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"to achieve my goal in a timely manner" - Why Boston University? in 5 or 6 sentences.


DMA17 8 / 31  
Dec 10, 2010   #1
Prompt: in about five or six sentences, tell us how oyu first became interested in Boston university and what steps have you taken to learn about us?

In my search for a university, my main drive was to find a university that will best able me to achieve my goal of becoming an Internist, and Boston University emerged as a clear fit for me. Ever since I can remember, I have dreamt of a career in medicine, not for some petty reason like money or prestige, but for the satisfaction that I would get from knowing that I made a difference in someone's life. However, the thing that time and time again deterred me was the time it takes to get a degree in medicine, but Boston University's Seven-Year Liberal Arts/Medical Education Program came as the solution to my problem. This program not only allows me to take a combined curriculum that provides outstanding medical education but it also shortens the overall period of study, thus allowing me to achieve my goal in a timely manner, and as such BU is the best school for me.

I'm wondering if this is sufficient enough for the prompt.

Please read and reviesw my essay in way possible, any criticism is greatly appreciated.
glaserjf 3 / 14  
Dec 10, 2010   #2
I think you need to add a few more finite examples of why BU and a bit less about your goal of being an MD.

I liked "Boston University's Seven-Year Liberal Arts/Medical Education Program" - that was a specific statement about BU.

Just my thoughts. :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13319 129  
Dec 21, 2010   #3
not for some petty reason like money or prestige, but for the satisfaction that I would get from knowing that I made a difference in someone's life.

This part is not very strong, because it tells the reader something different than what you intend it to tell. It tells that you have money and prestige on your mind, and it wastes time with a cliche about "making a difference."

I think you should do some more reading. Read some great memoirs of physicians. Read the work of someone whose specialization appeals to you. THEN, you will have some fresh ideas and insights in mind, and they will be reflected in the essay.

Think about what this says about you: provides outstanding medical education but it also shortens the overall period of study...

Be strategic, and use words that instill in the reader a sense of inspiration. Get specific with your philosophy of medicine and intentions for the future. :-)


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