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"adopted...attempted to connect to my roots" UC #2


GoldfishUnnie 2 / 3  
Nov 30, 2010   #1
So I have too many ideas for this prompt, but due to time constraints I chose this one...it feels a bit shallow to me, but what can I do at this point?

thanks for any help you can give!

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#2
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

I was adopted as an infant, and was never able to meet my birth-mother before she passed away. The only hint of my birth-father that she admitted to my adoptive mother and her own aunt was that he had been half-Korean. My childhood and teenage years were filled with emotional struggles that were related to the identity crises that I was left with - who am I? The only connection I have at all is with my birth-mother, in that we both have an uncannily similar paranoia about the Wendy's Restaurant chain - neither of us trusts a square burger. But as she didn't tell my birth-father about me, I have no connection to him, other than one word - Korean.

At first, I thought to embrace my mixed background, in order to have some form of identity, but in a mass of young people, being different can be a very bad thing. After telling some of my elementary school classmates about my father, I began to experience racially motivated bullying. Having added stress during a time when I was already suffering emotionally due to family problems, was not something I could handle at that time, and so I chose to discard my Korean roots, and to conform in order to protect myself.

During my late teens, I found myself wanting to fill that empty space that I held in my heart, for my birth-father. I began to read about Korean culture, I would try to find Korean foods, and I fell in love with traditional and modern Korean music. It wasn't until I graduated high school that I realized that I was no longer surrounded by people who would judge me, and I was finally able to let go of that fear.

One casual way I attempted to connect to my roots was through music and language. I decided to learn popular Korean songs, and record videos of myself performing them, which I would then post on YouTube. As I worked to improve my pronunciation and musical skills, the number of viewers increased to the thousands. Native Korean speakers began to complement me more and more on my hard work, and obvious love of the language.

One night, I was sent a link to a video, and what I found filled me with joy. The video was a segment of the Korean E! Entertainment News StarQ10 program, which was discussing the wave of international influence that one Korean music group was having via the internet, which was reflected by the many YouTube cover performances . The very first cover performance clip that they showed shocked me - it was from my performance of their latest hit single. I couldn't believe that what had begun as a casual language love affair had blossomed into something that a professional news network saw as worthy of airing. That brief moment on Korean television gave me a feeling of connection with this land that created a part of who I am.
g_sengupta 1 / 5  
Nov 30, 2010   #2
"I was adopted as an infant, and was never able to meet my birth-mother before she passed away." (take the comma out).

i actually like your topic a lot. i think it tells a lot about your background which is really good. i would suggest talking a little bit more in the last paragraph about how the youtube video helped made you who you are. maybe talk about how it added to your once lost identity. elaborate on that and i think you should be good!

good job and good luck :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 15, 2010   #3
- neither of us trusts a square burger. Awesome... you are cool...

Capitalize Internet.

This essay is perfect! I can't suggest any changes.

I agree with Gianna about this:
"I was adopted as an infant, and I was never able to meet my birth-mother before she passed away."
or
"I was adopted as an infant and was never able to meet my birth-mother before she passed away." (no comma)
* with "I" it is a compound sentence and should have a comma.


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