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|'It's hot. My skin is melting.' WILLIAMS COLLEGE AND COLUMBIA U. - what meaningful to you
3 - Thanks!! I had more description with the second one and the car but I thought it was a little...
UndergraduateBilboLinda - Dec 31, 2013 / BilboLinda - Dec 31, 2013
|'cruelty of human nature' Beloved by Toni Morrison - UVA SUPPLEMENT
Undergraduateaaamonicaaa - Dec 31, 2013 / boston1002 - Dec 31, 2013
|The word "yes" has the power to create and change - UVA Word Essay
2 - You can work on making it more intricate so that it flows better in between ideas. Perhaps towards the...
Undergraduateaaamonicaaa - Dec 31, 2013 / Chetan96312 - Dec 31, 2013
|I love economics and Careers In - UofChicago
NEW - Hello guys! I'm new to this, Please take a look at my UofChicago essay for the first writing supplement....
UndergraduateChetan96312 - Dec 31, 2013 / — -
|I am not exactly sure what matters to me; Stanford
8 - I definitely think the starting sentence needs to go. I don't know the word limit but if you have...
Undergraduatedarketernaly - Dec 29, 2013 / Silverfern - Dec 31, 2013
|'My obsession for ankle length socks' Mount Holyoke Supplement - Never Change/ Fear
4 - I liked it! However, I feel like there is definitely room for improvement. I would include more of a...
Undergraduatecantabile - Dec 31, 2013 / aaamonicaaa - Dec 31, 2013
|First-generation Somali-American - STANFORD-WHAT MATTERS TO YOU , AND WHY?
2 - I really like your essay. I can see that you are passionate about your roots and your family. Maybe...
UndergraduateHass95 - Dec 31, 2013 / BilboLinda - Dec 31, 2013
|'has many quirky yet attractive qualities' Yale's Supplements; SHORT QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
2 - the perspectives of ur essay is fresh, and i think it shows ur growth and identity. Good luck for...
Undergraduatebelieveinwaves - Dec 31, 2013 / quanny - Dec 31, 2013
|Chapter in Geography - expanding MIT essay. Critique and commentary.
3 - As for the things I'm passionate about, I've already pretty much covered in other essays. Would the challenges I...
UndergraduateGervin101 - Dec 31, 2013 / Gervin101 - Dec 31, 2013
|'established so long ago(1839)' The mouth watering prospect - why BU is a good fit for you
UndergraduateTaherj725 - Dec 30, 2013 / aaamonicaaa - Dec 31, 2013
|Cluttered life - What matters to you, and why? 250 words or less
2 - Feel free to completely disregard what I say! I think your topic is a little broad and maybe be...
Undergraduate14apatton - Dec 31, 2013 / spark - Dec 31, 2013
|Equarithmophobia - UVA Quirk Essay
3 - The essay is very unique and interesting. It grabbed my from the beginning! However, I think that you...
Undergraduatehgood - Dec 31, 2013 / aaamonicaaa - Dec 31, 2013
|COMMON APP ESSAY - MEDICINE, DEATH, ART, SURGERY
5 - i agree with garmin that u can make the opening more attention-grabbing. maybe less telling. other than that, a...
Undergraduatehazelhoff - Dec 22, 2013 / quanny - Dec 31, 2013
|burning congee - YALE SUP ESSAY
Undergraduatequanny - Dec 31, 2013 / quanny - Dec 31, 2013
|'...brilliance, wit, and passion for the world. Just like me' YALE SUPPLEMENTS
Undergraduatehazelhoff - Dec 28, 2013 / quanny - Dec 31, 2013
|Meliora motto - R.I.T. ( ROCHESTER ) - Describe what's leading you to apply.
2 - I am not really sure if you are an international student or native. But you MUST re-read your essay!...
Undergraduateana523 - Dec 31, 2013 / anvarashurov717 - Dec 31, 2013
|Common App Essay- My Friend Alice (Topic 4) - place or environment
2 - It's a great essay. Interesting read and definitely tells the reader a lot about you. Fantastic job!...
Undergraduatecantabile - Dec 31, 2013 / garmin610 - Dec 31, 2013
|University of Pennsylvania Supplement - "Why you are a good fit for your school choice"
9 - An excellent essay overall but I was thinking providing more structure to the essay through a proper introduction and...
UndergraduateOneiromancer - Dec 25, 2013 / OccamsRazor - Dec 31, 2013
|What do watches have -Bioengineering department -UPENN Supplement: why you are a good fit?
2 - WOW, FEEL safe to submit, it is very detailed and personal. i like ur analogy at the end haha...
Undergraduatearchanimal890 - Dec 31, 2013 / quanny - Dec 31, 2013
|Calling myself a vampire - Common app essay critique
3 - ^Thanks. I noticed some grammatical errors that I am correcting, but can anyone give specific on particular sentences...
Undergraduategarmin610 - Dec 31, 2013 / garmin610 - Dec 31, 2013
|I express myself through my cakes; When Curiosity Led to Baking
10 - I really like how you wrote about something that not a lot of people would think of since wen...
UndergraduateChristianB - Oct 11, 2013 / cocamb - Dec 31, 2013
|I've got a golden ticket! - 'try something new'
2 - ...there was another layer. Curious, I pull a shimmery, gold slip of paper out from under the chocolate...
Undergraduatea_foster - Dec 31, 2013 / hgood - Dec 31, 2013
|Stanford short answer Collabo(societal challenges, and EC activities)
7 - thanks for the help guys, and i appreciate it but, i actually do speak like this. I never once...
UndergraduateHass95 - Dec 30, 2013 / Hass95 - Dec 31, 2013
|'I want to change the world' Politics and Camp Becket - Yale Supplement
3 - I agree with routman, add a little more focus to the future. I really liked the anecdote though, it...
Undergraduategetmeincollege - Dec 31, 2013 / mclark13 - Dec 31, 2013
|'Dora the explorer' - the world you come from; your family, clubs, school, community, city
2 - This is what you have: Every important lessons of my Life I learned from Dora the explorer... I grow...
UndergraduateAlekaAlika - Dec 31, 2013 / 14apatton - Dec 31, 2013
|Critique Stanford Writing Supplements-Intellectual Vitality,Future Roomate,& What Matters
UndergraduateXtalClear - Dec 31, 2013 / XtalClear - Dec 31, 2013
|Claremont McKenna who would you invite to speak at the school essay 300 word limit
2 - Your response is written very well, however it doesn't show who you are but mainly focuses on the speaker....
Undergraduatemsc123123 - Dec 31, 2013 / cocamb - Dec 31, 2013
|'Without technology, I would not be here' MIT Essay- Describe the world you come from
Undergraduatemituser - Dec 31, 2013 / Gervin101 - Dec 31, 2013
|'president of my school's Newzpaper, The Flame' Stanford extra curricular Elaboration.
UndergraduateAkuhah - Dec 29, 2013 / Akuhah - Dec 31, 2013
|"What are you doing? Go away!" Personal statement- Relationship with brother
Undergraduatelilly1218 - Jul 18, 2013 / BachChaconne2 - Dec 31, 2013
|COLUMBIA SUPP ESSAY. Hearts and Not Family
2 - "advice"- advise "art"- "artistic" (?) Overall, the first essay is very well written. I really liked the repetition used...
UndergraduateBilboLinda - Dec 31, 2013 / cantabile - Dec 31, 2013
|Being given 1500 - Transition from Childhood to Adulthood
Undergraduatemaddigirl - Dec 31, 2013 / Akuhah - Dec 31, 2013
|UVA Essay: If you were given funding for a small engineering project, what would you do?
Undergraduatesteak - Dec 31, 2013 / cantabile - Dec 31, 2013
|The Trial; For as long as I can remember, my biggest fear has always been failure.
3 - I think it worked with the prompt. You failed to become a prefect...that would be failure. So yes, I...
UndergraduateAkuhah - Dec 31, 2013 / maddigirl - Dec 31, 2013
|"Tin soldiers" Common App Esssay
Undergraduatetrangsix - Dec 30, 2013 / Utau4928 - Dec 31, 2013
|Heart racing - Yale Open Ended Essay
Undergraduatemclark13 - Dec 31, 2013 / getmeincollege - Dec 31, 2013
|Facebook status and women in shock - Common App Personal Statement
UndergraduateHen - Dec 31, 2013 / Hen - Dec 31, 2013
|NYU Supplement: My BackPack
3 - Thanks for the feedback! Do you think I should keep it just the two paragraphs or should I expand?...
Undergraduatecocamb - Dec 31, 2013 / cocamb - Dec 31, 2013
|Universum Mexico, Dictionary, Catholic and Atheist - Stanford essays
3 - Essay 1: "All of these options failed, and suddenly all other ideas have run out. " I would use...
UndergraduateWoodstock - Dec 31, 2013 / Gervin101 - Dec 31, 2013
|UT Austin Statement of Purpose Essay. Undeclared Major
3 - This is really well done. Coming from someone who doesn't know you, I would say you are a fighter...
Undergraduatelazydaisy424 - Dec 30, 2013 / a_foster - Dec 31, 2013
|'Irish philosopher Edmund Burke...' Event That Has Shaped Your Future, $10,000 Question!
Undergraduateiamnicholas1 - Dec 30, 2013 / maddigirl - Dec 31, 2013
|engineering program hulks in head - Northwestern University writing supplement McCormick
NEW - i m an international student applying for northwestern university (only 1 day left please help me ) can you...
UndergraduateSciencetransmit - Dec 31, 2013 / — -
|I'm Sorry Dad - Common App Essay Topic 1.
UndergraduateBhattaArjun - Dec 4, 2013 / N_Campbell - Dec 31, 2013
|Pitzer Supplement: Paint, Feathers, & Glitter :)
2 - Wow! The intro was amazing, you don't need to change it! Definitely a grabber and descriptive. I like it!...
Undergraduatecocamb - Dec 31, 2013 / N_Campbell - Dec 31, 2013
|Bates supplement - responsible stewardship of the wider world
2 - I apply for Bates myself, and I like how you answered Bates' statement. I believe, with the education...
Undergraduatesavusavu - Dec 30, 2013 / OMGreeny - Dec 31, 2013
|'Beyond the walls of my safe haven..' Chinatown restaurant - CENTRAL TO IDENTITY
Undergraduatexxnina22796xx - Dec 31, 2013 / cicijolee - Dec 31, 2013
|'I finally got to see the Hogwarts dining hall' - Yale supplement
12 - thenewdude thanks! Do you think you can look over my Upenn essay? And already looked over your lafayette...
Undergraduatecicijolee - Dec 30, 2013 / cicijolee - Dec 31, 2013
|Chinese exchange students - BARNARD SUPPLEMENTS
2 - About your "If I could meet any historical figure essay", The essay is very well done. The only issue...
Undergraduatexxnina22796xx - Dec 31, 2013 / Musicpro - Dec 31, 2013
|The CELLO seemed to be a perfect match for all types of music;Yale
NEW - From the moment I danced my fingers on the fine metallic strings of the cello. In a crowd, group,...
UndergraduateHippocratesx - Dec 31, 2013 / — -
|Penn's course catalog - Why Penn - My chance to research
2 - This essay sounds like you just looked up stuff in their catalogs. ANYONE can write about the colllege. You...
UndergraduateJYClassof2018 - Dec 31, 2013 / Musicpro - Dec 31, 2013
|life is just a game where we can be winners or losers -attribute of personality -MIT essay
8 - The supplement is alright. It seems rushed. You should use more concrete details and elaborate on certain points within...
UndergraduateBuja51 - Dec 29, 2013 / boston1002 - Dec 31, 2013
|Dream China train journey - I want to transfer to MSU - transfer essay.
NEW - Michigan State University recognizes that an assortment of interests, viewpoints, and life experiences are important in student learning and...
Undergraduateseraphliu - Dec 31, 2013 / — -
|bland sandwich - 'to know about you' Yale supplement
14 - sorry, I totally misinterpreted your essay. Well, whatever the meaning is, it is a good essay. I always think...
Undergraduatejohntasker - Dec 29, 2013 / maddigirl - Dec 31, 2013
|Columbia University Short Essays: Lions, Shakespeare, Writing (Oh My).
Undergraduate221aj - Dec 27, 2013 / 221aj - Dec 31, 2013
|The island greets me with a gush of the warm Caribbean air; Perfectly content
2 - Hmm, I would definitely not use "responsibilities" throughout your essay. You come across as sort of lazy and it...
Undergraduategogreaves - Dec 30, 2013 / sammk33 - Dec 31, 2013
|my red school blazer - MIT CHALLENGE ESSAY
Undergraduatequanny - Dec 31, 2013 / quanny - Dec 31, 2013
|Military Service - Background / Central to identity
Undergraduatekhedeeve - Dec 30, 2013 / dorbaruch - Dec 31, 2013
|'learning by rote the ready-made solutions' Common application essay - dyslexia melons
UndergraduateShilay - Dec 30, 2013 / Shilay - Dec 31, 2013
|EducationUSA advisor in Dubai; MIT essay/ Most significant challenge
5 - I changed the essay, could you give it another look. Thanks in advance! About three months ago, my...
UndergraduateAliTaha - Dec 30, 2013 / AliTaha - Dec 31, 2013
|Lawyer or computer scientist - NYU Supplement for College of the Arts and Sciences!
3 - Thanks so much for the feedback I will definitely make some changes! That makes my essay sound a lot...
Undergraduatescatano81 - Dec 31, 2013 / scatano81 - Dec 31, 2013
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