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|Love at first sight; Why Hamilton college?
6 - I would take a harder look at Hamilton. Go to collegeguide org and google in regard to heroin, men,...
UndergraduateNabgyamfi - Dec 25, 2013 / pstreitz - Dec 26, 2013
|Common App Essay - "I am a fighter" - Identity background or story
4 - I really struggled to find anything wrong with your essay, but I couldn't. It's engaging, genuine, and it really...
Undergraduateiloveyogurt - Dec 26, 2013 / SilverKnight - Dec 26, 2013
|Passion is my favorite word. UVA Admission Essay
2 - I think towards the end you describe your uncle too much, without much about yourself. To make this better,...
Undergraduatesangyashrestha - Dec 26, 2013 / WizFan2 - Dec 26, 2013
|Shopping with my mother and Intellectual Vitality
7 - Okay, the second one is lacking the "spark" that is supposed to be a central feature of an intellectual...
Undergraduatemlozano11 - Dec 22, 2013 / SilverKnight - Dec 26, 2013
|The Cranbrook Community - A Place where i feel completely Content
3 - To tighten up the ending... The community possesses remarkable meaning to me as an individual; It has equipped...
Undergraduaterbuttar14 - Dec 23, 2013 / cjhanna82 - Dec 26, 2013
|Why Johns Hopkins - "The Profile of a Hopkin's Student"
Undergraduateiloveyogurt - Dec 26, 2013 / olamide16 - Dec 26, 2013
|My love of puns: Middlebury optional supplement
Undergraduatethenewdude - Dec 24, 2013 / thenewdude - Dec 26, 2013
|Brown short answer essays. Where have you lived Why are you drawn to the academic subjects
UndergraduateiPreo - Dec 25, 2013 / AnnieKim611 - Dec 26, 2013
|"Optional" Why Duke? Short Answer: Undergraduate Economics
9 - I don't know; I thought about that, but I honestly think if it flows and sounds natural, then it...
UndergraduateSilverKnight - Dec 25, 2013 / SilverKnight - Dec 26, 2013
|Aspirations Vs Stereotyped Beliefs; Amherst
8 - Again, you are only focusing on one thing here ------the initial stereotype and your thoughts about it----However, the question...
Undergraduate1365violin - Dec 14, 2013 / admission2012 - Dec 26, 2013
|My Church --- Dartmouth Supplement Essay (Help me and I'll help you)
UndergraduateOryx97 - Dec 25, 2013 / iloveyogurt - Dec 26, 2013
|What differentiates us is... You are you and your thoughts; State of awareness - Uchicago
Undergraduateefaki - Dec 24, 2013 / efaki - Dec 26, 2013
|Broadening Our Perspectives: An Exploration of Our Incredible Planet - Emory Supplement
3 - You do show a passion for geographical studies and have a well organized paper. Also, there doesn't seem to...
Undergraduaterbuttar14 - Dec 24, 2013 / SilverKnight - Dec 26, 2013
|I solved the algorithm; UIUC Computer Science- Interest in Major
Undergraduateakhilles97 - Dec 24, 2013 / akhilles97 - Dec 26, 2013
|'I had failed the math section' Experiencing a failure. How did it affect you? CommonApp
2 - Hello, There are tons of grammatical errors in this essay(principle vs principal....), but others will help you with...
Undergraduatenanosuit - Dec 26, 2013 / admission2012 - Dec 26, 2013
|The Cold War - STANFORD SUPPLEMENT: Intellectual Vitality
2 - Once again, this is not intellectual vitality. Please take a look at my past posts on this topic. What...
Undergraduateadatiger96 - Dec 26, 2013 / admission2012 - Dec 26, 2013
|Before I became a bodybuilder, I was an obese teenager; A Bodybuilders tale
Undergraduatemontezuma64 - Dec 23, 2013 / dumi - Dec 26, 2013
|Language problem and Economic adversity; Princeton short essay : summer activity
3 - Here I find the problem that your ideas are scattered and fail to flow smoothly. First pick one...
Undergraduatedcmario123 - Dec 24, 2013 / dumi - Dec 25, 2013
|My mother is an OPD nurse; UVA School of Nursing Essay - EXPERIENCE
3 - "Attending the hospital"? It does not deliver any proper meaning? I think this line needs to be rephrased....
Undergraduatesangyashrestha - Dec 24, 2013 / dumi - Dec 25, 2013
|I always needed something to be obsessed with; Columbia Supp: Field of Interest
UndergraduateCarnivalOfRust - Dec 25, 2013 / dumi - Dec 25, 2013
|My School; Brown Community - Pick any community and tell us why it's important!
Undergraduatebg32 - Dec 25, 2013 / bg32 - Dec 25, 2013
|A Rare Gift - the ability to push forward regardless of the challenge.
Undergraduatedanimalfries - Dec 25, 2013 / dumi - Dec 25, 2013
|Swarthmore: what you will bring - my writer self
Undergraduateiloveyogurt - Dec 25, 2013 / admission2012 - Dec 25, 2013
|BURNING HOME; Williams College - Reflect on the scene
2 - Your house burning down doesn't really show how you've matured and discovered who you are. Elaborate on how your...
UndergraduateAlbertMartinez - Dec 25, 2013 / Kondite - Dec 25, 2013
|Tennis - Briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences.
UndergraduateJax13 - Dec 25, 2013 / Jax13 - Dec 25, 2013
|The little girl who influenced me; Princeton essay
7 - [[[Unconsciously, the summer after encountering her with hostility in India, I became an avid volunteer.]]] changed my career path...
Undergraduatettejo - Dec 21, 2013 / AnnieKim611 - Dec 25, 2013
|Eco-Protectors; Vanderbilt supp - Extra curricular activities.
7 - Although they want you to describe, I think you sort of have to provide more of your own perspective...
Undergraduatethenewdude - Dec 20, 2013 / akshay1996 - Dec 25, 2013
|AMHERST COLLEGE - Supplement "Stereotype"
UndergraduateOMGreeny - Dec 25, 2013 / OMGreeny - Dec 25, 2013
|"You are an idiot"- Background Story/ Central to Identity
UndergraduateRiyasat - Dec 25, 2013 / Riyasat - Dec 25, 2013
|Letter to the Ministry of Education; Dartmouth:Extracurricular activities/Work experience
4 - Thank you for your advice, admission2012. What about this one? I just wanted to tell that my writing was...
Undergraduatealiefmoulana - Dec 24, 2013 / aliefmoulana - Dec 25, 2013
|A Greenhorn Breeder - NUS admission essay
Undergraduatef_auryn - Dec 24, 2013 / Riyasat - Dec 25, 2013
|The last 4 months have been an important journey for me; Readmission Essay
UndergraduateLadyRoss - Dec 21, 2013 / linmark - Dec 25, 2013
|Humanitarian Club - Boston University's reason for applying
2 - I think you do bring out your interest forcefully. Don't worry about that. About the word limit thing, here...
Undergraduatedeeisawesome - Dec 24, 2013 / thenewdude - Dec 25, 2013
|Rice University - Extracurricular essay - Tennis Shows My Personality
3 - Thank you LiangWu! :) Your suggestion was really helpful. I tried to emphasize the process of changing a bit...
Undergraduatewinginger - Dec 24, 2013 / winginger - Dec 24, 2013
|I want to build, design and innovate the world of tomorrow; U Toronto(Engineering)
NEW - I would really appreciate it if some could read it over and tell me what they think about the...
UndergraduateSewar - Dec 24, 2013 / — -
|"Let's not do anything today"; Northwestern Qualities Economics
Undergraduatebriankimbk - Dec 23, 2013 / briankimbk - Dec 24, 2013
|Batter's box/ Writing; USC Short Answers -extracurricular/academic interests
3 - very well written overall. However, here are my 2cents: source of some of my greatest... - source of...
UndergraduateSilverKnight - Nov 17, 2013 / thenewdude - Dec 24, 2013
|Common Apps - Short Answer Question [activity question]
3 - Pick a specific issue in your home country and explain how you would solve it. Also, talk about how...
Undergraduatekids_jessy - Sep 23, 2008 / akhilles97 - Dec 24, 2013
|Everyone Hates Me - common app Prompt 1 (Background)
Undergraduateosamausa - Dec 24, 2013 / osamausa - Dec 24, 2013
|Year of track and field (nursing my injury) - Common App
NEW - Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you...
UndergraduateJeremiahD - Dec 24, 2013 / — -
|Why I want to train at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts! Goals and objectives
Undergraduatedlp99 - Dec 24, 2013 / osamausa - Dec 24, 2013
|Indian-American/Dr. K's class - Diversity and "Why Caltech?"
2 - Being brutally honest? You're too honest. "Caltech is the sole university where all students are consistently held to exacting...
UndergraduateVP0494 - Dec 24, 2013 / toonistic - Dec 24, 2013
|When you dream, anything is possible; Perfectly content.
2 - I think it should be better for you to follow the paragraph structure, or perhaps start doing so from...
Undergraduatexnakelx - Dec 23, 2013 / toonistic - Dec 24, 2013
|(rigorous and unsurpassed education system) First generation
Undergraduateefaki - Dec 23, 2013 / efaki - Dec 24, 2013
|Dribble. Shoot. Score.; Rice Application Essay - Extracurricular Activity
3 - Hello winginger, Thank you for your feedback. I was wondering if any parts of my essay demonstrated my...
Undergraduatekevyn33 - Dec 23, 2013 / kevyn33 - Dec 24, 2013
|I have good news for you buddy; Letter to your Future Room-mate ; Stanford
6 - Well,in order to catch Admission members attention you have to be unique. Those people read tons of essay and...
Undergraduateibrahimsf - Dec 23, 2013 / OneStorytoTell - Dec 24, 2013
|Stanford; Books matter to me
Undergraduateibrahimsf - Dec 24, 2013 / ibrahimsf - Dec 24, 2013
|openness and positivism- Vanderbilt Extracurricular Activity Writing Supplement
2 - "It was a residential center, one of those that didn't utilize methadone or any other drug to help the...
UndergraduateSic - Dec 24, 2013 / efaki - Dec 24, 2013
|'vital in our everyday lives' The Importance of Business Education COMMERCE
Undergraduateloopstar - Dec 24, 2013 / loopstar - Dec 24, 2013
|My Mechanical Engineering World; UC - World I come from
10 - dumi, thank you very much for suggesting! I am still working on this essay to make it better! I...
Undergraduatedorothyoy - Nov 29, 2013 / dorothyoy - Dec 24, 2013
|NYU Supplement " I have an insatiable desire to improve."
Undergraduatemnkyzeb - Dec 22, 2013 / admission2012 - Dec 24, 2013
|The death of my mentor; Significant Challenge
3 - The challenge is that I have to continue on in life without him... How is it not elaborated in...
Undergraduatemontezuma64 - Dec 22, 2013 / montezuma64 - Dec 24, 2013
|Birth mortality rate in Ghana; Central to Identity
2 - Wow, it's a very essay powerful. A bit morbid at the beginning, but it is quite inspirational....
UndergraduateRoknod20 - Dec 23, 2013 / Sic - Dec 24, 2013
|I have keen interest in farming - a story that tells my identity.
UndergraduateHemc - Dec 7, 2013 / dumi - Dec 24, 2013
|Childhood obesity numbers are increasing; Childhood Obesity Research Paper
4 - The government has developed many different programs to save nation's children from this issue. These programs are focused...
Undergraduatepwags - Dec 21, 2013 / dumi - Dec 24, 2013
|BLACK AND POOR; Paper on examining the connection of violence with minorities
2 - This paper will examine the connection between violence and minorities with a focus on the relationship between disparity,...
Undergraduatebigman504 - Dec 21, 2013 / dumi - Dec 24, 2013
|Syracuse - who/what influenced ; dream person; work experience;real-world experiences
Undergraduatemrth - Dec 21, 2013 / dumi - Dec 24, 2013
|My Favorite Word is "Weird" - UVA supplement
3 - ....:D ...LOL ....This is very interesting :D The "I" before "E" rule is totally thrown out of the...
Undergraduatestemerson - Dec 14, 2013 / dumi - Dec 24, 2013
|What is your favorite word and Why? - Ambition ( UVA)
6 - Colleges don't care about dictionary definitions of words, as they already know them. They want to know your definition...
Undergraduatesudhansu007 - Dec 20, 2013 / rbuttar14 - Dec 24, 2013
|'online brochure of Art center' -THE WORLD I COME FROM (I WILL MAJOR IN DESIGN MEDIA ART)
3 - I thought middle school students don't need an ambitiousambition or a long-term dream. / I thought middle school students...
Undergraduateechonij - Nov 24, 2013 / dumi - Dec 24, 2013
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