Activity Essay for Common App (personal essay); 'three 1-week work experience placements'

So I have to write about one of the activities I had previously only mentioned, and I decided to do about my work experience in Landscape Architecture. It has to be 1000 characters which it is approximately (five words under). Please tell me if any of it doesn't flow or if the activity I chose is weak (I also have the choice of doing about my oboe, orchestra, dance, national maths challenges, working in a retail store, etc). ALSO any help on the first sentence is appreciated as I'm not sure how to say what I'm saying without it being that long. THANKS

During school, I took part in three 1-week work experience placements, the second being in Birmingham City Council Landscape Practice Group: the city's landscape architecturing group. This enabled me to realize the logistics in implementing new facilities in parks and areas in the city, whilst using measurements to decide where and how to install these. This part exhilarated me the most as it encouraged me to strengthen my applied maths and mental calculations. As well as doing initial site visits to help plan improvements and to watch renovations taking place, I was given a project of helping to design and place a bridge, and this bridge was used in a park in the city. I used software such as Adobe Photoshop to position the bridge and was taught how to use the program professionally. Whilst working in an office and learning these new methods with a variety of people, I had to develop conversational skills as I asked about and explored the range of jobs held within this workplace.

Try: For a work experience placement run during school, I spent a week working with Birmingham's landscape architecture group.

Try to talk less about what you did and more about how your experience changed you. Besides conversational skills, did your experience ignite a passion for architecture? How did it feel building something that would help people? Stuff like that...

thank you very much, i will do some changing