I already submited the essay to the university and i had my God Mom look over it, however i'd still like to see what you guys think. Please keep in mind that this is my first essay I've had to write so if its terrible, i understand.
Prompt: Florida State University is more than just a world-class academic institution preparing you for a future career. We are a caring community of well-rounded individuals who embrace leadership, learning, service, and global awareness. With this in mind, which of these characteristics appeal most to you, and why?
Knowledge is an infinite aspect of the perpetually changing world we live in today. In order to grow with these changes, we as a people must be open to the idea of learning. This idea pertains not only to academics, but the important life lessons we're faced with on a day-to-day basis. Our personal experiences not only allow us to learn from our mistakes, but provide us the necessary practice to be applied to other aspects of life. Learning appeals most to me, being that I realized early in life that education is everything.
Throughout my early educational experience, academics were never a difficulty of mine. All through my education A's came easy for me. It wasn't until my freshman year of high school when I learned that my days of doing the bare minimum and receiving a grade I was proud of, was over; especially at a world class high school. The easy A's I was use to were now C's, and on a good day, low B's. I once read "When you want to succeed as bad as you breathe, then you will be successful". This quote caused me to have somewhat of an epiphany: if I earnestly wanted to earn the grade I expected, I had to work for it. I had to push through boundaries and work hard to achieve my desired results. Whether it be missing lunch to study for a test or completing homework after a late volleyball game, if I wanted it, I had to work for it; no excuses.
Although sometimes, I still fell short of an A by a point or two, the lesson learned surpassed the grade by a long shot. The message to persevere will help me through life's difficulties I may be faced with as an adult. Despite contrary belief, learning isn't solely academic achievement. It entails a person's growth and maturity as a person. As clichĂŠ as it sounds, it's about making mistakes and learning from them. Alan Ada once said "Be as smart as you can, but remember, it's always better to be wise than smart". To me, knowledge gives life meaning and one should want to learn as much as possible in a given lifetime. Learning embraces all aspects of life and by choosing to learn, one is choosing to live.
This is a great essay! You thoroughly covered all the aspects of why learning was your top priority in life.
I believe that college administrators will see this essay as one that stands out.
The minor quips I have are just simple grammatical issues.
In the last paragraph, it should be "learning isn't solely an academic achievement."
"The easy A's I was used to"
Besides that, the essay is solid.
I really enjoyed reading it.
Thanks!
