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|In the eyes of the people we helped, we are truly heroes; Heroism
2 - This is a great essay showing discovery, growth, maturation, and a little bit of adventure through an eye-opening experience....
Undergraduatediy09 - Jul 23, 2013 / PenAndLens - Jul 23, 2013
|My spiritual life strengthened because of this significant experience
UndergraduateEst2k - Jul 22, 2013 / Est2k - Jul 23, 2013
|The only thing I fear is fear itself- for the common application!! :)
Undergraduateallyferns2495 - Jul 10, 2013 / allyferns2495 - Jul 23, 2013
|Growing up I was always sampling different types of food; UMaryland spring transfer
8 - Most of this first paragraph deals more with past financial experiences than academic ones. Remove the...
UndergraduateLolojones94 - Jul 19, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 22, 2013
|"The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" ; Entrepreneurial Community Essay
2 - Ok... so, what do we have for proof that you spirit got awakened.... Nothing much is said about how...
Undergraduateoldsport - Jul 22, 2013 / dumi - Jul 22, 2013
|WashU University Scholars Program in Medicine
6 - Didgeridoo, Thank you very much for your feedback. Many of the comments you made I had gravely looked...
Undergraduatebballcenter - Jul 21, 2013 / bballcenter - Jul 21, 2013
|hardships you have faced? How have you dealt with them, and the outcomes.
Undergraduatezfanfore - Jul 21, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 21, 2013
|I was raised in the kingdom of Saudi Arabia; ACET ESSAY
8 - jkjeremy Thank you so much! I will try to improve my essay! I think I will eliminate unnecessary parts,...
Undergraduatemariespeaks - Jul 16, 2013 / mariespeaks - Jul 21, 2013
|There are still rights and wrongs and self-evident truths; CU boulder/ Diversity
Undergraduateck1992 - Jul 18, 2013 / ck1992 - Jul 20, 2013
|Depression...and a disorder. Personal Statement 1 / World I come from
Undergraduatevivimcdtra - Jul 15, 2013 / dumi - Jul 15, 2013
|"I have a clear path and goal set"; Transfer appeal- Are you convinced?
Undergraduatekawsneffect - Jul 6, 2013 / kawsneffect - Jul 15, 2013
|Community service at the Morant Bay Infirmary; Extracurricular activity
4 - It's good if you tell all these things through your own experiences. That way your claims would be...
Undergraduatesupreeth97 - Jul 9, 2013 / dumi - Jul 14, 2013
|Solitude was my only companion - The Hermit ; Personal Information - U Texas
UndergraduatePrecious Rex - Jul 12, 2013 / Precious Rex - Jul 13, 2013
|USC short answer. Share your input and opinions.
Undergraduaterogerthatfd - Jul 13, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 13, 2013
|As a young Haitian-American woman, I have faced many hardships ; MassART/ SOP
3 - I believe, the admissions committee would really like to see the good in all the negatives you've written. I'm...
UndergraduateFashionsoul - Jul 10, 2013 / Precious Rex - Jul 11, 2013
|The canadian embassy wants me to me to submit my future about canada. Any ideas?
17 - I am a private composition instructor. After more than 25 years in high school and college classrooms,...
UndergraduateHamoudi95 - Jul 9, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 10, 2013
|My Dad cheated us ; COMMON APP
5 - Wow thank you very much. Your response really gave me a lot of confidence in myself! :) I will...
Undergraduatectsohp1 - Jul 7, 2013 / ctsohp1 - Jul 9, 2013
|essay- family influence An college application essay
Undergraduatecaozeyuan - Jul 8, 2013 / dumi - Jul 9, 2013
|I have always been a competitive person; Stanford intellectual vitality essay!
6 - Hello, First just to set something straight. I am not here to compete with jkjeremy nor should he...
UndergraduateSnowhite76 - Jul 6, 2013 / admission2012 - Jul 8, 2013
|'Wishing to major in American Sign Language translation' - About Me essay
3 - The exact essay is describe yourself and life in 250- 500 words. And the audience is the admissions office...
UndergraduateAnnaKirsten - Jul 7, 2013 / AnnaKirsten - Jul 7, 2013
|Ronald Reagan once said "if you're explaining, you're losing" ; Why UCF?
Undergraduatehcarver - Jul 5, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 5, 2013
|Study Abroad/Gain Exposure of new culture; CU Boulder/ Diversity
Undergraduatedogsrule216 - Jun 17, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 5, 2013
|Realization and Revelation - Columbia University Supplement
UndergraduateDatkidonthehill - Jul 1, 2013 / hcarver - Jul 5, 2013
|Stanford Roommate Essay- "advice from an expert"
3 - Hello Maddy, This Stanford essay has been around for some time now. The purpose of this essay is...
Undergraduatemaddybelin - Jun 17, 2013 / admission2012 - Jul 4, 2013
|UC PROMPT: "Describe the world you come from." BEING AN IDENTICAL TWIN
Undergraduatemeganwood - Jul 2, 2013 / admission2012 - Jul 4, 2013
|The Power of Family - UC Prompt #1
Undergraduatemnguyen3r - Jul 1, 2013 / mnguyen3r - Jul 2, 2013
|Explore the world!; Who do you want to become in the next 10 years?
4 - (Read my whole answer because I'm not sure it'll be clear unless you do so.) Rather than asking...
Undergraduatelengocmy123 - Jul 1, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jul 1, 2013
|What is between two places, or a bar on two poles, a dance between spaces, or..
6 - Close, but not exactly. If that's exactly what they meant, that's exactly what they would have asked. Look...
Undergraduatejescoba3 - Jun 19, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jun 30, 2013
|MY FOUR-YEAR ADVENTURE; Significant Experience
4 - 1. Remove the slang: ---hung out --- school is like one hundred steps away ---powerful thing for a kid,...
UndergraduateSamanthaN2610 - Jun 30, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jun 30, 2013
|Essay B # 3- CU Boulder - 'Pay check to pay check is how I have lived'
5 - The prompt asks you to: A. Discuss any events or special circumstances that have affected your academic record B....
Undergraduatekyh8252 - Jun 28, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Jun 30, 2013
|NYU Tisch School Of The Arts The film anf TV Supplement essays
UndergraduateGlebpiryatinski - Jun 30, 2013 / kyh8252 - Jun 30, 2013
|I've dreamed of working in the medical field and caring for people
5 - If you're still out there and looking for revisions, just wanted to incorporate IntheClouds's suggestions: Ever since the...
Undergraduatecutierlb - Jun 9, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Jun 28, 2013
|UT Austin Tranfer Admisson, Older tranfer student with pervious career experience
Undergraduatelrpaz - Jun 16, 2013 / lrpaz - Jun 27, 2013
|Luck, Wisdom, and Purpose STANFORD ESSAY: INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT
Undergraduatenikkibae - Jun 27, 2013 / nikkibae - Jun 27, 2013
|Honestly Hypnotized. Stanford Essay: Intellectual Development.
4 - I see what you mean. Thank you for your honesty. It actually is a true story, minus the hypnosis...
Undergraduatenikkibae - Jun 27, 2013 / nikkibae - Jun 27, 2013
|I am the first child in the family of five - Experiences/persons made me choose my career
4 - .... Better you break up this sentence to improve clarity; I am a very logical person and believe...
Undergraduatesmartgera2009 - Jun 9, 2013 / dumi - Jun 27, 2013
|"As long as you keep trying, you'll get it" - "Numbers and Me"/ COMMON TRANSFER APP
4 - You don't really convey why you want to transfer. What do you like about this new college? What better...
Undergraduateequilibratum - Jun 22, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Jun 26, 2013
|Disagreement with the opinion of a fellow participant /CAE - Letter to a newspaper
4 - .... this latter part is very confusing.... the words "whole" and "doubtlessly" make your sentence too crowded...
UndergraduateNicoleElocin - Jun 9, 2013 / dumi - Jun 26, 2013
|Gryffindor Brave/ Most important characteristic of a person for him to be successful
UndergraduateHelen Song - Jun 20, 2013 / dumi - Jun 24, 2013
|Strength. Dedication. Discipline. Honor. Pride - (nomination prompt)
4 - This is a GREAT comment/question. Jon8502, you need to address this (preferably in the intro or conclusion)....
UndergraduateJon8502 - Jun 23, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jun 24, 2013
|English class; MY SECOND LIFE/ Significant Experience
UndergraduateShpresa - Jun 12, 2013 / Shpresa - Jun 24, 2013
|How Art Ins of California-Orange County helps me attain my career goals; COMMON APP
4 - MUCH better. It's Saturday here and I have some family stuff to do. However, I will revisit this...
UndergraduateDaisy95 - Jun 22, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jun 22, 2013
|My childhood hobby was to make toys with scrap materials; SOP-Autonomous Systems
4 - Hi JKJeremy, I am writing this essay as letter of motivation for my masters application in the field of...
Undergraduateharamoz - Jun 22, 2013 / haramoz - Jun 22, 2013
|I found my ultimate goals ; UW CSE - broad perspective to the engineering classroom
4 - You're most welcome. However, I need to see the word "simplicity" in the first sentence of a body...
Undergraduatekarangoeluw - Jun 21, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jun 21, 2013
|Evidence seems to suggest that a lot of value is attached to learning languages nowadays.
3 - ....nice qoute :) ....It should be "English" and not "english". You repeatedly do that mistake througout...
UndergraduateBas1 - Jun 3, 2013 / dumi - Jun 21, 2013
|At 15 I created and manage a website;TRANSFER;Community College to Radford University
2 - This is a good essay. I feel that I've learned something about you, which is more or less the...
Undergraduatepoqbum - Jun 19, 2013 / ershad193 - Jun 19, 2013
|I am a summer intern / Maser thesis cover latter
NEW - Respected Sir, I am Dhaval Harkhani, final year student of 5 year integrated program in SVNIT Surat India....
UndergraduateDhaval - Jun 19, 2013 / — -
|I say with conviction that my neighborhood has helped me grow;COMMUNITY/App
4 - I owe someone an apology. I didn't realize that this and the IELTS paper were by different writers. ...
Undergraduatenothingto - Jun 17, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jun 18, 2013
|Freedom is not free; Why do you want to attend a service academy (nomination prompt)
4 - I read the first draft and now this one. It's better, more personal than the first one, but still...
Undergraduatesogeily - Jun 11, 2013 / annieyeah - Jun 17, 2013
|I'd like to be a part of NUS; Appeal Essay for University
4 - By being in this organization, I began to think deeply about life and help others, especially the ones...
Undergraduatechlorinek - May 31, 2013 / dumi - Jun 14, 2013
|Airport- Childhood to Adulthood / Accomplishment or Event
Undergraduatemarecrowley - Jun 12, 2013 / annieyeah - Jun 13, 2013
|Minor in music from NYU/ Electrical and computer engineering ; Why NYU Poly?/Major?
5 - My latest revisions... Why do you want to attend NYU-Poly? Working alongside engineering and science students from...
Undergraduatepsrams42 - Jun 10, 2013 / psrams42 - Jun 13, 2013
|"Days to germination: 7-10."; Essay about failure/ growing tomatoes
Undergraduateannieyeah - Jun 12, 2013 / annieyeah - Jun 13, 2013
|Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels; Peace Corps.
3 - For me, love is a too short and simple answer and understanding what love really does mean is...
UndergraduateMarz13 - May 27, 2013 / dumi - Jun 13, 2013
|"That Flag Day"-Wisconsin Madison PS/ Enrich community
Undergraduatesuissezhao - Jun 10, 2013 / suissezhao - Jun 12, 2013
|"Describe a bump in the road....";UCF Undergraduate essay
Undergraduatesierrarr - May 23, 2013 / dumi - Jun 12, 2013
|Public speaking; My academic goal-Wisconsin-Madison PS
3 - Let's start with Grammar first. The essay has a number of grammatical errors, which can be a big turn...
Undergraduatesuissezhao - Jun 11, 2013 / shadman19922 - Jun 11, 2013
|Music has had a great effect on my world;CSU/ Book, song,movie that changed your life
3 - My advice is you shouldn't think of the grammar at an early stage. Try to write the whole essay...
Undergraduatedavidmax - May 13, 2013 / Lady Elle - Jun 10, 2013
|May is the fifth month of the year; Why number five is important?
6 - I like sapphire9xvn's suggestions. In the east, the five classical elements which include metal, wood, water, fire, earth are...
Undergraduatefsolano94 - May 19, 2013 / lespeed - Jun 3, 2013
|To obtain my associates degree in Liberal Arts, military background - admission
6 - I intend to attend The Art Institute of Tennessee-Nashville and obtain an Associate's Degree in Culinary Arts.After I earn...
UndergraduateLineMedic - Sep 8, 2011 / Didgeridoo - May 31, 2013
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