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'Being abroad on my own' -The life changing experience - Common App Short


cia3194 1 / 3  
Nov 26, 2012   #1
Hello. :)
This is my first post on the forum and my first shot at the college application essays. Here is my answer to the short answer question on the Common App:

"Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum)."

"It was all new to me: being far away from home, going abroad and having to speak and understand a foreign language for weeks in a row, getting used to calling another place "home" and other people "family". Most importantly, it was the first time I had ever thought about the concept of "a different life": it was my first taking part in the partnership between my school and Hockerill Anglo-European College. The fact that I was able to have contact with a distinct culture at a young age opened my eyes about what actually made us so different but at the same time so alike. By hosting five different English students over the years, I have found out what other people thought about us and I was able to learn from their ideas. Being actively involved in voluntary work has broadened my teamworking skills. Last but not least, the opportunity to see new places has awoken the two strongest passions of my life: traveling and photography. It truly was the life changing experience of my existence."

Any ideas would be of great help!
trennty_09 2 / 6  
Nov 26, 2012   #2
i like your essay, but you have to make it stand out, you are allowed to have a 1000 words so take advantage of that and engage the reader "The fact that I was able to have contact with a distinct culture at a young age opened my eyes about what actually made us so different but at the same time so alike," how are they alike? how are you different? did you miss your family? best of lucks :)
OP cia3194 1 / 3  
Nov 26, 2012   #3
Thank you for your answer. Sadly, it is not a 1000 word limit but rather a 1000 character limit, out of which I've used 999.
mhanna 3 / 7 1  
Nov 26, 2012   #4
I like your short answer and I think it has great content, but you only really mentioned your passions of photography & travelling, but not how you became to be passionate about your own study abroad experience. Maybe include a little bit more "self"!

Also, please check out my Common App short answer. I'd love your critique!
OP cia3194 1 / 3  
Nov 27, 2012   #5
any other suggestions?
OP cia3194 1 / 3  
Nov 30, 2012   #6
Here is the slightly edited response:

It was all new to me: being far away from home, going abroad and having to speak and understand a foreign language for weeks in a row and getting used to calling another place "home" and other people "family". Most importantly, it was the first time I had ever thought about the concept of "a different life" by actually living it: it was my first taking part in the partnership between my school and Hockerill College. Having contact with a distinct culture at a young age opened my eyes about what actually made us so different but at the same time so alike. By hosting five different English students over the years, I have found out what other people thought about us and I was able to learn from their ideas. Being actively involved in voluntary work has broadened my teamwork skills. Last but not least, the opportunity to see new places has awoken the two strongest passions of my life: traveling and photography. Several years later, I am eagerly waiting to be an international student again.


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