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Accomplishments of Warren Buffet; UT- lifetime goals/academic &extra-curricular activities


benjakapo 1 / -  
Oct 27, 2013   #1
Considering your lifetime goals, discuss how your current and future academic and extra-curricular activities might help you achieve your goals.

I was amazed when fist heard of the epic accomplishments of Warren Buffet and dreamed to become someone like him ever since. Unlike other teenagers who barely put their thoughts into action, not only have I been working hard academically, but I also participated in abundant extra-curricular activities that I think will help me reach my goal. My desire to become a successful businessman was so intense that I started preparing for my goal at very young age.

I knew the important role language plays in a business career, and therefore immigrated to Argentina at the age of 12 with the support of my family. I spent three years in Argentina, and these three years gave me such a great positive influence that I had the ability to learn to speak fluent Spanish, play soccer, rugby, and saxophone. I gained plenty of knowledge about the geography and social economic status of South American nations. By the time I left Argentina, the land of Latin America had made me humorous, enthusiastic and energetic, a more cheerful person overall. I consider these characters essential to my future career.

I attended an American public high school as a freshman. Even though my grades in the first 2 years in public school were not satisfactory, once I realized my mistakes, I immediately took actions with a positive attitude to live my life to the fullest. In order to build self discipline and to become a more competent leader, I attended a military academy. I took all available courses that might help me with a Business major in college. I passed Advanced Algebra Trigonometry with an A and I am currently taking College Pre-calculus. These courses have established solid mathematical base, which is critical for a Business major. I took College Research Technology class to learn to prepare a professional college research project, as well as Economics class for a professional systemic understanding of economy. I also took French courses after school and German course during school to maximize my multilingual advantage. I was even promoted to a Platoon Leader. As a cadet officer directly in charge of twenty-four post-graduate privates, I learned skillful and experienced leadership.

Now I have grown into a more mature young man who is striving to reach his goal of life and to prove himself. I believe that my multilingual ability, along with my leadership skills, will assist me on the way to my final destination. After collecting information from the internet and asking advices from counselors, I figured out that The University of Texas-Austin is an ideal college, able to provide a fantastic learning environment for a Business major. I am excited to enroll in such college, and hope that The University of Texas-Austin can give me chance to take the crucial first step toward my dream.
amorphous1 - / 15 3  
Oct 29, 2013   #2
Excellent essay! Minor nitpicks below:

By the time I left Argentina, the land of Latin America had made me humorous, enthusiastic and energetic, a more cheerful person overall

Be concise. Choose two adjectives that do not overlap in meaning.

Otherwise, clear exposition that conveys most, if not all, the ingredients in an essay UT admission officers should be looking for.

~amorphous1


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