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|'creativity and alacrity in me' - INTRODUCTORY LINE OF A PERFECT SOP
4 - Nikky, following a format doesn't really make your SOP sounds too common or boring. It is the skeleton on...
UndergraduateNikkyrulzz - Nov 21, 2013 / dumi - Nov 25, 2013
|'Moving around' - Uni of WA Cultural background, experience, and viewpoints
2 - I've attended a number of schools in different districts and also lived in numerous neighborhoods in several different...
Undergraduatecaspera - Nov 25, 2013 / Pahan - Nov 25, 2013
|"intended major is Japanese" - UC transfer personal statement Prompt #1
Undergraduateohk1990 - Nov 25, 2013 / Pahan - Nov 25, 2013
|'non-challenging classes' - UT Applications Essay C:My Interests-Ambitions
UndergraduateSilverKnight - Nov 25, 2013 / — -
|UT Application A: Summer School/Different Backgrounds
NEW - Essay A: Sorry, it's a bit long. I'm open to any kind of suggestion or criticism. You can even...
UndergraduateSilverKnight - Nov 25, 2013 / — -
|Title for college application essay?
16 - My teacher say you don't need a cover page for application essays. why don't you submit online? however, I...
Undergraduatejennc09 - Jan 11, 2009 / sunni - Nov 25, 2013
|I've lived in Chatsworth, CA for most of my life; UC ( world you come from)
UndergraduateSydAustralia - Nov 24, 2013 / SydAustralia - Nov 25, 2013
|'Books and articles related to psychology' - UC/ World I come from
2 - 1st paragraph: ...having a happy family in the future as I wasn't born to a complete familysince I was...
Undergraduatelightinthebox - Nov 25, 2013 / 14janicel - Nov 25, 2013
|'physics' - UIUC prompt 1:my academic interests
Undergraduatexujunjiejack - Nov 23, 2013 / xujunjiejack - Nov 25, 2013
|'Eco-Rep or Team Green' - Why Meliora? / U Rochester Supplement'
UndergraduateDeppX - Nov 25, 2013 / DeppX - Nov 25, 2013
|It's alright Ma, I'm only Bleeding - UT Austin Essay Topic C
3 - Your essay really moves me. What I do is just to point out the smallest grammar things. "It's...
Undergraduateccoyne - Nov 24, 2013 / xujunjiejack - Nov 25, 2013
|UIC has unassailably proven that throughout its seven-year history
UndergraduateHanhTran - Nov 5, 2013 / RichardCastle - Nov 25, 2013
|'high school soccer season' - UC
UndergraduateGingaNinja - Nov 24, 2013 / dumi - Nov 25, 2013
|Personal Statement about Experience. What makes you proud and relates to who you are?
2 - The story behind this essay is great, but what youre missing is a story. You gave an outline of...
UndergraduateRyushin - Nov 24, 2013 / Kalikratia - Nov 25, 2013
|Rutgers University is home to students from all over the world
3 - I have edited your essay and I have a tip for you. I don't know what Rutger's supplement essay...
UndergraduateAcosentino - Nov 24, 2013 / MickyMouse - Nov 25, 2013
|I was constantly surrounded by the pets ; UC Personal Statement- Intended Major
Undergraduatealopez1576 - Nov 22, 2013 / DeppX - Nov 24, 2013
|Why is what do you want to be such a hard question to answer? Utexas essay C
Undergraduateawentworth - Nov 24, 2013 / Ravi Vj - Nov 24, 2013
|'My hard work, leadership, and dedication' - circumstance, obstacle, conflict essay
Undergraduatecadet4966 - Nov 24, 2013 / gabbie - Nov 24, 2013
|UC #2: Learning About Limitations
7 - Good use off imagery when talking about your financial situation, I would say that the revised essay is much...
UndergraduateSilverKnight - Nov 23, 2013 / awentworth - Nov 24, 2013
|What if I did not come to America? ; U Texas/ people whose experiences differ from mine
2 - 'I stepped my foot in America"- I would omit the my, and just state i stepped foot in america....
Undergraduate123cupcakes - Nov 24, 2013 / awentworth - Nov 24, 2013
|'My mom's treatments' - University of texas essay B
Undergraduateawentworth - Nov 24, 2013 / gansotonto - Nov 24, 2013
|I always prefer to be an effective leader instead of being a neutral member!
2 - Well done! However I have some suggestions, minor . I always prefer to be an effective leader rather than...
Undergraduatellibyanstruggle - Nov 23, 2013 / tarhuna16 - Nov 24, 2013
|Mother inspiration, Artificial world - Stanford - Intellectual Vitality
8 - Yes, I already submitted the application. But thanks! (: I just totally forgot to close the thread......
Undergraduateiluvchocalate13 - Nov 4, 2013 / iluvchocalate13 - Nov 23, 2013
|My journey began when I was in the third grade; CENTRAL TO IDENTITY
3 - After reading, I like what you say about the religion, and know the holidays in Isreal. I think you...
Undergraduatekunell - Nov 22, 2013 / xujunjiejack - Nov 23, 2013
|150 word EC: Yemen in MUN, Bravo delegate
3 - To be perfectly honest, your short answer seemed completely unremarkable and undistinguishable. The schools that you're applying to will...
Undergraduateroxy481 - Nov 17, 2013 / SilverKnight - Nov 23, 2013
|I had vowed myself to win the PUZZLE; UC
UndergraduateApocalypze - Nov 23, 2013 / admission2012 - Nov 23, 2013
|"Culture pitted against culture" - UC app- World you come from
UndergraduateNinaShereen - Nov 19, 2013 / RaeAi - Nov 23, 2013
|How art influence me - UC / PS - Personal talent - painting
3 - Thanks a lot for your suggestion. But my consulter said that this essay doesn't show my personality trait or...
Undergraduatekageao - Nov 22, 2013 / kageao - Nov 23, 2013
|I want to challenge myself; Bowdoin (prompt 1: Intellectual engagement)
UndergraduateTalilah - Nov 20, 2013 / kunell - Nov 22, 2013
|The transition from a joint family to a nuclear one was radical; WORLD I COME FROM
Undergraduateshrikeshchoksi - Nov 22, 2013 / shrikeshchoksi - Nov 22, 2013
|FAMILY STRUGGLE UC ; World I come from
Undergraduaterashidabdella - Nov 22, 2013 / sebastianb - Nov 22, 2013
|Fiji has taught me; Educational Interruption Explanation - common app
Undergraduatesavusavu - Nov 22, 2013 / admission2012 - Nov 22, 2013
|USC Essay: Unknown Phenomena "Amazing Ants"
2 - Probably you could describe the lessons ants teach humans and elaborate on that by citing specific examples in separate...
Undergraduatehgood - Nov 13, 2013 / msr_2013 - Nov 22, 2013
|Ever since I took a World War II class; UC transfer - MAJOR/PERSONAL QUALITY
2 - Hi Tacomantaco As nice as that first personal statement was, I believe you are slightly deviating away from what...
Undergraduatetacomantaco - Nov 18, 2013 / rashidabdella - Nov 22, 2013
|Academics are a big part in my family - College Essay
Undergraduateandria - Nov 20, 2013 / Pahan - Nov 21, 2013
|My dad built a kayak; SOP- SAIC - Statement of purpose
4 - dumi I'm currently rewriting the whole thing with the guideline you gave in mind. Super helpful! I kind of...
Undergraduatehuehuehue86 - Oct 31, 2013 / huehuehue86 - Nov 21, 2013
|UW MADISON unnoticed essay- Cross country and social anxiety
Undergraduateaagassner - Oct 29, 2013 / dumi - Nov 21, 2013
|I am no stranger to many of the world's cultures; Rutgers Benefit, contribution essay
Undergraduateyasin97 - Nov 16, 2013 / Pahan - Nov 21, 2013
|'creative and destructive humans' - UBC personal statement
UndergraduateDeppX - Nov 21, 2013 / DeppX - Nov 21, 2013
|My parents are my support - WORLD I COME FROM
5 - Here's a guideline for answering this question; 1. Remember what "influence" means. Influence is defined as, "the action...
UndergraduateNgBud - Nov 18, 2013 / dumi - Nov 21, 2013
|'I go to Sir Ernest MacMillan' participate in International Baccalaureate program?
2 - I am Harry Li, currently studying at Sir Ernest MacMillan Public school. I believe I belong to the...
UndergraduateHappyBoi - Nov 20, 2013 / dumi - Nov 21, 2013
|Astronomy, Academics, and the Loon; U California / World you come from
Undergraduatebeast001 - Nov 19, 2013 / DeppX - Nov 21, 2013
|Smalltown, Cars, and Escapism: common app rough draft
Undergraduateecrivaine - Nov 6, 2013 / Hgly - Nov 21, 2013
|Building leadership skills (UC personal statement)
3 - Thanks for your reply, dumi. I agree, that final paragraph is not as strong as it should be. It's...
UndergraduateDavidL - Nov 21, 2013 / DavidL - Nov 21, 2013
|WORLD OF COMPETITION ; World I come from
Undergraduatebongobl - Nov 2, 2013 / dumi - Nov 21, 2013
|"The Building Blocks in Reaching my Goal"- UIUC Prompt
Undergraduatetomliloson - Oct 30, 2013 / dumi - Nov 20, 2013
|"An empty mind is a devil's home"; Harvard supplemental-letter to my futture roommate
Undergraduatesom31 - Nov 20, 2013 / som31 - Nov 20, 2013
|BU instantly became my top choice for college; Why Boston U is a good fit?
2 - kunell I first became interested in Boston University when I read about it on a college search website. I...
Undergraduatekunell - Nov 20, 2013 / Talilah - Nov 20, 2013
|BELIEVE IN YOU to be successful; FIT
2 - First, what is the prompt for this response. Without seeing that it is difficult to understand what it requires....
Undergraduatesmxlls - Nov 19, 2013 / dumi - Nov 20, 2013
|UM Application- A nomad's home (harsh criticism valued)
UndergraduateDgarrido - Oct 31, 2013 / dumi - Nov 20, 2013
|My Mother, my idol; University of Florida; meaningful event, experience or accomplishment
3 - Well.... I find your response is not very much in line with the prompt. It sounds more like you...
Undergraduatetorobi - Oct 31, 2013 / dumi - Nov 20, 2013
|My love for Electronics and Computers - CA- Why Georgia Tech?
2 - to be with creative, open-minded and culturally diverse people. You give a list of things that...
UndergraduateBlahMan - Nov 20, 2013 / dumi - Nov 20, 2013
|How does it know what I'm looking for?; extracurricular activities / COMMON APP
Undergraduateskriptkid - Nov 3, 2013 / skriptkid - Nov 20, 2013
|Being on a basketball court; College Essay - Place Where I'm Most Content
2 - I looked around, many known faces in the crowd cheered in their fullest capacity encouraging us to win...
UndergraduateDC97 - Nov 19, 2013 / dumi - Nov 20, 2013
|Leadership experience within your professional field
3 - It happened to be in Dera Ismail Khan Pakistan mosques, a religious place of Muslims were attacked by suicide...
Undergraduatemona_bhai5 - Oct 30, 2013 / dumi - Nov 19, 2013
|'A time of transition' - on Transfer Essay
2 - This essay is ok, but the real verdict will depend on what kind of school you are transferring to....
UndergraduatePAPS123456 - Nov 19, 2013 / admission2012 - Nov 19, 2013
|Statement of Purpose for MS i chemical engineering, interested in Energy and Environment
2 - HELLO, Aside from a few spelling/grammar mistakes, this is pretty good. You hit all the major aspects of...
Undergraduatesweet21 - Nov 3, 2013 / admission2012 - Nov 19, 2013
|I felt at home ; Colgate-Why attend this university and contribution
3 - thanks:D...
UndergraduateZOEeeeeee - Nov 12, 2013 / ZOEeeeeee - Nov 19, 2013
|'Moving my body' - USC Writing Supplement : activities
2 - Hello, Pretty good essay here. I like how you take the reader through your thoughts and feelings without...
Undergraduateanaluasg - Nov 15, 2013 / admission2012 - Nov 19, 2013
|Seventeen years later... Significant People/Community Service, essay for both.
2 - At first, I said to myself, "Oh no! Not another essay about how a parent has had a significant...
Undergraduatecollegegirl2014 - Nov 14, 2013 / admission2012 - Nov 19, 2013
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