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|TWILIGHT; Became confident more than ever
3 - What is the prompt ? You should include that with your essay for others to understand your writing better...
UndergraduateMirana_Alam - Dec 9, 2013 / dumi - Dec 19, 2013
|Drinking and Driving @ a B'day party ; COMMON APP
7 - I think it does and I can relate considering that I only recently got my driver's permit at 22....
Undergraduatecms3z - Dec 2, 2007 / Prinz18 - Dec 19, 2013
|I spend a majority of my time in Room 24, the home of Titan Shield; USC- Extracurricular
2 - On my friends' recommendation, I joined Titan Shield during my sophomore year and soon it became my second...
Undergraduateck1121 - Dec 16, 2013 / dumi - Dec 19, 2013
|Why University of Chicago? One of the BEST!
Undergraduatecommonapper - Dec 19, 2013 / — -
|"You shouldn't let your fear take over your pleasure"; Urbana Champaign
2 - You overcame your fear of the ocean. It does go with the topic. But I feel you could elaborate...
Undergraduatecoolgirl3456 - Dec 16, 2013 / AminoPasta - Dec 18, 2013
|I'm going to honest with you; Personal Statement for NCSU
2 - There are so many examples of good personal statements available on this website. I cannot think of any program...
Undergraduatehifromcharle - Dec 18, 2013 / admission2012 - Dec 18, 2013
|Williams supplement- looking through a window at the Swiss Alps
Undergraduatestarkeko - Dec 11, 2013 / trulls77 - Dec 18, 2013
|I am no stranger to getting punched in the face; Martial Arts -Childhood to Adulthood
4 - Thanks so much. I expanded a little more on the transition theme, and I deleted most of the third...
Undergraduatetrulls77 - Dec 10, 2013 / trulls77 - Dec 18, 2013
|Common App essay- our farewell ceremony
2 - This essay has potential but it reads very cluttered and unstructured. Try to keep these essays clean, clear and...
UndergraduatePhoenix21 - Dec 18, 2013 / admission2012 - Dec 18, 2013
|"Christmas present" ; University of Wisconsin Madison -- Unnoticed
3 - thank you for replying sanzhar! do you think you could elaborate a little bit? I think i know what...
Undergraduatewafish - Dec 17, 2013 / wafish - Dec 18, 2013
|Reading - Busy life/Activity for Pleasure Essay - MIT
Undergraduatekaranbhullar - Dec 14, 2013 / karanbhullar - Dec 18, 2013
|They suffer Malnutrition and traumatisation; Vanderbilt Sup- Extracurricular
Undergraduatedeenaraef18 - Dec 18, 2013 / deenaraef18 - Dec 18, 2013
|Why Lafayette?/ Difference between being busy and being engaged
2 - [i][i]Since I was very young, I have always wondered how the worlds go around. Why do I lean forward...
Undergraduatewhatevergoogle - Dec 18, 2013 / sanzhar - Dec 18, 2013
|More unpredictability means more possibility. Stanford supp: What matters to you and why?
Undergraduatewsywsy108108 - Dec 17, 2013 / bolu - Dec 18, 2013
|Intellectual Vitality- Stanford supplement " Wisdom from an unexpected source"
3 - Thanks :) I reread this essay the next day and I didn't think it worked either. working on another...
UndergraduatePhoenix21 - Dec 16, 2013 / Phoenix21 - Dec 18, 2013
|Personal Issue of Importance Essay -Harry Potter themed!
Undergraduateupsidedownn - Dec 17, 2013 / Jared961286 - Dec 18, 2013
|Student Diversity and Cultural Fusion;WHY NYU? / Academic intersts
UndergraduateJared961286 - Dec 18, 2013 / Jared961286 - Dec 18, 2013
|Ohe Efe Bo; UW-Milwaukee Admission Essay; Life experience/ talent/commitment/ interest
UndergraduateNogaFaithh - Dec 17, 2013 / dumi - Dec 18, 2013
|UWS Research - Research about a Nonviolent Movement
Undergraduateslylinda - Nov 30, 2013 / ali ahsan123 - Dec 18, 2013
|passionate about exploring -Rice Univ., why do you choose that particular school of study?
UndergraduateFYPSirius - Dec 17, 2013 / FYPSirius - Dec 18, 2013
|I CALL IT A REVELATION; common application essay
UndergraduateSHE83 - Dec 16, 2013 / dumi - Dec 18, 2013
|Cornell ILR Supplement- The Power of Organization
UndergraduateJimschen - Dec 14, 2013 / admission2012 - Dec 17, 2013
|I love to learn about Sola system & Universe; Urbana champaign essay - interest in major
Undergraduatekaranbhullar - Dec 15, 2013 / dumi - Dec 17, 2013
|Volunteering/ Exam time; UBC- Experience/ Significant Challenge
2 - Hello David, I hope this helps... Although I am in no condition to correct your grammar(I am international)...
UndergraduateDavidL - Dec 9, 2013 / duquevan - Dec 16, 2013
|experience important to my intellectual development
UndergraduateRo4 - Dec 13, 2013 / Pahan - Dec 16, 2013
|Musical Theater student ; Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse?
Undergraduategcarrubba - Dec 9, 2013 / gcarrubba - Dec 16, 2013
|I always saw them asking for help; Princeton- "Princeton in the Nation's Service"
Undergraduateawoniyi641 - Dec 14, 2013 / SHE83 - Dec 16, 2013
|Think independently!; University of Chicago - learning, community, and future
2 - I think that you should add creativity to your essay , just make it easy and interesting to read....
Undergraduatemsbluealien - Dec 14, 2013 / sanzhar - Dec 16, 2013
|Home (far from) - Georgia Tech essay: Interest in Georgia Tech/What will I contribute?
Undergraduatepoptarttoasta - Dec 15, 2013 / karanbhullar - Dec 16, 2013
|Biology defines life ; Cornell Essay ; MAJOR
Undergraduateandrewb495 - Dec 14, 2013 / andrewb495 - Dec 15, 2013
|Travel Writing summer program in Australia; Irish Fiddling - Why BU?
2 - You need to talk about how you can contribute in the community. BU is a good school, they know...
Undergraduatequetzaltenango - Dec 15, 2013 / Superjaniter - Dec 15, 2013
|Figure skating has revolved around my life ; Meaningful Activity/ Common App
2 - It sounds, excellent, you have a solid writing style. I would just reword a few things. "Figure skating...
UndergraduateLala77 - Dec 15, 2013 / thartistoo - Dec 15, 2013
|My dream of becoming an Economist! ; Why Davidson College?
2 - To achieve admission at Davidson, a highly prestigious liberal arts college with a very low acceptance rate, one must...
UndergraduateSHE83 - Dec 15, 2013 / deviantzen - Dec 15, 2013
|Admission essay for Texas State- "Describe a circumstance in your life that changed you"
Undergraduatebmcarlin - Dec 14, 2013 / SHE83 - Dec 15, 2013
|I had the idea to rebuild my entire syste - MIT admissions question- significant challenge
5 - Thanks :)...
Undergraduatefraserp - Dec 12, 2013 / fraserp - Dec 15, 2013
|I believe NYIT will help me achieve what I dreamed of when I was young
UndergraduateFlit - Dec 13, 2013 / Ubcappin - Dec 14, 2013
|Georgia Tech Essay-Why do I want to attend and can contribute to GA Tech.
Undergraduateacewashere - Dec 13, 2013 / meatheadmanny - Dec 14, 2013
|"What are the three types of rocks?"; Common App Essay.
Undergraduatevarroyo79 - Dec 14, 2013 / Utau4928 - Dec 14, 2013
|"Obstinate- to obstruct"; UVA-Word Essay 2013 (Evanescent changed me)
Undergraduatettejo - Dec 14, 2013 / varroyo79 - Dec 14, 2013
|"Everybody is a genius"; Why Fashion Institute of Technology (Merchandising)?
3 - Thanks for all the good Feedback. And for the part about being a doctar or lawyer I'm not sure...
UndergraduateLexus Nicole - Dec 14, 2013 / Lexus Nicole - Dec 14, 2013
|My liberal attitude; Why Yale? - architecture and communication
Undergraduateyx_wang - Dec 14, 2013 / yx_wang - Dec 14, 2013
|Bowdoin supplement - The common good
2 - I agree with your friend. You are already beginning to write about how it affects you personally and how...
UndergraduateMarsbar - Dec 13, 2013 / mj2794 - Dec 13, 2013
|What is your favorite word and why? - Honesty
6 - michael_brand1 Thank you for your advice. What was your impression when you finished reading my essay?...
UndergraduateUtau4928 - Dec 10, 2013 / Utau4928 - Dec 13, 2013
|The problem and damage of immigrants in big centers.
2 - This situation leads to low wages while increasing unemployment rate due to higher supply in the labor market....
Undergraduategabriellemes - Dec 12, 2013 / dumi - Dec 13, 2013
|I immerse myself in a community with a rich mix of individuals; NYU (250-500 words)
2 - The first two sentences feel like a filler as they don't really have any connection with what you want...
Undergraduateyyc1 - Dec 12, 2013 / acewashere - Dec 13, 2013
|My running experience -Common App #2 "Learning from failure"
Undergraduateandresat - Dec 11, 2013 / dumi - Dec 13, 2013
|I am an artist (COMMON APP) - CENTRAL TO IDENTITY
Undergraduateacewashere - Dec 11, 2013 / acewashere - Dec 12, 2013
|One should have an aim in life; U Toronto; Engineering
4 - .... Well, you open your response with a bit of a negative sentiment .... Telling them that you...
Undergraduatekhanraf3 - Dec 10, 2013 / dumi - Dec 12, 2013
|'studying at Cate' - "Writing a novel is like driving a car at night"
4 - Why do you sound so uncertain? I don't think such negativity would help you impress anybody. You need...
Undergraduatekesangla - Dec 10, 2013 / dumi - Dec 12, 2013
|It was an eye-widening experience ; Place where I perfectly content
2 - First, you should have a more meaningful title for your thread. (I had to attend to this one) It...
Undergraduateyyc1 - Dec 12, 2013 / dumi - Dec 12, 2013
|(Inspiration through Defeat) - Common app: Prompt 2/Failure
2 - I personally think this is very well written. You bring up some really good points about how this failure...
UndergraduateOneiromancer - Dec 12, 2013 / yyc1 - Dec 12, 2013
|FIT entrance essay; Advantage of Florida Tech's Melbourne campus location
2 - This was good! I made some minor corrections. As for the word count, just try and elaborate some more....
UndergraduateBamboojack - Dec 8, 2013 / AlecSalisbury - Dec 12, 2013
|Why Georgia Tech? Provide me with the best education to start a career in computer science
5 - i would maybe make some changes in your last sentence. maybe something along the lines of: "Georgia...
UndergraduateValerio95 - Dec 12, 2013 / yyc1 - Dec 12, 2013
|I was supposed to write an essay about my identity and use a picture of myself..
4 - The overall component really flowed well, especially how you transitioned into speaking about how your background also influences your...
Undergraduatedaydreamer08 - Dec 4, 2013 / deeisawesome - Dec 12, 2013
|Shy girl who uses books; Something in my life I think goes unnoticed.
2 - Fernandam7 Hi, Fernandam7 Woa, you're a truly bookworm. you believe 100% on book's words, that's cool. i think you...
UndergraduateFernandam7 - Dec 9, 2013 / Ilmiyatin - Dec 12, 2013
|The volunteering programs offered at Emory University - programs/activities
Undergraduateyyc1 - Dec 11, 2013 / yyc1 - Dec 12, 2013
|(my world could be my home with my family) UC PROMPT HELP?
Undergraduatetanzeem - Nov 22, 2013 / dumi - Dec 12, 2013
|"Math just makes sense"- UC Transfer personal statement #1
3 - .... the latter part sounds redundant. ... but math has always been the subject that I liked and...
Undergraduatelexie94 - Nov 18, 2013 / dumi - Dec 12, 2013
|emory university- create your own course
Undergraduateyyc1 - Dec 11, 2013 / S9595 - Dec 12, 2013
|Texas Tech Essay-Electricity & Music/ Education and career goals
Undergraduatemichael_brand1 - Dec 11, 2013 / yyc1 - Dec 11, 2013
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