|Undergraduate [25,739] - page 86 of 429|
|Medicine has long been a dream of mine; Brown PLME -Experiences/ Why a good fit?
4 - Yeah you might as well just stop now, especially if everyone who has read it says it's great....
UndergraduateNerdFighter - Nov 30, 2013 / Th25cc - Nov 30, 2013
|My trip to Sandy Island - group experience and role in it
4 - Great story, but it seems a little lifeless...maybe some more descriptions would connect your sentences a little...
Undergraduateivylaw - Nov 29, 2013 / NerdFighter - Nov 30, 2013
|'Corduroy pants' - Common App Enough reflection?
4 - Wow you are a great writer! I would agree with riosons to focus a little more on the self-respect...
Undergraduatefooley0401 - Nov 30, 2013 / NerdFighter - Nov 30, 2013
|'My cousin took her life' - Macaulay Honors Essay #1 - Personal Experince
Undergraduatedabbh1997 - Nov 26, 2013 / dabbh1997 - Nov 30, 2013
|I started my education in a Japanese school, in Indonesia; Common App
Undergraduatealicia373 - Nov 28, 2013 / dumi - Nov 30, 2013
|Military contracting Firm; Common App USC- use your engineering degree to benefit society?
Undergraduatelapd_ray - Nov 28, 2013 / dumi - Nov 30, 2013
|Anti-bullying rally ; Dealing with different ideas
2 - Well... I feel you should give more focus to your niece's story first and then talk about your...
Undergraduateamarao96 - Nov 28, 2013 / dumi - Nov 30, 2013
|'Life in a different world' - Benefiting and Contributing:Rutgers
2 - Hello Melonsv! I'll just try to tell my own thoughts. The prompt is asking you to write an essay...
UndergraduateMelonsv - Nov 29, 2013 / n_d - Nov 30, 2013
|'Yearbooks and peers' - USC - Annenberg Statement of Intent
Undergraduatejackieelynnn - Nov 28, 2013 / jackieelynnn - Nov 30, 2013
|perfect contentment - place/environment where you are perfectly content-Common Application
4 - Focus on one class in particular. you can mention you are in other classes but this one class of...
Undergraduateflamemaster3457 - Nov 28, 2013 / amarao96 - Nov 30, 2013
|I clutched onto the handrail to steady myself
Undergraduateas0408 - Nov 29, 2013 / amarao96 - Nov 30, 2013
|'a successful computer programmer' - UC Berkeley - 1st Prompt
2 - An essay so poignant, to what do I feasibly describe my expression whilst reading through? There's no perfect work,...
Undergraduateyurisng - Nov 29, 2013 / Feenahluv - Nov 30, 2013
|Earning the Right; Recount an incident
2 - Your tenses lack concord. Verbs hardly agree with each other. The punctuations are not appropriate in most cases. By...
Undergraduateabjohnson117 - Nov 29, 2013 / Feenahluv - Nov 30, 2013
|"And they lived happily ever after!"; Never Give Up -- UC Prompt
Undergraduatelynsiecheri - Nov 29, 2013 / yurisng - Nov 30, 2013
|Losing my Mom / Metro soccre / Spirit Week / Social Justice - UBC Business Application
2 - Personally, I thought that your essays were really good and interesting to read. I liked the fact that you...
UndergraduateTasha10 - Nov 28, 2013 / ivylaw - Nov 29, 2013
|'Best motivation and depression' - my enemy had turned into my motivator.
Undergraduategiraffeeec - Nov 29, 2013 / giraffeeec - Nov 29, 2013
|My journey through high school was a tough one; Personal quality, experience .....
3 - Reading your essay, the topic seemed too general and mundane. You are applying to UC Berkeley so in my...
Undergraduatewizdee - Nov 29, 2013 / Kondite - Nov 29, 2013
|"Creative and rigorous scholarship" - Bates supplement
Undergraduateduongnonsense - Nov 29, 2013 / duongnonsense - Nov 29, 2013
|"My love for art & computers" UC Prompt #2
9 - Haha the problem is that English is not my first language. It's a bit difficult for me to read...
Undergraduateintropella - Nov 29, 2013 / intropella - Nov 29, 2013
|'Fun and excitement in high-school doesn't last forever' - UC Personal Statements
Undergraduatemynameisunknown - Nov 28, 2013 / mynameisunknown - Nov 29, 2013
|'observing and listening to people' - USC Short Answers - Academic Interest
Undergraduatealicia373 - Nov 28, 2013 / alicia373 - Nov 29, 2013
|"You know who Mark Zuckerberg is? ; Central to identity
3 - Thanks a lot, lapd_ray! :) Yes, I should've taken into account that many admission officers may not know what...
Undergraduateskriptkid - Nov 28, 2013 / skriptkid - Nov 29, 2013
|'Singing and playing guitar' - UC Prompt #2
4 - "I've spent countless hours practicing and learning new songs because every time I pick up the guitar, I lose...
Undergraduateceidynafit - Nov 29, 2013 / lapd_ray - Nov 29, 2013
|"Facilitating" - UC Application Essay #2 - Essay about a personal quality
UndergraduateVirgo - Nov 28, 2013 / Alice123 - Nov 29, 2013
|Chess and Me - CENTRAL TO IDENTITY
2 - The chess board is a place where I can find solemn and peace. Challenging people, learning and logical thinking...
Undergraduatenotorious90 - Nov 29, 2013 / ceidynafit - Nov 29, 2013
|Syracuse - writing supplements - Short Answers 'my mother, Millicent, is my idol'
2 - In your first paragraph of the first prompt, you should specify who had encouraged you to apply to the...
Undergraduatemg_920 - Nov 27, 2013 / Kondite - Nov 29, 2013
|UC Personal Statement: Struggles as a first generation learner
Undergraduatejojocortez - Nov 23, 2013 / jojocortez - Nov 29, 2013
|I am the hot-headed Aries of the group.; Common App Essay Prompt Failure
Undergraduateabcdepandas - Nov 28, 2013 / yennhihoang - Nov 28, 2013
|Broken down apartment; UC Prompt # 1 World I come from - MaoTai road
8 - it has the potential greatly to ease the lives of other people since moonlight wasn't welcomed by those...
Undergraduatedzup36 - Nov 27, 2013 / alicia373 - Nov 28, 2013
|'Stayed in Viatnem for a summer' - USC Short Answers.
2 - This is a nice essay. You provide good/specific examples. Just one part seemed it a bit awkward: "I will...
Undergraduateyennhihoang - Nov 28, 2013 / candymare - Nov 28, 2013
|'my biggest dream to live a life abroad' My family and my journey- UC; World you come from
Undergraduateriosons - Nov 28, 2013 / yennhihoang - Nov 28, 2013
|I used to swim every day in my hometown; USC - extracurricular activities
2 - I don't think you have to say "used to swim" everyday because you say "prior to moving to the...
Undergraduatealicia373 - Nov 28, 2013 / yennhihoang - Nov 28, 2013
|GAMING & ECONOMICS / USC - Describe your academic interests
3 - I don't like when you say "therefore" blah blah blah. It seems too formal. Maybe talk about what makes...
UndergraduateVeradun - Nov 16, 2013 / yennhihoang - Nov 28, 2013
|LEADERSHIP; Claremont Mckenna Athenaeum Essay - Dale Carnegie
3 - I've personally read How to Win Friends and Influence People and I think it's great, but I think this...
UndergraduateVegveg - Nov 24, 2013 / jackieelynnn - Nov 28, 2013
|UC 1&2 The Protagonist/The Medium; Describe the world you come from
3 - Thanks for the feedback! I go to Westlake High School in California. Our school's name is too generic. I'm...
Undergraduatesuburbancliche - Nov 27, 2013 / suburbancliche - Nov 28, 2013
|I cannot help but see a bright impact;Why Upenn?What College of Arts&Science have for you
2 - I like this essay, its answers that question and more important you explain what you would get from the...
UndergraduateRo4 - Nov 28, 2013 / amarao96 - Nov 28, 2013
|One day I was juggling a tennis ball
2 - I was curious about how mathematical formulae worked so I started researching about them.When iI couldn't figure out a...
Undergraduatenanosuit - Nov 28, 2013 / iluvchocalate13 - Nov 28, 2013
|I didn't know how to cook ; EXPERIENCE THAT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU
UndergraduateGanchh - Nov 28, 2013 / Virgo - Nov 28, 2013
|THE BIRTH OF CIVILIZATION AND THE BODY AS ITS METAPHOR -- MYTHOLOGY (Herakles, Isis, etc.)
Undergraduateiamnicholas1 - Nov 14, 2013 / khodekhodam - Nov 28, 2013
|My family and inspiration - UC FRESHMAN ADMISSIONS WRITING PROMPT 1
Undergraduatethedanieljk - Nov 27, 2013 / thedanieljk - Nov 28, 2013
|"Attention! Don't move! Eyes to the front!" ; My significant leadership role
Undergraduateivylaw - Nov 28, 2013 / Futurepilotkid - Nov 28, 2013
|Rutgers Essay - Living in New Jersey, Indian descent, Hindu, Boy Scout
Undergraduatedesaik111 - Nov 26, 2013 / skriptkid - Nov 28, 2013
|Rutgers U is a place that can help me to excel- Vibrant community
2 - Hey! There are a few grammatical errors and it would be better you corrected those. where everyone...
Undergraduaterenee1 - Nov 25, 2013 / skriptkid - Nov 28, 2013
|Frustrations with an internship. UC prompt #2 Describe an experience.
4 - Thank you Virgo for the comments, I've learned something here too. Am so busy with my job that sometimes...
Undergraduatedzup36 - Nov 27, 2013 / Jeremy Newcastl - Nov 28, 2013
|EDUCATION IS IMPORTANT TO ME - Stanford essay:what matters to me and why
UndergraduateRo4 - Nov 28, 2013 / Pahan - Nov 28, 2013
|My community, my teachers, and my school ; Describe the world you come from.
2 - This extremely diverse community, especially in terms of cast and creed of people, had taught me the importance...
Undergraduatearunesh1234 - Nov 28, 2013 / Pahan - Nov 28, 2013
|Watercolor Painting - "Demonstrate Your Character" - UW Essay
4 - Great conclusion! I'm not sure it's required to have examples, but I think you should go for it. Explain...
Undergraduatecollegecori - Nov 27, 2013 / selmasanchez - Nov 28, 2013
|"Kaleidoscopic books" UC prompt #1: your world, dreams and aspirations.
UndergraduateSeirios - Nov 27, 2013 / Ro4 - Nov 28, 2013
|I went to an informational session on the eng; Virginia Tech/5 reasons to be a Hokie
Undergraduateparkertech - Nov 26, 2013 / Ro4 - Nov 28, 2013
|"What it Takes to be a Pioneer" -- UC Transfer Essay
3 - It is pretty good! I would just try to make more paragraphs. you have to develop one paragraph for...
Undergraduatelynsiecheri - Nov 26, 2013 / rinori89 - Nov 28, 2013
|"What does being a Diplomat mean to you?" - Franklin & Marshall supplement
2 - good essay. I didn't fine any grammatical errors. I also like the way you've shown that you actually have...
Undergraduateduongnonsense - Nov 25, 2013 / Ro4 - Nov 28, 2013
|My grandfather, Fred Murko - transition from childhood to adulthood - event.
Undergraduatehcall5 - Nov 26, 2013 / Virgo - Nov 28, 2013
|UC Prompt 1: "Living Online"; world you come from
4 - Yeah, internet is a risky topic. In the beginning of your essay, I sensed that you were one of...
Undergraduaterianhawaiian - Nov 28, 2013 / Kondite - Nov 28, 2013
|Me and my father; His hardened bark was slowly peeling off.
Undergraduateasomegirl - Nov 27, 2013 / asomegirl - Nov 28, 2013
|Significant Challenge, and your response to it; 'dream of becoming a pianist'
2 - I like your first sentence, very clear in letting the reader know your aspirations. Even if its not part...
Undergraduateivylaw - Nov 28, 2013 / Xenocidel - Nov 28, 2013
|Uniquely Latina; EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES
2 - It is better you include the prompt with the essay. Then we can align our comments more with what...
Undergraduatekarejenn - Nov 27, 2013 / dumi - Nov 28, 2013
|'the National Blue Ribbon' - UC/personal essay
9 - The essay was a solid effort and flows well.Good job! Just focus on the grammatical errors that the...
UndergraduateKalikratia - Nov 24, 2013 / haayounglee - Nov 27, 2013
|Cross Country mistake! fun (My personal experince)
3 - Thanks for the lovely response.And Sir,the e was eaten to make the essay more thrilling....Stay tuned for more trilling...
UndergraduateRavi Vj - Nov 24, 2013 / Ravi Vj - Nov 27, 2013
|'My business to change my community' - personal statement
3 - Thank you so much for your feedback & thank you for reading it. I'll make the changes to make...
UndergraduateXLiaX - Nov 27, 2013 / XLiaX - Nov 27, 2013
|'The architecture of designing structures' - Personal Statement Topic B Texas at Austin
7 - Wow, that is an amazing essay. I enjoyed your word choice, it really kept me in your story. I...
Undergraduateselmasanchez - Nov 27, 2013 / XLiaX - Nov 27, 2013
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