Question: Why Swarthmore?
Any sentences that could be omitted or shortened?
(Want A Central Title Thats Creative)
Afro-Psych-Ology
Afropsychology, as defined by C. S. Belser, future afropsychologist: the science of the mind and behavior of black people across various societies.
An individualized major in "afropsychology" would allow me to explore the history, culture, economic conditions, and psychological understanding of Black people in Africa, the Americas, and elsewhere in the world. I have always had the desire to explore psychology and sociology, while remaining conscious that I want to dedicate my life and career to understanding and facilitating social change. Moreover, I want to examine the psychological differences of black people through the study of sociology. For example, what are the different behaviors and mind patterns of black people who live in Baltimore or London or Zimbabwe? Or, how do different social classes and their stratifications affect the behaviors of black people in their society? I know Swarthmore is the foundation for getting me one step closer to answering my many questions.
At Swarthmore College, I will have the ideal setting and support in assisting me in studying what I call "afropsychology." The range of courses between the Black Studies, Psychology, and Sociology departments at Swarthmore are just what I am looking for. From Race and Ethnicity in the United States to Psychology of Language to Fictions of Black America, there are phenomenal courses for me to take advantage of. In particular, I am very enthusiastic to meet and interact with Professor Sarah S. Willie-LeBreton. I have read her book, Acting Black: College, Identity, and the Performance of Race, three times since I received it as a birthday gift. Reading about her experience on attending a predominately white university, the effect it had on her behavior, and about the "awkward conversations and staring eyes" she encountered, inspired me even more to pursue "afropsychology."
A Place of Warmth amid Cold
Once over lunch with three Swatties, they described Swarthmore as, "not just a school but truly a home away from home." As someone who values relationships, I know that is the kind of college community for me.
Months later, I visited Swarthmore, thinking it wouldn't feel different than other colleges I visited. During the campus tour, I got to see the outdoor classroom chalkboard, the different phrases carved into the walls of buildings, and the Latin labeled trees, shrubs, and flowers. Walking into Sharples, I was pleasantly overwhelmed by the dimmed lighting and intimate atmosphere. It was days before midterms, but people took the time to relax with friends and faculty. These were things I hadn't seen anywhere else. Even though it was windy and cold, there was this warmth over my body from the campus. I finally understood the home that the Swatties I spoke with earlier had described.
Uniquely Implausible
I loved that I didn't have just an interview, but a conversation with Assistant Dean Jim Sawyer. As we talked about a day when students were conducting a realistic simulation of an Israeli checkpoint, a hundred different similar simulations popped in my head.
"What about simulations of the Chinese sweatshops or the Kalandia refugee camps or the journey a citizen must take to get clean water in Ghana?" I asked.
"We'd say go for it!" Mr. Sawyer replied.
On my ride back to Baltimore, I kept replaying my interview with Mr. Sawyer in my head. Even though he is not a student, the excitement that filled his face when he talked about the student's passions and the faculty's full support made me want to be a Swattie even more.
The idea of taking classes with scholars I admire, gaining knowledge on psychological inquiries, learning with and from people my age, as well as collaborating with an administration that encourages students to ask questions and seek answers, seems quite implausible. And like my tenth grade English teacher always said, "When something's implausible- it's one of the best things ever. Do not sleep on it." Swarthmore College is something uniquely implausible. To me it's one of the best things ever. I will not sleep on it.
A Place of Warmth Amid Cold
As someone who values relationships, I knew that it was the kind of college community for me.
-change to past tense because you start the next section off with "Months later..."
If you want to cut somethings down, you could start the second part off with something like "Once I was on the campus, I was able to understand what the Swatties were talking about." and cut out the sentences "I finally understood the home that the Swatties I spoke with earlier had described. " and "Months later, I visited Swarthmore, thinking it wouldn't feel different than other colleges I visited. "
Overall, I think your essays were great. The ideas were clear and obviously well thought out.
Good Luck! Hope I helped :)
I like the final paragraph a lot. Great connection between your English teacher and now. As for the first two sections, I think you need to cut back on "afropsychology". Give a brief explanation of what it is and why you want to do it, then focus more on how Swarthmore helps you achieve it. I would cut out the part about reading the professor's book. It looks like you're pointlessly name-dropping, though I'm sure it wasn't your intention. I would cut out the sentence about Sharples and maybe focus more on the personal qualities of the school as opposed to the aesthetic ones. After all, there are pretty campuses everywhere. Overall, a good essay though. Best of luck!
