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|I always prefer to be an effective leader instead of being a neutral member!
2 - Well done! However I have some suggestions, minor . I always prefer to be an effective leader rather than...
Undergraduatellibyanstruggle - Nov 23, 2013 / tarhuna16 - Nov 24, 2013
|Mother inspiration, Artificial world - Stanford - Intellectual Vitality
8 - Yes, I already submitted the application. But thanks! (: I just totally forgot to close the thread......
Undergraduateiluvchocalate13 - Nov 4, 2013 / iluvchocalate13 - Nov 23, 2013
|My journey began when I was in the third grade; CENTRAL TO IDENTITY
3 - After reading, I like what you say about the religion, and know the holidays in Isreal. I think you...
Undergraduatekunell - Nov 22, 2013 / xujunjiejack - Nov 23, 2013
|150 word EC: Yemen in MUN, Bravo delegate
3 - To be perfectly honest, your short answer seemed completely unremarkable and undistinguishable. The schools that you're applying to will...
Undergraduateroxy481 - Nov 17, 2013 / SilverKnight - Nov 23, 2013
|I had vowed myself to win the PUZZLE; UC
UndergraduateApocalypze - Nov 23, 2013 / admission2012 - Nov 23, 2013
|"Culture pitted against culture" - UC app- World you come from
UndergraduateNinaShereen - Nov 19, 2013 / RaeAi - Nov 23, 2013
|How art influence me - UC / PS - Personal talent - painting
3 - Thanks a lot for your suggestion. But my consulter said that this essay doesn't show my personality trait or...
Undergraduatekageao - Nov 22, 2013 / kageao - Nov 23, 2013
|I want to challenge myself; Bowdoin (prompt 1: Intellectual engagement)
UndergraduateTalilah - Nov 20, 2013 / kunell - Nov 22, 2013
|The transition from a joint family to a nuclear one was radical; WORLD I COME FROM
Undergraduateshrikeshchoksi - Nov 22, 2013 / shrikeshchoksi - Nov 22, 2013
|FAMILY STRUGGLE UC ; World I come from
Undergraduaterashidabdella - Nov 22, 2013 / sebastianb - Nov 22, 2013
|Fiji has taught me; Educational Interruption Explanation - common app
Undergraduatesavusavu - Nov 22, 2013 / admission2012 - Nov 22, 2013
|USC Essay: Unknown Phenomena "Amazing Ants"
2 - Probably you could describe the lessons ants teach humans and elaborate on that by citing specific examples in separate...
Undergraduatehgood - Nov 13, 2013 / msr_2013 - Nov 22, 2013
|Ever since I took a World War II class; UC transfer - MAJOR/PERSONAL QUALITY
2 - Hi Tacomantaco As nice as that first personal statement was, I believe you are slightly deviating away from what...
Undergraduatetacomantaco - Nov 18, 2013 / rashidabdella - Nov 22, 2013
|Academics are a big part in my family - College Essay
Undergraduateandria - Nov 20, 2013 / Pahan - Nov 21, 2013
|My dad built a kayak; SOP- SAIC - Statement of purpose
4 - dumi I'm currently rewriting the whole thing with the guideline you gave in mind. Super helpful! I kind of...
Undergraduatehuehuehue86 - Oct 31, 2013 / huehuehue86 - Nov 21, 2013
|UW MADISON unnoticed essay- Cross country and social anxiety
Undergraduateaagassner - Oct 29, 2013 / dumi - Nov 21, 2013
|I am no stranger to many of the world's cultures; Rutgers Benefit, contribution essay
Undergraduateyasin97 - Nov 16, 2013 / Pahan - Nov 21, 2013
|'creative and destructive humans' - UBC personal statement
UndergraduateDeppX - Nov 21, 2013 / DeppX - Nov 21, 2013
|My parents are my support - WORLD I COME FROM
5 - Here's a guideline for answering this question; 1. Remember what "influence" means. Influence is defined as, "the action...
UndergraduateNgBud - Nov 18, 2013 / dumi - Nov 21, 2013
|'I go to Sir Ernest MacMillan' participate in International Baccalaureate program?
2 - I am Harry Li, currently studying at Sir Ernest MacMillan Public school. I believe I belong to the...
UndergraduateHappyBoi - Nov 20, 2013 / dumi - Nov 21, 2013
|Astronomy, Academics, and the Loon; U California / World you come from
Undergraduatebeast001 - Nov 19, 2013 / DeppX - Nov 21, 2013
|Smalltown, Cars, and Escapism: common app rough draft
Undergraduateecrivaine - Nov 6, 2013 / Hgly - Nov 21, 2013
|Building leadership skills (UC personal statement)
3 - Thanks for your reply, dumi. I agree, that final paragraph is not as strong as it should be. It's...
UndergraduateDavidL - Nov 21, 2013 / DavidL - Nov 21, 2013
|WORLD OF COMPETITION ; World I come from
Undergraduatebongobl - Nov 2, 2013 / dumi - Nov 21, 2013
|"The Building Blocks in Reaching my Goal"- UIUC Prompt
Undergraduatetomliloson - Oct 30, 2013 / dumi - Nov 20, 2013
|"An empty mind is a devil's home"; Harvard supplemental-letter to my futture roommate
Undergraduatesom31 - Nov 20, 2013 / som31 - Nov 20, 2013
|BU instantly became my top choice for college; Why Boston U is a good fit?
2 - kunell I first became interested in Boston University when I read about it on a college search website. I...
Undergraduatekunell - Nov 20, 2013 / Talilah - Nov 20, 2013
|BELIEVE IN YOU to be successful; FIT
2 - First, what is the prompt for this response. Without seeing that it is difficult to understand what it requires....
Undergraduatesmxlls - Nov 19, 2013 / dumi - Nov 20, 2013
|UM Application- A nomad's home (harsh criticism valued)
UndergraduateDgarrido - Oct 31, 2013 / dumi - Nov 20, 2013
|My Mother, my idol; University of Florida; meaningful event, experience or accomplishment
3 - Well.... I find your response is not very much in line with the prompt. It sounds more like you...
Undergraduatetorobi - Oct 31, 2013 / dumi - Nov 20, 2013
|My love for Electronics and Computers - CA- Why Georgia Tech?
2 - to be with creative, open-minded and culturally diverse people. You give a list of things that...
UndergraduateBlahMan - Nov 20, 2013 / dumi - Nov 20, 2013
|How does it know what I'm looking for?; extracurricular activities / COMMON APP
Undergraduateskriptkid - Nov 3, 2013 / skriptkid - Nov 20, 2013
|Being on a basketball court; College Essay - Place Where I'm Most Content
2 - I looked around, many known faces in the crowd cheered in their fullest capacity encouraging us to win...
UndergraduateDC97 - Nov 19, 2013 / dumi - Nov 20, 2013
|Leadership experience within your professional field
3 - It happened to be in Dera Ismail Khan Pakistan mosques, a religious place of Muslims were attacked by suicide...
Undergraduatemona_bhai5 - Oct 30, 2013 / dumi - Nov 19, 2013
|'A time of transition' - on Transfer Essay
2 - This essay is ok, but the real verdict will depend on what kind of school you are transferring to....
UndergraduatePAPS123456 - Nov 19, 2013 / admission2012 - Nov 19, 2013
|Statement of Purpose for MS i chemical engineering, interested in Energy and Environment
2 - HELLO, Aside from a few spelling/grammar mistakes, this is pretty good. You hit all the major aspects of...
Undergraduatesweet21 - Nov 3, 2013 / admission2012 - Nov 19, 2013
|I felt at home ; Colgate-Why attend this university and contribution
3 - thanks:D...
UndergraduateZOEeeeeee - Nov 12, 2013 / ZOEeeeeee - Nov 19, 2013
|'Moving my body' - USC Writing Supplement : activities
2 - Hello, Pretty good essay here. I like how you take the reader through your thoughts and feelings without...
Undergraduateanaluasg - Nov 15, 2013 / admission2012 - Nov 19, 2013
|Seventeen years later... Significant People/Community Service, essay for both.
2 - At first, I said to myself, "Oh no! Not another essay about how a parent has had a significant...
Undergraduatecollegegirl2014 - Nov 14, 2013 / admission2012 - Nov 19, 2013
|I barely have time to breathe; Perfectly Content
Undergraduatennelko16 - Nov 13, 2013 / dumi - Nov 19, 2013
|Legacy,pride,challenge,pursuit of something great; Air Force Academy "why attend?"
3 - Standing in my blues proudly representing my country and my confidence and readyness to face the world ...
Undergraduatesarkat - Oct 28, 2013 / dumi - Nov 19, 2013
|Elvis is one of my role models;UC - personal quality,talent,accomplishment,contribution
3 - I just wanted to reply to your question about the essay being formal, I think it should be semi...
Undergraduatesatyamsingh - Nov 18, 2013 / Ctence - Nov 18, 2013
|"I'm leaving" said my mom; A&M ; circumstance, obstacle or conflict
Undergraduaterjgirl101 - Nov 14, 2013 / lexie94 - Nov 18, 2013
|From China - learning about American universities - Personal statement for transfer
Undergraduatezhp199439 - Nov 14, 2013 / Pahan - Nov 18, 2013
|I began my life with an unexpected turn; University of Colorado at Boulder Essay
UndergraduateCopey - Nov 14, 2013 / Pahan - Nov 18, 2013
|"Debate? nah, not me" ; Extracurricular activity
UndergraduateRo4 - Nov 17, 2013 / dumi - Nov 18, 2013
|The Day My Life Changed Forever! UF - event, experience or accomplishment
4 - Although most of others at that age would feel their life was ruined, I , surprisingly, didn't feel...
UndergraduateMRice813 - Nov 16, 2013 / dumi - Nov 18, 2013
|'Lived in China' - Major of Economics - UC Personal Statement
2 - I think you should rethink what you have wrote. You're not really staying on topic. I understand your trying...
Undergraduatequeenielao - Nov 12, 2013 / MRice813 - Nov 18, 2013
|A Scout's life - UC ; personal experience that is important to you
2 - miwixkiwi "Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about...
Undergraduatemiwixkiwi - Nov 14, 2013 / MRice813 - Nov 18, 2013
|Slap on the face; World I come from
2 - ...Some punctuation issues :( I suggest the following ; Knowing that I come from a low income family...
Undergraduatelaurav3 - Nov 18, 2013 / dumi - Nov 18, 2013
|I feel that my modesty makes me approachable to everybody
9 - No offense, but this essay makes me want to throw up... You are writing about how modest you are...
Undergraduatekeshav13579 - Nov 9, 2013 / alextloft28 - Nov 17, 2013
|"You need braces";Crooked Smile - Personal Quality
Undergraduatehannahchooo - Nov 11, 2013 / hannahchooo - Nov 17, 2013
|COMMUNITY CLINIC; an extracurricular activity that impacted on me
7 - the beginning makes it sound like you don't have the initiative to find a volunteer place yourself also,...
UndergraduateRo4 - Oct 25, 2013 / roxy481 - Nov 17, 2013
|I have met all kinds of people; Rutgers- Benefit & Contribute from/to Rutgers community
Undergraduatemarkowski25 - Nov 10, 2013 / markowski25 - Nov 17, 2013
|A Second Chance; Rutgers App / personal enrichment or career goals
3 - You spend/too much talking abut your story and not enough answering the actual essay question You have to elaborate...
Undergraduatewhomp123 - Nov 5, 2013 / yasin97 - Nov 17, 2013
|I should diversify my friends; Common app essay
2 - I have been able to experiences snippets of people's culture in my school it is disturbing other's lives -lifes...
Undergraduatecolkdavis - Nov 11, 2013 / Ro4 - Nov 17, 2013
|Losing to a mahjong master? No problem! CA essay
2 - unknowing of my opponent's next move - I think this should be not knowing my opponent's next move nearest...
Undergraduatesteeeven - Nov 5, 2013 / Ro4 - Nov 17, 2013
|Stanford writing supplement ; letter to my roommate.
3 - Thanks a lot for your feedback. I tried to incorporate my likes into the essay. I hope its better...
UndergraduateRo4 - Nov 11, 2013 / Ro4 - Nov 17, 2013
|Our identity is found in our unique stories; Essay for Harvard admission
4 - leadership, from my perspective.... providing that warm environment... segadore has taughtme how to leave a legacy where ever i...
Undergraduatemayi753 - Oct 24, 2013 / Ro4 - Nov 17, 2013
|I liked the speed, adrenaline rush: How failure affected me and what i learnt from it.
UndergraduateRo4 - Sep 11, 2013 / Ro4 - Nov 17, 2013
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