Admittance Essay from a Archaeology student hopeful, UT Austin

I have never written one of these and I really am not sure what to write. I am applying to UT Austin for Fall 2013. My major will be 'Classic Archaeology'.

Let me know what you think of my essay (first draft). Hopefully it isnt too honest and makes me look bad. I'm sure there are many problems but I just need some guidance.

Statement of Purpose: REQUIRED
The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admissions committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and other application information cannot convey.

I have loved history and ancient cultures as far back as I can remember. The library at my grade school carried a full set of books on the myth and legends of ancient countries. These were my favorite books and I checked them out every chance I got. Apparently that was too much so the librarian told me I needed to start choosing other books. I chose World History and have been addicted to it ever since.

When I was ten years old my family went on vacation to Cancun, Mexico. I was fortunate enough to visit Chichen Itza. I was astounded at the magnificence of the ancient pyramid, the ball court, and pictures on the walls in a language I thought I could never understand. I always wondered what it would have been like to live there.

I graduated high school but unfortunately my parents could not afford to send me to college so I joined the work force. From ages nineteen to twenty six I worked as a Veterinary Technician in Memphis, Tn. I enjoyed my job but I always had this nagging feeling that I could do better. Of course I loved animals but is that really what I wanted to do for the rest of my life? I finally was fed up with it . I knew I could do better and I wanted to go to college so I enrolled in Southwest Tennessee Community College.

I soon found out that it would be a long road until I could study the things I had set my heart on. I worked for two years to earn the credits needed to apply to the University of Memphis. I even took classes that were not necessary for my application such as Anthropology and Introduction to Philosophy because I wanted to learn as much about the past as I could. When I was accepted to the University of Memphis I could not have been happier. I was so close to joining the Archaeology courses I could taste it.

Then my longtime boyfriend accepted a job here in Austin. I was upset that I might have to leave my school and dreams behind until I looked at The University of Texas and found that you have an exceptional Archaeology Department as well. I could even declare it as my major, something I could not do in Memphis. I was sold, we were moving to Austin. Once again I found that I had to attend community college to earn the extra credits needed for applying to your school and that my previous German classes would not transfer. I was a little discouraged, yes, but what harm come in learning multiple languages?

I have been in college for four years now and I am finally on the edge of where I have been wanting to be since I was a little girl. All the years of knowing I could do better but being too afraid to do anything about it left me the moment I walked into my first college class. I was not able to go when I after graduated from high school but looking back on it now I do not know if I would have had the same enthusiasm that I do now. I am an adult, I know what I want and the University of Texas is where I need to go to get it. I have worked hard to get where I am and will continue to do so at your school. I want to be a continuous student and learn as much about the history of our world and its people. I believe the University of Texas is the best place for me to achieve my goal.

I have loved history and ancient cultures for as far back as I can remember.

Apparently that was too much, so the librarian told me I needed to start choosing other books.

I graduated high school, but unfortunately my parents could not afford to send me to college, so I joined the work force.

I enjoyed my job, but I always had this nagging feeling that I could do better.

I knew I could do better and I wanted to go to college, so I enrolled in Southwest Tennessee Community College.

I soon found out that it would be a long road before I could study the things I had set my heart on.

I was a little discouraged, yes, but what harm could come from learning multiple languages?

I was not able to go when I afteras soon as I graduated from high school, but looking back on it now I do not know if I would have had the same enthusiasm that I do now.

I want to be a continuous student and learn as much as I can about the history of our world and its people.

Good luck with school!

:)

Thank you! What do you think of it as an essay in general? Too much information, or not enough? Should I omit any parts?

Thanks