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|Learning appeals most to me; FSU/ leadership, learning, service, and global awareness
2 - Leadership, learning, service and global awareness together makes one well-rounded. However, learning appeals to me the most. ...
Undergraduatebowenee - Oct 13, 2013 / dumi - Oct 14, 2013
|'Where passion sprouts' - Personal Essay on Common App; A place I feel the most content
Undergraduatejsk_jin1 - Oct 13, 2013 / dumi - Oct 14, 2013
|"holistic" care ; Essay for Accelerated BSN Program for Spring 2014
2 - .... that part is getting repeated. You have used the same phrase in the previous line too. I...
Undergraduatepfishermsw - Oct 7, 2013 / dumi - Oct 14, 2013
|Define: Success. Common App Essay 3, recount failure. Debate.
Undergraduateyennhihoang - Oct 13, 2013 / swagmaster420x - Oct 14, 2013
|'My siter's success' - Commonapp essay: Having a twin.
7 - i like your essay, but i think you should include a specific event(s). it will draw the attention of...
UndergraduateGrltwinz - Oct 12, 2013 / swagmaster420x - Oct 13, 2013
|Pura Vida - UF Undergraduate Admissions Essay
2 - you should be more specific as to how you were uniquely affected by the experience, because at the moment...
Undergraduatesummersayre - Oct 13, 2013 / swagmaster420x - Oct 13, 2013
|Spain. The country where I grabbed ahold of every opportunity offered to me and discovered who I am
4 - Thank you for that! wow that's very interesting feedback I had never considered it like that. But in that...
Undergraduatepuppyluvz - Oct 12, 2013 / puppyluvz - Oct 13, 2013
|Most people think that being "content" means being completely satisfied; (contentedness)
2 - I think with a prompt like this what the admissions people are looking for is a lot of detail....
Undergraduateaksteele16 - Oct 13, 2013 / Dr Cool - Oct 13, 2013
|I continue to push myself harder every day; Stanford: intellectual vitality
4 - I agree with the other two. Maybe start with an anecdote about a certain event, and show me how...
UndergraduateAfrica - Oct 12, 2013 / ChristianB - Oct 13, 2013
|Why me and why FIT? The next step for a bright future
UndergraduateNatali09 - Oct 13, 2013 / dumi - Oct 13, 2013
|I DAYDREAM A LOT; my Common app
UndergraduateGrltwinz - Oct 12, 2013 / admission2012 - Oct 13, 2013
|I have enjoyed reading Frankenstein by Mary Shelly - Short Answer Crisis!
4 - Thank you!...
Undergraduateindianwriter - Oct 7, 2013 / indianwriter - Oct 13, 2013
|Coming from a family with Computing background; My Writing Supplement of Georgia Tech
3 - Hello, Submitting an essay like this will certainly get you rejected if your grades/SAT scores are not well...
Undergraduatepavel - Oct 13, 2013 / admission2012 - Oct 13, 2013
|I was confident about the exam : Account of my failure
UndergraduateHelloPeople - Oct 12, 2013 / HelloPeople - Oct 13, 2013
|ART ESSAY ABOUT "LAKE" THE SLOW MOTION VIDEO OF CANADIAN ARTIST ERIN SHERRIFF
Undergraduatemariacb - Oct 6, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 13, 2013
|Barnard College/How did you first learned about Barnard & Why you think it's a good match?
2 - I don't really get this part. What made the promise to help you? Perusing the catalogue? Maybe it'll...
Undergraduatecaramcdoom - Oct 12, 2013 / Grltwinz - Oct 12, 2013
|Discover multiple microcosms within this unique language- supplement for Georgia Tech
Undergraduatekrishtib - Oct 5, 2013 / tayleeb - Oct 12, 2013
|History repeats itself; BACKGROUND or STORY - central to identity
4 - Okay, then my only suggestion would be to make sure you clarify for the reader what you meant by...
Undergraduatebaejoseph - Oct 10, 2013 / tayleeb - Oct 12, 2013
|Transition from private to public school; How my community has shaped me - UC
3 - The transition from a private, predominantly white middle school to a diverse public school with several hundreds of...
Undergraduatemaaaaddogg - Sep 30, 2013 / dumi - Oct 12, 2013
|'answers for why taking computer science'; my curiosity in technology
4 - Zab's personal statement; Need help Dear Sir/Madam, I would like to strongly state that I have a...
Undergraduateykarlina - Sep 18, 2012 / Zabihullah - Oct 11, 2013
|My red sixth place ribbon ; Common App Essay About Failure
3 - Even if your essay would not have been plagiarized, you still would need to redo it. The essay...
Undergraduatebuttermybacon - Oct 10, 2013 / ChristianB - Oct 11, 2013
|As an accountant I work with diverse people; North Carolina State: Diversity
3 - I'm very interested in reading your paper; however, I cannot see it (I'm not quite sure why). Could you...
Undergraduatebenzgarrison - Oct 11, 2013 / ChristianB - Oct 11, 2013
|DEALING WITH OTHERS: tell us about a personal quality, talent, contribution, or experience
3 - I know you mention it a bit later in the essay, but the first sentence about anime is rendered...
Undergraduatemeggo2014 - Oct 10, 2013 / tayleeb - Oct 11, 2013
|"Nathaniel is in no rush to leave"; UNC Chapel Hill : Challenging an Idea or Belief
5 - I like it! I also really like the mentioning the weather again at the end, especially how it's more...
UndergraduateChristianB - Oct 10, 2013 / tayleeb - Oct 11, 2013
|'we Mongolians' Essay about my self and the background that shaped me
Undergraduatepushki - Oct 11, 2013 / pushki - Oct 11, 2013
|My stork got lost : my story
Undergraduatekumku - Oct 7, 2013 / fahadbd - Oct 11, 2013
|Volunteering; OLD DOMINION UNIVERSITY/ACTIVITIES, ACHIEVEMENTS
UndergraduateUNIEQUIDREAMS07 - Oct 10, 2013 / ChristianB - Oct 10, 2013
|First attention-grabbing brochure; Why Reed ?
Undergraduatemonigr - Sep 29, 2013 / dumi - Oct 10, 2013
|Beep! Beep! Beep!; Describe the world you come from- school
2 - This is creative, but I think this is the place you have more potential to trim down the word...
Undergraduatemeggo2014 - Oct 10, 2013 / dumi - Oct 10, 2013
|The terminal introduction: Cosmos...meet Humanity (Colorado College Intellectual Adventure)
2 - This actually sounds so cool- you make me want to take the class! I think it's pretty solid overall....
UndergraduateErikd - Sep 28, 2013 / dreamingoutloud - Oct 10, 2013
|In technical theater there is never a dull moment; COMMON APP : Environment
4 - hello! I really like this essay. The only thing I would say is to put in somewhere, exactly why...
UndergraduateDsconzo - Oct 4, 2013 / marylace - Oct 9, 2013
|Med-O-lark/grades do not reflect me; Environment/Ability & Potential
UndergraduateAlejandrokepp - Oct 6, 2013 / nellasaras - Oct 9, 2013
|All my life, I've always had a way with words; Place
Undergraduatemarylace - Oct 9, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 9, 2013
|My Room; Common App Essay. PROMPT "Describe a place or environment where you are content"
6 - I resonate with the difficulty of this essay, as I'm trying to write on this prompt as well. But...
Undergraduateawesome_irl - Sep 30, 2013 / marylace - Oct 9, 2013
|I'm completely literate with technology; GEEK? NERD? NEITHER?
Undergraduatezsweiss - Oct 4, 2013 / nellasaras - Oct 9, 2013
|None of these words can describe a person; Fresno Pacific/ Faithfulness, Wisdom, Service
Undergraduatesoc1237 - Oct 7, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 9, 2013
|My research interest lies in political transition,conflicts & democrat consolidation; SOP
Undergraduatepulp - Oct 5, 2013 / admission2012 - Oct 9, 2013
|Should we tell when friend cheating exams ?/ ETHICAL DILEMMA
Undergraduatetalkatip - Oct 7, 2013 / dumi - Oct 9, 2013
|The community service - Why Tulane? ; Major - Political Science/ International Relations
3 - I think fallenchemist provides you some good insight for this response. I too feel you need to have some...
UndergraduateSinigoma1 - Oct 7, 2013 / dumi - Oct 9, 2013
|The Gym - Common App Essay: A Meaningful Environment
4 - I absolutely love it! Wonderful job; No cliches, and well written. And honestly, you don't even need that very...
Undergraduateblulub - Oct 5, 2013 / Anumeha - Oct 8, 2013
|I come from two different cultures; UC Personal Statement
6 - Your bi-cultural identity is a great topic for the "World You Come From" essay. To improve this essay, think...
Undergraduateccanales - Oct 6, 2013 / dearadmissions - Oct 8, 2013
|extracurricular, personal activities, or work experiences?
4 - You really need to talk about what you did...not what extracurricular can do for others! Did you volunteer? Play...
UndergraduateDuaa_T - Sep 14, 2013 / hannahkr09 - Oct 7, 2013
|ADOPTION; U Wisconsin Madison - UNNOTICED
3 - It's pretty good. I would elaborate more on how adoption has made you a better person and your sister......
Undergraduateaps456 - Sep 23, 2013 / hannahkr09 - Oct 7, 2013
|A Personality in Phases - Colorado College Supplement Essay
UndergraduateErikd - Sep 28, 2013 / Erikd - Oct 6, 2013
|How my GPA dropped - Personal statement
Undergraduatejooaannnx - Oct 6, 2013 / jooaannnx - Oct 6, 2013
|Trapped in Malaysia. Common App prompt. Accomplishment, event, personal talent, experience
2 - I feel like this essay has great potential, except it doesn't concentrate on a main point enough. In my...
UndergraduateDuaa_T - Oct 6, 2013 / blulub - Oct 6, 2013
|ALIGNMENT with my goals not found; [TRANSFER Essay]Common App for top-tier schools
Undergraduatedeathstroke - Sep 27, 2013 / deathstroke - Oct 6, 2013
|As a child, I never appreciated school ; Florida State University
Undergraduatewontonvy45 - Oct 5, 2013 / dumi - Oct 6, 2013
|I AM A LOSER; Common App essay (a time I overcame failure)- CROSS COUNTRY
Undergraduateaagassner - Oct 5, 2013 / dumi - Oct 6, 2013
|Driving a handicap - Common App: Challenged Idea of Belief
UndergraduateChristianB - Oct 4, 2013 / ChristianB - Oct 5, 2013
|UT - Undergraduate Transfer Essay - Statement of Purpose - Electrical Engineering!
2 - the introduction seem right and logic some tips you can represent more on you major and show your advantages...
Undergraduatebagelsbagels - Oct 4, 2013 / aster0224 - Oct 5, 2013
|The battle of mind with seventy five other champions in Worldwide Competition on Microsoft Office
Undergraduatesarthakjain - Sep 6, 2013 / dumi - Oct 4, 2013
|POWER; UVA College/What is your favorite word and why?
3 - ... "my life" is getting repeated heavily :( I guess your word should have appeared much earlier than...
UndergraduateExpIore - Sep 23, 2013 / dumi - Oct 4, 2013
|Smith creates an environment where I can proudly do what I love!
Undergraduatelehahaiphuong - Oct 1, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 4, 2013
|Challenges faced in a foreign land ; UCF Common App
Undergraduategchc05 - Oct 1, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 4, 2013
|I thought I was tough; " What Tough is " - TULANE PERSONAL STATEMENT
2 - The idea behind this essay is phenomenal and really touching. I don't think you should change the ending at...
UndergraduateSinigoma1 - Oct 3, 2013 / baileynmerrill - Oct 3, 2013
|Essay on Volunteering in Chinese National Guard, common app
7 - you could start your essay with something dramatic like "Police officers are known as the safeguard in society. They...
Undergraduatechristopherpeng - Oct 9, 2011 / skila92 - Oct 3, 2013
|The pride and unity; Virginia Tech Essay/ 5 reasons you want to be a Hokie
Undergraduatecbirdy - Oct 2, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 3, 2013
|Excellence is a prime weapon of a dexter person; "excellence is a habit"
4 - First, you should present your essayin a more tidy manner. Throughout the essay you begin your sentences with simple...
Undergraduateumesh prasad - Sep 19, 2013 / dumi - Oct 3, 2013
|I tend to ignore problems by dancing; personal quality / Common App
Undergraduatektang96 - Oct 1, 2013 / dumi - Oct 3, 2013
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