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The accident that left my nose damaged badly


shahindian2009 8 / 12  
Dec 12, 2008   #1
Prompt: Describe your most interesting mistake.

As I blew the candles on my birthday cake, I made a wish; a wish to have a normal nose again.

SMASH! Right into the back of a boy's head. I remember the accident at the age of seven that left my nose so damaged, it attracted unwanted attention from gawkers and mockers. My nose was nothing more than a flattened piece of fused cartilage restricting my capabilities to breathe properly.

This was my most interesting mistake. Interesting, why? Because I owe everything that I am today to this one accident.

I was called "Freak!", "Pig-faced!" and sometimes downright "Ugly." Devastated, I constantly scurried to bury myself into a book, in fear that someone would make another mean joke about my nose.

Screams of agony from excruciating pain were accompanied by endless nose bleeds. This was my life over the course of four tormenting surgeries meant to fix my nose. I assumed that these bone-breaking, expensive reconstructive surgeries, would be the antidote for my despondent perspective of life.

At the age fifteen, I had a revelation at my grandfather's funeral. Grandpa, a determined women-rights leader, always said, "Poonam, society can try to take away your beauty, confidence, and dignity, but no one can take your knowledge gained from education." I realized that I had foolishly lost my way by allowing this narcissistic society to devour my confidence, self-beauty, and dignity.

I stopped caring about the vile slander and began to grasp that I needed to develop a new optimistic outlook towards life. I was immensely motivated to interact with this "new world" I began to see.

By becoming actively involved in school and community activities, my self-confidence and quest for knowledge has grown exponentially. I now possess the fortitude and knowledge to deliver speeches in front of large crowds and have become a prominent leader in my school and community.

I now participate in sports such as varsity tennis, track and field, and the summer swim team without fear, instead, with confidence and perseverance.

It was an honor to have been selected to participate in the distinguished Congressional Academy and also have been recognized with numerous academic, leadership awards.

I can now walk through the halls at school looking towards the horizon with my head held high while finally receiving respect from my peers for what I do, not what I look like.

I have accepted the fact that I am an independent and determined leader who will no longer be the little girl who hid from the world.

This mistake of allowing myself to be devoured by a critical, leviathan society, has been my greatest blunder. However, this mistake serves as the catalyst in developing the strong and confident person I am today.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Dec 12, 2008   #2
Overall a very good job. An interesting story full of vivid details and thoughtful reflection. To improve, I'd work more on smoothing out the transitions from one paragraph to the next. Some of them can be a bit abrupt. For instance, while it is clear that your Grandfather;s advice allowed you to see yourself in a new light, it is less obvious how it allowed you to see others, who had been quite cruel, in an optimistic way.


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