Hi guys I need help on my essay, if you have time please make some necessary correction. Thank you!
Statement: Advances in computer technology have made the classroom unnecessary since students and teachers are able to communicate with each other from computer terminals at home or at work. AGREE or DISAGREE
These days, our society is fast progressing technologically, and this development brings advantages to human beings. One of which is the comfort that computer technology provides to teachers and students in learning. However, I disagree to the statement that computer technology made the classroom unnecessary for three reasons. First, social interaction plays an important role in the learning progress of students. Without the classroom setting, no opportunity for students to mingle with other students and with their teachers. Secondly, there are limitations that computer technology can give. Finally, computer technology does not guarantee the success of students and positive effects on the students and the teachers as well.
Classroom environment provides a different satisfaction of learning compared to computer- based classes. It develops one's confidence, self importance and self- esteem since students are able to socialize with their classmates and teachers. To add, students can learn values in school through social activities done in the classroom . If students and teachers interact only through computer, students can not express their ideas and teacher cannot discuss and elaborate their their lessons well compared to when they are in the classroom. Eliminating classroom in learning means eliminating the interactive way of learning that makes the learning process interesting and fun.
Humans have individual differences, and this is true with students of different learning styles. Some students are kinesthetic learners while the others are visual learners. Compter-based learning caters only to students who learn best visually. This means that kinesthetic learners are not taken into account. Another limitation of computer-based learning is that not all students are well equipped with computers at home. If classroom is made unnecessary in learning, students who cannot afford to buy computers for themselves because of poverty are put into a complete disadvantage. For instance, in a third world country wherein not every student can have their own computer will not be able to cope with the computer-based teaching since the only means of learning for them is going to school.
Lastly, computer technology cannot guarantee total and positive learning for students. With the limitations mentioned earlier, students may experience difficulties. Learning through computers bring confusion among students and teachers. In relation to this, students are not able to comprehend their teachers by just merely listening and talking to them infront of their computers and the other way around. Misunderstanding between the two can also arise. I have personally observed this in my online teaching experience. My students had difficulty expressing themselves and comprehending the lessons taught. They showed confusion and misunderstanding since they could not really imagine my explanation. On the other hand, my offline students easily picked up the lessons taught since they could see my facial expressions together with emotions and feelings. This is also a reason why direct communication is necessary in education. The emotions or feelings that students and teacher imply can convey to each other cannot be done by computer-based teaching itself.
To sum up, yes it is true that advances in technology have brought advantages in human beings especially in education, it does not mean that education put classroom aside. Classrooms are still important in the learning process of students. However, teachers or educators can use computers as their aides in teaching their students and students can use it as an alternative and additional source of learning.
Usually you can maintain a reader's interest if you use transitions that more suitably set up the mood or tone (and flow better). Transitions like first, second, lastly are perfectly fine but leave the reader thinking that they are going through a list rather than an essay.
Also, try to cut down on unnecessary repetitive words.
For Example when you wrote:
If classroom is made unnecessary in learning, students who cannot afford to buy computers for themselves because of poverty are put into a complete disadvantage. For instance, in a third world country wherein not every student can have their own computer will not be able to cope with the computer-based teaching since the only means of learning for them is going to school.
This could be cut down to make it more clear:
If classrooms are made obsolete, students who cannot afford such technology will be at a disadvantage. For instance, in a third world country the only means of leaning is through a classroom.