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|Person Who Influenced (Princeton): My Father and the Butterfly
3 - I like your story but one thing you could do would be to include a topic sentence/paragraph and concluding...
Undergraduateyosh503037 - Sep 13, 2013 / Th25cc - Sep 15, 2013
|Visiting Duke; Common App - Trinity College of Arts & Sciences/ Duke a good match
2 - The prompt says you should respond if you're applying to the Trinity College of Arts and Sciences. I'm not...
UndergraduateAmason034 - Sep 15, 2013 / Th25cc - Sep 15, 2013
|Chain Breaker; SoP: Grandmothers and "feminist" goals
4 - I would say your idea fits the promp quite well. It shows how a certain event influenced your live...
Undergraduateyumandragore - Sep 3, 2013 / Vin - Sep 15, 2013
|'Bored of being a social nobody' UBC Application Essay--Activity Essay
4 - WOW. Thank you John! I really appreciate your long reply! Harshness is good! :) Yeah..I also feel something's missing...
Undergraduateky402 - Sep 12, 2013 / ky402 - Sep 15, 2013
|Child Abuse and what it did to me; Event that changed my life (Common App)
UndergraduateKobesso - Aug 21, 2013 / dumi - Sep 14, 2013
|Better prepare myself for my future; Student program/ GOALS
3 - .... I highlighted the sections that speak of more or less the same idea repeatedly. I think it's...
Undergraduatealexriv0 - Aug 20, 2013 / dumi - Sep 14, 2013
|I set my value on life for others, which can be compared to "Blue Ocean"; UW-Madison Essay
Undergraduatedeullepark - Sep 11, 2013 / CallMeDoctor - Sep 14, 2013
|Meaningly Cultural Event/Publication/Book (Columbia): The Wire
Undergraduateyosh503037 - Sep 13, 2013 / yosh503037 - Sep 14, 2013
|I am glad to introduce myself. Requisition for the PhD program
2 - Hey Arun, Preliminarily, I would like to preface this by saying that it is quite well-written so far...
Undergraduatebiotecharun - Sep 12, 2013 / yosh503037 - Sep 14, 2013
|STANFORD SUPPLEMENT- letter to roommate "challenge accepted"
2 - Hey Alisa, Thanks for being able to read through my essays (and sorry for the slight delay to...
Undergraduatehelloimyellow - Sep 6, 2013 / yosh503037 - Sep 14, 2013
|"What would you do if you see a beggar?"l Stanford intellectual vitality essay
2 - A lot of people have called me 'an intellectual', but they don't call a science dictionary an intellectual. (What...
Undergraduatepaul2752 - Sep 8, 2013 / ktang96 - Sep 14, 2013
|In Mathematics when you draw a function you essentially have a map; Michigan TRANSFER
2 - 1. First, almost definitely remove the reference to "than at Michigan State University." The last line might be fine...
Undergraduategb3ry - Sep 7, 2013 / yosh503037 - Sep 13, 2013
|A good song is like a time machine; What work challenged you, and in what way?
2 - One song in particular inspires me and gets me to ponder into deep thoughts. Well... I think you...
Undergraduatetaylor213 - Sep 8, 2013 / dumi - Sep 13, 2013
|No one is born an Einstein; Influential essay commonapp
UndergraduateMadhavandawg - Sep 7, 2013 / dumi - Sep 13, 2013
|A variety of factors influenced my decision to pursue my studies in becoming a PA
2 - Hope this will help you My introductory character building started in fifth evaluation when my father decided to...
Undergraduatefuturepa27 - Sep 5, 2013 / huntsman - Sep 13, 2013
|I remembered my decision while seeing my father repairing television STUDY OBJECTIVES
4 - I feel you are there, but wish if you improve its organization and flow. Things seem to be scattered...
Undergraduaterolima - Sep 11, 2013 / dumi - Sep 11, 2013
|Solar Panels; UVA College of Arts & Sciences
UndergraduateMfrazzano - Dec 24, 2012 / STE2135341 - Sep 9, 2013
|Rural entrepreneurship; MOTIVATION LETTER
NEW - I invite to all to check (Grammar, mis-appropreate word etc) this motivation letter. Dear sir, I would like...
Undergraduatesharif2bd - Sep 9, 2013 / — -
|Multiple disciplines; Why are you interested in attending Georgia Tech
3 - I think the school will like that you know a lot about it. It definitely shows your interest....
Undergraduateroxy481 - Sep 8, 2013 / SashaMunch - Sep 8, 2013
|These family values accompany me wherever I go; RUTGERS U- VIBRANT COMMUNITY
2 - dear zafarm I do not find your writing intresting. and by middle of it, I was bored. you should...
Undergraduatezafarm3 - Sep 3, 2013 / marmaria - Sep 8, 2013
|"My biggest blunder; cutting down the wrong tree"- Common app essay
Undergraduateafwebb - Dec 29, 2010 / thisweirdkid - Sep 7, 2013
|Everybody is special ; Penwasciz Medical Prog - Whycareer in healthcare
UndergraduateEvergreen22 - Sep 1, 2013 / Evergreen22 - Sep 7, 2013
|I loved science, so I did not concentrate on learning English; UT App- Personal Essay
14 - I revise my essay and also finish the other. Could everybody continue to comment about the idea and grammar...
Undergraduatekido - Aug 12, 2013 / kido - Sep 6, 2013
|I made a difference; Common App supplement- describe an activity
3 - I second what IntelligentS said. It appears you only started volunteering for getting in college which may not sit...
Undergraduatedreamingoutloud - Sep 2, 2013 / sarthakjain - Sep 5, 2013
|Identify & refine academic & personal goals; Bentley University; numerous opportunities
2 - I think you have researched well on the university, but there are certain grammatical errors in the essay which...
Undergraduatehmo123 - Aug 31, 2013 / sarthakjain - Sep 4, 2013
|I wait silently in the chair,nervously rubbing my palms- App Transition to Adulthood
2 - This essay is really good, as how you integrated your experience with your research and the college environment you...
UndergraduateredCrayons - Sep 3, 2013 / sarthakjain - Sep 3, 2013
|When I was two and a half, my parents divorced; Story central to identity - Common App
2 - They lived together for twelve more years in a cycle: Peace. Tension. Argument. The "Blow-Up." Dad's disappearance. Then Mom's...
Undergraduatemadisonraex - Sep 3, 2013 / sroa5 - Sep 3, 2013
|Watching the death of a family member; Central Florida Personal Statement
2 - Luckily for me, he was a very stubborn man who refused to endure chemotherapy, so I never saw the...
Undergraduatejtkjackie - Sep 3, 2013 / sroa5 - Sep 3, 2013
|Obstacles are an everyday occurrence in life; obstacle or conflict in your life
7 - I think your essay is good and needs a little more detail in the intro making the reader want...
Undergraduatemadisongreen - Aug 27, 2013 / nessa219 - Sep 3, 2013
|Coming from a third-world country& raised by a widowed Mom;Re-admission personal statement
UndergraduateUchennaObikile - Sep 2, 2013 / fahadbd - Sep 3, 2013
|I can't sport a tank-top;[TRANSFER Essay] - for Harvard, Brown, Dartmouth, etc...
Undergraduatedeathstroke - Sep 3, 2013 / deathstroke - Sep 3, 2013
|Conquering a Vacuum ; Common App Failure Essay
4 - Interesting take on the essay, but Id say focus more on how it affected you and what more lessons...
UndergraduateLAMuniv - Aug 21, 2013 / Chantal - Sep 3, 2013
|Failing the Placement Test : Common Application Personal Essay
2 - I don't think this totally fits right into any of the prompts, but once you pick one you could...
Undergraduateflyinjoe - Sep 2, 2013 / dreamingoutloud - Sep 2, 2013
|Born an identical twin; Personal Statement for University of Washington
2 - Running around in IBM's T.J. Watson Research center Also in the above sentence, you do not introduce who...
Undergraduatecannie253 - Aug 30, 2013 / flyinjoe - Sep 2, 2013
|"Why is geography important?" - it is globalized
Undergraduatenoraa - Sep 2, 2013 / noraa - Sep 2, 2013
|Strains and stresses of living away from home while learning; "why Yale?"
4 - Yeah brilliant cheers. The extra "is" is a typo which i accidentally left there after editing. Ok then, perhaps...
UndergraduateRaleigh9 - Sep 1, 2013 / Raleigh9 - Sep 2, 2013
|The circumstances I grew up in never bothered me; Quest Bridge College Match Bio
Undergraduatep93kelly - Sep 1, 2013 / p93kelly - Sep 1, 2013
|As of now I am still in Clinton; background or story/College Essay
UndergraduateJp454584 - Aug 31, 2013 / Chantal - Sep 1, 2013
|I want to make a difference and leave the most positive impact on the world - activities
Undergraduatemadisongreen - Aug 28, 2013 / sr005307 - Sep 1, 2013
|good people in a good place; My strange reasons for transfer essay
2 - This essay is just beautiful and poignant. Honestly, this is one of the best pieces I've read lately. There...
Undergraduatemarkovnick - Sep 1, 2013 / shadman19922 - Sep 1, 2013
|'Bobby Kennedy' A PERSONAL STATEMENT, FACTORS THAT HAVE HAD LASTING IMPACT ON MY LIFE.
3 - Thanks for the heads up. Wanna be kind enough to suggest one of those creative ways you know of?...
Undergraduateckgunu - Aug 29, 2013 / ckgunu - Aug 31, 2013
|My introduction is about having a good career and a happy fulfilling personal life.
4 - thank your for your interest.I need to support someone.Also I have to write 5 paragraph essay....
Undergraduatenazlii - Aug 31, 2013 / nazlii - Aug 31, 2013
|I speak out about my religious belief; College Application Essay to TAMU
2 - Where is the setting, where is the collaboration my friend? All you have spilled is your diary thoughts so...
UndergraduateDillJone - Aug 28, 2013 / studentadvisor - Aug 31, 2013
|My interests are primarily in Atmosphere; letter of motivation
2 - Do not say I have this I have that. You should introduce yourself and your abilities more fluently....
Undergraduatennandi - Aug 30, 2013 / ah_zafari - Aug 30, 2013
|My stay at Ironwood; Meaningful experience
3 - "my grades were declining, my future was deteriorating, and my care for life was slipping ." Instead, switch the...
Undergraduatekatieecohen96 - Aug 25, 2013 / AutumnRayne - Aug 30, 2013
|"The Pill Book."; pharmacy school application
3 - They sell general admission all day... they don't sell out... but if you want a good position around the...
Undergraduateexcer50 - Aug 22, 2013 / nelsonwilliam84 - Aug 30, 2013
|Throughout my life, I've strived to be the best in order to reach my goals; UT Austin
Undergraduatekaylurrr - Aug 26, 2013 / kaylurrr - Aug 29, 2013
|I am the leader /qualities or unique characteristics;Florida Gulf Coast U
UndergraduateSean321 - Aug 28, 2013 / madisongreen - Aug 29, 2013
|It is a common expression that life is a journey; TAMU TRANSFER PAPER
3 - I think is awesome that even with autism you are striving for excellence. First and foremost I noticed a...
Undergraduatevendorkils - Aug 25, 2013 / mopoohaddict - Aug 28, 2013
|These three adventures... High School Senior English Class
Undergraduatemaplesh0sh0 - Aug 28, 2013 / ssaallaamm - Aug 28, 2013
|This is me, your roommate; stanford essay - Write a note
2 - Your first piece which is addressed to your future roommate is great. I'm like you in many terms except...
Undergraduatesarthakjain - Aug 28, 2013 / thisweirdkid - Aug 28, 2013
|How Blogging Changed My Life- UC Admissions Personal Statement
5 - Can you list at least ten different phrases, clauses, or sentences pertaining to the question above? If not,...
Undergraduatealj647 - Aug 11, 2013 / jkjeremy - Aug 26, 2013
|My heart was pumping like it never had before; Yale engineering
NEW - Hello, I am posting a yale engineering essay : "2E). If you selected one of the engineering majors, please...
Undergraduatesarthakjain - Aug 26, 2013 / — -
|My Hair; Common App Essay (Share Your Story)
Undergraduatejjdt - Aug 22, 2013 / Essayist19 - Aug 26, 2013
|UNEQUAL EQUALITY; recent incident that took place in India.
2 - An eminent intellectual said that the underdeveloped communities were the most corrupt communities at the Literature Festival,which their remarks...
Undergraduateheartbeat - Aug 24, 2013 / reckless - Aug 25, 2013
|University of Washington - Winter 14 Transfer Personal Statement. 9/1 LOL
3 - you can't possibly mean winter 2014 deadline? This is what stated on the website: The application will remain...
Undergraduatepmbaker93 - Aug 25, 2013 / pmbaker93 - Aug 25, 2013
|CommonApp - extracirricular activities and extenuating circumstances grammar check
Undergraduatetrilam153 - Aug 23, 2013 / trilam153 - Aug 23, 2013
|That day was perfect; Virg. Tech college admission essay
2 - Your description of the perfect day is quite nice. But I don't understand why it is the best day...
Undergraduateerineh127 - Aug 22, 2013 / shadman19922 - Aug 22, 2013
|'I feel best being with my family'. COMMON APP
Undergraduatebkim2468 - Aug 18, 2013 / dumi - Aug 21, 2013
|I won the competition ; CORNELL SUPP; Engineering Idea
Undergraduatecornell2mit - Aug 19, 2013 / cornell2mit - Aug 21, 2013
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