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|'Returning the iPod' - incident or time when you experienced failure. -- Common App Essay
2 - Not only is there a substantial amount of money to be made by repairing iDevices, but you also happen...
UndergraduateDGPantherX - Nov 25, 2013 / abjohnson117 - Nov 27, 2013
|"A dream too far"-UC Application prompt#1 Essay on my life and surroundings
5 - i usually don't like to tell people to loose a whole paragraph, but i think you could loose the...
Undergraduatenanosuit - Nov 27, 2013 / 14janicel - Nov 27, 2013
|TRAVEL TO THINK AS AN INTELLECT AND ADVENTURE AS AN EXPLORER - World you come from
4 - i understand its hard to imagine traveling as a world, but traveling has truly become my world and i...
Undergraduate14janicel - Nov 24, 2013 / 14janicel - Nov 27, 2013
|"Medical Supplies" - UC Application Essay #1 - Essay about the world I come from & dreams
4 - Thanks a lot guys. Positive reinforcement really does encourage me; the addition of your criticisms and suggested fixes is...
UndergraduateVirgo - Nov 27, 2013 / Virgo - Nov 27, 2013
|'I left the gang' - UW Seattle Personal Statement Prompt
Undergraduateglobalacre - Nov 26, 2013 / globalacre - Nov 27, 2013
|UC PROMPT # 2 How the homelessness in Los Angeles has inspired me to study Sociology
Undergraduatedicarlosonia - Nov 26, 2013 / dicarlosonia - Nov 27, 2013
|MOST MEMORABLE SUMMER; SEWANEE- contact with Sewanee?
8 - I'm not certain what you want to say with the last sentence, but otherwise I think it's a good...
Undergraduatesmashcommonapp - Nov 6, 2013 / aminowrimo - Nov 27, 2013
|A Pi Half Turn (UC prompt 2) 'Fastened tight to the backseat'
4 - Thats not a word.Replace that with insistence Its pretty big.Approximately 765 words.Which leaves prompt 2 with a...
Undergraduateusa2014 - Nov 25, 2013 / nanosuit - Nov 27, 2013
|The piano accompaniment began and I started to sing; UC - TALENT (Personal Statement)
3 - Thank you!...
Undergraduatejackiemarie96 - Nov 27, 2013 / jackiemarie96 - Nov 27, 2013
|Traditional loving and supportive upper-middle class family; UC -world you come from
3 - Well, I think the following caption I took from a website would be helpful for you to check whether...
UndergraduateSharmasaagar - Nov 13, 2013 / dumi - Nov 27, 2013
|'A country with economical discrepancy' - UC PERSONAL STATEMENT 1
Undergraduatecellaagung - Nov 25, 2013 / dumi - Nov 27, 2013
|Growing up with eczema has restricted me; UC 2
Undergraduate14janicel - Nov 25, 2013 / dzup36 - Nov 27, 2013
|We are always changing; UC Prompt 1: Never give up.
4 - you mention "challenges" in your second paragraph. you could strengthen your essay by providing concrete examples of hardships. did...
UndergraduateQueenRandom96 - Nov 26, 2013 / 14janicel - Nov 27, 2013
|Fatal Melancholy of Winter: Common App Essay
Undergraduatekimdaun - Nov 26, 2013 / kimdaun - Nov 27, 2013
|'Abundance / Scarcity' - UC Application Essay #1: "Two Worlds"
6 - Also, concerning my writing. I rarely make REAL grammatical errors and my evidence is an endless amount of compliments...
UndergraduateSilverKnight - Nov 26, 2013 / SilverKnight - Nov 26, 2013
|international development - UC Prompt#1 Intended major?
Undergraduatesonng - Nov 26, 2013 / sonng - Nov 26, 2013
|'Pushing me to attend college' - University of Rochester supplement
Undergraduatesunni - Nov 25, 2013 / sunni - Nov 26, 2013
|Taiwan had been a dream come true; accomplishment or event, formal or informal
5 - I love your story but I have highlighted some areas to improve. The words highlighted in red are those...
Undergraduatehaayounglee - Nov 25, 2013 / Kondite - Nov 26, 2013
|The Former Hacker, Information Control; Stanford - "What Matters and Why?"
6 - Overall, I still think it's a good essay and very well-written. Now you just need to revise it...
Undergraduatedeviantzen - Nov 24, 2013 / gansotonto - Nov 26, 2013
|adventures in anxiety and depression + world of imagination - UC Prompts #1 & #2
3 - Thanks! I revised the second essay and completely redid the first essay. My biggest worry is coming off as...
Undergraduatethelanternmatch - Nov 25, 2013 / thelanternmatch - Nov 26, 2013
|'Businessman and bank clerk' - ESL student transfer essay
Undergraduatepiggy911227 - Nov 24, 2013 / lynsiecheri - Nov 26, 2013
|Everybody is different and unique in their own way; RUTGERS U - Community
2 - These are all known facts and the admission panel would not be interested in knowing them. Let's have...
Undergraduateheygirlll - Nov 25, 2013 / dumi - Nov 26, 2013
|LEARN AND GROW AS AN ARTIST; School of Visual Arts- Statement of Intent
Undergraduateautumnaquarius - Nov 22, 2013 / SilverKnight - Nov 26, 2013
|Overcoming Depression and ED; CENTRAL TO IDENTITY
Undergraduatexoamanda831 - Nov 17, 2013 / xoamanda831 - Nov 26, 2013
|I remember seeing the Nutcracker for the first time; COMMON APP
Undergraduatehpark - Nov 1, 2013 / dumi - Nov 26, 2013
|Singapore Schlorship applicant essay -My Dream
UndergraduatePrangprao - Nov 26, 2013 / — -
|Weddings, Baseball and Economics - U of Minnesota Essay
2 - Your tenses are off in the first and second paragraphs. Keep either to a present tense or a past...
UndergraduateRichardCastle - Nov 22, 2013 / Kalikratia - Nov 26, 2013
|'my physical condition' - Personal Statement: If this is good enough?
Undergraduateintropella - Nov 25, 2013 / intropella - Nov 26, 2013
|Augustus Waters is my hero
Undergraduateayih96 - Nov 22, 2013 / dumi - Nov 25, 2013
|'creativity and alacrity in me' - INTRODUCTORY LINE OF A PERFECT SOP
4 - Nikky, following a format doesn't really make your SOP sounds too common or boring. It is the skeleton on...
UndergraduateNikkyrulzz - Nov 21, 2013 / dumi - Nov 25, 2013
|'Moving around' - Uni of WA Cultural background, experience, and viewpoints
2 - I've attended a number of schools in different districts and also lived in numerous neighborhoods in several different...
Undergraduatecaspera - Nov 25, 2013 / Pahan - Nov 25, 2013
|"intended major is Japanese" - UC transfer personal statement Prompt #1
Undergraduateohk1990 - Nov 25, 2013 / Pahan - Nov 25, 2013
|'non-challenging classes' - UT Applications Essay C:My Interests-Ambitions
UndergraduateSilverKnight - Nov 25, 2013 / — -
|UT Application A: Summer School/Different Backgrounds
NEW - Essay A: Sorry, it's a bit long. I'm open to any kind of suggestion or criticism. You can even...
UndergraduateSilverKnight - Nov 25, 2013 / — -
|Title for college application essay?
16 - My teacher say you don't need a cover page for application essays. why don't you submit online? however, I...
Undergraduatejennc09 - Jan 11, 2009 / sunni - Nov 25, 2013
|I've lived in Chatsworth, CA for most of my life; UC ( world you come from)
UndergraduateSydAustralia - Nov 24, 2013 / SydAustralia - Nov 25, 2013
|'Books and articles related to psychology' - UC/ World I come from
2 - 1st paragraph: ...having a happy family in the future as I wasn't born to a complete familysince I was...
Undergraduatelightinthebox - Nov 25, 2013 / 14janicel - Nov 25, 2013
|'physics' - UIUC prompt 1:my academic interests
Undergraduatexujunjiejack - Nov 23, 2013 / xujunjiejack - Nov 25, 2013
|'Eco-Rep or Team Green' - Why Meliora? / U Rochester Supplement'
UndergraduateDeppX - Nov 25, 2013 / DeppX - Nov 25, 2013
|It's alright Ma, I'm only Bleeding - UT Austin Essay Topic C
3 - Your essay really moves me. What I do is just to point out the smallest grammar things. "It's...
Undergraduateccoyne - Nov 24, 2013 / xujunjiejack - Nov 25, 2013
|UIC has unassailably proven that throughout its seven-year history
UndergraduateHanhTran - Nov 5, 2013 / RichardCastle - Nov 25, 2013
|'high school soccer season' - UC
UndergraduateGingaNinja - Nov 24, 2013 / dumi - Nov 25, 2013
|Personal Statement about Experience. What makes you proud and relates to who you are?
2 - The story behind this essay is great, but what youre missing is a story. You gave an outline of...
UndergraduateRyushin - Nov 24, 2013 / Kalikratia - Nov 25, 2013
|Rutgers University is home to students from all over the world
3 - I have edited your essay and I have a tip for you. I don't know what Rutger's supplement essay...
UndergraduateAcosentino - Nov 24, 2013 / MickyMouse - Nov 25, 2013
|I was constantly surrounded by the pets ; UC Personal Statement- Intended Major
Undergraduatealopez1576 - Nov 22, 2013 / DeppX - Nov 24, 2013
|Why is what do you want to be such a hard question to answer? Utexas essay C
Undergraduateawentworth - Nov 24, 2013 / Ravi Vj - Nov 24, 2013
|'My hard work, leadership, and dedication' - circumstance, obstacle, conflict essay
Undergraduatecadet4966 - Nov 24, 2013 / gabbie - Nov 24, 2013
|UC #2: Learning About Limitations
7 - Good use off imagery when talking about your financial situation, I would say that the revised essay is much...
UndergraduateSilverKnight - Nov 23, 2013 / awentworth - Nov 24, 2013
|What if I did not come to America? ; U Texas/ people whose experiences differ from mine
2 - 'I stepped my foot in America"- I would omit the my, and just state i stepped foot in america....
Undergraduate123cupcakes - Nov 24, 2013 / awentworth - Nov 24, 2013
|'My mom's treatments' - University of texas essay B
Undergraduateawentworth - Nov 24, 2013 / gansotonto - Nov 24, 2013
|I always prefer to be an effective leader instead of being a neutral member!
2 - Well done! However I have some suggestions, minor . I always prefer to be an effective leader rather than...
Undergraduatellibyanstruggle - Nov 23, 2013 / tarhuna16 - Nov 24, 2013
|Mother inspiration, Artificial world - Stanford - Intellectual Vitality
8 - Yes, I already submitted the application. But thanks! (: I just totally forgot to close the thread......
Undergraduateiluvchocalate13 - Nov 4, 2013 / iluvchocalate13 - Nov 23, 2013
|My journey began when I was in the third grade; CENTRAL TO IDENTITY
3 - After reading, I like what you say about the religion, and know the holidays in Isreal. I think you...
Undergraduatekunell - Nov 22, 2013 / xujunjiejack - Nov 23, 2013
|150 word EC: Yemen in MUN, Bravo delegate
3 - To be perfectly honest, your short answer seemed completely unremarkable and undistinguishable. The schools that you're applying to will...
Undergraduateroxy481 - Nov 17, 2013 / SilverKnight - Nov 23, 2013
|I had vowed myself to win the PUZZLE; UC
UndergraduateApocalypze - Nov 23, 2013 / admission2012 - Nov 23, 2013
|"Culture pitted against culture" - UC app- World you come from
UndergraduateNinaShereen - Nov 19, 2013 / RaeAi - Nov 23, 2013
|How art influence me - UC / PS - Personal talent - painting
3 - Thanks a lot for your suggestion. But my consulter said that this essay doesn't show my personality trait or...
Undergraduatekageao - Nov 22, 2013 / kageao - Nov 23, 2013
|I want to challenge myself; Bowdoin (prompt 1: Intellectual engagement)
UndergraduateTalilah - Nov 20, 2013 / kunell - Nov 22, 2013
|The transition from a joint family to a nuclear one was radical; WORLD I COME FROM
Undergraduateshrikeshchoksi - Nov 22, 2013 / shrikeshchoksi - Nov 22, 2013
|FAMILY STRUGGLE UC ; World I come from
Undergraduaterashidabdella - Nov 22, 2013 / sebastianb - Nov 22, 2013
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