Can anyone just proofread and give me some feedback on these? Do the statements actually matter that much. Stats: 4.7 GPA weighted. 30 ACT. AA. Involved in a lot of clubs and political activist groups outside of school. A year ahead in coursework.
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The University values an educational environment that provides all members of the campus community with opportunities to grow and develop intellectually, personally, culturally and socially. In order to give us a more complete picture of you as an individual, please tell us about the particular life experiences, perspectives, talents, commitments and/or interests you will bring to our campus. In other words, how will your presence enrich our community?
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Life has shared with me many tidbits and gems of information over the years. Things like "don't think you can beat that car to the other side of the street" or "When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile." Small, but useful, things aside, I would say that life taught me being an activist, or even active, is one of the most amazing experiences. In addition, life has showed me time and time again that sharing ideas and thoughts is the best way to establish a community. Activism is a big part of my life in Chicago. I'm involved with the Illinois Safe School Alliance and About Face Theatre's Youth Task Force. Both of these groups focus on civil rights, specifically for LGBTQ youth. Being an LGBTQ youth and helping people just like me has truly been one of the most amazing experiences as a teenager. To me, it is really remarkable to think of me, five foot six with a nasally voice, giving speeches to thousands of my peers and even adults about what we can do to change our city, country, and society - and actually watching that social change take place over time. I hope to enrich Madison with this activism spirit and integrate LGBTQ social change into the campus. Moreover, apart for advocacy, I think that generally being involved with multiple "somethings", whether it is choir or sports or juggling club, is the best way to enrich a large campus like Madison. The fact that my interests are widely varied from varsity athletics to peer role modeling to spirit club to theatre is something that I could enrich the campus with. I think this demonstrates my willingness to try new things and hopefully it is another way I can enrich the community. Since I am a spoken word artist, I've learned that a space where a bunch of different people share ideas is an amazing culture. I've seen this from small café open mics to grand scale poetry competitions with cash prizes. No matter if we are competing or not, it is amazing to be in a community of sharing. I've even seen this proven in English class- AP Language and Composition- where everyone writes a paper about what they believe in. I wrote about believing in Lady Gaga as a metaphor for true individuality, while my other classmates wrote about things like religion, family, and even baking cupcakes. No matter what anyone said, we all listened and cared which just proved to me that sharing yourself and your ideals are a way to bridge gaps and build community. All that said, I think that my understanding of sharing ideals will enrich the Madison community, as it will simply further and expand the huge community that is already present. In general, my life has shown me so many things, but understanding and being active are the two things that have made my life an amazing thing to live. I hope that I can enrich the Madison community with these beliefs.
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Tell us about your academic goals, circumstances that may have had an impact on your academic performance, and, in general, anything else you would like us to know in making an admission decision.
I would like the admission committee to be aware of the amount of self-motivation I have. My school environment is prevalent with parents that are heavily-involved in their student's academics and extracurriculars. However, my parents are the exact opposite. They rely on me to handle my school, basically. My grades and test scores and activities are not products of parental prodding but rather something innate in myself to succeed. Moreover, it is important to note that I entered a selective enrollment high school in Chicago as a freshman who took all sophomore classes. Being a year ahead has no been challenging to me at all, except for course like science and math. My only C in my high school carrer was in Chemistry, during my freshman year. I would say due to my lack of math knowledge that class proved to be the toughest. I was proud to be the first freshman to take Chemistry, even though it was my hardest class.
..., is one of the most amazing experiences I think you can say something more specific or descriptive here.
. In addition, life has showed shown me time
You can leave out the word "that"
Moreover, apart for advocacy, I think that generally being involved
Since I am a spoken word artist, I've learned that a space where a bunch of different people share ideas is an amazing culture here is another place where you use "amazing," a vague word. Dig deeper to share a useful insight about that culture.
It's good to get rid of "that"
All that said, I think that my understanding
I hope that I can enrich the Madison community with these beliefs.
I like the theme of being active to contribute! You explored it really well.
