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UF Admissions Essay - Overcoming Rejection

x3racha3l 6 / -  
Oct 26, 2008   #1
Prompt:Describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your family, your school or community activities, or your involvement in areas outside of school.

Since I can remember, I have been a dancer. The first gift I remember receiving as a toddler was a teal and purple sequined tutu which I flaunted for a good portion of my early years. I was enrolled in dance classes at the age of 3 and they became my life. When I wasn't in class, I was wearing my sparkly tutu performing for my family and neighbors. As much as I loved dance, after preschool, most of my dance friends began to branch out into various sports as they became available. Feeling like dance was for babies, I too eventually joined a soccer league. My team was horrific; we lost every game we ever played, including the match against our parents. Devastated by my failure, I dabbled in multiple other sports before realizing that athleticism was simply was not going to happen for me. I concealed my true embarrassment of my failures by making jokes about my own lack of athletic coordination and gave up entirely- refocusing my efforts solely towards lyrical and jazz.

Sometime in the middle of my junior year I realized that my fear of failure was inhibiting me from leading a fully satisfying life. I thought back to the days when I was not afraid to try anything and determined that the inception of my self-consciousness was my pride. As ironic as that is, I was too proud to admit that I wasn't the best at something and my jokes ended up defining what I am capable of in the eyes of others. Sickened by my epiphany, I decided it was time to reinvent myself. My first task was to conquer the initial cause of my problem: Sports. Unionville's tennis team is among the best in the area so I decided to go for the challenge. After a summer packed with tennis lesson after tennis lesson, try-outs came around and I made the made the team-bottom tier JV- but the team nonetheless. As small of an accomplishment as this was in the grand scheme of my life, it made a huge difference in my way of thinking.

Since tennis season ended, I have proven to myself that I have successfully made a new name for myself. I decided junior year that it was time for the ultimate test of self confidence so I ran for president of the National Honor Society and, sure enough, was not elected. The proof of my changed image lay in my rejection, however, because even though I was not chosen to lead the club, as a result, I was later rewarded with the opportunity to represent my school at the NHS conference in Orlando, Florida. My newfound realization that it is ok to step away from what you are good at to try something new will provide me with many opportunities at the University of Florida. I am coming in with no inhibitions, ready to try anything and everything, which is the only way to come out a successful, well-rounded member of society.
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Oct 26, 2008   #2
I am concerned that the second half of the prompt is not addressed in your essay. You've done a good job describing the important event, but have not acknowledged how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. I think once you work on that aspect of your essay it will be a much stronger submission than it is currently.

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