please can someone proofread an essay for me...thanks in advance
One must learn how to understand and to accept many a diverse customs and beliefs in order to adapt in a multicultural environment. Through countless experiences, one will gain the knowledge needed to interact with many individuals with miscellaneous backgrounds. Ultimately, one may able to exercise his knowledge in order to associate with other individuals with different stories. Throughout high school, I have been active in extracurricular activities such as track and field, honors programs, community service, clubs, etc. which all forced interactions with a diverse group of people. Throughout my many interactions, I will always remember my countless lessons and stories from my visits to Camp Fatima and Lead America.
After my parents and siblings have given me their last farewell on the campus of Georgetown University (Lead America), it had been the first time in my life that I was alone. As I walked around the porch of Georgetown University, I had stared at the many cliques almost instantaneously formed and decided against socializing due to my shy nature. Just watching my peers smile and giggle made me emotional, as I believed I would take nothing from this experienced and ultimately dread coming to Lead America. Filled with grief, I sat alone in my dorm room unable to speak a word until I met my "floor mates" who immediately made me feel at home. Throughout the week, my floor mates and I stayed up late telling extraordinary stories and experiences during our high school years. As the week progressed on, we engaged in idiotic but hilarious activities together such as playing nonsensical games, running around screaming as a means of "bonding and hanging out." As Lead America was nearing the last two days, I dreaded returning home, as I would be leaving my friends who have changed me significantly. When the final day came, I embraced my close friends and returned home a changed person. From my interactions with my friends, I changed from being the shyest to the most sociable person.
During the early portion of my sophomore year I had signed up for a community service at Camp Fatima, which ultimately changed my outlook on situations. When I arrived at Camp Fatima, it struck to me that I would have to care for kids with developmental disabilities in learning, self-care, mobility, etc. On hearing this I immediately dreaded my decision and hoped to go back home, as I had no clue what to expect from this situation. When the kids arrived, we were to sing the famous "Camp Song," which to me sounded redundant; however, the song put smiles on the campers' faces. As a "Fatimaworker," I was assigned to work at the kitchen and care for my "Fatimate." As a waiter, I was required to sing, dance and act silly by request from the campers. When doing these tasks, I was at first stiff and rigid but on seeing the campers smile and clapping I became at ease. During my time there, I became closely associated with my "Fatimate." Through my experiences with him, I learned to always appreciate the smallest "details," as every activity we did together always made him cheerful. Just thinking of the campers' expression of happiness through their endless giggles, and smiles alone gives me a sense of pride and contentment.
Upon coming into an environment with many diverse individuals, I will make the best of each experience. Although I may be entirely different from another individual, I will always learn a lesson no matter our differences. From simple expressions of smiles and chuckles, lies a deeper meaning, which ultimately changes our outlook on situations. Through these situations, one should be able to learn many a lessons, which can be used to communicate and adjust with a diverse community.
Good morning :)
"Ultimately, one may able to exercise his knowledge in order to associate..."
There are a few things wrong with this sentence. First, you use the pronouns "one" and "he" here, and your subject always needs to match. Choose either "he" or "one," but not both. Secondly, look closely at this section; is it missing something? Make sure that you are including enough words to make a complete sentence that makes sense; never assume your reader will add words in for you as they go along.
Avoid using abbreviations such as "etc." in formal academic writing; go ahead and write out your entire list, or shorten it using commas after each item in the listing, along with "and" before your last item in the list. Remember to always place a comma after the item that comes before the "and" when listing items.
In regards to content, I'm not sure if this answers the prompt because you didn't include the prompt with your posting, but it is organized and it flows well, has a body that matches your introduction, and a conclusion that doesn't introduce new information. All good things; keep up the hard work!
Regards,
Gloria
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