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|MATURING FROM THE IMMATURE / REACHING FOR THE TOP BRANCH
3 - .... you don't have to tell every detail. Applying is implied by the first part of this line....
Undergraduatesebastianb - Nov 22, 2013 / dumi - Dec 24, 2013
|Caste. Princeton Undergraduate Essay- How do we unlearn the practices of inequality?
6 - I think you misunderstood my point. Firstly, *racial* inequality refers to ill-treatment on the basis of color, birth or...
UndergraduateAminoPasta - Dec 18, 2013 / AminoPasta - Dec 24, 2013
|I was a teenager thrust into the world of adults; COMMON APP
6 - Well.... here the concentration should be more on the place. Yes, you should talk about the experience and its...
Undergraduatenatantantan - Dec 22, 2013 / dumi - Dec 24, 2013
|Freshman with broken English - Failure, and how it affected me and lessons I learned
5 - Hi mike0108! I agree with Dumi. It's pretty tiring reading your essay. Use period (.) instead of comma....
Undergraduatemike01082 - Dec 8, 2013 / niesaysi - Dec 23, 2013
|Representative - Why Columbia Essay
4 - the specificity is good, it shows that you've done your research but be sure to elaborate more on Columbia...
UndergraduateKapurAS - Dec 23, 2013 / roxy481 - Dec 23, 2013
|I have been vexed... WHY YALE SUPPLEMENT: Cultural diversity
3 - how about if you discuss something you're particularly interested in studying, and how Yale can help you do that....
UndergraduateNiania - Dec 23, 2013 / eliana375 - Dec 23, 2013
|What makes me unique UCF Undergrad Essay Revision
2 - "My mind extends far past the simple worries of what others think" seems kind of arrogant. A bit of...
Undergraduateliammahon - Dec 22, 2013 / akhilles97 - Dec 23, 2013
|Why Brown? Essay: "Freedom, Challenge, Writing, Diversity, and Providence"
UndergraduateSilverKnight - Dec 23, 2013 / SilverKnight - Dec 23, 2013
|Why UW-Madison? Range of career paths
3 - There is no specific word limit, but UW-Madison's writing tip says 500 words would be sufficient....
Undergraduateddeegiizaya - Dec 22, 2013 / ddeegiizaya - Dec 23, 2013
|Longboarding Makes Me Happy - Tufts Supplement
Undergraduatecollegebound246 - Dec 22, 2013 / collegebound246 - Dec 23, 2013
|"GlobeMed at Emory" is one that truly sparks my interest- Emory Sup
Undergraduaterbuttar14 - Dec 23, 2013 / rbuttar14 - Dec 23, 2013
|self-taught guitar player - Duke Supplemental #2 - extracurricular activities
Undergraduatevarroyo79 - Dec 23, 2013 / rbuttar14 - Dec 23, 2013
|Biology science, Leprosy Hospital, CALS - Help with Cornell Essay
3 - This is called a "writing crutch." Do not do it. Put your response in a complete essay like everyone...
Undergraduateakshay1996 - Dec 22, 2013 / admission2012 - Dec 23, 2013
|Detesting Poetry - UNC (Curiosity led me to somewhere I didn't expect)
2 - well written, feel it answers the prompt well. I like the way the nonchalant mood of the first half...
Undergraduatemmigombo - Dec 22, 2013 / bolu - Dec 23, 2013
|Different cultures experience Rice suppl. What personal perspective can you bring to Rice?
NEW - Hi everyone pls feel free to critique this as much as possible! Prompt: The Committee on Admission is...
Undergraduatewsywsy108108 - Dec 23, 2013 / — -
|The Undercover Economist - Why UChicago Essay Supplement
UndergraduateRvi - Dec 23, 2013 / wsywsy108108 - Dec 23, 2013
|I remember the first time my lung collapsed; CENTRAL TO IDENTITY
Undergraduatepterodactyldave - Dec 22, 2013 / dumi - Dec 23, 2013
|Why Yale? passionate about teaching
5 - I love your new essay! It seems more personal than before and clearly shows your interest in Yale. A...
Undergraduatehazelhoff - Dec 22, 2013 / Kondite - Dec 23, 2013
|Drowning is not an option. John Hopkins U Essay - interests/pursuits/passions/experiences
Undergraduatetnguyen22 - Dec 21, 2013 / tnguyen22 - Dec 22, 2013
|Computer networking ; Personal Statement - Brunei
2 - Hello, All these things you did in the past are impressive! :) However, I think you should read...
Undergraduateaboham - Dec 21, 2013 / ddeegiizaya - Dec 22, 2013
|My dad matters to me. Stanford Supplement: What matters to you and why?
2 - Looks good for a first draft. What is the word limit? If there's none, I highly suggest expounding more...
Undergraduatemirchififteen - Dec 22, 2013 / Prinz18 - Dec 22, 2013
|Transitional periods are always difficult; Rice supplement essay for fall 2014 !!
2 - Transitional periods are always difficult. Try to clarify the relationship between transitional periods and your entrance exam....
Undergraduateprayush09 - Dec 22, 2013 / mirchififteen - Dec 22, 2013
|I was surrounded by ever-changing views; Common App Prompt 4
3 - This is actually an awesome essay! The only thing that I would tell you to change is maybe focus...
Undergraduatesanatm - Nov 6, 2013 / ttejo - Dec 22, 2013
|'diverse curriculum' Northwestern Supplement 2013 - Weinberg College
3 - I think it's a really good essay! It shows what specific things about Northwestern you love, but I think...
Undergraduatesdbobby - Dec 21, 2013 / sanatm - Dec 22, 2013
|"Bir Shrestha Jahangir House" - Letter of Recommendation for my student(UG Application)
3 - Hey! you're nepali. I do feel that this is really awesome recommendation letter. By the way, I am Nepali...
UndergraduateAbul - Dec 21, 2013 / sudhansu007 - Dec 22, 2013
|My mother never returned; CENTRAL TO IDENTITY
Undergraduatevarroyo79 - Dec 19, 2013 / montezuma64 - Dec 22, 2013
|Brown University Short Answers: Why I'm drawn to economics and writing/My Asian Heritage
2 - Your community supplement is amazing. I honestly felt proud of myself for being Asian at that moment! Although...
UndergraduateSilverKnight - Dec 21, 2013 / akshay1996 - Dec 22, 2013
|Soaring Higher - NUS admission essay - personal experience or an activity
2 - The starting of the essay is great, but remember - the prompt is asking for a personal experience or...
UndergraduateAngie_Felicia - Dec 22, 2013 / akshay1996 - Dec 22, 2013
|'Allowing myself to learn' - University of Chicago Essay! Why UC?
5 - UChicago has quite an interesting and quirky spirit (just one look at the past essay prompts tells you a...
Undergraduatepunkiebell17 - Oct 25, 2013 / Sic - Dec 22, 2013
|PEEDA; Rice supp- extracurricular activities or work experiences
Undergraduateprayush09 - Dec 15, 2013 / prayush09 - Dec 22, 2013
|Undergrad Writing Course Assignment - Compare/Contrast Essay - "Everyday Use" by A. Walker
Undergraduatepolanit - Dec 18, 2013 / prayush09 - Dec 22, 2013
|My heart has always been in the fashion industry; WHY FIT?
Undergraduaterasnerdyer - Dec 19, 2013 / dumi - Dec 22, 2013
|Recount a Failure -- "Always Try" - common app
Undergraduateworriedjuan123 - Dec 21, 2013 / farideh - Dec 21, 2013
|I push my way through the crowded path ; World I come from
4 - I really liked you essay. In the first paragraph you have very well described your surrounding, and daily schedule....
Undergraduateduquevan - Dec 20, 2013 / farideh - Dec 21, 2013
|"The scenery, academy and community" Why Madison
2 - By quickly reading your essay like an admissions officer, I get the feel that you want to go to...
Undergraduatexujunjiejack - Dec 21, 2013 / Kondite - Dec 21, 2013
|Georgetown: Used to be embarrassed about being Asian. Who am I?
Undergraduateyennhihoang - Dec 21, 2013 / roscon1995 - Dec 21, 2013
|Why Northwestern? Essay: Economics Program/Broad Choices/Values/Chicago
UndergraduateSilverKnight - Dec 21, 2013 / SilverKnight - Dec 21, 2013
|Under a single roof - CENTRAL TO IDENTITY
2 - The content of your essay is outstanding. It's heartfelt and sincere, which is just what colleges want from an...
Undergraduateharpreet3254 - Dec 21, 2013 / SilverKnight - Dec 21, 2013
|Singing - Stanford: briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work
Undergraduateleeshaaa28 - Dec 21, 2013 / yennhihoang - Dec 21, 2013
|Georgetown: Summer Activity- Debate Camp
NEW - Debate provides a unique place to have conversations and in turn creates an inclusive community that allows for the...
Undergraduateyennhihoang - Dec 21, 2013 / — -
|'Senior Year' Georgetown essay- it is too long what should I cut?
3 - Senior year is about the future. Everyone'sis talking about what they are doing after high school and with their...
Undergraduatemarijkelandon - Dec 21, 2013 / yennhihoang - Dec 21, 2013
|I love math and problem solving. Why Duke Supplemental Essay. Max 150 words.
2 - I think by saying "ranks among the top ten national universities and its small classes of about twenty students...
Undergraduatevarroyo79 - Dec 21, 2013 / yennhihoang - Dec 21, 2013
|CAMCORDER; UVA essay - Small funded engineering project
UndergraduateOneStorytoTell - Dec 20, 2013 / OneStorytoTell - Dec 21, 2013
|Virginia Tech- The best day of my life so far was...Pole Vaulting
2 - This is good! You've captivated the reader from the first two sentences. You might want to consider using parallelism...
Undergraduateroscon1995 - Dec 21, 2013 / aaamonicaaa - Dec 21, 2013
|I was 16 when I first started going to the gym - experience vs perspective
Undergraduatemontezuma64 - Dec 21, 2013 / aaamonicaaa - Dec 21, 2013
|U.S. AND IRAN SEEK OUT NUCLEAR DEAL. ISRAEL ENRAGED; EC Essay on MUN Crisis
3 - thank you! I revised it a little bit- not too much, because of the word restraints, but hopefully...
Undergraduateroxy481 - Dec 20, 2013 / roxy481 - Dec 21, 2013
|'The Moon?' ~ COMMON App - SOP
Undergraduatelinahcharif - Dec 19, 2013 / dumi - Dec 21, 2013
|I have always been fascinated with personalities; Transfer
2 - I have always been fascinated with personalities. Dating back to my middle school days, I would wonder as to...
Undergraduatesalivo13 - Dec 20, 2013 / leeshaaa28 - Dec 21, 2013
|I was immediately adopted by a loving,single,gay dad! - UC - the world you come from
UndergraduateSophieZ - Nov 29, 2013 / dumi - Dec 21, 2013
|Common App - Recount a Failure - "Missed Shot"
2 - A couple of photographs of people smiling hung on the wall attempt (in an attempt) to make the room...
Undergraduatejgpadgettpro - Dec 20, 2013 / roscon1995 - Dec 21, 2013
|Commonapp essay 2 - an experience in tutoring
2 - underperforming ; sounds awkward There were many student tutors who did less well than me ;very awkard He understood...
UndergraduateLiyuan - Dec 20, 2013 / roscon1995 - Dec 21, 2013
|Uchicago supplement essay - Do animals feel pain?
UndergraduateLiyuan - Dec 16, 2013 / Liyuan - Dec 20, 2013
|Minnesota essay- earth science - educational interests and goals
2 - I would encourage you to use a different writing strategy. Your essay sounds as if you narrate it from...
Undergraduate1101_rin - Dec 15, 2013 / duquevan - Dec 20, 2013
|"Management of drainage systems"; Lehigh Supp
Undergraduateprayush09 - Dec 17, 2013 / prayush09 - Dec 20, 2013
|Chess themed - Background Story/ Central to identity
3 - I think what you are trying to do here is show how through playing Chess, your father was able...
Undergraduaterichypie - Dec 20, 2013 / admission2012 - Dec 20, 2013
|Learning about courage and compassion: Princeton's supplementary essay
4 - Thanks 9muses! How about I use "Little did I know God does listen to little kids!" instead of...
Undergraduatethenewdude - Dec 20, 2013 / thenewdude - Dec 20, 2013
|SUCCESS THROUGH OPPURTUNITY; NYU Supplement for Admission
Undergraduatethartistoo - Dec 19, 2013 / thartistoo - Dec 20, 2013
|Hydrophobia; College of William and Mary ; optional opportunity
5 - I like your essay. However, I feel like you should organize your sentence structure in your last few concluding...
Undergraduatesudhansu007 - Dec 19, 2013 / ranin - Dec 20, 2013
|'meaningful activities' Princeton - How I Spent My Last Two Summers
4 - While you have a great essay, I really don't think you should start with this sentence, it seems cliche...
Undergraduatechandescartes - Dec 19, 2013 / olamide16 - Dec 20, 2013
|'my foremost passion' - Stanford's Intellectual Vitality, "What is math?"
6 - maybe you dont focus too much on that proof but also talk about how it intrested you that you...
Undergraduatechandescartes - Dec 19, 2013 / bolu - Dec 20, 2013
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