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U of I (Academic goals relate to professional goals)


09johnsont 3 / 5  
Dec 30, 2008   #1
Essay 1: In an essay of 300 words or less, write about how your personal or academic interests relate to your intellectual or professional goals.

A problem solver since infancy, economics became a natural area of interest for me. This passion of mine led me to enroll in the Elements of Entrepreneurship Course through the University of Chicago's Collegiate Scholar's Program the summer after my sophomore year. After being taught the basic principles of economics and business we were placed into groups and asked to create a business model. We would later present our business in a competition to several members of Goldman Sachs and place third.

The course triggered my desire to understand how the world around me functioned. It provoked my interest in economics and I realized it was a passion I possessed for many years. However, it was not until I took this course that I was able to classify this interest into a profession.

I continued learning how the world around me worked by focusing on why we make specific decisions. I studied this by taking Advanced Placement Microeconomics. At the conclusion of the course, we were placed into groups and asked to create a product and use economic principles to convince a group of judges that our product would become a niche in the market. We ranked in the top three groups out of 45.

I continued researching how the market responds to new products by taking Innovation Incubator both my junior and senior year. It was also during this time that I enrolled into the Illinois Virtual High School to continue my study of economics by taking Advanced Placement Macroeconomics because it was not offered at my school. The course allowed me to examine our economy on a national level. I now hope to continue my study of economics at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champagne at the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Dec 30, 2008   #2
Some quick thoughts:

"A problem solver since infancy, economics became a natural area of interest for me" I don't know that economics can be properly described as a "problem solver" or has having had an "infancy." I suppose you could be speaking metaphorically, but I rather suspect you are merely misplacing your modifiers with reckless abandon.

"This passion of mine led me to enroll . . ." "It provoked my interest in economics . . ." Well, which is it -- did your passion for economics lead you to enroll, or did enrolling in the program spark your passion for economics?

"I was able to classify this interest into a profession" No. "I was able to see how my interest could lead to a profession" or something like that.

"why we make specific decisions." Perhaps you should elaborate on this. You could even give specific examples of the sorts of decisions you have in mind.
OP 09johnsont 3 / 5  
Dec 30, 2008   #3
Thank you for your harsh criticism.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Dec 30, 2008   #4
You're quite welcome. Sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind. Keep working on your essay, and I'm sure that you'll end up with a superb final draft.


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