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|Music releases my stress ; Extracurricular Activities
Undergraduatepunkiebell17 - Oct 16, 2013 / punkiebell17 - Oct 17, 2013
|What motivated you to apply to TFI and why is it important to you that you are accepted
3 - Apart from the few change by the poster before me,your essay was superb!!! I felt your story I connected...
Undergraduatechondamma4 - Oct 15, 2013 / generalshepherd - Oct 17, 2013
|'Not afraid, freed.' - COMMON APP ESSAY
Undergraduateyumandragore - Oct 16, 2013 / yumandragore - Oct 17, 2013
|"A Child Called It." ; VT personal statement; writing, music, film or other creative work
NEW - I'm extremely nervous and want to be accepted to Virginia Tech more than anything... Please let me know what...
Undergraduatemadeliblo - Oct 16, 2013 / — -
|My mattress ; Common App ; Environment - perfectly content
3 - The bedroom scenario as a place of absolute peace is quite typical.It would help if you could find some...
Undergraduateloreneli113 - Oct 16, 2013 / Foriya - Oct 16, 2013
|Yale's perfectly fitting curriculum and support system; Engineering
2 - Just a reminder that colleges don't want you to brag about what you have done or accomplished, or list...
Undergraduatepooleye - Oct 15, 2013 / yumandragore - Oct 16, 2013
|I have been playing soccer since I was four; Duke University ; Extracurricular activities
9 - Um, yeah that'll work. Try to make it into a story. Describe a game. For example, With only a...
Undergraduatealextloft28 - Oct 14, 2013 / sthakur - Oct 16, 2013
|Our tree is painted maroon and orange; VIRGINIA TECH / Top 5 reasons I want to be a Hokie?
3 - thanks! I made this correction: Habitual American families accustomed to holiday traditions likely witness the celebration of Christmas...
Undergraduategraceduquette - Oct 15, 2013 / graceduquette - Oct 16, 2013
|American culture; Describe a setting in which you have collaborated/interacted with people
UndergraduateAznboi - Oct 14, 2013 / Aznboi - Oct 16, 2013
|My parents and two brothers; UC Prompt 1: Describe the world you come from
2 - .... this gives an impression that they positively contributed towards motivating you. But as you proceed it's kind...
Undergraduaterp2013 - Oct 16, 2013 / dumi - Oct 16, 2013
|My dominating friend; FORDHAM UNIVERSITY
UndergraduateMiranda123 - Oct 9, 2013 / rp2013 - Oct 16, 2013
|She dyed her hair red for Christmas; My identity/ Common App Essay- 1st paragraph
3 - There's no clarification in these first two sentences. It can be a bit confusing to the reader. Are...
UndergraduateAnumeha - Oct 8, 2013 / Miranda123 - Oct 15, 2013
|UVA supplement-What's your favorite word and why? 250
9 - This is such an intriguing essay! To improve this even more, I suggest that you expand upon the last...
Undergraduatewuhen - Oct 15, 2013 / 13etoiles - Oct 15, 2013
|The world can be compared to a seesaw both filled with highs and lows; FSU
Undergraduatechrisarecool - Oct 15, 2013 / dumi - Oct 15, 2013
|Family Responsibilities and Duties; Business Admin (Finance) Major:)
UndergraduateAjtgirl11 - Oct 14, 2013 / admission2012 - Oct 15, 2013
|Eric Thomas. Circumstance, obstacle or conflict in your life, skills and resources.
UndergraduateAznboi - Oct 14, 2013 / Aznboi - Oct 15, 2013
|My ambitions were high: COMMON APP / Recount an incident or time when you experienced
Undergraduaterohankrishnar - Oct 15, 2013 / chondamma4 - Oct 15, 2013
|I had one criterion/ Vassar Supplement- "why Vassar?"
Undergraduatedreamingoutloud - Oct 10, 2013 / dumi - Oct 15, 2013
|WATER SKIING; Florida State University; "Characteristic appealing to me"
3 - Learning is the characteristic that appeals to me the most. A strong foundation in water-skiing contributed to my immediate...
Undergraduatebenzgarrison - Oct 9, 2013 / dumi - Oct 15, 2013
|"Go practice," said my mother; Essay About failure (COMMON APP)
3 - ...it taught me the importance of preparing well for everything I do. I read your response in full...
Undergraduateheyitsme - Oct 9, 2013 / dumi - Oct 15, 2013
|My letters to Justin Bieber; Story central to identity/ belief
Undergraduaterachhell475 - Oct 1, 2013 / dumi - Oct 15, 2013
|UVA Supplement: My favorite word- Sankalpa (Determination)
2 - hey, i am applying UVA too. You reveal a very persuasive story about the word, i like it!!!! the...
Undergraduatesthakur - Oct 14, 2013 / wuhen - Oct 15, 2013
|Little bit of everything;Santa Clara/ How did I hear about the school? What appeals to me?
Undergraduaterussell - Oct 14, 2013 / alextloft28 - Oct 15, 2013
|My experience in RIFLERY; Common App
6 - Umm... my essay was actually about how I, a reticent girl who shut up herself from the outside world,...
UndergraduateAngell - Oct 12, 2013 / Angell - Oct 15, 2013
|The hospital is a place where I have always felt comfortable; The Flying of A Dream
UndergraduateCallMeDoctor - Oct 14, 2013 / sthakur - Oct 14, 2013
|I stood at attention in front of a panel of five emotionles men-Eagle Scout,Transformation
NEW - Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture,...
Undergraduateaaron_cann - Oct 14, 2013 / — -
|"Your son is itching to gain all the knowledge in the world"; Rutgers U
2 - I have always been an active individual who looks forward to go through challenges and help other people in...
Undergraduateanoopam - Oct 14, 2013 / Elementary11 - Oct 14, 2013
|'top ranked' Georgia Tech Suppl. Essay- Why are you interested in attening Georgia Tech
2 - I think you should stray from being so explicit and try to be more creative with your writing. Use...
Undergraduateaaron_cann - Oct 14, 2013 / sthakur - Oct 14, 2013
|Nothing beats the awesomeness of becoming a Hokie fan
3 - Thank you for your advice. I have changed up a few things. Please help me to determine whether they...
Undergraduatedatazz390 - Oct 14, 2013 / datazz390 - Oct 14, 2013
|RUTGERS essay about my involvement in the arts- should i go with a different topic?!
3 - I think this is a good topic, but like the first person said I've learned way more about your...
Undergraduatekburke304 - Oct 7, 2013 / suziwar - Oct 14, 2013
|Harvard Supplement Short Answer - Briefly elaborate on one of extracurricular activities
UndergraduateAnnaTheGreat - Oct 14, 2013 / admission2012 - Oct 14, 2013
|I got an F in two subjects; Personal Essay/ personal or academic matters
2 - I dont understand the first sentence, I see no need for a comma after the word, 'successfully" The same...
Undergraduatedallas50 - Oct 14, 2013 / stephanieXdee - Oct 14, 2013
|Learning appeals most to me; FSU/ leadership, learning, service, and global awareness
2 - Leadership, learning, service and global awareness together makes one well-rounded. However, learning appeals to me the most. ...
Undergraduatebowenee - Oct 13, 2013 / dumi - Oct 14, 2013
|'Where passion sprouts' - Personal Essay on Common App; A place I feel the most content
Undergraduatejsk_jin1 - Oct 13, 2013 / dumi - Oct 14, 2013
|"holistic" care ; Essay for Accelerated BSN Program for Spring 2014
2 - .... that part is getting repeated. You have used the same phrase in the previous line too. I...
Undergraduatepfishermsw - Oct 7, 2013 / dumi - Oct 14, 2013
|Define: Success. Common App Essay 3, recount failure. Debate.
Undergraduateyennhihoang - Oct 13, 2013 / swagmaster420x - Oct 14, 2013
|'My siter's success' - Commonapp essay: Having a twin.
7 - i like your essay, but i think you should include a specific event(s). it will draw the attention of...
UndergraduateGrltwinz - Oct 12, 2013 / swagmaster420x - Oct 13, 2013
|Pura Vida - UF Undergraduate Admissions Essay
2 - you should be more specific as to how you were uniquely affected by the experience, because at the moment...
Undergraduatesummersayre - Oct 13, 2013 / swagmaster420x - Oct 13, 2013
|Spain. The country where I grabbed ahold of every opportunity offered to me and discovered who I am
4 - Thank you for that! wow that's very interesting feedback I had never considered it like that. But in that...
Undergraduatepuppyluvz - Oct 12, 2013 / puppyluvz - Oct 13, 2013
|Most people think that being "content" means being completely satisfied; (contentedness)
2 - I think with a prompt like this what the admissions people are looking for is a lot of detail....
Undergraduateaksteele16 - Oct 13, 2013 / Dr Cool - Oct 13, 2013
|I continue to push myself harder every day; Stanford: intellectual vitality
4 - I agree with the other two. Maybe start with an anecdote about a certain event, and show me how...
UndergraduateAfrica - Oct 12, 2013 / ChristianB - Oct 13, 2013
|Why me and why FIT? The next step for a bright future
UndergraduateNatali09 - Oct 13, 2013 / dumi - Oct 13, 2013
|I DAYDREAM A LOT; my Common app
UndergraduateGrltwinz - Oct 12, 2013 / admission2012 - Oct 13, 2013
|I have enjoyed reading Frankenstein by Mary Shelly - Short Answer Crisis!
4 - Thank you!...
Undergraduateindianwriter - Oct 7, 2013 / indianwriter - Oct 13, 2013
|Coming from a family with Computing background; My Writing Supplement of Georgia Tech
3 - Hello, Submitting an essay like this will certainly get you rejected if your grades/SAT scores are not well...
Undergraduatepavel - Oct 13, 2013 / admission2012 - Oct 13, 2013
|I was confident about the exam : Account of my failure
UndergraduateHelloPeople - Oct 12, 2013 / HelloPeople - Oct 13, 2013
|ART ESSAY ABOUT "LAKE" THE SLOW MOTION VIDEO OF CANADIAN ARTIST ERIN SHERRIFF
Undergraduatemariacb - Oct 6, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 13, 2013
|Barnard College/How did you first learned about Barnard & Why you think it's a good match?
2 - I don't really get this part. What made the promise to help you? Perusing the catalogue? Maybe it'll...
Undergraduatecaramcdoom - Oct 12, 2013 / Grltwinz - Oct 12, 2013
|Discover multiple microcosms within this unique language- supplement for Georgia Tech
Undergraduatekrishtib - Oct 5, 2013 / tayleeb - Oct 12, 2013
|History repeats itself; BACKGROUND or STORY - central to identity
4 - Okay, then my only suggestion would be to make sure you clarify for the reader what you meant by...
Undergraduatebaejoseph - Oct 10, 2013 / tayleeb - Oct 12, 2013
|Transition from private to public school; How my community has shaped me - UC
3 - The transition from a private, predominantly white middle school to a diverse public school with several hundreds of...
Undergraduatemaaaaddogg - Sep 30, 2013 / dumi - Oct 12, 2013
|'answers for why taking computer science'; my curiosity in technology
4 - Zab's personal statement; Need help Dear Sir/Madam, I would like to strongly state that I have a...
Undergraduateykarlina - Sep 18, 2012 / Zabihullah - Oct 11, 2013
|My red sixth place ribbon ; Common App Essay About Failure
3 - Even if your essay would not have been plagiarized, you still would need to redo it. The essay...
Undergraduatebuttermybacon - Oct 10, 2013 / ChristianB - Oct 11, 2013
|As an accountant I work with diverse people; North Carolina State: Diversity
3 - I'm very interested in reading your paper; however, I cannot see it (I'm not quite sure why). Could you...
Undergraduatebenzgarrison - Oct 11, 2013 / ChristianB - Oct 11, 2013
|DEALING WITH OTHERS: tell us about a personal quality, talent, contribution, or experience
3 - I know you mention it a bit later in the essay, but the first sentence about anime is rendered...
Undergraduatemeggo2014 - Oct 10, 2013 / tayleeb - Oct 11, 2013
|"Nathaniel is in no rush to leave"; UNC Chapel Hill : Challenging an Idea or Belief
5 - I like it! I also really like the mentioning the weather again at the end, especially how it's more...
UndergraduateChristianB - Oct 10, 2013 / tayleeb - Oct 11, 2013
|'we Mongolians' Essay about my self and the background that shaped me
Undergraduatepushki - Oct 11, 2013 / pushki - Oct 11, 2013
|My stork got lost : my story
Undergraduatekumku - Oct 7, 2013 / fahadbd - Oct 11, 2013
|Volunteering; OLD DOMINION UNIVERSITY/ACTIVITIES, ACHIEVEMENTS
UndergraduateUNIEQUIDREAMS07 - Oct 10, 2013 / ChristianB - Oct 10, 2013
|First attention-grabbing brochure; Why Reed ?
Undergraduatemonigr - Sep 29, 2013 / dumi - Oct 10, 2013
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