The prompt to this essay is very long and involved. I will paste the most important parts of it here:
Your statement should also describe how and why a study abroad year/semester in Edinburgh will assist you in achieving your academic and professional goals.
I have taken this to mean I should outline my paper based on these reasons for applying to the UofE: Why you want to study at the University of Edinburgh, why you chose the departments/courses you did, study and research interests you'll pursue, how all of this will help your academic and professional goals, and how you've prepared to be academically suited to the UofE)
This is what I have gotten so far. It is a mix of an outline and a very very rough draft. I typed as the thoughts came to me. Mainly right now I am trying to piece together ideas and see if they're actually valid points. Also this is 679 words and my goal is 500, so I am going to be hacking this whole thing apart even more than it already is, so please feel free to hack away.
My concerns already:
- it is not easy to break it down into more paragraphs. I can have paragraph 1 for why I applied to UofE specifically. Maybe paragraph 2 just about choosing the Computer Science department/my compsci goals/research interests/how i've prepared to be academically suited. And then paragraph 3 a bigger one doing the same thing for my 5 smaller fields, ENST, Math, Psych, French, and Law.
- Another concern is that I am going into too much detail in non-important courses. Yes I have already submitted my course forms but I don't know which courses I'll be taking. I won't actually be in 6 different departments, but I know they will want a reason for the spread of course choices. I just don't want to waste space talking about those other departments, so if you know of a way to narrow down that section and have it be more concise?
It's 729 words:
I went through a long and meticulous process to find The University of Edinburgh. I conducted an in depth search to find an abroad university with a large international community with global impact where I had the ability/access to study all that I wanted academically. The University of Edinburgh exceeds all of these expectations. At the University of Edinburgh, I can study my main academic focus of Computer Science, in a way that I cannot at home, that is with a large community that is international and offers varied perspectives. Additionally, I can embrace my academic curiosity and study my other varied interests. I have a hard time being tied down without wanting to be inquisitive and explore more pursuits, and The University of Edinburgh will allow me to explore varied interests in a way that still encourages academic rigor. While I could go through and show that everything on my meticulous, detailed checklist was checked off, I feel I can better demonstrate that the University of Edinburgh is perfect for my academic needs by discussing my academic interests.
The Computer Science department is one of the main things that drew me into the University of Edinburgh. I have every intention of using my study abroad experience to keep me on track for my academic and professional goals alongside my Computer Science degree, so I have discussed with multiple professors at Colgate as to which courses in the Informatics field would be most beneficial to this goal. I have only experienced the field while at my current University; I never got a chance to take it in high school and can be seen to have a relatively late start in the game. So, studying abroad will help me achieve my academic goal of getting an entirely new perspective on the field. Once you declare your major at my small home university, you are working with a small, select group of students that is largely unchanging. The University of Edinburgh will help me achieve my academic and professional goal of learning to work with a wide variety of people in the field. This large university will provide a different type of learning environment that will benefit my learning and my future in the profession.
I also intend to declare Environmental Studies as my minor, so I hope that by studying in the Environmental Studies department at the University of Edinburgh, I will vary my knowledge of environment. I must acknowledge that, while my education attempts to be ___universal___, I cannot truly claim unbiasedness in my United States education. The whole world is dealing with environmental issues, so studying at Edinburgh will help me achieve my academic goal of opening my eyes to further world environmental issues.
In addition to taking courses in the department of my major and minor, I have also chosen to explore the Mathematics, French, and Psychology department. Mathematics and Computer Science are very interrelated, and Math has always been a great interest of mine for my whole life. I hope that by continuing to explore Math alongside Computer Science that I will benefit academically. I briefly explored French and Psychology in high school and through online courses, so I have a great interest in taking these at a large scale, real life university. I have also taken to teaching myself what may appear to be the most out of place department of my choices, Law. I have always had an interest because of what people say about my attention for detail and my capacity for memorization, so I have followed video lecture series on the subject for some time now. While I know I cannot possibly take them all, I am eager to take what I can in these departments at such a rigorous university, where I can interact with professors and students. I got my start in Computer Science through self-teaching, and have grown to love it through university courses. I felt that this was good preparation for university-level rigor, so that's what I've done to prepare for UofE's rigor. Additionally, my university is very rigorous. I have become involved in lots of CompSci clubs to prepare for real life, professional rigor and competition. Finally, I am a go-getter who isn't afraid of risks. I have a real passion for academics and I am so excited to take this opportunity to expand on my knowledge.
Don't worry about that one essay cannot show all your perspectives. We have supplements. You can further narrow down what you wanna show in this essay and then put focus on this one. If you have space to add other things , then do it until the maximum of words. But do not forget explore them well in your essay. by doing this, I think you can shorten your essay