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Academic History: University of Washington essay revision


thestatus02 1 / -  
Jan 31, 2010   #1
As the fork in the road steadily approached at an increasing rate, the need to make a decision was evident. Should I turn right, turn left, or escape from all inhibition and fly away? Slowly, my wings hauled me away from my shaky emotional state towards a more definitive condition.

My high school career was congruent with an image of walking barefoot over broken glass. I went through all the stereotypical phases and rebelled against authority for no apparent reason. Failing the majority of my classes, I just gave up the idea of ever being successful. Drugs and alcohol took control of my life and I stood trapped beneath a blanket of dismay, and disgust. By the time I hit the 12th grade, I was technically a freshman in terms of credits. As I settled into my senior year, I realized this lifestyle would take me nowhere and I would amount to nothing if I did not straighten up. I began to take online courses to make up for lost classes while still managing to stay on top of my regular courses. Thankfully, as I transitioned into the college life, I was able to vacate myself from my high school state of mind and focus more on my education. My high school experience had a tremendous positive impact on my education; I had already hit rock bottom, and it was not somewhere I wanted to be. It allowed to me see how it felt to be at the bottom of the barrel. It provided me with insight and even more essential: the will to go on. Having experienced it first-hand, I understand that I must succeed in my college career or my worst nightmare of being unsuccessful will come true.

Adjusting to the college curriculum was not an easy task. The idea of studying was something I had learned a mere six months prior and I was bombarded with coursework and voluminous material. My first quarter was a success; I walked away from it with a 3.88 GPA. However, my second quarter proved to be more challenging since I was taking two science courses; my GPA dropped to a 3.23 for the quarter. I concluded that I would have to work harder than I ever have to keep up in my math and chemistry courses. I was falling behind incessantly. The fact that I was dreadful at science did not help me much, either.

Spring quarter came around, and I felt convinced in my abilities to succeed. I had uncovered the secrets to studying for science courses, and I planned to put them into full effect as soon as possible. I received all A's for that quarter, except for math in which I received a 3.0. Although it is not an A, I am extremely proud of myself considering the teacher is known to be difficult and math is challenging for me. My performance since then has been gradually increasing as I have taken all science courses and gone to a 3.7 and 3.8 GPA in summer and fall quarter, respectively.

Unfortunately, there is only so much that can be done at a community college. While they do provide a great education, Highline lacks the resources I require to take that next step in my quest. The goal of a two-year college is to prepare you for a university and I believe Highline has done a fantastic job. I would like to transfer to UW so that I can be exposed to a wider curriculum, more resources, and a more prominent staff and faculty.

Due to my progression, I have concluded that anything is possible should I decide to put my mind to it. Medicine always struck an interest for me but in high school, pessimistic teachers and influential peers shot down my dreams. I know now that what they said was false, and only I have the ability to determine the outcome of my life.

I plan to obtain my Bachelors degree in Molecular Biology if I am accepted to the University of Washington. I chose this major because I biology has been the only class that I have taken an official interest in. From there, I will apply to the UW Medical School in hopes of someday becoming an orthopedic surgeon. The UW will provide me with the tools, resources, and skills to get to where I want to be. It has birthed many influential people, and I hope that the university will provide me with a path to follow so that I can someday change the world, as so many before me have.
niloo - / 13  
Feb 1, 2010   #2
do you think it is a good idea if you write like this :
pessimistic teachers and influential peers shot down my dreams......well, tell more about your activities, your goals, your background... be possitive and strong
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Feb 2, 2010   #3
...a blanket of dismay and disgust. ---- no comma necessary here.

You are a good writer; how did you fail your classes?!

Due to my progress away from mediocrity, I have concluded...

watch out for this typo:

I chose this major because I biology has been

You'll do great, for sure...


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