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|Hermit Crab - Common app; background or story that is so central to my identity
5 - Thanks a lot guys. I actually posted this essay in collegeconfidential as well and they basically ripped it apart...
Undergraduatesavusavu - Nov 14, 2013 / savusavu - Nov 15, 2013
|I failed my parents. How did it affect me?
UndergraduateSmith67 - Nov 11, 2013 / DeppX - Nov 15, 2013
|FAILURE is my favorite word ; U Virginia - What is your favorite word and why?
2 - .... I feel this sounds better without the latter part. It is already said by the first part,...
UndergraduateFestivities45 - Nov 9, 2013 / dumi - Nov 14, 2013
|'We all love mathematics' - UC Supplement
Undergraduatejoanna2587 - Nov 13, 2013 / iamgenghiskhan - Nov 14, 2013
|@ that point of my life I was acting like the typical child ; LEADERSHIP ESSAY FOR FSU
Undergraduateemilyem - Sep 11, 2013 / emilyem - Nov 14, 2013
|"Pandora's Box" - Common App essay
5 - Thank you so much!!!!!! I will try to work on specifying some part...!! Thank you!! If you are able...
Undergraduatejoanna2587 - Nov 4, 2013 / joanna2587 - Nov 14, 2013
|The whole world is connected through the ocean; FSU-leadership,learning,service,global ...
3 - I think this is very well written- nice! I agree with the person above, the ocean was a great...
UndergraduateKeianna18 - Nov 14, 2013 / Anumeha - Nov 14, 2013
|"The art child"; "Hide not your talents..."; When you challenged a belief or idea
2 - burningwillow I think you definitely answered the prompt. Overall, I think the essay is very well written- the...
Undergraduateburningwillow - Nov 12, 2013 / Anumeha - Nov 14, 2013
|Common App essay on failure: finding confidence through Model UN
4 - Hey guys and thanks for your comments! Sorry for not updating :< This is the newest version and near-final...
Undergraduatelillehcai - Nov 7, 2013 / lillehcai - Nov 14, 2013
|Personal Statement - Undergraduate - Environmental Science
Undergraduatetalisca17 - Nov 6, 2013 / talisca17 - Nov 13, 2013
|I came from a big family consist of six brothers and 5 sisters ; PERSONAL STATEMENT
Undergraduateundergrad15 - Nov 13, 2013 / BryanM7 - Nov 13, 2013
|DEVELOPING TO OUR FULLEST POTENTIAL - Wisconsin Madison ; UNNOTICED
Undergraduatesamuelws1996 - Nov 13, 2013 / dumi - Nov 13, 2013
|What is one of the most difficult things you have ever done or experienced? -250 words,BYU
3 - .... No major issues with grammar, but I wish you start the second sentence a bit different as...
Undergraduates_a_m_13 - Nov 13, 2013 / dumi - Nov 13, 2013
|"Ok class. You may start."; Stanford Intellectual Vitality
Undergraduateechan527 - Nov 10, 2013 / admission2012 - Nov 13, 2013
|Depicting a music festival in an Ivy app ; perfectly content
2 - Hello, This essay is almost unreadable. The opening is just too convoluted. You need to hit the reader...
UndergraduateSampaio96 - Nov 7, 2013 / admission2012 - Nov 12, 2013
|The frustration and pressure was killing me; I just couldn't get it right
2 - Wow this is really great. I really love how you talked about the Indian tradition and the projects for...
Undergraduateshmore - Nov 6, 2013 / bongobl - Nov 12, 2013
|The city I was born was nicknamed "The Motor City"; Why UT Engineering?
Undergraduateky0106 - Nov 8, 2013 / ky0106 - Nov 12, 2013
|I have a confession to make; College Essay First Draft- Doodling
2 - I absolutely adore your essay. It's light-hearted but passionate. The only thing, however, that you may want to change...
UndergraduatePattersonh - Nov 5, 2013 / BilboLinda - Nov 12, 2013
|I turn to the language of creativity; Extracurricular Activity
Undergraduategabriellemuniz - Nov 7, 2013 / gabriellemuniz - Nov 12, 2013
|Softball field; Most Content? And Why?
2 - I think your introduction displays your excellent writing and description abilities, but to me it seems out of place...
Undergraduatethatmoosegirl - Nov 11, 2013 / eamitchel - Nov 12, 2013
|My dad's death- common app essay - background or story
2 - It's a wonderful essay, I was very moved. I suggest you don't change anything as this seems a very...
UndergraduatePoiy - Nov 8, 2013 / chondamma4 - Nov 12, 2013
|I used to be very easily swayed by the opinions of others; Yale Writing Supplement
2 - Regarding to the why Yale essay. I like how you talk about its dedication in distributing the education to...
UndergraduateErin - Nov 3, 2013 / RaeAi - Nov 12, 2013
|"How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?"; Transition to adulthood
UndergraduatemtUtch - Nov 7, 2013 / Doanhty - Nov 11, 2013
|Students and Staff ; unique qualities of Northwestern
4 - In my opinion the wording of this sentence is a little disconnected. The period in the middle throws off...
Undergraduatemrth - Nov 7, 2013 / eliencarnacion - Nov 11, 2013
|UW Seattle Freshman Application- The Sound of Change
Undergraduatehannaolson182 - Nov 4, 2013 / Ro4 - Nov 11, 2013
|Another Columbia Supp. Essay- My academic interest
Undergraduateving96 - Nov 4, 2013 / Ro4 - Nov 11, 2013
|Eight houses, four cities, four different schools; UC-world you come from
Undergraduatejmfabrizi - Nov 9, 2013 / flowerchild31 - Nov 11, 2013
|OPPORTUNIITIES; Course Transfer Essay from Psychology to Business
4 - Sry for the extremely delayed reply... I wasn't around for some time and didnt have the chance to get...
UndergraduateRyou - Oct 27, 2013 / Ryou - Nov 11, 2013
|"What does FAMILY mean to you?" ; CENTRAL to IDENTITY
3 - thanks a lot dumi!!! sometimes I just worry that this essay isn't strong enough to present who I am...
Undergraduatecharlotteccm - Nov 8, 2013 / charlotteccm - Nov 11, 2013
|Leaving my friends; Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal
Undergraduatewolfeacevedo - Nov 7, 2013 / Altaa - Nov 11, 2013
|First generation college student in my family ; COMMON APP
UndergraduateNole412 - Nov 5, 2013 / Pahan - Nov 10, 2013
|Language fascinates me most -Law personal statement / HongKong Universities
2 - So here's my critic I like to ponder; even trivial things in daily life make me curious.Sounds like you...
Undergraduatejohnhoop - Nov 10, 2013 / smoovgee - Nov 10, 2013
|I came to the United States in the year 2000; UC Personal Statement
Undergraduatetheindian1 - Nov 7, 2013 / theindian1 - Nov 9, 2013
|Being Chinese and adopted ; Central to IDENTITY
Undergraduatemrth - Nov 7, 2013 / dumi - Nov 9, 2013
|Nuclear Physics department; MIT/ which department appeals to you most & why?
Undergraduatekeshav13579 - Nov 9, 2013 / keshav13579 - Nov 9, 2013
|Motivation letter for RSM - correction of my spelling and grammar any opinions 2 ;)
2 - I have traveled in many countries such as Spain, France, Italy, Germany, Algeria, Morocco, and Tunisia that enriched...
UndergraduateAron101 - Nov 8, 2013 / dumi - Nov 9, 2013
|Would I be required to do surgery?; Personal Statement!
UndergraduateSteezed12 - Nov 4, 2013 / Steezed12 - Nov 8, 2013
|Close your eyes. Picture yourself in a classroom; Anomalous Alex, UC prompt 2
2 - Everywhere you find the numbers and equations and see the magic of student engineers working as a...
Undergraduatebongobl - Nov 2, 2013 / Pahan - Nov 8, 2013
|CA Prompt #1: Unique background or experience - The immigrant experience and progress.
3 - All contributors, thank you so much for the very good comments. I have revised my essay and incorporated the...
Undergraduatehemip000 - Nov 8, 2013 / hemip000 - Nov 8, 2013
|I arrived at O.R. Tambo airport in South Africa; background or story
UndergraduateEdwinP1 - Nov 8, 2013 / mrth - Nov 8, 2013
|Conflicts between my parents; Transition from childhood to adulthood
5 - What is this addiction? You better specify! I grew up with worries that an average 10-year-old...
Undergraduatepayton45 - Nov 6, 2013 / dumi - Nov 8, 2013
|I must confess that I am an introspective person; personal statement to HKU
Undergraduatenguyen tien dat - Nov 3, 2013 / nguyen tien dat - Nov 8, 2013
|Standing motionless at the white doorway, I stared at rows of unfamiliar faces; Purdue Uni
Undergraduatelyhds18 - Nov 6, 2013 / theindian1 - Nov 7, 2013
|I cycled through the quiet, narrow and rejuvenating lanes; background or story
Undergraduatedarkprince17 - Nov 6, 2013 / darkprince17 - Nov 7, 2013
|My grandpa doesn't get out of his little shell ; perfectly content
2 - I don't think you need to take out the contractions, since this isn't a formal research paper. It's meant...
Undergraduategbaunach - Nov 7, 2013 / mrth - Nov 7, 2013
|Seven simple characters, held in place by a cultural undertone; COMMON APP
2 - Ahh, neopets. Those were the days. Connecting to its Sanskrit roots, Akshith means, forever, permanent, and everlasting. For...
UndergraduateVplay3 - Nov 3, 2013 / mrth - Nov 7, 2013
|Entropy to Lucidity; Thunderstorm - Where are you content?
Undergraduatekaough - Oct 28, 2013 / MaryMag96 - Nov 7, 2013
|UPENN Jerome Fisher M&T Program/ Engineering and Business
Undergraduateitsover9000 - Nov 6, 2013 / itsover9000 - Nov 7, 2013
|Tree Top Tunnel Vision; Background Story
3 - Thank you, smashcommonapp! The reason I included the Chinese crowd was because of the gasps, and to add a...
Undergraduateaminowrimo - Nov 2, 2013 / aminowrimo - Nov 7, 2013
|"My Near Death Experience" Failure Common App Essay
3 - As someone who has also 'almost died' by drowning, I can say that you described the feeling aptly in...
UndergraduateFreimuth96 - Nov 2, 2013 / smashcommonapp - Nov 7, 2013
|The true beauty of Northwestern ; Northwestern Supp;A TOOL FOR CHANGE
3 - political and social movements either in the most obvious of ways I think the "either" is a bit awkward...
UndergraduateBilboLinda - Nov 5, 2013 / mrth - Nov 6, 2013
|DONATING BLOOD; "How can you contribue and benefit from a diverse campus" - Rutgers
2 - "raised in an environment"...where donating "is" seen... I think the last paragraph is good tying together your thoughts about...
Undergraduaterichmondc - Nov 6, 2013 / whomp123 - Nov 6, 2013
|My Passion for Communication (Writing Sample for RISD)
2 - Not only were the people supportive of my motivations do you mean "choices" ? great essay. As a...
Undergraduatelillilkim - Nov 4, 2013 / lyhds18 - Nov 6, 2013
|I follow the most effective path; Why Chapman University?
2 - Ok.... you dedicate your first paragraph to tell them that you believe in practical exposure more. You first gain...
Undergraduateflaker - Nov 5, 2013 / dumi - Nov 6, 2013
|''Why did they make you our teacher, you are a kid yourself ''; Extra-curricular activity
UndergraduateDeppX - Oct 26, 2013 / dumi - Nov 5, 2013
|You sound terrible!; My Song Parodies: UVA Quirk
3 - Whenever I'm tired, stressed, feeling anxious or dull, I simply create a song parody to fit my emotions...
UndergraduateChristianB - Oct 30, 2013 / dumi - Nov 5, 2013
|'Topic done to death' - UC / personal quality
3 - Therefore, the majority of the task willingly fell toon me Well, throughout the response I had this one big...
UndergraduateEnceladus - Oct 29, 2013 / dumi - Nov 5, 2013
|University of Michigan: Supplementary essay- Finding a new home within my soccer team
7 - This is a very good response. You open your character too through this response. :) I guess you are...
Undergraduatejesse7chen - Oct 26, 2013 / dumi - Nov 5, 2013
|Moved from Thailand to America/ Technology ;"Bump in the road"/ Why UCF?
UndergraduateLemon77 - Oct 25, 2013 / dumi - Nov 5, 2013
|Expanding my horizons at UT Austin
2 - I love your introduction, it was very captivating! I like that you have done well in researching the opportunities...
Undergraduateskbandou27 - Nov 2, 2013 / Blastofftomars1 - Nov 5, 2013
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