Admission Essay Personal story - being friendless

I could pick any topic to write about and I choose to write about a personal experience.

I always wondered how it must feel to be friendless. On August 28, 2005, the Sunday before the first day of school, I offered my best friend and three of my closest friends to park in my driveway seeing that I lived about a 5 minute walk to the high school and they didn't have school parking permits. Everything was going smooth until March rolled around. One school day, my mother decided that there were just too many cars at our house and left a pink post-it note in each of their windshields saying that they are no longer permitted to park here. I was picked up early during Mrs. Horr's geometry class that day to take my driver's license test so I was unaware of what had happened and for some odd reason my mother didn't seem it was necessary to tell me. When I arrived back home from passing my test I skipped with excitement to my red razor cell phone and there were 5 voicemails left from my friends. I listened in disbelief and with my eyes wide open. The messages were awful, calling me words that I never want to here again. Terrified by these messages, I couldn't find the courage to call them back. I cried that whole night.

I tried to explain what had happened. You would think they would forgive and forget, right? No. They already decided they didn't want to continue being friends. These were individuals that I have been close with ever since the 4th grade! I was crushed. Losing all of my friends within a day was just mind boggling. My life changed dramatically. I sat on my bed that night shaking my head, just thinking to myself that this can't be true, I'm just having a nightmare. I honestly thought there was no way I could ever go back to school. I went into a funk. I started to do below average work in my classes and my appearance I'm sure was far from attractive. I didn't care. But that following summer I realized that this is no way to live. Those kids were obviously not my friends if something so insignificant would make them decide that I'm no longer worthy to be there friend. I changed my attitude completely. Having more free time than usual, I decided to volunteer for a no kill animal shelter by fostering a mama cat and her week old kittens. I instantly realized that I have been missing out on something so rewarding. This was the best thing that's ever happened to me. I found something that I loved to do and will continue to do. Without this unpleasant event I would have never found it. I look at every occurrence from then on optimistically. This major event in my life made me truly aware what I am capable of overcoming on my own. I am eager to grow and learn even more in the new and exciting environment of Towson University.

What do you think?

Nice job. You use a clear, concise subject for your essay and stick to it. A few suggestions in the essay, and also one more. Watch the use of casual contractions such as "I'm" and "can't" in formal academic writing, as they are inappropriate. Instead, write out the complete words.

Good luck!

Thank you for revising my essay. I also want to know if you think this is a good topic to talk about for an admissions essay?

You're welcome.

As long as it's a story that illustrates and answers the prompt, it is a successful topic. This meets that criteria, and you tell the story well, so I think it is fine.