Through the tinted window of my backyard, I watched my two beautiful white Japanese Akitas, Shiro and Kira, lie on the brick-tiled floor staring back at me with curious, round eyes. "Dad, why did you separate them?" I asked after taking note of the unfamiliar fence that was placed in between them. "Kira is pregnant, so they need to get accustomed to the separation," my father replied. He explained to me how after a dog gives birth, she needs to be alone with her puppies for the first several weeks. "If Shiro is poking around, Kira might kill them out of anxiety. It's an animal instinct." I couldn't believe what I had just heard. How could a dog murder her own puppies?
The following week, as I walked by the living room where my mom was watching television, I heard the news reporter mention, "After shooting the rest of his family, this man committed suicide." Hearing this made me stop in my tracks. The man was already struggling financially and had a deteriorating marriage when he lost his job. Out of his own fear and desperation, he murdered his family and himself. But how could any human even consider doing such a thing? Do humans have an "animal instinct" that they act upon?
Still in a state of shock, I thought what it would have been like if my own parents acted upon their own animal instinct. How did they feel when they found out that I was diagnosed with hydrocephalus a month after my birth? That I would have to undergo a countless amount of surgeries with the possibility of growing up with mental disabilities? When they lost their jobs and home and had to move in with my grandparents?
If anyone, I thought my parents had the greatest reason to act upon an animal instinct. They could have given up on me as soon as they heard the diagnosis. They could have given up on trying to provide for the rest of our family after losing their jobs. But I saw something in them that I didn't see in anyone else. They had an unwavering perseverance that carried them through every circumstance. And I realized that through all of the emotional and financial struggles that my parents endured, they still loved me and took care of me regardless of the situation. Despite my medical condition and the possibility of me growing up with brain damage, my parents still saw me as a perfect child.
Seventeen years after my birth, my parents' hope in me and in their own life has taught me how to look at problems and challenges positively. Even in times of fear and desperation, I have learned to never give up on anything. The determination and perseverance that my parents displayed in their lives has become my own. Whenever I feel afraid or hopeless, I just think about all of the courage, love, and faith that my parents put in me, and I see how incredibly simple it is to disregard any thoughts of having an "animal instinct".
Any comments/advice would be greatly appreciated!
Good structure and creative perspective. (: But a few places to be improved:
The second paragraph serves as another example demonstrate the power of animal instinct, in that the man would "kill out of anxiety". So the ending sentence can be edited to a statement in stead of a question, so that you make your point more firmly.
The third paragraph describing the counter force of animal instinct, in that parents did not give up, and their perseverance overcame the difficulty. I think you can elaborate more on their thinking and doings. For example, in stead of saying "carried them through every circumstance", specify on what they were thinking when they made decisions, how they took care of you along the way, and how they met with pressures and risks each time, etc.
Finally, the concluding paragraph seems a little unclear when you say it is incredibly simple to disregard animal instinct without any real life experience as a proof. A strong point is made when evidence is given to consolidate. It is also rewarding to include more details because you can avoid saying the same things over and again.
Those are only personal views. Hope they'll do some help (:
