There's a section on the Common App that asks you to explain/attach a document if you have/will graduate early/late, have/will change schools, etc etc.
Both of those sort of apply to me (one definitely does) so I've written a single page letter for clarification and explanation purposes. I know this isn't really an essay but it still needs proof reading, right? Plus it's good if complete strangers read it because that's who my target audience is anyway.
So here it is:
December 12, 2008
Explanation of Extenuating Circumstances Affecting Academic History
Dear Sir or Madam,
With this letter I hope to clarify and further explain my unique, extenuating circumstances which, I believe, have affected my academic record; specifically the current academic year in progress.
I have attended two different secondary schools in different continents over the past three years. My family relocated to Hong Kong in the year 2001 after I completed Grade 4 in the Gifted Program at a Toronto public school. Prior to this relocation I had skipped a grade early on in elementary school so throughout Grades 1 and 4 I was a year younger than the rest of my classmates. When I arrived in Hong Kong, my parents had attempted to enroll me in the grade above my age level but the school's administrators informed us that there were no openings in Grade 5 and they could only put me back into Grade 4. I subsequently completed the equivalents to Grades 4 through 10 at various international schools in Hong Kong that followed a British curriculum. During Grades 9 and 10 I studied a two-year I/GCSE course and completed standardized examinations in 10 different subject areas in June 2008.
My family then decided that it would be best to permanently return to Toronto that summer for various reasons; my elder sister would be a freshman at an American university in the fall thus financial issues were involved and a close relative had also recently passed away. As a result, I have had to readjust in many ways to both my school and personal life. Upon returning to Toronto, I was granted permission to enroll in Grade 12 instead of Grade 11 due to my status prior to my relocation to Hong Kong 7 years earlier. The adjustments have proven to be quite challenging for me as I have had to adjust from a British to a Canadian education system as well as from a weekly, triple term timetable to a two-semester block schedule. Academically, I have experienced the most difficulty in my Advanced Functions and Physics classes, which has shone through on my midterm report. Previously, in Hong Kong, both my math and science courses were combined - with no specific concentration. In math we covered all topics including geometry, algebra, functions and statistics and in science we studied all three of biology, chemistry and physics over the course of two years. I believe the broad based IGCSE curriculum was very beneficial in providing a good foundation of knowledge, however, the math and science courses in the Ontario curriculum are very different in the sense that they are more focused on specific topic areas. As a result of the IGCSE curriculum's broad-based nature, specific areas of study (such as functions) are not studied in as much detail as they may have been in the Grade 10 or 11 course equivalent in Ontario.
I sincerely hope I have helped create a clearer picture and possibly cleared up any possible confusion on my circumstances. I am not seeking an excuse for my poor midterm marks, but hope that you will take my circumstances into account when evaluating my application. If any future clarification is necessary, please do not hesitate to contact me via email or telephone at [email address] or [phone number].
Thank you for your understanding.
Yours truly,
Priscilla Leung
Please read it and tell me if it's clear and easy to understand. I've tried to make it sound as simple as possible (it was hard) so that I don't have admissions officers scrunching up their foreheads trying to decipher this. Also, I'm not too sure if I need the last sentence - would the admissions office really need to contact me about this?
Point out any grammatical mistakes you might see as well or any suggestions for improvements for certain areas. Is the format okay? Is the middle paragraph too long? I'm currently sitting at a little over a page (everything after the last sentence is on the 2nd page) so I either need to cut it a few sentences shorter or fix the margins...
Thanks in advance!
Overall the essay is clear. If you need to shorten it, you may want to cut this part: "for various reasons; my elder sister would be a freshman at an American university in the fall thus financial issues were involved and a close relative had also recently passed away." Really, why your family moved is completely unimportant as far as the purpose of the letter is concerned. They moved, and you had to adjust. That's all that really matters. Also, you probably can leave off the last sentence -- I don't see why they would need to contact you about this, as you have clearly provided all the information they need to consider when evaluating your application.
Thanks! I've been debating whether or not to include why we moved - I didn't think they'd care. Do you think I need to mention that my midterm marks were published after only about 2 mths of school and I've continued to work hard throughout the rest of the semester and that my math/physics marks have improved slightly and I hope to keep going in this direction? Sorry, that was a bit of a run on sentence but you get my gist, right? :P
Yes, it is great to explain those mid term marks here. And as Sean said, it is good to eliminate all unnecessary phrases and sentences... stay totally focused on the purpose.
I hope this creates a clearer picture and explains the circumstances that led to these scores, which do not accurately reflect my aptitude and seriousness...
You will do very well! Your writing shows your intelligence.
