Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 2


Adjusting to Foreign Environment (Peace Corps)


changeurfeet 2 / 8  
Feb 20, 2011   #1
Hi, this is the second essay needed for the Peace Corps. Right now I feel this essay is pretty week if anyone has suggestions on how to make it more memorable I would appreciate it. Thanks for the help.

Experience on Study Abroad in London



My junior year of college I was fortunate enough to study aboard in London. While there I had an opportunity to intern at the Brunel Museum, I worked as their Assistant Curator. This offered me a unique experience to get to know another culture. I was depended on daily to open the museum, greet guests, answer phones, and manage the gift shop. The museum's Curator also assigned me two special tasks. The first was to become an integral part in helping plan and prepare for the museum's annual fundraising event the other was to conduct archival research to help the museum. There were many challenges that I faced in my day to day dealings with the museum. The biggest difficulty was the different dialects of English. There were many times in which the people I was dealing with had trouble understanding me. This manifested itself in the planning of the fundraising event. A volunteer and I were asked to clean up the museum and set up a presentation. While working on the presentation we often had to ask each other repeat what had just been said and to slow down while speaking. Another challenge I had to deal with was fitting in with my co-workers. I was one of the youngest volunteer working at museum and the only American. To find common ground with my co-workers I asked them questioned about London and try to keep up with the current events around the city. I found that by talking to them about the city and about their interests I managed to assimilate myself. In London I used the Underground to commute to and from work. Commuting on public transportation had its own set of pros and cons. It was nice to not have to worry about driving and I also was able to get a lot reading done during my half and hour commutes. Yet not being in control of my arrival time at work caused problems sometimes. This meant I had to develop a comfort level of communication with my co-workers and supervisor. If I realized that I was not going to be on time I had to be able to communicate this fact so the museum could function on a normal schedule. Through my study aboard experience I learned how to be patient, flexible, and willing how to learn to adjust to new challenges. I feel this experience will be key in being successful in the Peace Corps.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Feb 22, 2011   #2
pretty weak if anyone--- :-)

In this case, you need "during"
During my junior year of...

... an integral part in helping plan and prepare for the museum's annual fundraising event the other was to conduct archival research to help the museum. (end the paragraph)

New paragraph:
There were many...

It's important to use paragraphs! That is what enables the reader to make sense of it all. Introduce every paragraph with a paragraph topic sentence. Google that if necessary: paragraph topic sentence

patient, flexible, and willing how to learn to adjust to new challenges.--This kind of stuff is too abstract. You should revise the essay to focus on ONE theme, and I think that theme should be your career/educational goal. You should try to talk about the experience as it relates you your career/educational interests.

:-)


Home / Undergraduate / Adjusting to Foreign Environment (Peace Corps)
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳