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Admission Essay to UT Austin - I was the only child to single mom in the US Navy


siamesefox 1 / 1  
Feb 25, 2014   #1
Hello!
I'm currently attending a community college and looking into transferring to University of Texas in Austin this fall. Writing isn't my strong point so I was hoping to get some feedback before submitting my essay.

The essays prompt was:

Statement of Purpose

What I have so far

Growing up I was the only child to a single mom in the United States navy. With my mother always working and our little family on the move every few years, entertaining myself became an important daily task. Not having any siblings, my imagination was huge. I was a wildly optimistic kid with a creative edge and art became my favorite pass time. Everyday I would open these little art books and create whatever my imagination was growing with. I can still remember to this day making little dolls from Popsicle sticks and thinking how nifty it was to have a personalized doll. The older I grew the more I tried to 'discover' myself, like any other teenager. Art was pushed back as I tried to find my calling in high school. But during my junior year of high school I decided to try art again and took a digital design course. Little did I know, by the start of a few classes, my passion for art would return significantly. I was inspired and completely fascinated by every aspect of art. I knew from that moment that this was my true passion and who I am. Art can tell a story, speak a message, or even convey feelings to its viewers, it can do so much and with that said it ultimately led my desire to pursue a major in design.

Since the fall of 2013, I have been attending Windward Community College in the sweet tropical islands of Hawaii. My parents got stationed onto the Marine Corps base and at the time, prior to graduation, I thought it would be awesome to go as well and attend a few classes at a community college before I made my big break. I didn't want to officially pursue anything until I was officially sure with what I wanted. At the time I was thinking to myself 'lets see if shoe fits before running off.' And it certainly worked. First semester I took general classes to get acquainted with college curriculum and determine what I wanted. That's when, spring semester, I decided to put my foot forward and take a class that would be a huge part of my passion for art. That's when I took a 2D design class to know for sure this is what I want to pursue at a bigger university. This class with the art classes I took in high school along with my passion growing up really has shown me that design is a career that I want to pursue further.

Art can be a huge inspiration to many people, it took me years of exploring to find who I am and know for sure what I wanted to pursue. But I found it. I found that passion to pursue what I love at the University of Texas in Austin for a degree in design. I want to share my passion for an art education with the students of UT Austin. And grow into the person I found myself to be, the girl captivated by design.
niesaysi 16 / 290 85  
Feb 26, 2014   #2
With my mother who was always working , and our little family on the move every few years, entertaining myself became an important daily task.

I was a wildly optimistic kid with a creative edge, and art became my favorite pass time.

When adding another idea in the sentence, always leave a comma.Most students usually commit this error in writing. Don't combine two different ideas by just leaving a coordinating conjunction like "and". Always put a comma.

Good luck:)


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