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|John Bruce Lee; Amherst Supplement- Stereotype
NEW - "Stereotyped beliefs have the power to become self-fulfilling prophesies for behavior." Elizabeth Aries, Professor of Psychology, Amherst College. From...
UndergraduateMBLTheNumbaOne - Dec 27, 2013 / — -
|Emergency room; 'It was a usual morning in my house'
Undergraduatejsh0011 - Dec 27, 2013 / an_nie - Dec 27, 2013
|My history teacher - Princeton Suppl. "person who has influenced you in a significant way"
3 - In terms of Harvard you could definitely go ahead and use this. However, for Yale it would be better...
Undergraduate2014MSETI - Dec 20, 2013 / Kristoria - Dec 27, 2013
|Notes,Notes. & more end; A work of music that has surprised/unsettled/challenged me- UVA
3 - Encouraged doesn't follow the present tense structure you set up. Great essay, I really liked the conclusion....
Undergraduatean_nie - Dec 27, 2013 / WizFan2 - Dec 27, 2013
|Best Education alone isn't enough to create good citizens; Bowdoin- Common Good
3 - Thanks for your input, I just wanted to be little different from everyone else, for almost none of them...
UndergraduateMBLTheNumbaOne - Dec 26, 2013 / MBLTheNumbaOne - Dec 27, 2013
|Amherst College Supplement Feedback: Stereotypes and a Black American Female
4 - No I don't see much else. After reading your 2 essays I noticed that you are really comfortable with...
Undergraduateashper - Dec 27, 2013 / Kristoria - Dec 27, 2013
|Penn jerome fisher program (undergraduate) - entrepreneurship
2 - Very interesting essay. Your life experience shows why you find UPenn to be the right fit for you in...
Undergraduatesarthakjain - Dec 24, 2013 / Kristoria - Dec 27, 2013
|Why Northwestern? Social Policy Program
4 - This is a great essay, and in the short word limit you addressed most of the prompt. But like...
Undergraduatecjhanna82 - Dec 26, 2013 / WizFan2 - Dec 27, 2013
|I could watch my SpongeBob! - Central to Identity
Undergraduatemlozano11 - Dec 24, 2013 / mlozano11 - Dec 27, 2013
|STANFORD SUPP- intellectual vitality- CULTURE AND MORALITY
5 - Thanks, SilverKnight, I hadn't realized how ineffective my word choice had been. I think it has definitely misconstrued my...
Undergraduatehelloimyellow - Dec 25, 2013 / helloimyellow - Dec 27, 2013
|I am still trying to figure out who I am; CENTRAL TO IDENTITY
2 - I really liked the essay itself but I never did understand this question. That is why I stayed away...
Undergraduateashper - Dec 27, 2013 / Kristoria - Dec 27, 2013
|McIntire essay - Taking life in stride, multi-cultural experience
UndergraduateAmberCommerce - Dec 27, 2013 / thenewdude - Dec 27, 2013
|Common App Essay Prompt 5 - jumping the puddle
6 - Thanks a bunch man, now I'm at exactly 649 words. You're a lifesaver. Anytime you need me to take...
Undergraduatetoonistic - Dec 24, 2013 / toonistic - Dec 27, 2013
|Technology Clinic and passion - Why Lafayette? My attempt to be a little different.
11 - Ryxion, thank you for your comments. Since many feel this way, I think I'll try to do some major...
Undergraduatethenewdude - Dec 26, 2013 / thenewdude - Dec 27, 2013
|Brown/USC Undergraduate Essays by a Chinese speaking Indian in Singapore
3 - Side note----It is funny that I wrote on one of your previous post, that the story that you told...
Undergraduateakshay1996 - Dec 22, 2013 / admission2012 - Dec 27, 2013
|I was 10, when I met me, curious me. Career goals - Summer Research internship essay
2 - it was good...
Undergraduateolamide16 - Dec 26, 2013 / Farinaz - Dec 27, 2013
|"KEEP WORKING" - Central to identity
4 - qian1951 Excellent. It reveals a lot about your character & work ethic, while also exploring your academic interests (science/lab...
Undergraduateqian1951 - Dec 26, 2013 / cjhanna82 - Dec 27, 2013
|Computers have always played a large part in my life; NYU Supplement
Undergraduatebouzou4 - Dec 27, 2013 / bouzou4 - Dec 27, 2013
|WHY DUKE SUPP- Pratt School of Engineering- puzzles
Undergraduatehelloimyellow - Dec 26, 2013 / qian1951 - Dec 27, 2013
|Having tough Parents ; UCF
Undergraduateketura - Dec 24, 2013 / ketura - Dec 27, 2013
|My grandparent's house; Place where I am perfectly content; Princeton
4 - Wow you look good for both the common app and princeton. Maybe try to be a little less verbose/use...
Undergraduatechaitanyababu - Dec 26, 2013 / akshay1996 - Dec 27, 2013
|Click. Clack. Click. Common app essay (worried about weak ending)
Undergraduate1365violin - Dec 26, 2013 / 1365violin - Dec 27, 2013
|"Get Out Of The Building" - Background/ Central to Identity
UndergraduateBaKhai - Dec 27, 2013 / BaKhai - Dec 27, 2013
|I want to play the the role of "bread"; CENTRAL TO IDENTITY
5 - Thank you for your advice! I really appreciate the guidelines :) I'll make sure to reread my essay and...
Undergraduateonyouclee - Dec 27, 2013 / onyouclee - Dec 27, 2013
|'My friends have a running joke' Common App- Perfectly content essay.
4 - I agree with iPreo in the point that it does not answer the question appropriately, you articulated your thoughts...
Undergraduatereluctantmuggle - Dec 26, 2013 / chaitanyababu - Dec 27, 2013
|Life gives me chances, but I make my own choices; Davidson College- Why Davidson?
4 - I would suggest ending the essay with how well you will fit into the college and can't wait to...
Undergraduatekhanhluong - Dec 25, 2013 / Kondite - Dec 27, 2013
|Why Penn? I can pursue my dream of integrating science and international relations!
6 - ... I think this is really not necessary because your next line describes it all. Being with children...
Undergraduate1365violin - Dec 14, 2013 / dumi - Dec 27, 2013
|IMMIGRANTS; DISCUSS ISSUES - Local, national, international (MACAULAY HONORS COLLEGE)
3 - As recommended by my school volunteer adviser I was dismayed by this sad reality that immigrant...
UndergraduateHORACE - Dec 2, 2013 / dumi - Dec 27, 2013
|Girls shouldn't play soccer! - Incident or time when you experienced failure
Undergraduatemaryylaand - Dec 27, 2013 / toonistic - Dec 27, 2013
|Design POSTERS; MIT - PLEASURE Activity
UndergraduateTarabas12 - Dec 26, 2013 / dumi - Dec 26, 2013
|Iraq - Common App Personal Essay - Reflect on a time you challenge a belief or idea...
2 - Extremely well written essay, good topic. I'd say you're already there, but no reason to stop polishing right?...
Undergraduatecjhanna82 - Dec 26, 2013 / toonistic - Dec 26, 2013
|Four days - Mom and Dad at a time - Barnard College Supplement
5 - I really liked your essay, and don't see anything wrong with it. That's funny, I'm applying to Barnard, too,...
UndergraduateAnnieKim611 - Dec 25, 2013 / hypnotiz - Dec 26, 2013
|Depression is a curious disease; McIntire essay - Overcoming depression
3 - I agree with the previous comment about academics. I honestly do not see where you failed with academics because...
UndergraduateAmberCommerce - Dec 26, 2013 / mlozano11 - Dec 26, 2013
|POLISH. TUFTS SHORT ESSAYS... COMMENTS - GRAMMAR/CONTENT?
2 - Ummm I really like your first one... I think it's catchy and genuine, and not quite cliche. As...
Undergraduatecjhanna82 - Dec 26, 2013 / iloveyogurt - Dec 26, 2013
|Ali Forney Center for LGBT youth; SERVICE ESSAY PRINCETON
3 - The phrase is actually "reclaim your life" so that isn't wrong... What is confusing about the "importance of affinity...
Undergraduatehazelhoff - Dec 25, 2013 / hazelhoff - Dec 26, 2013
|Science Olympiad / Teaching position in China - EXTRACURRICULAR ESSAY--Which one?
Undergraduatehelloimyellow - Dec 25, 2013 / helloimyellow - Dec 26, 2013
|Archeaology of quotes - STANFORD SUPPLEMENT - What matters to you
Undergraduatehelloimyellow - Dec 24, 2013 / helloimyellow - Dec 26, 2013
|Love at first sight; Why Hamilton college?
6 - I would take a harder look at Hamilton. Go to collegeguide org and google in regard to heroin, men,...
UndergraduateNabgyamfi - Dec 25, 2013 / pstreitz - Dec 26, 2013
|Common App Essay - "I am a fighter" - Identity background or story
4 - I really struggled to find anything wrong with your essay, but I couldn't. It's engaging, genuine, and it really...
Undergraduateiloveyogurt - Dec 26, 2013 / SilverKnight - Dec 26, 2013
|Passion is my favorite word. UVA Admission Essay
2 - I think towards the end you describe your uncle too much, without much about yourself. To make this better,...
Undergraduatesangyashrestha - Dec 26, 2013 / WizFan2 - Dec 26, 2013
|Shopping with my mother and Intellectual Vitality
7 - Okay, the second one is lacking the "spark" that is supposed to be a central feature of an intellectual...
Undergraduatemlozano11 - Dec 22, 2013 / SilverKnight - Dec 26, 2013
|The Cranbrook Community - A Place where i feel completely Content
3 - To tighten up the ending... The community possesses remarkable meaning to me as an individual; It has equipped...
Undergraduaterbuttar14 - Dec 23, 2013 / cjhanna82 - Dec 26, 2013
|Why Johns Hopkins - "The Profile of a Hopkin's Student"
Undergraduateiloveyogurt - Dec 26, 2013 / olamide16 - Dec 26, 2013
|My love of puns: Middlebury optional supplement
Undergraduatethenewdude - Dec 24, 2013 / thenewdude - Dec 26, 2013
|Brown short answer essays. Where have you lived Why are you drawn to the academic subjects
UndergraduateiPreo - Dec 25, 2013 / AnnieKim611 - Dec 26, 2013
|"Optional" Why Duke? Short Answer: Undergraduate Economics
9 - I don't know; I thought about that, but I honestly think if it flows and sounds natural, then it...
UndergraduateSilverKnight - Dec 25, 2013 / SilverKnight - Dec 26, 2013
|Aspirations Vs Stereotyped Beliefs; Amherst
8 - Again, you are only focusing on one thing here ------the initial stereotype and your thoughts about it----However, the question...
Undergraduate1365violin - Dec 14, 2013 / admission2012 - Dec 26, 2013
|My Church --- Dartmouth Supplement Essay (Help me and I'll help you)
UndergraduateOryx97 - Dec 25, 2013 / iloveyogurt - Dec 26, 2013
|What differentiates us is... You are you and your thoughts; State of awareness - Uchicago
Undergraduateefaki - Dec 24, 2013 / efaki - Dec 26, 2013
|Broadening Our Perspectives: An Exploration of Our Incredible Planet - Emory Supplement
3 - You do show a passion for geographical studies and have a well organized paper. Also, there doesn't seem to...
Undergraduaterbuttar14 - Dec 24, 2013 / SilverKnight - Dec 26, 2013
|I solved the algorithm; UIUC Computer Science- Interest in Major
Undergraduateakhilles97 - Dec 24, 2013 / akhilles97 - Dec 26, 2013
|'I had failed the math section' Experiencing a failure. How did it affect you? CommonApp
2 - Hello, There are tons of grammatical errors in this essay(principle vs principal....), but others will help you with...
Undergraduatenanosuit - Dec 26, 2013 / admission2012 - Dec 26, 2013
|The Cold War - STANFORD SUPPLEMENT: Intellectual Vitality
2 - Once again, this is not intellectual vitality. Please take a look at my past posts on this topic. What...
Undergraduateadatiger96 - Dec 26, 2013 / admission2012 - Dec 26, 2013
|Before I became a bodybuilder, I was an obese teenager; A Bodybuilders tale
Undergraduatemontezuma64 - Dec 23, 2013 / dumi - Dec 26, 2013
|Language problem and Economic adversity; Princeton short essay : summer activity
3 - Here I find the problem that your ideas are scattered and fail to flow smoothly. First pick one...
Undergraduatedcmario123 - Dec 24, 2013 / dumi - Dec 25, 2013
|My mother is an OPD nurse; UVA School of Nursing Essay - EXPERIENCE
3 - "Attending the hospital"? It does not deliver any proper meaning? I think this line needs to be rephrased....
Undergraduatesangyashrestha - Dec 24, 2013 / dumi - Dec 25, 2013
|I always needed something to be obsessed with; Columbia Supp: Field of Interest
UndergraduateCarnivalOfRust - Dec 25, 2013 / dumi - Dec 25, 2013
|My School; Brown Community - Pick any community and tell us why it's important!
Undergraduatebg32 - Dec 25, 2013 / bg32 - Dec 25, 2013
|A Rare Gift - the ability to push forward regardless of the challenge.
Undergraduatedanimalfries - Dec 25, 2013 / dumi - Dec 25, 2013
|Swarthmore: what you will bring - my writer self
Undergraduateiloveyogurt - Dec 25, 2013 / admission2012 - Dec 25, 2013
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