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|Big-Mouth Laughter - Stanford essay: a letter to future roommate
2 - I have fun reading your essay. Just a small recommendation "But surprisingly, my friends tell me this is another...
Undergraduatesyi0721 - Dec 29, 2013 / hoanhthu - Dec 29, 2013
|Rice short essays - "Why the school of social sciences" and "why rice"
5 - "The Kinder Institute for Urban Research is one example through which I can involve in local community" -> "The...
Undergraduateiloveyogurt - Dec 26, 2013 / hoanhthu - Dec 29, 2013
|Why my favorite word is Triumph. - UVA essay
UndergraduateTabo1 - Dec 29, 2013 / xujunjiejack - Dec 29, 2013
|what matters to me and why: creating change through writing
4 - I think the flow is pretty ok, but I would recommend you to revise "My creativity shines through my...
Undergraduatewolflover60 - Dec 27, 2013 / hoanhthu - Dec 29, 2013
|The Future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams- Brandeis Supplement
Undergraduategama - Dec 29, 2013 / gama - Dec 29, 2013
|'dynamics of society and culture' Agriculture and Life - Cornell Supplement Essay
UndergraduateSilverfern - Dec 29, 2013 / iloveyogurt - Dec 29, 2013
|Getting subbed off and soccer player - Common app essay
3 - I would suggest that you start off immediately with the story of getting subbed off; it helps with getting...
Undergraduatekathmandu123 - Dec 29, 2013 / acewashere - Dec 29, 2013
|I never wanted to be an engineer CMU ENGINEERING SUPPLEMENT.
Undergraduateacewashere - Dec 28, 2013 / acewashere - Dec 29, 2013
|A mature global scholar - Brown [why major] critique
Undergraduatequanny - Dec 28, 2013 / quanny - Dec 29, 2013
|bio-engineer roots - Johns Hopkins University Admission Essay
2 - Very good job, well written essay. Your anecdote about the war vet as well as your reason for wanting...
UndergraduateJunhyeong - Dec 29, 2013 / Tabo1 - Dec 29, 2013
|high school musical songs - Stanford Intellectual Vitality Essay
5 - The conclusion is a bit wordy and can be condensed. Also, it might sound cliched to end with the...
UndergraduateAkuhah - Dec 29, 2013 / GoonerTH14 - Dec 29, 2013
|Chemistry Competition; MIT - Situation didn't go as planned
3 - Well... I think you need to redo this once again. Give more focus to the particular situation that...
UndergraduateJamesBarns - Dec 27, 2013 / dumi - Dec 29, 2013
|Bursting My Bubble - "Intellectual Vitality" Stanford Supplement
11 - The "tree (fear it!)" is a reference to Stanford's unofficial mascot, the tree, present at all football games. But...
UndergraduateGoonerTH14 - Dec 27, 2013 / GoonerTH14 - Dec 29, 2013
|Describing a quirk that's a part of who I am- UVA supplement
2 - solid essay...
Undergraduatean_nie - Dec 29, 2013 / kimmykimkim - Dec 29, 2013
|In Spring, we grow roots.- Princeton Supplement [culture]
2 - the last sentence seems grammatically wrong. But this is a very unique and reflective piece :D THe process seems...
UndergraduateCarolKang22 - Dec 29, 2013 / quanny - Dec 29, 2013
|designing and piloting experiments - mit activity pleasure essay critique
Undergraduatequanny - Dec 28, 2013 / Kristoria - Dec 29, 2013
|I have achieved many milestones; Accomplishment or event, formal or informal
5 - I absolutely love this essay.. i haven't finished mine as yet but you have opened my eyes to a...
UndergraduateKristoria - Dec 28, 2013 / Akuhah - Dec 29, 2013
|'...quiet types who loves to read Tolstoy for fun' STANFORD SUPPLEMENT: Letter to Roommate
Undergraduateadatiger96 - Dec 28, 2013 / Kristoria - Dec 29, 2013
|Human rights advocate - Stanford Roommate Letter Essay
3 - Big up my fellow Jamaicans! I really liked this essay. The flow was good and at the same time...
UndergraduateAkuhah - Dec 29, 2013 / Kristoria - Dec 29, 2013
|Stanford Supplement/ Special Olympics/ or just Olympics
2 - You did a good job of elaborating about the activity and gave a nice example. Also, you stated why...
UndergraduateSammieA - Dec 28, 2013 / Kristoria - Dec 29, 2013
|Eulogy - Common App Personal Essay (Topic 5)
2 - submerge sounds a bit awkward, maybe weighted? i dunno. but i can feel ur emotion. However, I think you...
UndergraduateChickenLadder - Dec 29, 2013 / quanny - Dec 29, 2013
|The first day I came to New Zealand - UC Personal Statement
16 - Thanks Ghada, i really appreciate your comment. I'll reply in the nxt couple of days man thnx...
Undergraduatetbtehfdl77 - Dec 23, 2013 / tbtehfdl77 - Dec 29, 2013
|"Let your life speak."/ extracurricular activities or work experiences
7 - "High School" doesn't need to be capitalized unless you're going to specifically write the name of your high...
UndergraduateWoodstock - Dec 27, 2013 / an_nie - Dec 29, 2013
|Rags to Riches - Common Application Background Essay
4 - "After seeing my friends fall like flies to Mr. Matthew's words, I used this computer to reach new academic...
UndergraduateJdmJdm - Dec 28, 2013 / winginger - Dec 29, 2013
|The not-so-age-old question ; UVA Supp; "To tweet or not to tweet?"
UndergraduateSilverKnight - Dec 26, 2013 / Utau4928 - Dec 29, 2013
|Since a young age, I have been traveling... Northwestern Supplement (unique qualities)
2 - For the most part, you answer the prompt, but you need to mention the undergraduate school that your major...
Undergraduateck1121 - Dec 28, 2013 / SilverKnight - Dec 28, 2013
|Rice University - Personal Perspective - Grandfathers and Pumpkin Pie
4 - Really well written, and the ideas are good. Other than what others posted I don't think there is any...
Undergraduatewinginger - Dec 28, 2013 / JdmJdm - Dec 28, 2013
|"The day I bullied my mother" - Common App Essay Draft
Undergraduatesalami809 - Dec 27, 2013 / salami809 - Dec 28, 2013
|I will make you laugh when you are too stressed and make you forget, why are you sad.
2 - Wakes ceremonies are not fun. Of course not! One member of your family has just die!Well of course not,...
UndergraduateValeria U - Dec 28, 2013 / plee24 - Dec 28, 2013
|The open cremation site; A place where I'm perfectly content
4 - Thank you so much for your feedback . Would you please point me out the awkward words so that...
Undergraduateimpatient101 - Dec 28, 2013 / impatient101 - Dec 28, 2013
|'wide spectrum' A U of T - What has inspired you to pursue an engineering degree?
Undergraduateplmokn123 - Dec 28, 2013 / hanlus - Dec 28, 2013
|I know I am a thinking being; Cornell - current intellectual interests
UndergraduateFunnyboy - Dec 28, 2013 / Funnyboy - Dec 28, 2013
|Comments on MIT short essays? (cultural identity, which department)
UndergraduateRyxion - Dec 25, 2013 / Ryxion - Dec 28, 2013
|I have an obsession for dramas; cinderellla moments?
2 - To kimmykimkim: What is the prompt? It is difficult to give constructive feedback if I do not know...
Undergraduatekimmykimkim - Dec 28, 2013 / katsen - Dec 28, 2013
|Yale Supplement - "Masters Teas", "Short Takes", "Family Dinner" (Deadline: 31st December)
NEW - 1.) What in particular about Yale has influenced your decision to apply? (Please answer in 100 words or less.)...
Undergraduateakshay1996 - Dec 28, 2013 / — -
|Pomona Prompt - Design a Critical Inquiry Course - Politics of Beauty
6 - Wow this is a really interesting essay - I think think it's set for submission! It's really showing you...
Undergraduatewinginger - Dec 24, 2013 / akshay1996 - Dec 28, 2013
|I wanted to be an astronaut. Caltech's opportunities and resources, supplement essay
7 - yep, i agree with helloimyellow. it seems as though you're not really talking about the prompt. try to focus...
Undergraduatekaranbhullar - Dec 24, 2013 / hanlus - Dec 28, 2013
|'play tennis from a very early age' Duke short essay. discuss an extracurricular activity.
UndergraduateiPreo - Dec 28, 2013 / ck1121 - Dec 28, 2013
|'being helpful from just being offensive.' - The Art of Persuasion; Common App
Undergraduateericeric - Dec 28, 2013 / ck1121 - Dec 28, 2013
|[WATERLOO AIF] Engineering interests and goals
2 - Overall, this essay gets the point across. However it seems a little unfocused. Try to address all aspects of...
Undergraduatehanlus - Dec 28, 2013 / helloimyellow - Dec 28, 2013
|After each successive plunge, I gain speed; Williams supplement
2 - What's the supp question? It's a very vivid essay, you have a lot of descriptive words, but you focus...
Undergraduatethekid96 - Dec 28, 2013 / omg2014 - Dec 28, 2013
|Ť Grains de philo ť Writing supplements dilmma! ; "Why Yale"
Undergraduateloumap - Dec 28, 2013 / iacero - Dec 28, 2013
|Identity background or story / Realization - two essays, which one should I submit?
Undergraduatewhileloop - Dec 28, 2013 / whileloop - Dec 28, 2013
|"The Tree of Possibles" by Bernard Weber - insight in natural sciences is more important
5 - In english quotation marks always look like this "blahblahblah" (not <<blahblahblah>> or <blahblahblah> as they do in french.) So...
UndergraduateNoona221 - Dec 28, 2013 / Lydmeister - Dec 28, 2013
|"I want a vanilla dipped waffle-cone with extra rainbow sprinkles"; GMU Essay
5 - Your last sentence gets the point across, but you repeat and undersell yourself: " While I am positive that...
Undergraduateim2nice - Dec 27, 2013 / SengeDolma - Dec 28, 2013
|Combination of values - William and Mary supplement essay; Uniqueness
4 - I really think your essay needs more revising, and a clearer structure, because I think you idea somehow gets...
Undergraduatejsh0011 - Dec 27, 2013 / iPreo - Dec 28, 2013
|The best research uni; Georgia Tech- Why and What you hope to contribute to community?
3 - should I omit the first two sentences and change it like this? I have researched innumerable colleges to...
Undergraduatewnsgud4030 - Dec 28, 2013 / wnsgud4030 - Dec 28, 2013
|Princeton Supplement- Plucking White Hairs
3 - Thank you for your comment! I really appreciate it! I have rewritten another one. Would you mind looking over...
Undergraduatekatsen - Dec 27, 2013 / katsen - Dec 28, 2013
|"Mechanical engineering," I'd answered instinctively; Upenn-good fit for engineering
2 - it has good balance btw u and the school. It is really very good, because when i substitute using...
Undergraduatejagirl - Dec 28, 2013 / quanny - Dec 28, 2013
|"Commentary on karate during a sparring match" - COMMON APP ESSAY
4 - this essay is great because of its detailed descriptions. You keep readers' attention and successfully show how you grow....
Undergraduateakshay1996 - Dec 25, 2013 / quanny - Dec 28, 2013
|"Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life"; perfectly content
4 - My only advice: you want some imagery, but not too much imagery. Sometime too much imagery would impede the...
Undergraduatemehraabanwar - Dec 11, 2013 / Xenon54 - Dec 28, 2013
|I am a senior in highschool, yet I still cannot talk to girls; Common app
4 - If you're having trouble between the two maybe you can use the two of them. Maybe some supplements asked...
UndergraduateMBLTheNumbaOne - Dec 27, 2013 / iacero - Dec 28, 2013
|Palazzio Vecchio - Carnegie Mellon Supplement
UndergraduateWizFan2 - Dec 27, 2013 / stanford - Dec 28, 2013
|"Skeletons in their closet"; Coming Out Of The Closet
5 - It's really fascinating essay, I sometimes just skim essays, but this time I was so focused. Couldn't find any...
UndergraduateAnnieKim611 - Dec 26, 2013 / MBLTheNumbaOne - Dec 27, 2013
|My palms sweat and my heart races... Majoring in unafraid - Barnard Supplement
3 - I understand that you've overcome that fear, but like previous comments, you need to focus almost entirely on overcoming...
UndergraduateAnnieKim611 - Dec 26, 2013 / MBLTheNumbaOne - Dec 27, 2013
|Why Swarthmore: "I want to get lost in the wonderful multitude of a liberal arts education
4 - Haha, Thank you! For my rice one, I initially had a funny simile between Chinese cuisine (you know...
Undergraduateiloveyogurt - Dec 27, 2013 / iloveyogurt - Dec 27, 2013
|My interview at Connecticut College; Why Connecticut College?
4 - Hello I think that your aswer is clear and honest and that is a good point. Referring precisely to...
Undergraduateiacero - Dec 27, 2013 / loumap - Dec 27, 2013
|Carnegie Mellon Supplement - particular major(s), department(s) or program(s)
6 - I think the essay is beautifully written and I especially like the last sentence. But I agree with...
UndergraduateWizFan2 - Dec 26, 2013 / jsh0011 - Dec 27, 2013
|"In the Minority" essay for Eugene Lang via the Common App--feedback requested!
3 - Your feedback inspired my other essay for the common app, (I'd like more than 50 words to expand on...
UndergraduateSengeDolma - Dec 27, 2013 / SengeDolma - Dec 27, 2013
|TRIP TO COUNTRYSIDE; PERFECTLY CONTENT
Undergraduateloumap - Dec 27, 2013 / loumap - Dec 27, 2013
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