|Undergraduate [25,739] - page 98 of 429|
|My past is what made me who I am; UW personal Statement
7 - You could have conveyed every single idea here in fewer than 800 words. That's what I mean (at least...
UndergraduateNK21 - Aug 14, 2013 / jkjeremy - Aug 14, 2013
|Math has always been my strength ; UA&P
14 - Hi Duminda Could you please check my essay as well.Again I have started preparing for IELTS. Thanks....
Undergraduatehanyoojung - Jul 26, 2013 / Arun0506 - Aug 14, 2013
|Lifelong reward career; Nurse Practitioner program
5 - Much better. If you read your essay then you'll find a lot of grammatical errors, redundancies and sentences that...
Undergraduatelatinarn - Aug 8, 2013 / sngbm87 - Aug 13, 2013
|Learn about new cultures and serve people; Peace Corps
2 - Hello, I'll give some of the best advice I ever offer about writng: Throw fewer punches that don't land....
Undergraduateexcell59 - Aug 12, 2013 / EF_Kevin - Aug 13, 2013
|My Mom Isn't a Superhero - transition from childhood to adulthood
27 - Hi Mare. I hope you are reading this. I literally JUST read and responded to your email from...
Undergraduatemarecrowley - Jul 16, 2013 / jkjeremy - Aug 12, 2013
|member of the Philippine Society of Youth Science Camp-EXPERIENCES DEFINED YOU AS A PERSON
2 - Rewrite it. The 1st sentence is redundant from your application. Dont repeat information already listed. The ending is confusing...
Undergraduatedweii - Aug 12, 2013 / sksbl88 - Aug 12, 2013
|The Rose's Shadow: (My Common app personal staement)
3 - This is very good and written very cleverly. Very original as well. Although I see one major problem and...
Undergraduatepwillis52x - Aug 11, 2013 / sksbl88 - Aug 12, 2013
|First, and only, child of my devoted parents; World you come from- UC/ PS
2 - Good start and good topic. It's relevant to your major. ...but... There are too many long sentences. Doesn't...
Undergraduatealj647 - Aug 10, 2013 / sksbl88 - Aug 11, 2013
|ANIMATOR; Statement of purpose for Scad (Animation interest)
5 - ...Why did you want to be an Animator? What inspired you to develop such passion? You need to...
UndergraduateLil twist - Jul 21, 2013 / dumi - Aug 11, 2013
|I know that I LOVE science; Cornell Engineering Supp
UndergraduaterElax17 - Jul 24, 2013 / dumi - Aug 10, 2013
|I believe that I am a good student; PERSONAL STATEMENT - WARWICK HEFP
6 - I believe that I am a very organized student. I never have a difficulty in meeting deadlines of...
Undergraduatepwnerboomz - Jul 24, 2013 / dumi - Aug 10, 2013
|KEEP YOUR HEAD UP! - Motivation to be a Physician Assistant (Application Essay)
2 - Receiving my Urban EMT certificate and training in wilderness medicine from the National Outdoor Leadership School of Lander, Wyoming...
Undergraduatekimschauer - Aug 7, 2013 / mary1226 - Aug 10, 2013
|Love for the outdoors; Rutgers U - Trekking to Malaysia
4 - Getting into a college does not only mean being just educated and finishing it with a degree, to me...
Undergraduateallyferns2495 - Jul 22, 2013 / dumi - Aug 10, 2013
|I want to go to the college to become a musical theater actress
Undergraduatecoffee_princess - Aug 6, 2013 / dumi - Aug 10, 2013
|NO TWO PEOPLE ARE THE SAME; FAMU Essay Prompt.
5 - First, your word limit is small, so take out the first three sentences; you don't have room for unnecessary...
UndergraduateDaTru3Life - Aug 7, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Aug 9, 2013
|my teachers never really cared about me; UCF College App
4 - This is a good starting response, but you need to narrow your focus to one obstacle or "bump in...
Undergraduatenathan1818 - Aug 9, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Aug 9, 2013
|My fascination with human biology ; INTERNSHIP ESSAY
3 - I have been interested in medicine and patientspatient care ever since I was very young. My fascination with human...
UndergraduateAvatar - Aug 5, 2013 / bienie - Aug 8, 2013
|the man who is the monster of nature ; Butterfly Cirsus
UndergraduateKacingoc2904 - Aug 7, 2013 / Kacingoc2904 - Aug 7, 2013
|Service Academy Nomination Essay - "Why do you Want to Attend a Service Academy?"
4 - Well, you could mention some personal experiences and how your past skills fit into your future goals of attending...
UndergraduateRdelahunr - Aug 2, 2013 / Trisha - Aug 6, 2013
|'My Double Helix' / 'interest in the life science' - Columbia Supplement 2013
NEW - - Tell us what you found meaningful about one of the above mentioned books, publications or cultural events. The...
Undergraduatepianowoman27 - Aug 4, 2013 / — -
|My life in Haiti ; Challenge I have faced and how it has shaped my thinking
Undergraduatezfanfore - Jul 21, 2013 / dumi - Aug 3, 2013
|VEGANISM; Cornell college; IDEA / CENTRAL STORY TO MY IDENTITY
Undergraduateandreaf96 - Aug 2, 2013 / dumi - Aug 3, 2013
|Son, daughter, grandchild, I have none; - Blueprint for the future
6 - I absolutely love this, why was it written, just for fun, have captured a picture of you I think...
Undergraduatetrilam153 - Jul 29, 2013 / Sacredhoop56 - Jul 31, 2013
|Yes, I'm a maverick; Personal Statement
Undergraduatenerdykid1 - Jul 25, 2013 / nerdykid1 - Jul 30, 2013
|'A varsity player in chess' - Significant experiences/accomplishment
5 - Yes, this essay is for Ateneo. Thank you very much for the corrections! I appreciate them a lot. :)...
Undergraduateadella - Jul 28, 2013 / adella - Jul 29, 2013
|Why I'm a top cadidate for Einstein MC Philadelphia program - Radiologic Technology
UndergraduateChinolatino215 - Jul 28, 2013 / Chinolatino215 - Jul 28, 2013
|I am scared; There is a tornado outside Toronto airport!
3 - Can you identify where? because i wrote it and probably egocentrism took place. It's hard for me to...
Undergraduatetrilam153 - Jul 27, 2013 / trilam153 - Jul 27, 2013
|'I don't give up' University of Texas at Austin Transfer Essay- SOP Topic A
4 - .... I feel it's better you started your response with this line. It explains how your passion began. Your...
Undergraduatericketts800 - Jul 26, 2013 / dumi - Jul 26, 2013
|"The tunnel that changed me" - Common app/ Place that I am perfectly contented!
3 - Thank you so much for your comment!! I'll definitely fix the grammatical errors you pointed out for me!...
Undergraduate13etoiles - Jul 23, 2013 / 13etoiles - Jul 26, 2013
|"Customers are always right" OR"Teachers are always right"; Ateneo Application Essay
Undergraduatehanyoojung - Jul 11, 2013 / hanyoojung - Jul 26, 2013
|Application essay-changing major from Architecture to Computer Science
2 - This is a great essay in my opinion. I do not know much about computer science, but it really...
Undergraduatesaraad - Jul 22, 2013 / StellMer - Jul 23, 2013
|"Which one is the smarter twin?"- Common App; background or story
9 - I'm a writing instructor. Thanks for the compliment. You're a bright "kid." Although they aren't necessarily...
Undergraduatemarecrowley - Jun 12, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 23, 2013
|My eyes were set on UT for quite some time; UT Austin Transfer/SOP
Undergraduatenazopo - Jul 16, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 23, 2013
|In the eyes of the people we helped, we are truly heroes; Heroism
2 - This is a great essay showing discovery, growth, maturation, and a little bit of adventure through an eye-opening experience....
Undergraduatediy09 - Jul 23, 2013 / PenAndLens - Jul 23, 2013
|My spiritual life strengthened because of this significant experience
UndergraduateEst2k - Jul 22, 2013 / Est2k - Jul 23, 2013
|The only thing I fear is fear itself- for the common application!! :)
Undergraduateallyferns2495 - Jul 10, 2013 / allyferns2495 - Jul 23, 2013
|Growing up I was always sampling different types of food; UMaryland spring transfer
8 - Most of this first paragraph deals more with past financial experiences than academic ones. Remove the...
UndergraduateLolojones94 - Jul 19, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 22, 2013
|"The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" ; Entrepreneurial Community Essay
2 - Ok... so, what do we have for proof that you spirit got awakened.... Nothing much is said about how...
Undergraduateoldsport - Jul 22, 2013 / dumi - Jul 22, 2013
|WashU University Scholars Program in Medicine
6 - Didgeridoo, Thank you very much for your feedback. Many of the comments you made I had gravely looked...
Undergraduatebballcenter - Jul 21, 2013 / bballcenter - Jul 21, 2013
|hardships you have faced? How have you dealt with them, and the outcomes.
Undergraduatezfanfore - Jul 21, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 21, 2013
|I was raised in the kingdom of Saudi Arabia; ACET ESSAY
8 - jkjeremy Thank you so much! I will try to improve my essay! I think I will eliminate unnecessary parts,...
Undergraduatemariespeaks - Jul 16, 2013 / mariespeaks - Jul 21, 2013
|There are still rights and wrongs and self-evident truths; CU boulder/ Diversity
Undergraduateck1992 - Jul 18, 2013 / ck1992 - Jul 20, 2013
|Depression...and a disorder. Personal Statement 1 / World I come from
Undergraduatevivimcdtra - Jul 15, 2013 / dumi - Jul 15, 2013
|"I have a clear path and goal set"; Transfer appeal- Are you convinced?
Undergraduatekawsneffect - Jul 6, 2013 / kawsneffect - Jul 15, 2013
|Community service at the Morant Bay Infirmary; Extracurricular activity
4 - It's good if you tell all these things through your own experiences. That way your claims would be...
Undergraduatesupreeth97 - Jul 9, 2013 / dumi - Jul 14, 2013
|Solitude was my only companion - The Hermit ; Personal Information - U Texas
UndergraduatePrecious Rex - Jul 12, 2013 / Precious Rex - Jul 13, 2013
|USC short answer. Share your input and opinions.
Undergraduaterogerthatfd - Jul 13, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 13, 2013
|As a young Haitian-American woman, I have faced many hardships ; MassART/ SOP
3 - I believe, the admissions committee would really like to see the good in all the negatives you've written. I'm...
UndergraduateFashionsoul - Jul 10, 2013 / Precious Rex - Jul 11, 2013
|The canadian embassy wants me to me to submit my future about canada. Any ideas?
17 - I am a private composition instructor. After more than 25 years in high school and college classrooms,...
UndergraduateHamoudi95 - Jul 9, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 10, 2013
|My Dad cheated us ; COMMON APP
5 - Wow thank you very much. Your response really gave me a lot of confidence in myself! :) I will...
Undergraduatectsohp1 - Jul 7, 2013 / ctsohp1 - Jul 9, 2013
|essay- family influence An college application essay
Undergraduatecaozeyuan - Jul 8, 2013 / dumi - Jul 9, 2013
|I have always been a competitive person; Stanford intellectual vitality essay!
6 - Hello, First just to set something straight. I am not here to compete with jkjeremy nor should he...
UndergraduateSnowhite76 - Jul 6, 2013 / admission2012 - Jul 8, 2013
|'Wishing to major in American Sign Language translation' - About Me essay
3 - The exact essay is describe yourself and life in 250- 500 words. And the audience is the admissions office...
UndergraduateAnnaKirsten - Jul 7, 2013 / AnnaKirsten - Jul 7, 2013
|Ronald Reagan once said "if you're explaining, you're losing" ; Why UCF?
Undergraduatehcarver - Jul 5, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 5, 2013
|Study Abroad/Gain Exposure of new culture; CU Boulder/ Diversity
Undergraduatedogsrule216 - Jun 17, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 5, 2013
|Realization and Revelation - Columbia University Supplement
UndergraduateDatkidonthehill - Jul 1, 2013 / hcarver - Jul 5, 2013
|Stanford Roommate Essay- "advice from an expert"
3 - Hello Maddy, This Stanford essay has been around for some time now. The purpose of this essay is...
Undergraduatemaddybelin - Jun 17, 2013 / admission2012 - Jul 4, 2013
|UC PROMPT: "Describe the world you come from." BEING AN IDENTICAL TWIN
Undergraduatemeganwood - Jul 2, 2013 / admission2012 - Jul 4, 2013
|The Power of Family - UC Prompt #1
Undergraduatemnguyen3r - Jul 1, 2013 / mnguyen3r - Jul 2, 2013
|Explore the world!; Who do you want to become in the next 10 years?
4 - (Read my whole answer because I'm not sure it'll be clear unless you do so.) Rather than asking...
Undergraduatelengocmy123 - Jul 1, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 1, 2013
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