Additional Information section in Common App CHECK

You may use the space below to provide any additional information you wish to share. You may enter up to 650 words.

I am glad I have such an opportunity to talk about few things that I have had no space for in the application.
- Actually, after my participation in "NASA Space Apps" competition, I had a request from a company here in Egypt to go and reiterate the presentation once more for free, And I accepted their request. The presentation went very good, and it was written about me and my project in their monthly magazine which is such a pleasure and honor for me.

-Things like Astronomy are very unconcerned here in Egypt, for so, obtaining things like astronomical telescopes and such these stuff is very hard and very expensive. Nevertheless, my team and I kept searching for making a homemade astronomical telescope. I gathered the materials and successfully built it in 3 months after many failing trials. It is not that bad for a first time builder, but I take it with me when we go camp.

-One of the most things I enjoy and I need to mention is that I LOVE blending my interests and hobbies together! Hence, I tend to shoot astrophotography and I also play the space-related movies' musical themes on piano.

-My parents are really concerned with developing me, so they extra prepared me:
1- Mentally: as I had classes of UCMAS for years and I have reached an advanced level. I have participated in a national competition and was awarded the 5th place all over Egypt.

2- Physically: as I have been training "Karate" since my childhood and I have reached the dark brown belt. I have joined a big number of competitions, and I have won many certificates.

Please help me making this perfect and out of mistakes, cause my deadline is tomorrow and I'm so worried.
Thanks a lot.

Ehab. don't use bullet points when writing in this section of your application. It must still be presented in the proper conversational essay form as the other common app prompts. The problem that I can see with this particular presentation of yours is, aside from the problem with the format, you also do not have a clear progression when it comes to discussing your topics. I believe this is because you opted to use bullet points in your presentation.

Go back to the drafting stage. Outline the way that you want to discuss this essay. Which topic is the most important to you? Discuss that in a manner as clear as possible. Then follow up with the minor discussion points from your outline. In my opinion, you should discuss the following topics and nothing more in your essay:

1. The publication of your work in that magazine.
2. How your parents helped prepare you for college and a potential career at NASA.
3. Your extra curricular activities that help to make you a well rounded person .

The aforementioned topics will best suit this open topic prompt since it will allow you to touch on your professional side, your background, and your lighter side. All of which were not discussed in your common app prompt essays.