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my activities list - UC application

fabxx 9 / 6  
Nov 27, 2008   #1
Hi Gloria!

Please help me check for grammar errors, and suggestions on how to make them better? Thanks in advance!!

These are for my activities list.

1. Chinese calligraphy: we have to use a brush and write beautiful traditional Chinese characters. This was very hard for me because one extra line or dot can change the whole word.

2. Co-founder of Funky Union, a club that sells homemade treats after school and then donate the money to my local shelters. It feels wonderful to contribute.

3.Peking Opera can be defined as Chinese cultural dance-battle between two. Wooden swords are involved. I am honored to participate in such a rare activity

4. I am the editor in chief of my school yearbook. I am in charge of selecting the best from all our ideas, make them work out and make sure our peers like them.

5. I was elected as the Public Relations Officer in the Student Council. The Public Relations Officer 'markets' activities and events to students and teachers.

EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Nov 27, 2008   #2
Good morning :)


Avoid using "we." That makes it sound like more than one person is writing the paper. Instead try using "me" or "I."

'markets' should be "markets."

Otherwise, I think this list looks really good. Great job!

MOderator, EssayForum.com

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