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|I felt most at home; UNIQUE QUALITIES U MICHIGAN
6 - For the rest of my life until I retire is a little superfluous. Id say choose one or rephrase...
Undergraduatebkim2468 - Aug 3, 2013 / Chantal - Aug 18, 2013
|Silence!! Uchicago/ COMMON APP
6 - You may write following lines: God bless his soul, Still loved, still missed and very dear, may he...
UndergraduateAssAche - Dec 31, 2012 / Bivek3 - Aug 17, 2013
|I want to be able to serve those who are hurt - Why Doctor ?
2 - What is your prompt? It's good you include that in your response or the essay so that we know...
Undergraduategoodguy - Aug 17, 2013 / dumi - Aug 17, 2013
|The Choice an Athlete Makes to Become Professional Without a Degree
3 - .... impressive start :) ... the word "athlete" is getting repeated; Why would one choose not...
Undergraduatekentlondonjr - Aug 9, 2013 / dumi - Aug 16, 2013
|How to get an apathetic middle school student interested in Math? ; HMC FAST
Undergraduatebriant9 - Aug 3, 2013 / dumi - Aug 16, 2013
|Dream of 15-year-old girl; Common App
3 - Thank you for your revision! I really appreciate it!! Do you think the overall quality is okay? I...
Undergraduate1365violin - Aug 15, 2013 / 1365violin - Aug 16, 2013
|I exceeded the negatives and stepped back to the top; First taste of contentment
2 - An arena for teenagers to overcome there(their) fears and drama. Avoid informal English words like "Didn't", except in...
UndergraduateEiram_love - Aug 14, 2013 / shadman19922 - Aug 16, 2013
|Honors, fame, and glory. Who doesn't want it? - applying to Honor's College
UndergraduateaLuckyStudent - Aug 14, 2013 / e_nicole08 - Aug 15, 2013
|I am looking to perfect my skills; Why did you choose to attend Georgia Tech?
5 - i dont understand you...my essay has to be 150 words. im so confused right now...i do not know what...
Undergraduateviolet2000 - Aug 15, 2013 / violet2000 - Aug 15, 2013
|Occupational Therapy Personal Statement on Importance of Adapting. Need Suggestions.
3 - Thank you for replying! The prompt was "In 250 words or less summarize your experiences with persons for whom...
Undergraduatee_nicole08 - Aug 15, 2013 / e_nicole08 - Aug 15, 2013
|Crashing a model plane/ Feynman Lectures/ That House; M.I.T. Short Answer Essays
2 - Nice writing bro. I enjoyed reading it. My only suggestion is looking for words that can be eliminated...
Undergraduateflyinjoe - Aug 15, 2013 / sksbl88 - Aug 15, 2013
|Personal Statement for biomedicine: Stepped into a lab with my broken toe
6 - Research the program you're really interested in and general information about the field. Write about it more. It's also...
Undergraduateckrrtje - Aug 5, 2013 / sksbl88 - Aug 15, 2013
|my favorite subject is Mathematics; Personal statement (Acounting course)
4 - Choose the major you are most interested in and think sounds like a stable career and fun to you....
Undergraduateo0o_nnq_o0o - Aug 6, 2013 / sksbl88 - Aug 15, 2013
|Obeying to the demands of Mrs. Sanderson; Significant Experience/ UC
3 - I think you're on a mission to find faults in everyone here so they think you're brilliant and pay...
Undergraduateartstudent - Aug 7, 2013 / sksbl88 - Aug 15, 2013
|"Tuftsadmissions retweeted your tweet..."; **WHY TUFTS?**
9 - Creativity works well for performing arts students as well as enthusiasm. Maybe not end the answer with a question...
UndergraduateAnumeha - Jul 15, 2013 / sksbl88 - Aug 15, 2013
| I'am from a very small and poor town in Peru; Registered Nursing Program
Undergraduategiulliana90 - Aug 2, 2013 / dumi - Aug 15, 2013
|'Skipping high grades' - improving my college application essay
4 - Try making it less of a narrative, start with focusing in more detail on specific events, less about your...
UndergraduateJackPackage - Aug 11, 2013 / NK21 - Aug 14, 2013
|I went through some small personal difficulties; Personal essay - UT
7 - Everyone has different way of learning. Some students are strong academically and others perform better with hands. Every person...
Undergraduatenshah69 - Aug 11, 2013 / nshah69 - Aug 14, 2013
|I was born and raised in a small town called Sardinia; Cultural Autobiography
2 - This is really great writing. But, the only thing i can tell, that it is too long. All expressions...
Undergraduateleo p - Aug 10, 2013 / faheddarmoch - Aug 14, 2013
|My past is what made me who I am; UW personal Statement
7 - You could have conveyed every single idea here in fewer than 800 words. That's what I mean (at least...
UndergraduateNK21 - Aug 14, 2013 / jkjeremy - Aug 14, 2013
|Math has always been my strength ; UA&P
14 - Hi Duminda Could you please check my essay as well.Again I have started preparing for IELTS. Thanks....
Undergraduatehanyoojung - Jul 26, 2013 / Arun0506 - Aug 14, 2013
|Lifelong reward career; Nurse Practitioner program
5 - Much better. If you read your essay then you'll find a lot of grammatical errors, redundancies and sentences that...
Undergraduatelatinarn - Aug 8, 2013 / sngbm87 - Aug 13, 2013
|Learn about new cultures and serve people; Peace Corps
2 - Hello, I'll give some of the best advice I ever offer about writng: Throw fewer punches that don't land....
Undergraduateexcell59 - Aug 12, 2013 / EF_Kevin - Aug 13, 2013
|My Mom Isn't a Superhero - transition from childhood to adulthood
27 - Hi Mare. I hope you are reading this. I literally JUST read and responded to your email from...
Undergraduatemarecrowley - Jul 16, 2013 / jkjeremy - Aug 12, 2013
|member of the Philippine Society of Youth Science Camp-EXPERIENCES DEFINED YOU AS A PERSON
2 - Rewrite it. The 1st sentence is redundant from your application. Dont repeat information already listed. The ending is confusing...
Undergraduatedweii - Aug 12, 2013 / sksbl88 - Aug 12, 2013
|The Rose's Shadow: (My Common app personal staement)
3 - This is very good and written very cleverly. Very original as well. Although I see one major problem and...
Undergraduatepwillis52x - Aug 11, 2013 / sksbl88 - Aug 12, 2013
|First, and only, child of my devoted parents; World you come from- UC/ PS
2 - Good start and good topic. It's relevant to your major. ...but... There are too many long sentences. Doesn't...
Undergraduatealj647 - Aug 10, 2013 / sksbl88 - Aug 11, 2013
|ANIMATOR; Statement of purpose for Scad (Animation interest)
4 - ...Why did you want to be an Animator? What inspired you to develop such passion? You need to...
UndergraduateLil twist - Jul 21, 2013 / dumi - Aug 11, 2013
|I know that I LOVE science; Cornell Engineering Supp
UndergraduaterElax17 - Jul 24, 2013 / dumi - Aug 10, 2013
|I believe that I am a good student; PERSONAL STATEMENT - WARWICK HEFP
6 - I believe that I am a very organized student. I never have a difficulty in meeting deadlines of...
Undergraduatepwnerboomz - Jul 24, 2013 / dumi - Aug 10, 2013
|KEEP YOUR HEAD UP! - Motivation to be a Physician Assistant (Application Essay)
2 - Receiving my Urban EMT certificate and training in wilderness medicine from the National Outdoor Leadership School of Lander, Wyoming...
Undergraduatekimschauer - Aug 7, 2013 / mary1226 - Aug 10, 2013
|Love for the outdoors; Rutgers U - Trekking to Malaysia
4 - Getting into a college does not only mean being just educated and finishing it with a degree, to me...
Undergraduateallyferns2495 - Jul 22, 2013 / dumi - Aug 10, 2013
|I want to go to the college to become a musical theater actress
Undergraduatecoffee_princess - Aug 6, 2013 / dumi - Aug 10, 2013
|NO TWO PEOPLE ARE THE SAME; FAMU Essay Prompt.
5 - First, your word limit is small, so take out the first three sentences; you don't have room for unnecessary...
UndergraduateDaTru3Life - Aug 7, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Aug 9, 2013
|my teachers never really cared about me; UCF College App
4 - This is a good starting response, but you need to narrow your focus to one obstacle or "bump in...
Undergraduatenathan1818 - Aug 9, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Aug 9, 2013
|My fascination with human biology ; INTERNSHIP ESSAY
3 - I have been interested in medicine and patientspatient care ever since I was very young. My fascination with human...
UndergraduateAvatar - Aug 5, 2013 / bienie - Aug 8, 2013
|the man who is the monster of nature ; Butterfly Cirsus
UndergraduateKacingoc2904 - Aug 7, 2013 / Kacingoc2904 - Aug 7, 2013
|Service Academy Nomination Essay - "Why do you Want to Attend a Service Academy?"
4 - Well, you could mention some personal experiences and how your past skills fit into your future goals of attending...
UndergraduateRdelahunr - Aug 2, 2013 / Trisha - Aug 6, 2013
|'My Double Helix' / 'interest in the life science' - Columbia Supplement 2013
NEW - - Tell us what you found meaningful about one of the above mentioned books, publications or cultural events. The...
Undergraduatepianowoman27 - Aug 4, 2013 / — -
|My life in Haiti ; Challenge I have faced and how it has shaped my thinking
Undergraduatezfanfore - Jul 21, 2013 / dumi - Aug 3, 2013
|VEGANISM; Cornell college; IDEA / CENTRAL STORY TO MY IDENTITY
Undergraduateandreaf96 - Aug 2, 2013 / dumi - Aug 3, 2013
|Son, daughter, grandchild, I have none; - Blueprint for the future
6 - I absolutely love this, why was it written, just for fun, have captured a picture of you I think...
Undergraduatetrilam153 - Jul 29, 2013 / Sacredhoop56 - Jul 31, 2013
|Yes, I'm a maverick; Personal Statement
Undergraduatenerdykid1 - Jul 25, 2013 / nerdykid1 - Jul 30, 2013
|'A varsity player in chess' - Significant experiences/accomplishment
5 - Yes, this essay is for Ateneo. Thank you very much for the corrections! I appreciate them a lot. :)...
Undergraduateadella - Jul 28, 2013 / adella - Jul 29, 2013
|Why I'm a top cadidate for Einstein MC Philadelphia program - Radiologic Technology
UndergraduateChinolatino215 - Jul 28, 2013 / Chinolatino215 - Jul 28, 2013
|I am scared; There is a tornado outside Toronto airport!
3 - Can you identify where? because i wrote it and probably egocentrism took place. It's hard for me to...
Undergraduatetrilam153 - Jul 27, 2013 / trilam153 - Jul 27, 2013
|'I don't give up' University of Texas at Austin Transfer Essay- SOP Topic A
4 - .... I feel it's better you started your response with this line. It explains how your passion began. Your...
Undergraduatericketts800 - Jul 26, 2013 / dumi - Jul 26, 2013
|"The tunnel that changed me" - Common app/ Place that I am perfectly contented!
3 - Thank you so much for your comment!! I'll definitely fix the grammatical errors you pointed out for me!...
Undergraduate13etoiles - Jul 23, 2013 / 13etoiles - Jul 26, 2013
|"Customers are always right" OR"Teachers are always right"; Ateneo Application Essay
Undergraduatehanyoojung - Jul 11, 2013 / hanyoojung - Jul 26, 2013
|Application essay-changing major from Architecture to Computer Science
2 - This is a great essay in my opinion. I do not know much about computer science, but it really...
Undergraduatesaraad - Jul 22, 2013 / StellMer - Jul 23, 2013
|"Which one is the smarter twin?"- Common App; background or story
9 - I'm a writing instructor. Thanks for the compliment. You're a bright "kid." Although they aren't necessarily...
Undergraduatemarecrowley - Jun 12, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 23, 2013
|My eyes were set on UT for quite some time; UT Austin Transfer/SOP
Undergraduatenazopo - Jul 16, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 23, 2013
|In the eyes of the people we helped, we are truly heroes; Heroism
2 - This is a great essay showing discovery, growth, maturation, and a little bit of adventure through an eye-opening experience....
Undergraduatediy09 - Jul 23, 2013 / PenAndLens - Jul 23, 2013
|My spiritual life strengthened because of this significant experience
UndergraduateEst2k - Jul 22, 2013 / Est2k - Jul 23, 2013
|The only thing I fear is fear itself- for the common application!! :)
Undergraduateallyferns2495 - Jul 10, 2013 / allyferns2495 - Jul 23, 2013
|Growing up I was always sampling different types of food; UMaryland spring transfer
8 - Most of this first paragraph deals more with past financial experiences than academic ones. Remove the...
UndergraduateLolojones94 - Jul 19, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 22, 2013
|"The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" ; Entrepreneurial Community Essay
2 - Ok... so, what do we have for proof that you spirit got awakened.... Nothing much is said about how...
Undergraduateoldsport - Jul 22, 2013 / dumi - Jul 22, 2013
|WashU University Scholars Program in Medicine
6 - Didgeridoo, Thank you very much for your feedback. Many of the comments you made I had gravely looked...
Undergraduatebballcenter - Jul 21, 2013 / bballcenter - Jul 21, 2013
|hardships you have faced? How have you dealt with them, and the outcomes.
Undergraduatezfanfore - Jul 21, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 21, 2013
|I was raised in the kingdom of Saudi Arabia; ACET ESSAY
8 - jkjeremy Thank you so much! I will try to improve my essay! I think I will eliminate unnecessary parts,...
Undergraduatemariespeaks - Jul 16, 2013 / mariespeaks - Jul 21, 2013
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