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'advancing and enhancing technology / Bangladesh' - Gates Essay: Subject Excelled


rifatmursalin 13 / 36  
Jan 7, 2012   #1
THANKS SO MUCH! :-)

19. Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. To what factors do you attribute your success? Use specific examples to illustrate how you succeeded.

My family stepped on the soil of this great nation five years ago, eager to take advantage of the phenomenal possibilities. I am thankful to be a part of two distinct worlds because it has allowed me to experience diverse situations in life. The difference between my native land, Bangladesh, and America has instilled passions in my life: technology and political science.

Being raised in a middle-class family in a third-world nation, I encountered a society with little to no technology. After being exposed to the advanced technology of America, I was significantly drawn toward its implications. I decided to attend an out-of-zone high school to enroll in the Center for Engineering and Applied Technology magnet program. Throughout the four years of high school, I have had engineering and technology classes. Not only did I excel in these technology classes, but I also became involved in Technology Students Association by competing in state conferences, and becoming the Vice-President.

I found the contents of the courses truly engaging as I loved learning about 3-D drafting, C++, circuits, thermodynamics, algorithms, etc.The courses were very enlightening as they introduced me to the broad idea of not only engineering, but also to that of physics and computer science. These classes had a great impact on my learning career because I gained an exposure to the implications of technology while becoming a step closer to my aspiration.

My fervor for technology developed throughout high school, but it was last summer when it amplified. In the summer of 2011, I was invited to participate in the Governor's Honors Program (GHP) for exceptional students in the state of Georgia. The program accepts 700 of Georgia's best and brightest sophomores and juniors for enrichment in areas for which they are nominated. I was selected to participate as a technology major with a chosen minor in science. My personal experiences with a world deprived of technology and my profound interests in the uses of technology for growth of societies are the leading factors for my success. My aspiration is to work toward advancing and enhancing technology in third-world nations.

Another subject in which I have excelled is AP US History. AP US History was my most favorite course throughout high school as the content of the course was engaging and the instructor was phenomenal. AP US History was the first advanced placement class that I took in high school. By the time of graduation, I would have taken every AP classes offered at my school. The rigorous coursework and the daunting workload was an interesting challenge for me. I enjoyed learning about containment, manifest destiny, Monroe Doctrine, the Alien and Sedition Acts, and many more topics both similar and different than these. My interest in the politics aspect of US History led me to earn the highest grade in the class at the end of both first and second semesters. In November, my teacher gave us the option to complete a social science project to compete at the school level fair. The idea that instantly ignited in my mind was to do something on corruption and internal displacement. After discussing this with my instructor, I shaped my topic to be the precise question that follows: Does Corruption Impact the Internal Displacement of Nations in Conflict?

The topics of corruption and internal displacement occupy a vital place in my heart because I had once witnessed myself the atrocities of both of these occurrences. In Bangladesh, I was three years behind in my education because my parents refused to bribe corrupt school officials for my admission, which lead me to repeat two grades. I completed third grade in Bangladesh and enrolled in the seventh grade in the United States. The political corruption has wounded my education as a child. I fostered an acute hatred toward corruption following my experience. I have also experienced the devastation of internal displacement when my family members had to relocate from ancestral home land to an unidentified place in which they held no value.

I decided to focus on three nations in southern Africa: the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Somalia, and Sudan. These countries were the key witnesses of the grotesque impact of internal displacement. During the course of collecting data, I read several books and articles on the refugee situation in Africa. I conducted interviews with two African natives, who have had an extensive experience with corruption there. My conclusion was that corruption in Africa does manipulate the people to relocate because of the governments' failure to protect the citizens from violence. My strong dedication to enlighten others about corruption and internal displacement drove me to thoroughly examine and intently analyze my gathered data daily until my heart was fully satisfied with my gathered product.

This project has provided me with a memorable experience and much recognition. I won first place in my school, city, and regional competitions. Then, I proceeded to the 2011 Georgia State Social Studies Fair, and won the Best in Class award; my project was declared the best project in the State of Georgia. The concept of solving the crisis of internal displacement and corruption continues to intellectually excite me. My experiences served to make me realize that learning for the sake of learning provides us exposure, tolerance, and passion in life.
Nana12 3 / 12  
Jan 7, 2012   #2
This is an awesome essay. However, you have a few grammatical errors, so be sure to correct them before you submit.
In addition, maybe you should stick with AP US or technology as the main focus.
silentspring 12 / 58  
Jan 7, 2012   #3
Delete "being", start with raised.
Your essay is excellent!
OP rifatmursalin 13 / 36  
Jan 7, 2012   #4
Thank you so much!
Anyone want to point out obvious grammatical errors?
Nana12 3 / 12  
Jan 7, 2012   #5
I edited your essay on microsoft word. I'm new to this forum and I am not familiar with editing on here. I can send it to your email if you like I have it saved.


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