There are no set questions to answer for this personal essay. The admissions counselor just suggested I use it to define my reason for coming back to school and to clear up questions about my life over the past few years. I would appreciate any advice! Thank you!
To Whom It May Concern:
I first want to thank you for consideration of my application to the University of Pittsburgh. I am excited about the opportunity to return to my hometown and pursue an education with a world-class educational institution. I know that the University of Pittsburgh offers an education that will allow me to build a career that impacts lives. I took a non-traditional path to the University of Pittsburgh and I am certain that my unique experiences will bring valuable perspective to the classroom and add to the diverse nature of the University.
I started my college education in 2002 at XXXX University. XXXX University offered me experiences that will shape the rest of my life: most importantly I identified my passion for community service and developed skills that allowed me to make an impact on people's lives. At XXXX University, though, I struggled to define my purpose and questioned the course that led me there. I was not satisfied with the fact that I was merely living up to the expectations of others and not clearly defining expectations for myself. I struggled at XXX University, and, in 2007, decided that I needed to put my college education on hold and take the time to build perspective, discover my place in society and chart a new course.
I spent the remainder of 2007 and the early portion of 2008 as an employee of PNC Bank. In my time with PNC, I learned that I have excellent people skills and a natural inclination for leadership. I moved quickly through the ranks at PNC, from Associate, to shift lead, and finally, to Lead Project Coordinator. My time with PNC allowed me to build a professional resume that opened doors to a new career, where I could use my talents to improve the lives of others.
In May of 2008, I started my employment with the American Red Cross as a Development Coordinator. In this role, I worked with hundreds of volunteers in nine counties to coordinate fundraising efforts. I worked with volunteers, disaster victims and community leaders. I saw, in them, a level of commitment that inspired me to succeed. In 2008, I was responsible for over $800,000 in revenue for the organization. I also developed my communication skills and was recruited to the regional standards and training team, where I trained staff and volunteers from across the Northeastern United States. In my first year, I quickly gained the respect of my co-workers and superiors and, in 2009, I was promoted to Regional Director. In this role, I managed twenty-four exempt staff and twelve administrative staff. I oversaw all operations of the XXX Region with revenues exceeding fourteen million dollars. I learned that in a leadership role, the impact of my work can be even greater and I took pride in developing my staff and in growing the income that helps disaster victims and funds life-saving eduacation.
My time with the American Red Cross provided an opportunity for me to achieve the perspective I needed to set expectations for myself and define a clear path for the rest of my life. I know, now, that I am a gifted communicator, leader and problem solver; I know that I am passionate about helping others and I know that I am capable of achieving what I set my mind to. So, after three years, I am ready to return to college, finish my degree and continue to Law School. I see a career in law as a way to utilize my talents to their fullest extent and to continue helping others, and I see the University of Pittsburgh legal studies program as an outstanding way to begin this journey.
I will voluntarily resign my position with the American Red Cross with a heavy heart, but with a clearly defined purpose. I will be leaving a promising young career in a tough economy with no guarantees, but I am confident in my abilities and confident that the course I am taking is the right course. I can think of no better place to begin this next chapter in my life than in my hometown and with the University of Pittsburgh.
Some friends and family wonder how I can be happy knowing I will be in school into my 30's. They ask me if I regret the path I have chosen. They ask, if I could do it all over again, what would I do differently? My answer is: nothing. The decisions I made in the past created the experiences that shape me today and I know the challenges I face today will shape the experience of my future.
Again, I sincerely appreciate your consideration of my application and look forward to joining the University of Pittsburgh community. Please feel free to contact me with any questions, concerns or recommendations. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
This is as impressive as these things get. I am pretty blown away by it. As someone who considers himself a pretty good writer, I have to say I would be hard pressed to accomplish someting this good. Not trying to blow a lot of happy sunshine at you, but... that is the impression I got.
Your accomplishments and writing style together make this a perfect essay. You don't need any help from me! Please click on EF Contributors at the bottom of the screen!
as a matter of style, you can weed out some commas:
I know now that I am ...
Yet, here you need a few more commas in order to be perfect: a gifted communicator, leader, and problem solver; I know that I am passionate about helping others, and I know that I am capable of achieving what I set my mind to.
So, after three years, I am ready to return to college, finish my degree and continue to Law School.
Excellent, I hope to hire you as my lawyer! Seriously, I have a good feeling about your process. You seem to be living a powerful life.
