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|independence- i wish i were there. stanford: a historical event i wish i'd witnessed
UndergraduateRo4 - Dec 6, 2013 / dumi - Dec 6, 2013
|I was standing in a 324 mts tall structure; CENTRAL TO IDENTITY
Undergraduateduquevan - Dec 5, 2013 / duquevan - Dec 6, 2013
|I felt it was time I shed the old skin; People with different beliefs/experiences
Undergraduatedjh213 - Dec 1, 2013 / Riddi - Dec 6, 2013
|'Cause-and-effect' - UC -WORLD I COME FROM
Undergraduateceidynafit - Nov 29, 2013 / dumi - Dec 6, 2013
|My career ambition is to became a fund manager; SOP - motivation letter
2 - I think you should have elaborated a little more on this experience. Tell them how you developed such...
Undergraduateefacci00 - Dec 5, 2013 / dumi - Dec 6, 2013
|The more I tried to dry my hands, the clammier they became; DANCING/Central to identity
2 - Hello, I have no idea why so many students have such a hard time answering this prompt correctly....
Undergraduatecollindching - Dec 5, 2013 / admission2012 - Dec 5, 2013
|Georgetown essay on what activity or sport do you participate in- concerned about length
2 - Hello, My Advice-- get rid of that verbose opening paragraph. It serves no purpose other than making you...
Undergraduatemarijkelandon - Dec 4, 2013 / admission2012 - Dec 5, 2013
|"The only source of knowledge is experience." -The Coming of Age; childhood to adulthood
2 - Points to consider - Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence which summaries what the paragraph is about....
UndergraduateDavid260Z - Dec 1, 2013 / RashedMohamed - Dec 5, 2013
|UW essay B. - The University of Washington seeks to create a community ...
2 - Good Essay, Impressive whereas in addition i would recommend you to indicate some words in you Essays. To...
UndergraduateMaxYakovlev - Nov 30, 2013 / RashedMohamed - Dec 5, 2013
|Color Guard: Endeavoring for Perfection/ Perfectly content
UndergraduateGiannamc - Dec 1, 2013 / dumi - Dec 4, 2013
|" Always be a first rate version of yourself" ; Qualities/Unique Characteristics
Undergraduatemaiyag52 - Dec 4, 2013 / dumi - Dec 4, 2013
|Some parts of me are that of an Asian girl; MIT/ cultural background and identity
4 - Well, my approach would be that telling them your cultural roots (cultures of your parents) and the environments you...
UndergraduateLovePhys - Dec 3, 2013 / dumi - Dec 4, 2013
|'Gifting other people' - Topic C lifetime goals etc etc.
Undergraduateamarao96 - Nov 28, 2013 / Ro4 - Dec 4, 2013
|Why attend Georgia Tech? I will meet the ebullient bee community
10 - I was not born on top but born to conquer it. Nothing satisfies my thirst more than the rewards...
Undergraduatedaisythan95 - Dec 3, 2013 / daisythan95 - Dec 4, 2013
|I aspired to become a Film Producer. Academic Interest - USC short essay
Undergraduatearellyna - Nov 29, 2013 / arellyna - Dec 4, 2013
|Everybody is different; "People whose beliefs differ from your own"
Undergraduatepterodactyldave - Nov 28, 2013 / dumi - Dec 4, 2013
|Want to do different things; Why Georgia Tech & what I will contribute to the community?
3 - Thanks for the feedback; I have thought about IT security but it just doesn't seem the right career for...
Undergraduatethomas011101 - Nov 30, 2013 / thomas011101 - Dec 3, 2013
|Science plus my faith is my equation for success: Considering your lifetime goals, discuss
4 - Yeah I do meet the required length, actually its way below, because applytexas counts the lines and not the...
Undergraduatesmileyud - Nov 27, 2013 / smileyud - Dec 3, 2013
|A shadow of corruption followed me every single day - Academic Challenge
4 - Can someone please help me. I mostly need help on checking my punctuation and making sure everything sounds grammatically...
UndergraduateBobJim - Dec 1, 2013 / BobJim - Dec 3, 2013
|Certainly I was ashamed; Recount an incident where you experienced failure
5 - I don't think that this essay recounts a failure incident. I believe that admission officers would not like a...
Undergraduateroscon1995 - Dec 1, 2013 / duquevan - Dec 3, 2013
|I was fascinated by how the Xbox Kinect worked; UMich: Curriculum support my interest
2 - I would suggest that you rewrite your essay to emphasize more on the school. You mention UMich in your...
Undergraduateyinxia39 - Dec 1, 2013 / Kondite - Dec 3, 2013
|Talking to a stranger; UfT/ What has inspired you to pursue engineering?
3 - Where did you meet him? Briefly mention the place or event to give more emotions and lively feelings...
Undergraduatenial - Nov 28, 2013 / dumi - Dec 3, 2013
|USC's Department of Spanish and Portuguese ; USC-Academic Interest
3 - Well, your prompt is focused on Academic Interests and while I was reading the above section, I wasn't...
Undergraduatecandymare - Nov 28, 2013 / dumi - Dec 3, 2013
|Showing commitment in reaching my lifetime goals
Undergraduateashleyrod - Dec 2, 2013 / — -
|Tropical Humid to Cold foggy area- UC Personal statement Prompt#2
2 - really nice essay. Good hook, and i enjoyed reading it, i believe admission stuff will like it also. it...
UndergraduateYessay - Nov 28, 2013 / serdarovez - Dec 2, 2013
|I love solving complicated math problems ;Academic interests,how I plan to pursue them@USC
2 - I love solving a complicated math problems. Why did you include this line in this response? It...
Undergraduatejackieg8 - Dec 1, 2013 / dumi - Dec 2, 2013
|Shrimp Paste philosophy; Background or Story
Undergraduateduongnonsense - Dec 1, 2013 / duongnonsense - Dec 2, 2013
|MY AUNT'S HOUSE: Place where you are perfectly content
3 - Practically inseparable, we both enjoyed each others company than with anybody else. .... since your next sentence too...
Undergraduatescatano81 - Nov 30, 2013 / dumi - Dec 2, 2013
|My world is not a singular noun; UC - World you come from
Undergraduateaehnue - Nov 30, 2013 / dumi - Dec 2, 2013
|The day my mother broke her leg; The Most Significant Challenge ; UBC App
Undergraduateskhan209 - Dec 1, 2013 / dumi - Dec 2, 2013
|Sakubva stadium ; the meaning of a soccer field to me
Undergraduatebothie - Nov 30, 2013 / dumi - Dec 1, 2013
|I have lived in the same neighborhood- Rutgers; I Crave Experience
Undergraduateaicnelavm - Dec 1, 2013 / aicnelavm - Dec 1, 2013
|University of Alabama/ About genetics and physical appearance; What fascinates me!
2 - Your first paragraph is very enticing and interesting, but I lose interest in the second paragraph. If you were...
Undergraduategansotonto - Dec 1, 2013 / thebriterican - Dec 1, 2013
|'Improve Turkmenistan' MOTIVATION LETTER for International Business Management degree.
2 - Great job! I think where you said "for as long as I can remember", tell the reader about that...
Undergraduateserdarovez - Dec 1, 2013 / selmasanchez - Dec 1, 2013
|"Boom!", I heard the official fire the gun to mark the start of the race- FAILURE
5 - Thank you Selmasanchez for the tip. I now have made some few adjustments to help readers connect with my...
UndergraduateRD418 - Nov 30, 2013 / RD418 - Dec 1, 2013
|UC Personal Statement Essay-The Willpower to Suceed
5 - i totally agree with Kondite you should include more from your High school experience. and i feel that it...
Undergraduateabjohnson117 - Nov 29, 2013 / serdarovez - Dec 1, 2013
|Short answer questions (Agribusiness) - A&M and UT Austin
2 - In general everything seems good. First one answers the prompt. But 2nd one and last one seems a bit...
UndergraduateJAE23JAE - Nov 30, 2013 / serdarovez - Dec 1, 2013
|Brandenburg concertos ;U Texas at Austin - current and future academic+ extra-curricular
2 - way too many big words it is very hard to follow. However, I do believe your response is sufficient...
Undergraduateselmasanchez - Dec 1, 2013 / JAE23JAE - Dec 1, 2013
|I was isolating myself from other people's views; Virginia Tech- Principles of Community
3 - Thank you for the reply. I was thinking of quoting some their principles but might not be able to...
Undergraduateroscon1995 - Dec 1, 2013 / roscon1995 - Dec 1, 2013
|Common App Prompt - Describe a place or environment (Sunsetting Desert)
2 - I love your opening part of your essay! Everything sounds fine to me. Can't wait to read more. :)...
Undergraduatechris4017 - Dec 1, 2013 / RD418 - Dec 1, 2013
|'Beyond skin color' - College Essay about Diversity
2 - In my opinion, a university should be a place where I can challenge myself educationally, where I can...
Undergraduatethebriterican - Nov 30, 2013 / dumi - Dec 1, 2013
|Pursuing a career in medicine;Why UCF? What qualities/unique characteristics do I possess?
2 - Why UCF's College of Medicine, in particular? You need to answer that question here and that is what...
UndergraduateHelenaG - Nov 30, 2013 / dumi - Dec 1, 2013
|Exercise Biology - Transfer UC ;What is your intended major?
2 - I find some redundancy in this line :( For most of my life, the morning routine usually began...
Undergraduatecweis - Nov 30, 2013 / dumi - Dec 1, 2013
|THE BELIEFS ARE ALWAYS DIFFERENT- U TEXAS
2 - Well in this situation you did not collaborate with him, but you did interact. So ultimately I would say...
Undergraduatebulletproooff - Nov 30, 2013 / JAE23JAE - Nov 30, 2013
|'Boring Utah' - USC Extra-curricular Activity- South Jordan Youth Council
2 - You need some kind of introduction for this quote. You cannot simply just place a quote at the beginning...
Undergraduateyennhihoang - Nov 28, 2013 / tiffanyhng - Nov 30, 2013
|UC Prompt #1 - I love taking things apart
2 - Comments: You did a good job explaining why your talent is valuable to yourself and did a good descriptive...
Undergraduateriosons - Nov 30, 2013 / tiffanyhng - Nov 30, 2013
|'See the world for change' - University of California Santa Barbra
5 - thank you so much! facet is actually i was trying to find the shined and shaped polished side of...
Undergraduatelsciulli - Nov 30, 2013 / lsciulli - Nov 30, 2013
|Medicine has long been a dream of mine; Brown PLME -Experiences/ Why a good fit?
4 - Yeah you might as well just stop now, especially if everyone who has read it says it's great....
UndergraduateNerdFighter - Nov 30, 2013 / Th25cc - Nov 30, 2013
|My trip to Sandy Island - group experience and role in it
4 - Great story, but it seems a little lifeless...maybe some more descriptions would connect your sentences a little...
Undergraduateivylaw - Nov 29, 2013 / NerdFighter - Nov 30, 2013
|'Corduroy pants' - Common App Enough reflection?
4 - Wow you are a great writer! I would agree with riosons to focus a little more on the self-respect...
Undergraduatefooley0401 - Nov 30, 2013 / NerdFighter - Nov 30, 2013
|'My cousin took her life' - Macaulay Honors Essay #1 - Personal Experince
Undergraduatedabbh1997 - Nov 26, 2013 / dabbh1997 - Nov 30, 2013
|I started my education in a Japanese school, in Indonesia; Common App
Undergraduatealicia373 - Nov 28, 2013 / dumi - Nov 30, 2013
|Military contracting Firm; Common App USC- use your engineering degree to benefit society?
Undergraduatelapd_ray - Nov 28, 2013 / dumi - Nov 30, 2013
|Anti-bullying rally ; Dealing with different ideas
2 - Well... I feel you should give more focus to your niece's story first and then talk about your...
Undergraduateamarao96 - Nov 28, 2013 / dumi - Nov 30, 2013
|'Life in a different world' - Benefiting and Contributing:Rutgers
2 - Hello Melonsv! I'll just try to tell my own thoughts. The prompt is asking you to write an essay...
UndergraduateMelonsv - Nov 29, 2013 / n_d - Nov 30, 2013
|'Yearbooks and peers' - USC - Annenberg Statement of Intent
Undergraduatejackieelynnn - Nov 28, 2013 / jackieelynnn - Nov 30, 2013
|perfect contentment - place/environment where you are perfectly content-Common Application
4 - Focus on one class in particular. you can mention you are in other classes but this one class of...
Undergraduateflamemaster3457 - Nov 28, 2013 / amarao96 - Nov 30, 2013
|I clutched onto the handrail to steady myself
Undergraduateas0408 - Nov 29, 2013 / amarao96 - Nov 30, 2013
|'a successful computer programmer' - UC Berkeley - 1st Prompt
2 - An essay so poignant, to what do I feasibly describe my expression whilst reading through? There's no perfect work,...
Undergraduateyurisng - Nov 29, 2013 / Feenahluv - Nov 30, 2013
|Earning the Right; Recount an incident
2 - Your tenses lack concord. Verbs hardly agree with each other. The punctuations are not appropriate in most cases. By...
Undergraduateabjohnson117 - Nov 29, 2013 / Feenahluv - Nov 30, 2013
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