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Why "Afropsychology" Major- Johns Hopkins- Student-Designed Major


Cortniesb 4 / 15  
Nov 27, 2010   #1
Hey, it's kind of urgent. This is the "What major do you choose?" essay. The limit is suppose to be 250 words, lol, so I definitely need help. Anything that seems unnecessary or should I just take a chance sending in this 675 word essay?

"Your search - afropsychology - did not match any documents." The spring break of my junior year, I spent my time "googling" college majors. I knew that somewhere, at some institution, there was a department and curriculum that was exactly what I was looking for.

Afropsychology: the science of mind and behavior of African Americans in various societies. I can vividly remember that day when this seemingly perfect major popped into my head. A thousand plus young people, with police helicopters circling overhead, on that cold March fourth morning, stood outside the Baltimore Juvenile Justice Center chanting while panting, "Books not bars!"

The Baltimore Algebra Project (BAP), a youth-led organization, which focuses on tutoring in mathematics, while promoting social justice, took the lead organizing in Baltimore. As a math literacy worker, an advocate, and the secretary of BAP, I have sat through extensive strategy meetings, made hundreds of phone calls, and spoke at what seemed like hundreds of events, in an effort to organize supporters for March 4th. This national day of action to defend education, made it an opportunity to highlight the fact that while Baltimore City schools struggle to find enough money for supplies, programs, and books, state legislators continue to fund the construction of new youth detention centers.

The next day, there were floods of emails asking, "What's going to happen next?" With everyone enthusiastically waiting, my one question remained, "What are the solutions so we won't need another national day of action to defend education?"

I am going to college wanting to answer this question. I have this urge to understand how my city and nation got to this particular status quo. I have always been intrigued to understand the human mind, human behavior, and why people act and do the things they do. Working with the BAP has guided me into silhouetting who I want to be, what I want to study, and discovering what I'm truly passionate about. And while I still have this desire to explore psychology and sociology, it is the consciousness that I also want to dedicate my life and career to understanding and aiding African Americans.

Intending to have a student-designed major, I know that my courses of study will give me the opportunity to explore every aspect I want to. Moreover, I want to examine the psychological differences of black people through the study of sociology. For example, what are the different behaviors and mind patterns of black people who live in Baltimore or London or Zimbabwe? Or, how do different social classes and their stratifications affect the behaviors of black people in their society?

At Johns Hopkins, I have the ideal setting and support in assisting me in studying "afropsychology." As a Baltimore native, Hopkins gives me the opportunity to continue organizing in my community, while receiving astounding academic knowledge "right out my back door." The range of courses between the Africana, Psychology, and Sociology departments at Hopkins are just what I am looking for to study at an institution. From The Power of Place: Race and Community in East Baltimore to Behavioral Endocrinology to Class, Stratification and Personality, Hopkins offers great courses for me to take advantage of. The opportunity to have classes that analyze the community of Baltimore, as well as other areas, is exactly what I seek in my college experience; getting me one step closer to answering my many questions.
jko 1 / 5  
Nov 27, 2010   #2
Hey Cortniesb thanks for reading my essay! I just finished reading yours, and it's AMAZING.

the one liner at the beginning is great! it really did grab my attention and curiosity making me want to read on (:

if you're looking to cut down on some words, the best place might be from your story? There's a lot of detail which makes the story interesting and intriguing but what you wrote in the paragraphs after that seem more important!
OP Cortniesb 4 / 15  
Nov 27, 2010   #3
Yeah, I hope I helped you.

&& Thanks! Do you think I'll be able to still connect what I am and what I want to major in w/o the story?
jko 1 / 5  
Nov 27, 2010   #4
It might be a little hard to connect the two together without the story! Instead of cutting the whole thing out maybe you can just cut down on some of the details or focus on a specific event in the story (:
OP Cortniesb 4 / 15  
Nov 27, 2010   #6
The bold is where I edited out a lot of the story. Are you still able to understand the story and everything without the extra details?

A thousand plus young people, with police helicopters circling overhead, on that cold March fourth morning, stood outside the Baltimore Juvenile Justice Center chanting while panting, "Books not bars!"

The Baltimore Algebra Project (BAP) [...] state legislators continue to fund the construction of new youth detention centers.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 11, 2010   #7
...Center chanting while panting, "Books not bars!" (Right here, give a sentence that clarifies all that the reader has seen so far. Connect the dots for the reader so that she can make sense of afropsychology before going on to the next paragraph.

The theme of this essay really is excellent. If you want to improve it, try to use the first and last sentence of each paragraph to make sure the reader is not confused about what you are talking about.

For example, you could use another sentence right before this one: The next day, there were floods...----At the time I read this sentence I am not thinking of the day as a particular day you experienced... I have already forgotten that you mentioned you are remembering your experience of a particular day, so it confuses me when you transition from a description of the event into "The next day..."

But you can easily improve clarity by adding sentences of explanation to the beginning and end of some paragraphs.

:-)
bluedolphinz 4 / 24  
Dec 12, 2010   #8
wow, what an AWESOME beginning! the only concern I have is that it's a little long... I believe the prompt said 250 words max.
bluedolphinz 4 / 24  
Dec 12, 2010   #9
wow, what an AWESOME beginning! the only concern I have is that it's a little long... I believe the prompt said 250 words max.
Quintus 3 / 5  
Dec 12, 2010   #10
The main bolded paragraph in which you discuss your involvement with the BAP is well written but, in this readers opinion, somewhat extraneous.

If you have appropriately detailed your involvement with the BAP in other sections of your application (as I suspect you have) more imagery about the day of the protest itself may be more prudent in outlining the genesis of your invented major.
nabid777 4 / 9  
Dec 15, 2010   #11
word count is 250 words remember that forums.hopkins-interactive.com/topic/563336/2/
grillojes 6 / 17  
Dec 15, 2010   #12
This is an outstanding essay! I wouldn't change a thing. It's a shame that the essay is restricted to 250 words! (?)
OP Cortniesb 4 / 15  
Dec 26, 2010   #13
Thanks for all the comments, and I actually now have the essay down to 249 words. Yay me! If you want to read it or need help with yours, I don't get on here much but you can email me. cortniesb@gmail.com. Thanks All!


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