UK Personal Statement - Business Management; a degree from Britain will assist me in future career
2 - Jaanvi, please review your essay for accuracy. If your father worked at the age of 16 in order to...
Undergraduatechoco2503 - Jan 14, 2018 / Holt - Jan 14, 2018
|Common App Essay - The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter
3 - @Holt In all honesty, I don't see the point of the first option you've offered, as you've made it...
UndergraduateDebsYehs - Jan 9, 2018 / DebsYehs - Jan 14, 2018
|These are the reasons why I am willing to go to Japan (Cover letter)
3 - Hieu, in an application letter, you never brag about your credentials as being something that will get you the...
Undergraduatelmhieu1108 - Jan 12, 2018 / Holt - Jan 13, 2018
|This has a value for me: memories, those good or bad
2 - Maude, your response is not accurate. If you had narrated the incident that happened which bonded you to your...
Undergraduatestudent555 - Jan 12, 2018 / Holt - Jan 12, 2018
|"You cannot achieve success without failure." UBC personal profile
2 - Jason, you only responded to the part of the prompt that asks about what you are proud of about...
Undergraduatenosajwu - Jan 12, 2018 / Holt - Jan 12, 2018
|Applying to nursing school, BSN
3 - Thank you for your feedback, I was able to remove a few redundancy and unnecessary facts you have suggested....
Undergraduatetnt80 - Oct 21, 2017 / tnt80 - Jan 12, 2018
|This is an essay for the Common App, and I have chosen the free topic. Any comments are welcomed.
UndergraduateBishal513 - Jan 11, 2018 / Bishal513 - Jan 11, 2018
|What my strengths and weaknesses are on writing and communication
3 - Jenny, when you respond to strengths and weaknesses prompts, always start off with your weakness so that you can...
Undergraduatecallstarzf - Jan 10, 2018 / Holt - Jan 11, 2018
|Common App Essay: Open-mindedness and Christianity
UndergraduateUltimaWeapon - Jan 1, 2018 / KhushbooVohra - Jan 10, 2018
|What I learned working as a waitress
Undergraduatecmzaz - Jan 1, 2018 / KhushbooVohra - Jan 10, 2018
|SCAD Fashion Marketing and Management Statement of Purpose
2 - Normaris, you only described your personal experience and interest in fashion and design in this essay. There is no...
Undergraduatenomodomo - Jan 10, 2018 / Holt - Jan 10, 2018
|I've got a ticket in my hand. So, I can go anywhere? My choice would be Madagascar.
2 - Markus, surely you can be more adventurous than this. If Madagascar is so special to you then you should...
Undergraduatemarkus12345 - Jan 9, 2018 / Holt - Jan 9, 2018
|The most important thing to me is being able to spend time with my family. UBC essay
3 - Aaron, using your family as a reference to what is important to you is incomplete. It is not your...
UndergraduateAaronTran - Jan 9, 2018 / Holt - Jan 9, 2018
|UBC Personal Profile. Explain the role you played and what you learned in the process.
3 - Warisha, you should try to avoid duplicating information that you have already stated in a previous response to a...
UndergraduateWarisha - Jan 8, 2018 / Holt - Jan 9, 2018
|Short essay on one page statment about something awsome.
3 - guan, the main problem with this short essay is that you are showing a lack of control over sentence...
Undergraduatemickeyguan - Jan 8, 2018 / Holt - Jan 9, 2018
|UBC Personal Profile: Explain How You Responded To A Problem
Undergraduateyounmass - Jan 7, 2018 / younmass - Jan 8, 2018
|"Stan... is something else" - UBC Personal Profile : Describing myself
2 - Stanslous, your second sentence is a run on. It is also too long. Divide that presentation into 2 sentences...
UndergraduateStan_a - Jan 6, 2018 / Holt - Jan 7, 2018
|Lafayette's rigorous economics program emphasizing on the global contemporary issues attracts me.
2 - Hien, do not close this essay with a question. Are you seriously expecting the reviewer to respond to you?...
UndergraduateMrsOng - Jan 6, 2018 / Holt - Jan 7, 2018
|Lafayette College Supplement: Why Lafayette?
4 - Here are some of my suggestions. You should not tell Lafayette wasn't the first school you researched. This will...
Undergraduateinesanleu - Jan 6, 2018 / MrsOng - Jan 6, 2018
|UBC Personal Profile: Tell us about who you are?
2 - Warisha, this is a very uninteresting essay because you practically approached it from a bullets presentation in a question...
UndergraduateWarisha - Jan 6, 2018 / Holt - Jan 6, 2018
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