I have the ability to help others; UNNOTICED

Hello!
I'm applying for the university of Wisconsin Madison and i was given a statement about ''something in your life you think goes unnoticed and write about why it's important to you.''

Any help on my essay will be appreciate it, thanks!
Daniel.
Here's my essay:

I , as a High school Student everyone thinks i'm a professional using advanced computer software's , but i ask myself '' is this the field i want ? '' is this the career i want to pursue? to be a computer teacher?'' What people don't really notice on me is the ability to speak to others. I have the ability to help other's people problem's to express them selves. Why is this important to me? Here's why, when i was just 10 years old, i always noticed my friends crying... even family members, but i never knew why and how i could help them.. it was just depressing seeing my own mother cry, that was too much for me and had the guts to ask a friend ''carlos'' why he was crying. He responded me by saying '' My dad passed away last night because of cancer'' as he sobbed and kept telling his story, my brain started to work and somehow i said '' If your dad was here right now, he would hug you tightly and say '' Don't worry about me, your job is to graduate from high school and get a better job to take care of your mother.'' Carlos cried of happiness and thanked me for motivate him. This was the moment i knew that i should be a motivator, Let them know that i'm here for them. This is something that goes unnoticed on me but it is really important to me.

By any chance, are you applying for a computer degree? If so, this statement might be unfavorable for you as it gives the impression that you are not particularly attached to this field.


This is how I suggest;
In the eyes of many people, I am a computer professional who spends most of the time with machines. However, what they do not know about me is that I have a great desire and ability for helping others to express themselves.