Additional info that may not be easily discernible from your academic record or list of activities

Hello! I am afraid if I am responding to the prompt fully. Also, please let me know if the story focuses more on Andres and less on me. Any critical feedback is truly appreciated.

Q) Please share any additional information that you would like the Earlham Admissions Committee to know about your interests, personality, aspirations, etc. that may not be easily discernible from your academic record or list of activities (500 words).

Earlham Personality, interests and aspirations essay

"I never thought Andres would turn out to be an outstanding human being." I thought on my way back from the Pune trip. As a teenager, I was highly judgemental of everyone around me; I always refrained from interacting people who had a bad reputation in the school. Ignoring the learning scope and personal growth one experiences by interacting with different people within a diverse community, I thought that if somebody is involved in illicit activities, they are bad people; thus there is nothing to learn from them. And interacting with them is nothing but futile. The judgemental behavior not only barred me from interacting with interesting people with amusing life stories, but I didn't take part in innumerable activities because I simply couldn't stand the people involved in that particular activity. But my opinion on people, their life-choices and how I will interact with them was completely changed when I got an opportunity to spend a few days with Andres, a popular brat of my high-school.

Over a span of three days, I realized what Andres or for that matter people with 'bad' reputation do doesn't define the kind of human beings they are. I understood that just because someone else's lifestyle doesn't comply with yours doesn't make them a bad person, maybe they were exposed to the circumstances which compelled them to adopt an illicit lifestyle. That three-day time span made me realize that in order to understand and foster a bond with people around me, I will have to eliminate personal judgments and accept them for who they are; I will have to try and get myself into their shoes. Those days were particularly life-changing because I realized that I might be able to extract the knowledge from books, but in order to understand it fully, I will have to discuss it with people who will give counter-arguments against it, thus the greater scope of learning about life and its complexities is embodied in human beings themselves. And understanding them is the first step to gain learning from them and their life experiences.

Although I have been trying to alter my behavior for a year now, I believe that it will come with more experience and patience only. For me, one of the biggest challenges ahead is people skills-listening to others, trying to understand them on their terms, and working together with others. I tend to get carried away with myself, which has some merit when one is alone or in a reverie but mostly detracts from collaborative learning and further personal growth. I believe that college experience will provide me an opportunity to interact and learn to work together with others, which will eventually help me to attain the people's skill. I quest for this asset as for me it is one of the most valuable asset one can attain to live a fulfilling and well-rounded life.

Hello Maddy. Contrary to what the prompt asked, you provide a story about how knowing Andres helps you change a personal behavior. Therefore, I think this essay is off topic. Talk about your hobbies, features in your personality (like the one you mentioned here "being tolerant and appreciative") and your dreams.

Maddy, this essay speaks of a character trait and personal belief that you had about a certain type of person. It is a mindset that was instilled in you over a period of time and affected the way that you view people. You were judgmental. Therefore, the essay is on track on account of it discussing a personal trait, but off track because of the way it is presented. Before you discuss Andres and his influence on you in the essay, you first, have to open the essay by explaining why and how you developed this opinion regarding the "bad boy" image students at your school. Before the reviewer can understand why Andres had profound effect on you and pushed you to alter your mindset, he first has to know what the foundation of the mindset was. So this is a good character trait essay. It does not fall under personality, interests, and aspirations. Rather, it falls under the "etc." part of the prompt. This is a good essay in the sense that the other prompt do not give you an opportunity to discuss specific character traits, ideologies, and beliefs. Discussing a particular character of your that you believe to be negative, but are working on turning it around is an interesting example of a person who is on a journey of self discovery by understanding others. That, I believe, should be the central theme of your essay.

@Holt
Thank you very much for the response. I am slightly confused about the part where you say that the essay falls in the 'etc' part. Is it a bad thing, or it's all right? Also, from what I understand, I believe that I need to revise the introductory paragraph only and focus more on the why and from where I got this perception about the bad boy. Rest of the essay is on-track?

Hey Maddy,

Nice work! Your essay answers the topic in a good way but I think if this is a college admission essay you may consider showing the good part of you, and not how you were only but how you are now! They want to see if you are a good candidate for their school so give them a reason to think it.

Maddy, the "etc." part is a good thing. Nothing to worry about. What meant to say about that is that the topic you chose to present is still relevant to the prompt expectations. The problem that you have is in the presentation. You need to make sure that you revise the first paragraph because it has to introduce the personality trait that you want to discuss about yourself in the essay. This is the foundation paragraph that will lead into the relationship and self discovery that occurred over time. Yes, you have to discuss where this understanding of who and what bad boys are in the opening statement. That will be lead into the story about Andres and you. Don't forget, the focus has to be only you with an assist from Andres. He is not the center of the essay, you are. The rest of the essay is right on track. You just have to focus on developing the problem points as I indicated above.

Thank you very much for the response! I will revise my essay according to the feedback given.