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|Identify one piece in your portfolio that you are most passionate about, tell us the story behind it
2 - Hannah, every painting has a story. The Mona Lisa depicts the story of a shy woman with a beautiful...
Undergraduatech15hann - Dec 11, 2018 / Holt - Dec 12, 2018
|A time, in or outside the classroom, when you worked with others and what you learned from this
3 - Momina, the first thing I would change about the referencing in this essay is the way that you always...
Undergraduatemominanaveed - Dec 11, 2018 / Holt - Dec 12, 2018
|I am answering the why NYU Abu Dhabi question. Will it catch the attention of the admissions officer
3 - Your essay is commendable. However, there are a few things that you can improve. Firstly, you have discussed more...
Undergraduatebilis - Dec 4, 2018 / mbk7162 - Dec 11, 2018
|Personal Statement for Undergraduate Program in Computer Science
2 - Mohammed, the essay works but could be improved. The last part about the choice of university, makes this decision...
Undergraduateanon123 - Dec 10, 2018 / Holt - Dec 11, 2018
|What are your artistic interests/goals? Advice on CalArts artist statements.
3 - Thank you so much!! I really appreciate your help :) Yea, I was just trying to throw everything I...
Undergraduatech15hann - Dec 10, 2018 / ch15hann - Dec 10, 2018
|Bakery and recipes - WASHU SUPPLEMENTAL ESSAY
4 - The Anecdote at the beginning is great. But you don't have to include art in this essay. Write about...
Undergraduatech15hann - Dec 7, 2018 / Tendekai - Dec 9, 2018
|They say that I'm the one who does crazy stuff with Electricity; Tell us about who you are essay
2 - Oops! Nischay, you were off to a good start till you got to the part after your friend's description...
UndergraduateNishantfizz - Dec 8, 2018 / Holt - Dec 9, 2018
|Common application essay - When that Eisenbahn hit me
UndergraduateCabradasbrisa - Dec 8, 2018 / Cabradasbrisa - Dec 8, 2018
|GWU Supplement Prompt 1 - how would you change the course of history?
2 - Lelya, since the prompt indicates that the student of GWU interact with policy makers and world leaders, the aim...
Undergraduateleylamagsud - Dec 7, 2018 / Holt - Dec 8, 2018
|Science excites me and l aspire more: to learn and to create as what my own childhood taught me
2 - overall, great essay talking about how toys lead you into a science field. Some things I would fix is...
UndergraduateTendekai - Dec 3, 2018 / ch15hann - Dec 7, 2018
|All the typical hopes and expectations, of being a studious person, were placed on me
3 - Sailesh, the essay is good overall, but it doesn't answer the prompt question. Also, you mostly focus on talking...
Undergraduatesailesh - Dec 2, 2018 / leylamagsud - Dec 7, 2018
|"Don't screw up your life like she did." College App Essay for Ivy leagues
UndergraduateMia2000 - Dec 4, 2018 / leylamagsud - Dec 7, 2018
|To spend a study semester in the USA - Global Undergraduate exchange program essay
2 - Yaroslav, not all of the information in this essay can be used for the prompt requirement. Let me point...
UndergraduateMonsieurNN - Dec 6, 2018 / Holt - Dec 7, 2018
|Thermodynamics class - Brown ESSAYS
2 - Alexandra, you are not directly responding to the prompt. The reviewer could care less about the stem class taught...
Undergraduatealex42 - Dec 6, 2018 / Holt - Dec 7, 2018
|I am the only teenager in my community who thinks something different unlike others. Essay about me.
3 - Supantha, it is important that you understand what the prompt requirements are and how to deliver it. For this...
UndergraduateSupantha - Dec 6, 2018 / Holt - Dec 7, 2018
|Colgate Supplemental (3 words your friend would use to describe you)
2 - Leyla, never deviate from the prompt instructions regardless of how useless you think the instructions are. You are being...
Undergraduateleylamagsud - Dec 5, 2018 / Holt - Dec 6, 2018
|Common app Personal essay- recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure.
4 - ... in caps, and black hooded... (remove and) I felt butterflies in my stomach - you could also change...
Undergraduatearnoldb - Nov 21, 2018 / leylamagsud - Dec 5, 2018
|Johns Hopkins Essay - Collaboration with others, including peers, mentors, and professors
3 - Hi Arnold! I really enjoyed reading your essay, I think it is written really well. Seeing that you are...
Undergraduatearnoldb - Nov 28, 2018 / leylamagsud - Dec 5, 2018
|A never-ending pile of whys. I am applying to some top universities.
2 - HI Leyla, your essay is very engaging. It is a presentation of a life of understanding, realization, and learning....
Undergraduateleylamagsud - Dec 3, 2018 / Holt - Dec 4, 2018
|Assistant Coach - UBC short answer - an activity
2 - Emma, the presentation is a bit scattered. I would divide this presentation into 2 paragraphs. The first paragraph would...
Undergraduateemilydavis - Dec 2, 2018 / Holt - Dec 3, 2018
|Achievement Supplement for CWRU - we are interested in hearing more about you.
2 - Abby, the reference to your 4 year old self is irrelevant to this discussion. You are stretching your perceived...
Undergraduateabifyor - Dec 1, 2018 / Holt - Dec 2, 2018
|UBC PERSONAL PROFILE - something about yourself, also according to opinions of others
2 - Try to not be a one trick pony. You will bore the reviewer by your constant reference to your...
Undergraduateisica - Nov 30, 2018 / Holt - Nov 30, 2018
|Essay on how I deal with the overstimulation of information
2 - Giuliana, you never responded to the question you posed for yourself in the essay. The main question is how...
UndergraduateGiuliVal - Nov 30, 2018 / Holt - Nov 30, 2018
|I spent this past summer performing in a show at the Winnipeg Fringe Theatre Festival ACTIVITY ESSAY
3 - Hi Victoria, the essay in itself needs to be better presented. The strength of the essay and the interest...
Undergraduatevictoria_003 - Nov 27, 2018 / Holt - Nov 30, 2018
|'The friends around' - UBC PERSONAL PROFILE, WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU AND WHY?
3 - This looks like a really good response and I love how you outlined how your friends brought a positive...
Undergraduatekaffafle - Nov 28, 2018 / isica - Nov 30, 2018
|Waterloo; comment e.g. on your exposure to engineering through school-related and other experiences
2 - Mohammed, your essay is dry, boring, and not very informative. You should be focusing in providing interesting responses for...
Undergraduatemmahtab10 - Nov 28, 2018 / Holt - Nov 29, 2018
|Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by environment around
3 - jinzhejian, you have chosen a very interesting topic for this discussion. However, your presentation is off. You are talking...
UndergraduateJack_Kin - Nov 28, 2018 / Holt - Nov 29, 2018
|OVERCOMING AN EDUCATION BARRIER. How did overcoming this barrier help shape who are you today?
Undergraduatesmarquez16 - Nov 27, 2018 / luna789 - Nov 29, 2018
|College App Essay - 200 American movies
Undergraduatesnazbt - Nov 27, 2018 / luna789 - Nov 29, 2018
|Students presenting a portfolio in Art Practice must include an artist's statement
2 - Hi, I think this a great essay. I think there is too much of visualize there, try another synonym...
Undergraduatech15hann - Nov 28, 2018 / arnoldb - Nov 28, 2018
|UBC PERSONAL PROFILE: Tell us more about one activity listed above that is most important to you
3 - Maggie, actually, this is one essay where it is more important to tell than to show. Mostly because the...
Undergraduateisica - Nov 27, 2018 / Holt - Nov 28, 2018
|NYU Personal essay - Duty Six - an event in your life and how it changed you or someone close to you
4 - @sopelartey I am very confused about the goings on in your essay. You see, you are writing this story...
Undergraduatesopelartey - Nov 26, 2018 / Holt - Nov 27, 2018
|OVERCOMING CHALLENGE - How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?
3 - Yes I completely understand! To answer this prompt I think my other essay might fit as well, I paired...
Undergraduatesmarquez16 - Nov 27, 2018 / smarquez16 - Nov 27, 2018
|What would you design, having money for your idea?
4 - This sounds really good, and the project that you talked about is clearly something that's important to you, which...
Undergraduatevtuvawm - Nov 25, 2018 / victoria_003 - Nov 27, 2018
|A plan to pursue academic interests at USC, address your first and second-choice major selections
3 - Hannah, the essay is off to an interesting start. The fact that you are facing frustrations with regards to...
Undergraduatech15hann - Nov 26, 2018 / Holt - Nov 27, 2018
|The most important to me is the relationship with my friends and family - UBC Personal Profile
6 - Victoria, I think that the slant of your essay should not be on the "relationship I have with family...
Undergraduatevictoria_003 - Nov 26, 2018 / Holt - Nov 27, 2018
|To do no harm - Why NYU essay, maximum 2500 characters (Transfer Application)
3 - I agree with every point you made. Thank you! You give gave me great ideas for the next draft,...
Undergraduateemden25 - Nov 26, 2018 / emden25 - Nov 27, 2018
|How can I improve my response to "Reasons for choosing your program and Waterloo" in the AIF
3 - Mohammad, your excitement about applying to Waterloo is evident in the essay. However, beyond the excitement, there isn't anything...
Undergraduatemmahtab10 - Nov 25, 2018 / Holt - Nov 26, 2018
|UCF Common App essay - What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
2 - Victoria, save for a little punctuation problems with regards to missing commas after a conjunction, your essay is well...
Undergraduatevictoria orellan - Nov 25, 2018 / Holt - Nov 26, 2018
|College essay - how I've dealt with my grandfather alzheimer's
4 - Really enjoyed the introduction, especially the hook! The transition from the intro to you being an artist and designer...
Undergraduateamandablanca002 - Nov 24, 2018 / vtuvawm - Nov 25, 2018
|The people and things that have occurred in my life, to shape me into the person I am today
4 - I suggest you focus on either basketball or art and not both for your second two paragraphs. That way,...
Undergraduateflresmnc - Nov 24, 2018 / vtuvawm - Nov 25, 2018
|Supplement Essay for UVA - What is your quirk?
Undergraduatevtuvawm - Nov 23, 2018 / vtuvawm - Nov 25, 2018
|UC Essay:  Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you
2 - Considering your sentence structure, you need to remember to use a comma after a conjunction such as "shook" to...
UndergraduateLimsanity - Nov 25, 2018 / Holt - Nov 25, 2018
|My story; I moved to the United States from Ghana, a small West African country
4 - Hi Kimberly, I really liked this essay, but I do think that the first paragraph needs something to grab...
Undergraduatekimberlykkw - Nov 14, 2018 / victoria orellan - Nov 25, 2018
|"See the beauty of the tiniest things" - Yale Supplemental Essays
3 - @Holt, thanks for the tips! I'll rewrite this essays now. May I post them here for another answer of...
UndergraduateCabradasbrisa - Nov 23, 2018 / Cabradasbrisa - Nov 24, 2018
|"post undergraduate goals" - Berkeley's HAAS business school application essay
2 - Utsav, this is a simplistic response to the statement. As such, it does not really respond to the question...
Undergraduateukapoor - Nov 23, 2018 / Holt - Nov 24, 2018
|"REHARMONIZATION OF MY LIFE NOTES" Personal Statement For The Common Application
Undergraduatebishop00 - Nov 20, 2018 / Holt - Nov 21, 2018
|My Common App Essay: Personal Statement about what I have been through
2 - Hey, this is a good essay topic, however, the essay does have a lot of awkward sentences and grammar...
Undergraduateqqtheonly - Nov 16, 2018 / sklyn27 - Nov 20, 2018
|Supplement essay for Colgate University - We want to get to know you better
2 - Bishoy, don't use first person pronouns for this essay. Since the description should be coming from your best friend,...
Undergraduatebishop00 - Nov 19, 2018 / Holt - Nov 20, 2018
|Taking advantage of a significant educational opportunity or overcoming an educational barrier
2 - It is confusing to read. The best way to approach this essay is to first discuss what you excel...
Undergraduatepshah35 - Nov 19, 2018 / Holt - Nov 20, 2018
|My childhood seemed very lousy in the moment, I've realized however, it's my greatest blessing
2 - Layipaana, don't forget to run a spellchecker and double check the grammar in your presentation. You've got several typos...
Undergraduatelryahaya13 - Nov 18, 2018 / Holt - Nov 19, 2018
|Common App essay - talking about challenges I've faced throughout my life
5 - The sentence structure errors are nothing that a simple editing check will not fix. In terms of content, I...
UndergraduateVolcore - Nov 4, 2018 / Holt - Nov 19, 2018
|Essay on a place where I grew up. 'Do the things you've got to do to, do the things you want to do'
2 - It is very unfortunate Andrea that this essay is exactly what you hoped it would not be. It is...
Undergraduateandrea4116 - Nov 17, 2018 / Holt - Nov 18, 2018
|What is your greatest skill and how have you developed it over time (UC essay question)
Undergraduateakb - Nov 16, 2018 / Holt - Nov 17, 2018
|It seems that being odd isn't that very odd after all - Uchicago supplement
2 - I'm sure this goes without saying, but, "odd" is repeated too many times. Is there a purpose to the...
UndergraduateHeathen5 - Nov 11, 2018 / Fizzik - Nov 16, 2018
|College personal essay: What does home mean and how it affected me?
2 - Wardo, the essay was really going well in terms of discussing your personal growth and understanding of others before...
UndergraduateWardo Saverin - Nov 15, 2018 / Holt - Nov 16, 2018
|Public speaking - Second opinion on my UC Personal Insight Questions!
2 - Eknoor, you have to change the second paragraph as you have it presented at the moment. In this type...
UndergraduateSolarFlare1230 - Nov 14, 2018 / Holt - Nov 14, 2018
|College Essay - Fashion Institute of Technology Essay for Illustration
2 - Sarah. would you consider flipping the first and last paragraph positions in the essay? I feel like the essay...
UndergraduatesarahArtist12 - Nov 12, 2018 / Holt - Nov 13, 2018
|My Childhood Dream - the essay to convince that I would be an important participant of Global UGRAD
2 - Ahmed, I find that the last 2 paragraphs of your essay can be revised to create a more relevant...
UndergraduateAHMEDosman - Nov 9, 2018 / Holt - Nov 10, 2018
|UC Question: how you have worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced (Dyslexia)
2 - Amanda, I learned more about how your grandmother helped you overcome you Dyslexia as opposed to learning how you...
Undergraduateakb - Nov 9, 2018 / Holt - Nov 10, 2018
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