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I am not afraid of the future anymore. I fell in love instantly with graphic design; admission essay

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Feb 28, 2015   #1
This essay is for my undergraduate admission
the college ask me to :
Write an autobiographical essay that tells us something about yourself that you feel is significant to your application and our perception of you.

I would really appreciate feedback, suggestion on how to improve my essay and any grammar error corrections.

thank you.

I was 16 years old when I had to make one of the most important decisions in my life. I was born in a little city in Ecuador called Riobamba. I loved living there. I had friends, and family. I was doing great in high school. Life was good there, but I never felt quite complete due to the fact that my parents lived in the United States. Needless to say growing up without them was difficult. My father wanted me to come live with them, so he petitioned for me. And when I got all my immigrations documents I had to decide whether to stay in Ecuador or to come to the United States. Knowing that I had the chance to come to this country was both exiting and frightening at the same time. It was undeniably a great opportunity. However, I was not a hundred percent sure if I wanted to take this opportunity or not. I had many fears. I obviously wanted to live with my parents but I was scared of leaving my friends and family. And I kept thinking that I will probably never feel at home again. Besides all of that in my head I started to create doubts and fears about coming to America. I knew there would be things holding me back in this country, things such as language, customs, culture, and most importantly my fears. One of the biggest worries was about my future. I worried I was not going to be able to get an education. I did not know if it was going to be able to graduate from high school, much less if I would ever go to college.

Confused and fearful, I decided to come live in the United States with my parents. I knew that it was not going to be easy that I had to be determined to fight against all obstacles and my fears. A week after I arrived I started high school. I remember my first day of high school like it was yesterday. I was terrified. I felt like a fish out of water. I didn't know anybody there. I wanted to go home and never come back, but there was this one class that somehow made me feel at home. It was a drawing class, which became my comfort. It made me want to go to school everyday. I have always loved to draw but I didn't know how important was drawing to me before that class.

Like I mention before I had doubts and fears about my future. I didn't know what I wanted to be or what career to choose. But thanks to that drawing class. I started to see my future clearer. When I graduated high school I decided that the best option for me was to start in a community college. At first I wanted to major in fine arts but I was not completely sure. I didn't choose a major for the first year. Each semester I would take different art classes to explore my options a little bit more. Than one semester my advisor suggested I should register for a Graphic Design class. And that was the moment that I found out what I really wanted to do. I fell in love instantly with graphic design. The things I love the most about it is how a design whether is a logo, packaging, or even a T-shirt can communicate a million things at once. This is what I want to do for the rest of my life. Never expected graphic arts to help me remove the doubts of my head. That the fears I had are not as large as seemed when I first got I realized that Graphic design was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. At that college I had been able to built my skills in the field of Graphic Design. I have also been able to meet some great people. Especially teachers that are in this field and inspire me. I never expected to find my passion this way. I never thought that

Finding what to do in the future and what career I want to pursue has help me remove the doubts and insecurities in my head. Likewise the fears I had are not as big or scary as seemed when I first came to the United States. I had to admit that a few years ago I was questioning if I made the right decision by come to this country. But now I really have no regrets at all. If I never came here I would never have found my passion. Although it was hard at first due to the language the people and the culture, I had been able to overcome all of this obstacles. And now I am ready to expand my education. Improve my skills In Graphic Design. I'm ready to grow both professionally and personally. Now I can say that I am exited about the future.

zasif326 3 / 5  
Feb 28, 2015   #2
This is a very moving essay! You have quite a few grammatical errors, such as lack of commas, and verbage. Also, you have a lot of very short sentences like "I had friends, and family... I was terrified..." With many of these sentences, you can easily connect them together so they flow better. I think you should just proofread a few more times. Try to recognize some of your own small errors if you can, and then post it again.
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Mar 1, 2015   #3
thank you I revised it . thanks for the advice!

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