To get accepted into USC, one must _____________. (USC SUPPLEMENT)

Hello, I recently drafted my essay for USC. Any feedback would be great! Thank you.

Describe how you plan to pursue your academic interests at USC. Please feel free to address your first-and second-choice major selections. (250 word limit)

Living in a world of academia perplexed by the perpetual career choices, my desire led to pursuing an education in business at the USC Marshall School of Business. Taking courses such as BUAD 306 and BUAD 497 will further my intellectual knowledge, but most importantly, as a person and a leader. With over 40 business student organizations, I would join Phi Beta Lambda to distinct myself from other students. In ΦΒΛ, I would gain leadership experience and skills essential to becoming tomorrow's business leader. The experiences gained through the organization would foster my future into something exponential. Most importantly, I plan on learning about international business practices through the LINC program. Participating in LINC would allow me to accumulate perspectives of international business practices. Traveling to a foreign country would allow me to expand my cultural horizons and learn how foreign businesses differ from America while understanding the globalization between countries. At USC Marshall, the vast worldly perspectives that I'll garner from my interactions with my peers and professors as well as the knowledge from my courses will lay the foundation for me to do the seemingly unthinkable. At USC, not only a renowned education will be obtained, but also lifelong relationships with others. USC epitomizes the education I hope to obtain.

212 WORDS

NIcholas, I am not sure how simply joining the Phi Beta Lambda fraternity will distinguish you from other students. First of all, you are not absolutely sure that the fraternity will accept you even if you pledge to them. Second, you have not made any mention of activities within the fraternity that will help you to stand out among the other frat members and ordinary students. Therefore, I think that you are assuming too much in mentioning a specific fraternity. Who knows, you might end up in a different house in the end. The best thing for you to do would be to approach the presentation of a fraternity in general terms and then discussing what you hope to accomplish as a member of a fraternity, be general, not specific in approach.

@Holt
Future Business Leaders of America Phi Beta Lambda is actually a student business organization in the world committed to preparing students for success in business leadership, I should have mentioned it in the post, I'm not sure if you knew it was a club not a fraternity. Thank you for your input! Do you notice anything I should change in the rest of the essay?

Thanks for the clarification. I believe that you still pursue some presentation about the organization that will help you stand out at the university. After all , you seem to be focused on using it to pursue your academic interests while there. My suggestion, is that you omit the part that discusses travel to foreign country in relation to your academic pursuits. Since the travel is not university based, the mention of it runs counter to the prompt expectations. The next sentence though, regarding the exchange of cultures as a student works well in representing the method by which you can further pursue your academic interests at USC. Perhaps expanding upon the LINC program and what you hope to pursue or achieve as a participant in the program will further heighten your explanation. It seems rather short and uninformative at this point. By the way, try to space out your discussion using paragraphs if you can. The presentation is just too stressful on the reader as there are no separations between discussions. I can see at least 3 points where you can start new paragraphs to make the reading easier on the eyes. Maybe you can spot them too?