Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3


ADMISSIONS ESSAY - "Maybe I am not good enough for this"


LoganAsh 1 / 1  
Nov 29, 2012   #1
It has to be 500 words
What is your personal motto? And who or what influenced you to live by it?

"Maybe I am not good enough for this," I thought doubtfully as my orchestra director, handed out papers pertaining to the New York trip we would be taking later in the year. I had always had a bad habit of doubting my abilities, though I was not sure where it came from. I had not always been that way. I thought back to middle school when I was convinced that I was the best violinist in the world. As he continued talking I was busy sorting through the wavering thoughts in my head. "Should I stay or should I go?"

I decided then and there that even if I felt completely inept, I would simply work harder and practice longer than ever before. I was pleasantly surprised at my optimism which is ironic because now it is a trait I cannot live without. I brought the papers home, and thus began the period of preparation for the performance at the Riverside Cathedral in New York City.

The following months were crucial. Along with standing on the side of crowded streets looking like a sad child with signs in an attempt to raise moneyfor the trip, I worked my fingers to the bone flipping through pages of the Brandenburg concerto marking rapidly with my pencil where the tempo or key changed. I attended every sectional, ready to learn all I could to improve my technique. I played the expressive parts a little lovelier, and the jigging rhythm of the St. Paul Suite with a playful vigor. My confidence grew more with every stroke of my bow against the steel strings of my violin. After the vigorous months I spent preparing, the time had finally come to leave for New York and to prove to myself that hard work pays off.

After arriving and spending time exploring the dazzling city, it was time to do what we came for. We arrived at the church early and moved promptly to the warm- up room. I was a wreck making mistake after dreadful mistake. My heart sank when I found myself on stage with my freshly rosined bow hairs anticipating patiently on the strings for the cue. We began to play. Within a split second the worry rushed away as if by magic. I tore through the Brandenburg, coming down in volume in just the right places and coming back up suddenly creating the perfect effect. I did the same through the following piece nearly swinging right out of seat with excitement. I felt one with the music and before I knew it, we were done, our bows thrust in the air with fresh rosin floating in the air. We headed home with our gold trophy in hand and fully satisfied.

That was the day I learned to have undying faith in myself. If I don't, who will? Anything can be achieved through optimism, faith, and perseverance, and it is a motto I plan to carry with me throughout college and beyond.
baileynmerrill 1 / 4 1  
Nov 29, 2012   #2
Maybe instead of "I had always had a bad habit of doubting my abilities, though I was not sure where it came from. I had not always been that way." try something like "Though it had not always been this way, I struggled with the habit of doubting my abilities, a problem I did not know the origin of." or something along those lines. Word choice just seems a little awkward, and the sentence fluency is not as good as it could be. you should not say you always had the bad habit, if you later say, it had not always been this way. This is contradicting yourself. "the wavering thoughts in my head. "Should I stay or should I go?" " should be "the wavering thoughts in my head, "Should I stay or should I go?"." Instead of "and thus began the period of preparation for the performance" I would say and thus began my preparation, or the preparation. Other than this, it is a great essay with a great story! Best of luck!
OP LoganAsh 1 / 1  
Nov 29, 2012   #3
Thank You :)


Home / Undergraduate / ADMISSIONS ESSAY - "Maybe I am not good enough for this"
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳